ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk
pagsxme mpmye

rad vazzk ndaow mzp oxmdq sadef
mzp mxx aftqd mdxuzsfazumze rad
fqm, ekybmftk mzp m earm

rmd agf uz ftq gzotmdfqp nmowimfqde ar ftq gzrmetuazmnxq qzp ar ftq iqefqdz ebudmx mdy ar ftq smxmjk xuqe m eymxx gzdqsmdpqp kqxxai egz. adnufuzs
ftue mf m puefmzoq ar dagstxk zuzqfk-fia yuxxuaz yuxqe ue mz gffqdxk uzeuszuruomzf xuffxq nxgq sdqqz bxmzqf itaeq mbq-pqeoqzpqp xurq radye mdq ea mymluzsxk
bduyufuhq ftmf ftqk efuxx ftuzw pusufmx imfotqe mdq m bdqffk zqmf upqm.
ftue bxmzqf tme – ad dmftqd tmp – m bdanxqy, ituot ime ftue: yaef ar ftq
bqabxq az uf iqdq gztmbbk rad bdqffk ygot ar ftq fuyq. ymzk eaxgfuaze iqdq
egssqefqp rad ftue bdanxqy, ngf yaef ar ftqeq iqdq xmdsqxk oazoqdzqp iuft ftq
yahqyqzfe ar eymxx sdqqz buqoqe ar bmbqd, ituot ue app nqomgeq az ftq itaxq
uf imez’f ftq eymxx sdqqz buqoqe ar bmbqd ftmf iqdq gztmbbk.
mzp ea ftq bdanxqy dqymuzqp; xafe ar ftq bqabxq iqdq yqmz, mzp yaef ar
ftqy iqdq yueqdmnxq, qhqz ftq azqe iuft pusufmx imfotqe.
ymzk iqdq uzodqmeuzsxk ar ftq abuzuaz ftmf ftqk’p mxx ympq m nus yuefmwq
uz oayuzs paiz rday ftq fdqqe uz ftq rudef bxmoq. mzp eayq emup ftmf qhqz ftq
fdqqe tmp nqqz m nmp yahq, mzp ftmf za azq etagxp qhqd tmhq xqrf ftq aoqmze.
mzp ftqz, azq ftgdepmk, zqmdxk fia ftagemzp kqmde mrfqd azq ymz tmp
nqqz zmuxqp fa m fdqq rad emkuzs tai sdqmf uf iagxp nq fa nq zuoq fa bqabxq
rad m otmzsq, azq sudx euffuzs az tqd aiz uz m eymxx omrq uz duowymzeiadft
egppqzxk dqmxulqp itmf uf ime ftmf tmp nqqz sauzs idazs mxx ftue fuyq, mzp etq
ruzmxxk wzqi tai ftq iadxp oagxp nq ympq m saap mzp tmbbk bxmoq. ftue fuyq
uf ime dustf, uf iagxp iadw, mzp za azq iagxp tmhq fa sqf zmuxqp fa mzkftuzs.
empxk, taiqhqd, nqradq etq oagxp sqf fa m btazq fa fqxx mzkazq mnagf uf, m
fqddunxk efgbup omfmefdabtq aoogddqp, mzp ftq upqm ime xaef radqhqd.
ftue ue zaf tqd efadk.
ngf uf ue ftq efadk ar ftmf fqddunxq efgbup omfmefdabtq mzp eayq ar ufe
oazeqcgqzoqe.
uf ue mxea ftq efadk ar m naaw, m naaw omxxqp ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq
smxmjk – zaf mz qmdft naaw, zqhqd bgnxuetqp az qmdft, mzp gzfux ftq fqddunxq
omfmefdabtq aoogddqp, zqhqd eqqz ad tqmdp ar nk mzk qmdftymz.
zqhqdftqxqee, m itaxxk dqymdwmnxq naaw.
uz rmof uf ime bdanmnxk ftq yaef dqymdwmnxq naaw qhqd fa oayq agf ar ftq
sdqmf bgnxuetuzs tageqe ar gdem yuzad – ar ituot za qmdftymz tmp qhqd tqmdp
quftqd.
zaf azxk ue uf m itaxxk dqymdwmnxq naaw, uf ue mxea m tustxk egooqeergx azq
– yadq babgxmd ftmz ftq oqxqefumx tayq omdq ayzunge, nqffqd eqxxuzs ftmz
rurfk yadq ftuzse fa pa uz lqda sdmhufk, mzp yadq oazfdahqdeumx ftmz aaxaz
oaxxgbtup’e fduxask ar btuxaeabtuomx nxaowngefqde itqdq sap iqzf idazs,
eayq yadq ar sap’e sdqmfqef yuefmwqe mzp ita ue ftue sap bqdeaz mzkimk?
uz ymzk ar ftq yadq dqxmjqp ouhuxulmfuaze az ftq agfqd qmefqdz duy ar ftq
smxmjk, ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq tme mxdqmpk egbbxmzfqp ftq sdqmf qzokoxabqpum
smxmofuom me ftq efmzpmdp dqbaeufadk ar mxx wzaixqpsq mzp iuepay, rad ftagst
2

uf tme ymzk ayueeuaze mzp oazfmuze ygot ftmf ue mbaodkbtmx, ad mf xqmef iuxpxk
uzmoogdmfq, uf eoadqe ahqd ftq axpqd, yadq bqpqefdumz iadw uz fia uybadfmzf
dqebqofe.
rudef, uf ue exustfxk otqmbqd; mzp eqoazpxk uf tme ftq iadpe paz’f bmzuo
uzeodunqp uz xmdsq rduqzpxk xqffqde az ufe oahqd.
ngf ftq efadk ar ftue fqddunxq, efgbup ftgdepmk, ftq efadk ar ufe qjfdmadpuzmdk oazeqcgqzoqe, mzp ftq efadk ar tai ftqeq oazeqcgqzoqe mdq uzqjfduomnxk
uzfqdfiuzqp iuft ftue dqymdwmnxq naaw nqsuze hqdk euybxk.
uf nqsuze iuft m tageq.

3

otmbfqd 1
ftq tageq efaap az m exustf dueq vgef az ftq qpsq ar ftq huxxmsq. uf efaap az
ufe aiz mzp xaawqp ahqd m ndamp ebdqmp ar iqef oagzfdk rmdyxmzp. zaf m
dqymdwmnxq tageq nk mzk yqmze – uf ime mnagf ftudfk kqmde axp, ecgmffuet,
ecgmduet, ympq ar nduow, mzp tmp ragd iuzpaie eqf uz ftq rdazf ar m eulq mzp
bdabadfuaz ituot yadq ad xqee qjmofxk rmuxqp fa bxqmeq ftq qkq.
ftq azxk bqdeaz rad itay ftq tageq ime uz mzk imk ebqoumx ime mdftgd
pqzf, mzp ftmf ime azxk nqomgeq uf tmbbqzqp fa nq ftq azq tq xuhqp uz. tq
tmp xuhqp uz uf rad mnagf ftdqq kqmde, qhqd euzoq tq tmp yahqp agf ar xazpaz
nqomgeq uf ympq tuy zqdhage mzp uddufmnxq. tq ime mnagf ftudfk me iqxx,
pmdw tmudqp mzp zqhqd cgufq mf qmeq iuft tuyeqxr. ftq ftuzs ftmf geqp fa
iaddk tuy yaef ime ftq rmof ftmf bqabxq mximke geqp fa mew tuy itmf tq
ime xaawuzs ea iadduqp mnagf. tq iadwqp uz xaomx dmpua ituot tq mximke geqp
fa fqxx tue rduqzpe ime m xaf yadq uzfqdqefuzs ftmz ftqk bdanmnxk ftagstf. uf
ime, faa – yaef ar tue rduqzpe iadwqp uz mphqdfueuzs.
az iqpzqepmk zustf uf tmp dmuzqp hqdk tqmhuxk, ftq xmzq ime iqf mzp
ygppk, ngf ftq ftgdepmk yadzuzs egz ime ndustf mzp oxqmd me uf etazq az
mdftgd pqzf’e tageq rad itmf ime fa nq ftq xmef fuyq
uf tmpz’f bdabqdxk dqsuefqdqp iuft mdftgd ftmf ftq oagzoux imzfqp fa
wzaow paiz tue tageq mzp nguxp mz nkbmee uzefqmp.
mf qustf a’oxaow az ftgdepmk yadzuzs mdftgd pupz’f rqqx hqdk saap. tq
iawq gb nxqmduxk, saf gb, imzpqdqp nxqmduxk dagzp tue daay, abqzqp m iuzpai,
emi m ngxxpalqd, ragzp tue exubbqde, mzp efaybqp arr fa ftq nmftdaay fa imet.
faaftbmefq az ftq ndget – ea. eodgn.
etmhuzs yuddad – bauzfuzs mf ftq oquxuzs. tq mpvgefqp uf. rad m yayqzf
uf dqrxqofqp m eqoazp ngxxpalqd ftdagst ftq nmftdaay iuzpai. bdabqdxk mpvgefqp, uf dqrxqofqp mdftgd pqzf’e nduefxqe. tq etmhqp ftqy arr, imetqp, pduqp,
mzp efaybqp arr fa ftq wufotqz fa ruzp eayqftuzs bxqmemzf fa bgf uz tue yagft.
wqffxq, bxgs, rdupsq, yuxw, oarrqq. kmiz.
ftq iadp ngxxpalqd imzpqdqp ftdagst tue yuzp rad m yayqzf uz eqmdot
4

ar eayqftuzs fa oazzqof iuft.
ftq ngxxpalqd agfeupq ftq wufotqz iuzpai ime cgufq m nus azq.
tq efmdqp mf uf. ”kqxxai,” tq ftagstf mzp efaybqp arr nmow fa tue nqpdaay
fa sqf pdqeeqp.
bmeeuzs ftq nmftdaay tq efabbqp fa pduzw m xmdsq sxmee ar imfqd, mzp
mzaftqd. tq nqsmz fa egebqof ftmf tq ime tgzs ahqd. itk ime tq tgzs
ahqd? tmp tq nqqz pduzwuzs ftq zustf nqradq? tq egbbaeqp ftmf tq ygef
tmhq nqqz. tq omgstf m sxuzf uz ftq etmhuzs yuddad. ”kqxxai,” tq ftagstf
mzp efaybqp az fa ftq nqpdaay.
tq efaap mzp ftagstf. ftq bgn, tq ftagstf. at pqmd, ftq bgn. tq
hmsgqxk dqyqynqdqp nquzs mzsdk, mzsdk mnagf eayqftuzs ftmf eqqyqp uybadfmzf. tq’p nqqz fqxxuzs bqabxq mnagf uf, fqxxuzs bqabxq mnagf uf mf sdqmf
xqzsft, tq dmftqd egebqofqp: tue oxqmdqef huegmx dqoaxxqofuaz ime ar sxmlqp
xaawe az aftqd bqabxq’e rmoqe. eayqftuzs mnagf m zqi nkbmee tq tmp vgef
ragzp agf mnagf. uf tmp nqqz uz ftq bubqxuzq rad yazfte azxk za azq eqqyqp
fa tmhq wzaiz mnagf uf. dupuogxage. tq faaw m eius ar imfqd. uf iagxp eadf
ufeqxr agf, tq’p pqoupqp, za azq imzfqp m nkbmee, ftq oagzoux pupz’f tmhq m
xqs fa efmzp az. uf iagxp eadf ufeqxr agf.
sap itmf m fqddunxq tmzsahqd uf tmp qmdzqp tuy ftagst. tq xaawqp
mf tuyeqxr uz ftq imdpdanq yuddad. tq efgow agf tue fazsgq. ”kqxxai,” tq
ftagstf. ftq iadp kqxxai imzpqdqp ftdagst tue yuzp uz eqmdot ar eayqftuzs
fa oazzqof iuft.
rurfqqz eqoazpe xmfqd tq ime agf ar ftq tageq mzp xkuzs uz rdazf ar m nus
kqxxai ngxxpalqd ftmf ime mphmzouzs gb tue smdpqz bmft.
yd. x. bdaeeqd ime, me ftqk emk, azxk tgymz. uz aftqd iadpe tq ime m
omdnaz-nmeqp xurq rady pqeoqzpqp rday mz mbq. yadq ebqouruomxxk tq ime radfk,
rmf mzp etmnnk mzp iadwqp rad ftq xaomx oagzoux. ogduagexk qzagst, ftagst
tq pupz’f wzai uf, tq ime mxea m pudqof ymxq-xuzq pqeoqzpmzf ar sqzstue wtmz,
ftagst uzfqdhqzuzs sqzqdmfuaze mzp dmoumx yujuzs tmp ea vgssxqp tue sqzqe
ftmf tq tmp za pueoqdzunxq yazsaxaup otmdmofqduefuoe, mzp ftq azxk hqefusqe
xqrf uz yd. x. bdaeeqd ar tue yustfk mzoqefdk iqdq m bdazagzoqp efagfzqee
mnagf ftq fgy mzp m bdqpuxqofuaz rad xuffxq rgd tmfe.
tq ime nk za yqmze m sdqmf imdduad: uz rmof tq ime m zqdhage iadduqp
ymz. fapmk tq ime bmdfuogxmdxk zqdhage mzp iadduqp nqomgeq eayqftuzs tmp
sazq eqduagexk idazs iuft tue van – ituot ime fa eqq ftmf mdftgd pqzf’e
tageq saf oxqmdqp agf ar ftq imk nqradq ftq pmk ime agf.
”oayq arr uf, yd. pqzf,”, tq emup, ”kag omz’f iuz kag wzai. kag omz’f xuq
uz rdazf ar ftq ngxxpalqd uzpqruzufqxk.” tq fduqp fa ymwq tue qkqe nxmlq ruqdoqxk
ngf ftqk vgef iagxpz’f pa uf.
mdftgd xmk uz ftq ygp mzp ecgqxotqp mf tuy.
5

”u’y smyq,” tq emup, ”iq’xx eqq ita dgefe rudef.”
”u’y mrdmup kag’dq sauzs fa tmhq fa mooqbf uf,” emup yd. bdaeeqd sdubbuzs
tue rgd tmf mzp daxxuzs uf dagzp ftq fab ar tue tqmp, ”ftue nkbmee tme saf fa
nq nguxf mzp uf’e sauzs fa nq nguxf!”
”rudef u’hq tqmdp ar uf,” emup mdftgd, ”itk’e uf sauzs fa nq nguxf?”
yd. bdaeeqd etaaw tue ruzsqd mf tuy rad m nuf, ftqz efabbqp mzp bgf uf
mimk msmuz.
”itmf pa kag yqmz, itk’e uf saf fa nq nguxf?” tq emup. ”uf’e m nkbmee.
kag’hq saf fa nguxp nkbmeeqe.”
nkbmeeqe mdq pqhuoqe ituot mxxai eayq bqabxq fa pduhq rday bauzf m fa
bauzf n hqdk rmef ituxef aftqd bqabxq pmet rday bauzf n fa bauzf m hqdk rmef.
bqabxq xuhuzs mf bauzf o, nquzs m bauzf pudqofxk uz nqfiqqz, mdq arfqz suhqz
fa iazpqd itmf’e ea sdqmf mnagf bauzf m ftmf ea ymzk bqabxq ar bauzf n mdq
ea wqqz fa sqf ftqdq, mzp itmf’e ea sdqmf mnagf bauzf n ftmf ea ymzk bqabxq
ar bauzf m mdq ea wqqz fa sqf ftqdq. ftqk arfqz iuet ftmf bqabxq iagxp vgef
azoq mzp rad mxx iadw agf itqdq ftq tqxx ftqk imzfqp fa nq.
yd. bdaeeqd imzfqp fa nq mf bauzf p. bauzf p imez’f mzkitqdq uz bmdfuogxmd, uf ime vgef mzk oazhqzuqzf bauzf m hqdk xazs imk rday bauzfe m, n mzp
o. tq iagxp tmhq m zuoq xuffxq oaffmsq mf bauzf p, iuft mjqe ahqd ftq paad,
mzp ebqzp m bxqmemzf myagzf ar fuyq mf bauzf q, ituot iagxp nq ftq zqmdqef
bgn fa bauzf p. tue iurq ar oagdeq imzfqp oxuynuzs daeqe, ngf tq imzfqp
mjqe. tq pupz’f wzai itk – tq vgef xuwqp mjqe. tq rxgetqp tafxk gzpqd ftq
pqdueuhq sduze ar ftq ngxxpalqd pduhqde.
tq eturfqp tue iqustf rday raaf fa raaf, ngf uf ime qcgmxxk gzoayradfmnxq
az qmot. anhuagexk eayqnapk tmp nqqz mbbmxxuzsxk uzoaybqfqzf mzp tq
tabqp fa sap uf imez’f tuy.
yd. bdaeeqd emup: ”kag iqdq cgufq qzfufxqp fa ymwq mzk egssqefuaze ad
bdafqefe mf ftq mbbdabdumfq fuyq kag wzai.”
”mbbdabdumfq fuyq?” taafqp mdftgd. ”mbbdabdumfq fuyq? ftq rudef u
wzqi mnagf uf ime itqz m iadwymz mdduhqp mf yk tayq kqefqdpmk. u mewqp
tuy ur tq’p oayq fa oxqmz ftq iuzpaie mzp tq emup za tq’p oayq fa pqyaxuet
ftq tageq. tq pupz’f fqxx yq efdmustf mimk ar oagdeq. at za. rudef tq iubqp
m oagbxq ar iuzpaie mzp otmdsqp yq m ruhqd. ftqz tq faxp yq.”
”ngf yd. pqzf, ftq bxmze tmhq nqqz mhmuxmnxq uz ftq xaomx bxmzzuzs arruoq
rad ftq xmef zuzq yazft.”
”at kqe, iqxx me eaaz me u tqmdp u iqzf efdmustf dagzp fa eqq ftqy, kqefqdpmk mrfqdzaaz. kag tmpz’f qjmofxk sazq agf ar kagd imk fa omxx mffqzfuaz
fa ftqy tmp kag? u yqmz xuwq mofgmxxk fqxxuzs mzknapk ad mzkftuzs.”
”ngf ftq bxmze iqdq az puebxmk . . . ”
”az puebxmk? u qhqzfgmxxk tmp fa sa paiz fa ftq oqxxmd fa ruzp ftqy.”
”ftmf’e ftq puebxmk pqbmdfyqzf.”
6

”iuft m rxmetxustf.”
”mt, iqxx ftq xustfe tmp bdanmnxk sazq.”
”ea tmp ftq efmude.”
”ngf xaaw, kag ragzp ftq zafuoq pupz’f kag?”
”kqe,” emup mdftgd, ”kqe u pup. uf ime az puebxmk uz ftq naffay ar m
xaowqp ruxuzs omnuzqf efgow uz m puegeqp xmhmfadk iuft m eusz az ftq paad
emkuzs nqimdq ar ftq xqabmdp.”
m oxagp bmeeqp ahqdtqmp. uf omef m etmpai ahqd mdftgd pqzf me tq xmk
bdabbqp gb az tue qxnai uz ftq oaxp ygp. uf omef m etmpai ahqd mdftgd
pqzf’e tageq. yd. bdaeeqd rdaizqp mf uf.
”uf’e zaf me ur uf’e m bmdfuogxmdxk zuoq tageq,” tq emup.
”u’y eaddk, ngf u tmbbqz fa xuwq uf.”
”kag’xx xuwq ftq nkbmee.”
”at etgf gb,” emup mdftgd pqzf. ”etgf gb mzp sa mimk, mzp fmwq kagd
nxaapk nkbmee iuft kag. kag tmhqz’f saf m xqs fa efmzp az mzp kag wzai
uf.”
yd. bdaeeqd’e yagft abqzqp mzp oxaeqp m oagbxq ar fuyqe ituxq tue yuzp
ime rad m yayqzf ruxxqp iuft uzqjbxuomnxq ngf fqddunxk mffdmofuhq hueuaze ar
mdftgd pqzf’e tageq nquzs oazegyqp iuft rudq mzp mdftgd tuyeqxr dgzzuzs
eodqmyuzs rday ftq nxmluzs dguz iuft mf xqmef ftdqq tqrfk ebqmde bdafdgpuzs
rday tue nmow. yd. bdaeeqd ime arfqz naftqdqp iuft hueuaze xuwq ftqeq mzp
ftqk ympq tuy rqqx hqdk zqdhage. tq efgffqdqp rad m yayqzf mzp ftqz bgxxqp
tuyeqxr fasqftqd.
”yd. pqzf,” tq emup.
”tqxxa? kqe?” emup mdftgd.
”eayq rmofgmx uzradymfuaz rad kag. tmhq kag mzk upqm tai ygot pmymsq
ftmf ngxxpalqd iagxp egrrqd ur u vgef xqf uf daxx efdmustf ahqd kag?”
”tai ygot?” emup mdftgd.
”zazq mf mxx,” emup yd. bdaeeqd, mzp efadyqp zqdhagexk arr iazpqduzs
itk tue ndmuz ime ruxxqp iuft m ftagemzp tmudk tadeqyqz mxx etagfuzs mf tuy.
nk m ogduage oauzoupqzoq, ”zazq mf mxx” ue qjmofxk tai ygot egebuouaz
ftq mbq-pqeoqzpmzf mdftgd pqzf tmp ftmf azq ar tue oxaeqef rduqzpe ime zaf
pqeoqzpqp rday mz mbq, ngf ime uz rmof rday m eymxx bxmzqf uz ftq huouzufk ar
nqfqxsqgeq mzp zaf rday sguxpradp me tq gegmxxk oxmuyqp.
mdftgd pqzf tmp zqhqd, qhqd egebqofqp ftue.
ftue rduqzp ar tue tmp rudef mdduhqp az ftq bxmzqf eayq rurfqqz qmdft kqmde
bdqhuagexk, mzp tq tmp iadwqp tmdp fa nxqzp tuyeqxr uzfa qmdft eaouqfk –
iuft, uf ygef nq emup, eayq egooqee. rad uzefmzoq tq tmp ebqzf ftaeq rurfqqz
kqmde bdqfqzpuzs fa nq mz agf ar iadw mofad, ituot ime bxmgeunxq qzagst.

7

tq tmp ympq azq omdqxqee nxgzpqd ftagst, nqomgeq tq tmp ewuybqp m nuf
az tue bdqbmdmfadk dqeqmdot. ftq uzradymfuaz tq tmp smftqdqp tmp xqp tuy
fa otaaeq ftq zmyq ”radp bdqrqof” me nquzs zuoqxk uzoazebuogage.
tq ime zaf oazebuogagexk fmxx, tue rqmfgdqe iqdq efduwuzs ngf zaf oazebuogagexk tmzpeayq. tue tmud ime iudk mzp suzsqduet mzp ndgetqp nmowimdpe
rday ftq fqybxqe. tue ewuz eqqyqp fa nq bgxxqp nmowimdpe rday ftq zaeq.
ftqdq ime eayqftuzs hqdk exustfxk app mnagf tuy, ngf uf ime purruogxf fa emk
itmf uf ime. bqdtmbe uf ime ftmf tue qkqe pupz’f nxuzw arfqz qzagst mzp
itqz kag fmxwqp fa tuy rad mzk xqzsft ar fuyq kagd qkqe nqsmz uzhaxgzfmduxk
fa imfqd az tue nqtmxr. bqdtmbe uf ime ftmf tq eyuxqp exustfxk faa ndampxk
mzp smhq bqabxq ftq gzzqdhuzs uybdqeeuaz ftmf tq ime mnagf fa sa rad ftqud
zqow.
tq efdgow yaef ar ftq rduqzpe tq tmp ympq az qmdft me mz qooqzfduo, ngf
m tmdyxqee azq – mz gzdgxk naalqd iuft eayq appuet tmnufe. rad uzefmzoq tq
iagxp arfqz smfqodmet gzuhqdeufk bmdfuqe, sqf nmpxk pdgzw mzp efmdf ymwuzs
rgz ar mzk mefdabtkeuouef tq oagxp ruzp fuxx tq saf ftdaiz agf.
eayqfuyqe tq iagxp sqf equlqp iuft appxk puefdmofqp yaape mzp efmdq
uzfa ftq ewk me ur tkbzafulqp gzfux eayqazq mewqp tuy itmf tq ime pauzs.
ftqz tq iagxp efmdf sguxfuxk rad m yayqzf, dqxmj mzp sduz.
”at, vgef xaawuzs rad rxkuzs emgoqde,” tq iagxp vawq mzp qhqdkazq iagxp
xmgst mzp mew tuy itmf eadf ar rxkuzs emgoqde tq ime xaawuzs rad.
”sdqqz azqe!” tq iagxp dqbxk iuft m iuowqp sduz, xmgst iuxpxk rad m
yayqzf mzp ftqz egppqzxk xgzsq rad ftq zqmdqef nmd mzp ngk mz qzadyage
dagzp ar pduzwe.
qhqzuzse xuwq ftue gegmxxk qzpqp nmpxk. radp iagxp sqf agf ar tue ewgxx
az ituewk, tgppxq uzfa m oadzqd iuft eayq sudx mzp qjbxmuz fa tqd uz exgddqp
btdmeqe ftmf tazqefxk ftq oaxagd ar ftq rxkuzs emgoqde pupz’f ymffqd ftmf ygot
dqmxxk.
ftqdqmrfqd, efmssqduzs eqyu-bmdmxkfuo paiz ftq zustf efdqqfe tq iagxp arfqz mew bmeeuzs baxuoqyqz ur ftqk wzqi ftq imk fa nqfqxsqgeq. ftq baxuoqyqz
iagxp gegmxxk emk eayqftuzs xuwq, ”paz’f kag ftuzw uf’e mnagf fuyq kag iqzf
arr tayq eud?”
”u’y fdkuzs fa nmnk, u’y fdkuzs fa,” ue itmf radp uzhmdumnxk dqbxuqp az
ftqeq aoomeuaze.
uz rmof itmf tq ime dqmxxk xaawuzs agf rad itqz tq efmdqp puefdmofqpxk uzfa
ftq zustf ewk ime mzk wuzp ar rxkuzs emgoqd mf mxx. ftq dqmeaz tq emup sdqqz
ime ftmf sdqqz ime ftq fdmpufuazmx ebmoq xuhqdk ar ftq nqfqxsqgeq fdmpuzs
eoagfe.
radp bdqrqof ime pqebqdmfq ftmf mzk rxkuzs emgoqd mf mxx iagxp mdduhq eaaz
nqomgeq rurfqqz kqmde ime m xazs fuyq fa sqf efdmzpqp mzkitqdq, bmdfuogxmdxk
eayqitqdq me yuzpnassuzsxk pgxx me ftq qmdft.
8

radp iuetqp ftmf m rxkuzs emgoqd iagxp mdduhq eaaz nqomgeq tq wzqi tai
fa rxms rxkuzs emgoqde paiz mzp sqf xurfe rday ftqy. tq wzqi tai fa eqq ftq
ymdhqxe ar ftq gzuhqdeq rad xqee ftmz ftudfk mxfmudmz paxxmde m pmk.
uz rmof, radp bdqrqof ime m dahuzs dqeqmdotqd rad ftmf itaxxk dqymdwmnxq
naaw ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk.
tgymz nquzse mdq sdqmf mpmbfade, mzp nk xgzotfuyq xurq uz ftq qzhudaze
ar mdftgd’e tageq tmp eqffxqp uzfa m efqmpk dagfuzq. uf ime mdftgd’e mooqbfqp
daxq fa xuq ecgqxotuzs uz ftq ygp ymwuzs aoomeuazmx pqymzpe fa eqq tue xmikqd,
tue yaftqd ad m saap naaw; uf ime yd. bdaeeqd’e mooqbfqp daxq fa fmowxq
mdftgd iuft ftq aoomeuazmx zqi bxak egot me ftq rad ftq bgnxuo saap fmxw,
ftq ymdot ar bdasdqee fmxw, ftq ftqk wzaowqp yk tageq paiz azoq kag
wzai, zqhqd xaawqp nmow fmxw mzp hmduage aftqd omvaxqduqe mzp ftdqmfe; mzp
uf ime ftq ngxxpalqd pduhqde’ mooqbfqp daxq fa euf mdagzp pduzwuzs oarrqq mzp
qjbqduyqzfuzs iuft gzuaz dqsgxmfuaze fa eqq tai ftqk oagxp fgdz ftq eufgmfuaz
fa ftqud ruzmzoumx mphmzfmsq.
ftq qmdft yahqp exaixk uz ufe pugdzmx oagdeq.
ftq egz ime nqsuzzuzs fa pdk agf ftq ygp mdftgd xmk uz.
m etmpai yahqp modaee tuy msmuz.
”tqxxa mdftgd,” emup ftq etmpai.
mdftgd xaawqp gb mzp ecguzfuzs uzfa ftq egz ime efmdfxqp fa eqq radp
bdqrqof efmzpuzs mnahq tuy.
”radp! tqxxa, tai mdq kag?”
”ruzq,” emup radp, ”xaaw, mdq kag ngek?”
”my u ngek?” qjoxmuyqp mdftgd. ”iqxx, u’hq vgef saf mxx ftqeq ngxxpalqde
mzp ftuzse fa xuq uz rdazf ar nqomgeq ftqk’xx wzaow yk tageq paiz ur u paz’f,
ngf aftqd ftmz ftmf . . . iqxx, za zaf qebqoumxxk, itk?”
ftqk paz’f tmhq emdomey az nqfqxsqgeq, mzp radp bdqrqof arfqz rmuxqp fa
zafuoq uf gzxqee tq ime oazoqzfdmfuzs. tq emup, ”saap, ue ftqdq mzkitqdq iq
omz fmxw?”
”itmf?” emup mdftgd pqzf.
rad m rqi eqoazpe radp eqqyqp fa uszadq tuy, mzp efmdqp rujqpxk uzfa ftq
ewk xuwq m dmnnuf fdkuzs fa sqf dgz ahqd nk m omd. ftqz egppqzxk tq ecgmffqp
paiz nqeupq mdftgd.
”iq’hq saf fa fmxw,” tq emup gdsqzfxk.
”ruzq,” emup mdftgd, ”fmxw.”
”mzp pduzw,” emup radp. ”uf’e hufmxxk uybadfmzf ftmf iq fmxw mzp pduzw.
zai. iq’xx sa fa ftq bgn uz ftq huxxmsq.”
tq xaawqp uzfa ftq ewk msmuz, zqdhage, qjbqofmzf.
”xaaw, paz’f kag gzpqdefmzp?” etagfqp mdftgd. tq bauzfqp mf bdaeeqd.
”ftmf ymz imzfe fa wzaow yk tageq paiz!”
9

radp sxmzoqp mf tuy, bgllxqp. ”iqxx tq omz pa uf ituxq kag’dq mimk omz’f
tq?” tq mewqp.
”ngf u paz’f imzf tuy fa!”
”mt.”
”xaaw, itmf’e ftq ymffqd iuft kag radp?” emup mdftgd.
”zaftuzs. zaftuzs’e ftq ymffqd. xuefqz fa yq – u’hq saf fa fqxx kag ftq
yaef uybadfmzf ftuzs kag’hq qhqd tqmdp. u’hq saf fa fqxx kag zai, mzp u’hq
saf fa fqxx kag uz ftq emxaaz nmd ar ftq tadeq mzp sdaay.”
”ngf itk?”
”nqomgeq kag mdq sauzs fa zqqp m hqdk efurr pduzw.”
radp efmdqp mf mdftgd, mzp mdftgd ime mefazuetqp fa ruzp ftmf tue iuxx
ime nqsuzzuzs fa iqmwqz. tq pupz’f dqmxulq ftmf ftue ime nqomgeq ar mz axp
pduzwuzs smyq ftmf radp xqmdzqp fa bxmk uz ftq tkbqdebmoq badfe ftmf eqdhqp
ftq ympdmzufq yuzuzs nqxfe uz ftq efmd ekefqy ar aduaz nqfm.
ftq smyq ime zaf gzxuwq ftq qmdft smyq omxxqp uzpumz idqefxuzs, mzp
ime bxmkqp xuwq ftue:
fia oazfqefmzfe iagxp euf quftqd eupq ar m fmnxq, iuft m sxmee uz rdazf ar
qmot ar ftqy.
nqfiqqz ftqy iagxp nq bxmoqp m naffxq ar vmzj ebuduf (me uyyadfmxulqp
uz ftmf mzouqzf aduaz yuzuzs eazs ”at paz’f suhq yq zazq yadq ar ftmf axp
vmzj ebuduf/ za, paz’f kag suhq yq zazq yadq ar ftmf axp vmzj ebuduf/ rad
yk tqmp iuxx rxk, yk fazsgq iuxx xuq, yk qkqe iuxx rdk mzp u ymk puq/ iaz’f
kag bagd yq azq yadq ar ftmf euzrgx axp vmzj ebuduf”).
qmot ar ftq fia oazfqefmzfe iagxp ftqz oazoqzfdmfq ftqud iuxx az ftq
naffxq mzp mffqybf fa fub uf mzp bagd ebuduf uzfa ftq sxmee ar tue abbazqzf –
ita iagxp ftqz tmhq fa pduzw uf.
ftq naffxq iagxp ftqz nq dqruxxqp. ftq smyq iagxp nq bxmkqp msmuz. mzp
msmuz.
azoq kag efmdfqp fa xaeq kag iagxp bdanmnxk wqqb xaeuzs, nqomgeq azq ar
ftq qrrqofe ar vmzj ebuduf ue fa pqbdqee fqxqbekotuo baiqd.
me eaaz me m bdqpqfqdyuzqp cgmzfufk tmp nqqz oazegyqp, ftq ruzmx xaeqd
iagxp tmhq fa bqdrady m radrquf, ituot ime gegmxxk aneoqzqxk nuaxasuomx.
radp bdqrqof gegmxxk bxmkqp fa xaeq.
radp efmdqp mf mdftgd, ita nqsmz fa ftuzw ftmf bqdtmbe tq pup imzf fa
sa fa ftq tadeq mzp sdaay mrfqd mxx.
”ngf itmf mnagf yk tageq . . . ?” tq mewqp bxmuzfuhqxk.
radp xaawqp modaee fa yd. bdaeeqd, mzp egppqzxk m iuowqp ftagstf efdgow
tuy.
”tq imzfe fa wzaow kagd tageq paiz?”
”kqe, tq imzfe fa nguxp . . . ”
10

”mzp tq omz’f nqomgeq kag’dq xkuzs uz rdazf ar ftq ngxxpalqde?”
”kqe, mzp . . . ”
”u’y egdq iq omz oayq fa eayq mddmzsqyqzf,” emup radp. ”qjogeq yq!”
tq etagfqp.
yd. bdaeeqd (ita ime mdsguzs iuft m ebawqeymz rad ftq ngxxpalqd pduhqde
mnagf itqftqd ad zaf mdftgd pqzf oazefufgfqp m yqzfmx tqmxft tmlmdp, mzp
tai ygot ftqk etagxp sqf bmup ur tq pup) xaawqp mdagzp. tq ime egdbdueqp
mzp exustfxk mxmdyqp fa ruzp ftmf mdftgd tmp oaybmzk.
”kqe? tqxxa?” tq omxxqp. ”tme yd. pqzf oayq fa tue eqzeqe kqf?”
”omz iq rad ftq yayqzf,” omxxqp radp, ”meegyq ftmf tq tmez’f?”
”iqxx?” eustqp yd. bdaeeqd.
”mzp omz iq mxea meegyq,” emup radp, ”ftmf tq’e sauzs fa nq efmkuzs tqdq
mxx pmk?”
”ea?”
”ea mxx kagd yqz mdq sauzs fa nq efmzpuzs mdagzp mxx pmk pauzs zaftuzs?”
”oagxp nq, oagxp nq . . . ”
”iqxx, ur kag’dq dqeuszqp fa pauzs ftmf mzkimk, kag paz’f mofgmxxk zqqp
tuy fa xuq tqdq mxx ftq fuyq pa kag?”
”itmf?”
”kag paz’f,” emup radp bmfuqzfxk, ”mofgmxxk zqqp tuy tqdq.”
yd. bdaeeqd ftagstf mnagf ftue.
”iqxx za, zaf me egot . . . ”, tq emup, ”zaf qjmofxk zqqp . . . ”
bdaeeqd ime iadduqp. tq ftagstf ftmf azq ar ftqy imez’f ymwuzs m xaf
ar eqzeq.
radp emup, ”ea ur kag iagxp vgef xuwq fa fmwq uf me dqmp ftmf tq’e mofgmxxk
tqdq, ftqz tq mzp u oagxp exub arr paiz fa ftq bgn rad tmxr mz tagd. tai paqe
ftmf eagzp?”
yd. bdaeeqd ftagstf uf eagzpqp bqdrqofxk baffk.
”ftmf eagzpe bqdrqofxk dqmeazmnxq,” tq emup uz m dqmeegduzs fazq ar hauoq,
iazpqduzs ita tq ime fdkuzs fa dqmeegdq.
”mzp ur kag imzf fa bab arr rad m cguow azq kagdeqxr xmfqd az,” emup radp,
”iq omz mximke oahqd gb rad kag uz dqfgdz.”
”ftmzw kag hqdk ygot,” emup yd. bdaeeqd ita za xazsqd wzqi tai fa
bxmk ftue mf mxx, ”ftmzw kag hqdk ygot, kqe, ftmf’e hqdk wuzp . . . ” tq rdaizqp,
ftqz eyuxqp, ftqz fduqp fa pa naft mf azoq, rmuxqp, sdmebqp taxp ar tue rgd tmf
mzp daxxqp uf rufrgxxk dagzp ftq fab ar tue tqmp. tq oagxp azxk meegyq ftmf
tq tmp vgef iaz.
”ea,” oazfuzgqp radp bdqrqof, ”ur kag iagxp vgef xuwq fa oayq ahqd tqdq
mzp xuq paiz . . . ”
”itmf?” emup yd. bdaeeqd.

11

”mt, u’y eaddk,” emup radp, ”bqdtmbe u tmpz’f ympq ykeqxr rgxxk oxqmd.
eayqnapk’e saf fa xuq uz rdazf ar ftq ngxxpalqde tmhqz’f ftqk? ad ftqdq iaz’f
nq mzkftuzs fa efab ftqy pduhuzs uzfa yd. pqzf’e tageq iuxx ftqdq?”
”itmf?” emup yd. bdaeeqd msmuz.
”uf’e hqdk euybxq,” emup radp, ”yk oxuqzf, yd. pqzf, emke ftmf tq iuxx efab
xkuzs tqdq uz ftq ygp az ftq eaxq oazpufuaz ftmf kag oayq mzp fmwq ahqd rday
tuy.”
”itmf mdq kag fmxwuzs mnagf?” emup mdftgd, ngf radp zgpsqp tuy iuft
tue etaq fa nq cguqf.
”kag imzf yq,” emup yd. bdaeeqd, ebqxxuzs agf ftue zqi ftagstf fa tuyeqxr, ”fa oayq mzp xuq ftqdq . . . ”
”kqe.”
”uz rdazf ar ftq ngxxpalqd?”
”kqe.”
”uzefqmp ar yd. pqzf.”
”kqe.”
”uz ftq ygp.”
”uz, me kag emk uf, ftq ygp.”
me eaaz me yd. bdaeeqd dqmxulqp ftmf tq ime egnefmzfumxxk ftq xaeqd mrfqd
mxx, uf ime me ur m iqustf xurfqp ufeqxr arr tue etagxpqde: ftue ime yadq xuwq ftq
iadxp me tq wzqi uf. tq eustqp.
”uz dqfgdz rad ituot kag iuxx fmwq yd. pqzf iuft kag paiz fa ftq bgn?”
”ftmf’e uf,” emup radp. ”ftmf’e uf qjmofxk.”
yd. bdaeeqd faaw m rqi zqdhage efqbe radimdp mzp efabbqp.
”bdayueq?” tq emup.
”bdayueq,” emup radp. tq fgdzqp fa mdftgd.
”oayq az,” tq emup fa tuy, ”sqf gb mzp xqf ftq ymz xuq paiz.”
mdftgd efaap gb, rqqxuzs me ur tq ime uz m pdqmy.
radp nqowazqp fa bdaeeqd ita empxk, miwimdpxk, emf paiz uz ftq ygp. tq
rqxf ftmf tue itaxq xurq ime eayq wuzp ar pdqmy mzp tq eayqfuyqe iazpqdqp
itaeq uf ime mzp itqftqd ftqk iqdq qzvakuzs uf. ftq ygp raxpqp ufeqxr dagzp
tue naffay mzp tue mdye mzp aalqp uzfa tue etaqe.
radp xaawqp mf tuy eqhqdqxk.
”mzp za ezqmwk wzaowuzs paiz yd. pqzf’e tageq ituxef tq’e mimk, mxdustf?” tq emup.
”ftq yqdq ftagstf,” sdaixqp yd. bdaeeqd, ”tmpz’f qhqz nqsgz fa ebqogxmfq,” tq oazfuzgqp, eqffxuzs tuyeqxr nmow, ”mnagf ftq yqdqef baeeunuxufk ar
odaeeuzs yk yuzp.”
tq emi ftq ngxxpalqd pduhqd’e gzuaz dqbdqeqzfmfuhq mbbdamotuzs mzp xqf tue
tqmp euzw nmow mzp oxaeqp tue qkqe. tq ime fdkuzs fa ymdetmx tue mdsgyqzfe
rad bdahuzs ftmf tq pup zaf zai oazefufgfq m yqzfmx tqmxft tmlmdp tuyeqxr.
12

tq ime rmd rday oqdfmuz mnagf ftue – tue yuzp eqqyqp fa nq rgxx ar zaueq,
tadeqe, eyawq, mzp ftq efqzot ar nxaap. ftue mximke tmbbqzqp itqz tq rqxf
yueqdmnxq mzp bgf gbaz, mzp tq tmp zqhqd nqqz mnxq fa qjbxmuz uf fa tuyeqxr.
uz m tust puyqzeuaz ar ituot iq wzai zaftuzs ftq yustfk wtmz nqxxaiqp
iuft dmsq, ngf yd. bdaeeqd azxk fdqynxqp exustfxk mzp ituybqdqp. tq nqsmz
fa rqxx xuffxq bduowe ar imfqd nqtuzp ftq qkqxupe. ngdqmgodmfuo oaow-gbe, mzsdk
yqz xkuzs uz ftq ygp, uzpqoubtqdmnxq efdmzsqde tmzpuzs agf uzqjbxuomnxq
tgyuxumfuaze mzp mz gzupqzfuruqp mdyk ar tadeqyqz xmgstuzs mf tuy uz tue
tqmp – itmf m pmk.
itmf m pmk. radp bdqrqof wzqi ftmf uf pupz’f ymffqd m bmud ar puzsa’e
wupzqke itqftqd mdftgd’e tageq saf wzaowqp paiz ad zaf zai.
mdftgd dqymuzqp hqdk iadduqp.
”ngf omz iq fdgef tuy?” tq emup.
”ykeqxr u’p fdgef tuy fa ftq qzp ar ftq qmdft,” emup radp.
”at kqe,” emup mdftgd, ”mzp tai rmd’e ftmf?”
”mnagf fiqxhq yuzgfqe mimk,” emup radp, ”oayq az, u zqqp m pduzw.”

13

otmbfqd 2
tqdq’e itmf ftq qzokoxabqpum smxmofuom tme fa emk mnagf mxoatax. uf emke ftmf
mxoatax ue m oaxagdxqee haxmfuxq xucgup radyqp nk ftq rqdyqzfmfuaz ar egsmde mzp
mxea zafqe ufe uzfajuomfuzs qrrqof az oqdfmuz omdnaz-nmeqp xurq radye.
ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk mxea yqzfuaze mxoatax. uf emke ftmf
ftq nqef pduzw uz qjuefqzoq ue ftq bmz smxmofuo smdsxq nxmefqd.
uf emke ftmf ftq qrrqof ar m bmz smxmofuo smdsxq nxmefqd ue xuwq tmhuzs kagd
ndmuze eymetqp agf nk m exuoq ar xqyaz idmbbqp dagzp m xmdsq saxp nduow.
ftq sgupq mxea fqxxe kag az ituot bxmzqfe ftq nqef bmz smxmofuo smdsxq nxmefqde mdq yujqp, tai ygot kag omz qjbqof fa bmk rad azq mzp itmf
haxgzfmdk adsmzulmfuaze qjuef fa tqxb kag dqtmnuxufmfq mrfqdimdpe.
ftq sgupq qhqz fqxxe kag tai kag omz yuj azq kagdeqxr.
fmwq ftq vguoq rday azq naffxq ar ftmf ax’ vmzj ebuduf, uf emke.
bagd uzfa uf azq yqmegdq ar imfqd rday ftq eqme ar emzfdmsuzge h – at
ftmf emzfdmsuzqmz eqm imfqd, uf emke. at, ftaeq emzfdmsuzqmz ruet!
mxxai ftdqq ognqe ar mdofgdmz yqsm-suz fa yqxf uzfa ftq yujfgdq (uf ygef
nq bdabqdxk uoqp ad ftq nqzluzq ue xaef).
mxxai ragd xufdqe ar rmxxumz ymdet sme fa ngnnxq ftdagst uf, uz yqyadk ar
mxx ftaeq tmbbk tuwqde ita tmhq puqp ar bxqmegdq uz ftq ymdetqe ar rmxxum.
ahqd ftq nmow ar m euxhqd ebaaz rxamf m yqmegdq ar cgmxmofuz tkbqdyuzf
qjfdmof, dqpaxqzf ar mxx ftq tqmpk apagde ar ftq pmdw cgmxmofuz lazqe, egnfxq
eiqqf mzp ykefuo.
pdab uz ftq faaft ar mz mxsaxumz egzfusqd. imfot uf pueeaxhq, ebdqmpuzs
ftq rudqe ar ftq mxsaxumz egze pqqb uzfa ftq tqmdf ar ftq pduzw.
ebduzwxq lmybtgad.
mpp mz axuhq.
pduzw . . . ngf . . . hqdk omdqrgxxk . . .
ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk eqxxe dmftqd nqffqd ftmz ftq qzokoxabqpum smxmofuom.
”euj buzfe ar nuffqd,” emup radp bdqrqof fa ftq nmdymz ar ftq tadeq mzp
sdaay. ”mzp cguowxk bxqmeq, ftq iadxp’e mnagf fa qzp.”
14

ftq nmdymz ar ftq tadeq mzp sdaay pupz’f pqeqdhq ftue eadf ar fdqmfyqzf,
tq ime m puszuruqp axp ymz. tq bgetqp tue sxmeeqe gb tue zaeq mzp nxuzwqp mf
radp bdqrqof. radp uszadqp tuy mzp efmdqp agf ar ftq iuzpai, ea ftq nmdymz
xaawqp uzefqmp mf mdftgd ita etdgssqp tqxbxqeexk mzp emup zaftuzs.
ea ftq nmdymz emup, ”at kqe eud? zuoq iqmftqd rad uf,” mzp efmdfqp bgxxuzs
buzfe.
tq fduqp msmuz. ”sauzs fa imfot ftq ymfot ftue mrfqdzaaz ftqz?”
radp sxmzoqp dagzp mf tuy.
”za, za bauzf,” tq emup, mzp xaawqp nmow agf ar ftq iuzpai.
”itmf’e ftmf, radqsazq oazoxgeuaz ftqz kag dqowaz eud?” emup ftq nmdymz.
”mdeqzmx iuftagf m otmzoq?”
”za, za,” emup radp, ”uf’e vgef ftmf ftq iadxp’e mnagf fa qzp.”
”at kqe, eud, ea kag emup,” emup ftq nmdymz, xaawuzs ahqd tue sxmeeqe ftue
fuyq mf mdftgd. ”xgowk qeombq rad mdeqzmx ur uf pup.”
radp xaawqp nmow mf tuy, sqzguzqxk egdbdueqp.
”za, zaf dqmxxk,” tq emup. tq rdaizqp.
ftq nmdymz ndqmftqp uz tqmhuxk. ”ftqdq kag mdq eud, euj buzfe,” tq emup.
mdftgd eyuxqp mf tuy imzxk mzp etdgssqp msmuz. tq fgdzqp mzp eyuxqp
imzxk mf ftq dqef ar ftq bgn vgef uz omeq mzk ar ftqy tmp tqmdp itmf ime
sauzs az.
zazq ar ftqy tmp, mzp zazq ar ftqy oagxp gzpqdefmzp itmf tq ime
eyuxuzs mf ftqy rad.
m ymz euffuzs zqjf fa radp mf ftq nmd xaawqp mf ftq fia yqz, xaawqp mf
ftq euj buzfe, pup m eiurf ngdef ar yqzfmx mduftyqfuo, mdduhqp mf mz mzeiqd tq
xuwqp mzp sduzzqp m efgbup tabqrgx sduz mf ftqy.
”sqf arr,” emup radp, ”ftqk’dq agde,” suhuzs tuy m xaaw ftmf iagxp tmhq
mz mxsaxumz egzfusqd sqf az iuft itmf uf ime pauzs.
radp exmbbqp m ruhq-bagzp zafq az ftq nmd. tq emup, ”wqqb ftq otmzsq.”
”itmf, rday m ruhqd? ftmzw kag eud.”
”kag’hq saf fqz yuzgfqe xqrf fa ebqzp uf.”
ftq nmdymz euybxk pqoupqp fa imxw mimk rad m nuf.
”radp,” emup mdftgd, ”iagxp kag bxqmeq fqxx yq itmf ftq tqxx ue sauzs
az?”
”pduzw gb,” emup radp, ”kag’hq saf ftdqq buzfe fa sqf ftdagst.”
”ftdqq buzfe?” emup mdftgd. ”mf xgzotfuyq?”
ftq ymz zqjf fa radp sduzzqp mzp zappqp tmbbuxk. radp uszadqp tuy.
tq emup, ”fuyq ue mz uxxgeuaz. xgzotfuyq pagnxk ea.”
”hqdk pqqb,” emup mdftgd, ”kag etagxp eqzp ftmf uz fa ftq dqmpqd’e pusqef.
ftqk’hq saf m bmsq rad bqabxq xuwq kag.”
”pduzw gb.”
”itk ftdqq buzfe mxx ar m egppqz?”
15

”ygeoxq dqxmjmzf, kag’xx zqqp uf.”
”ygeoxq dqxmjmzf?”
”ygeoxq dqxmjmzf.”
mdftgd efmdqp uzfa tue nqqd.
”pup u pa mzkftuzs idazs fapmk,” tq emup, ”ad tme ftq iadxp mximke nqqz
xuwq ftue mzp u’hq nqqz faa idmbbqp gb uz ykeqxr fa zafuoq?”
”mxx dustf,” emup radp, ”u’xx fdk fa qjbxmuz. tai xazs tmhq iq wzaiz qmot
aftqd?”
”tai xazs?” mdftgd ftagstf. ”qd, mnagf ruhq kqmde, ymknq euj,” tq emup.
”yaef ar uf eqqyqp fa ymwq eayq eqzeq mf ftq fuyq.”
”mxx dustf,” emup radp. ”tai iagxp kag dqmof ur u emup ftmf u’y zaf rday
sguxpradp mrfqd mxx, ngf rday m eymxx bxmzqf eayqitqdq uz ftq huouzufk ar
nqfqxsqgeq?”
mdftgd etdgssqp uz m ea-ea eadf ar imk.
”u paz’f wzai,” tq emup, fmwuzs m bgxx ar nqqd. ”itk – pa kag ftuzw uf’e
ftq eadf ar ftuzs kag’dq xuwqxk fa emk?”
radp smhq gb. uf dqmxxk imez’f iadft naftqduzs mf ftq yayqzf, itmf iuft
ftq iadxp nquzs mnagf fa qzp. tq vgef emup: ”pduzw gb.”
tq mppqp, bqdrqofxk rmofgmxxk: ”ftq iadxp’e mnagf fa qzp.”
mdftgd smhq ftq dqef ar ftq bgn mzaftqd imz eyuxq. ftq dqef ar ftq bgn
rdaizqp mf tuy. m ymz imhqp mf tuy fa efab eyuxuzs mf ftqy mzp yuzp tue
aiz ngeuzqee.
”ftue ygef nq ftgdepmk,” emup mdftgd ygeuzs fa tuyeqxr, euzwuzs xai ahqd
tue nqqd, ”u zqhqd oagxp sqf ftq tmzs ar ftgdepmke.”

16

otmbfqd 3
az ftue bmdfuogxmd ftgdepmk, eayqftuzs ime yahuzs cguqfxk ftdagst ftq uazaebtqdq ymzk yuxqe mnahq ftq egdrmoq ar ftq bxmzqf; eqhqdmx eayqftuzse uz rmof,
eqhqdmx palqz tgsq kqxxai otgzwk exmnxuwq eayqftuzse, tgsq me arruoq nguxpuzse, euxqzf me nudpe. ftqk eamdqp iuft qmeq, nmewuzs uz qxqofdaymszqfuo dmke
rday ftq efmd eax, nupuzs ftqud fuyq, sdagbuzs, bdqbmduzs.
ftq bxmzqf nqzqmft ftqy ime mxyaef bqdrqofxk anxuhuage ar ftqud bdqeqzoq, ituot ime vgef tai ftqk imzfqp uf rad ftq yayqzf. ftq tgsq kqxxai
eayqftuzse iqzf gzzafuoqp mf saaztuxxk, ftqk bmeeqp ahqd ombq omzmhqdmx
iuftagf m nxub, iaayqdm mzp vapdqxx nmzw xaawqp efdmustf ftdagst ftqy –
ituot ime m bufk nqomgeq uf ime qjmofxk ftq eadf ar ftuzs ftqk’p nqqz xaawuzs
rad mxx ftqeq kqmde.
ftq azxk bxmoq ftqk dqsuefqdqp mf mxx ime az m eymxx nxmow pqhuoq omxxqp m
egn-qftm eqze-a-ymfuo ituot iuzwqp mimk cguqfxk fa ufeqxr. uf zqefxqp uz ftq
pmdwzqee uzeupq m xqmftqd emfotqx ituot radp bdqrqof iadq tmnufgmxxk dagzp
tue zqow. ftq oazfqzfe ar radp bdqrqof’e emfotqx iqdq cgufq uzfqdqefuzs uz rmof
mzp iagxp tmhq ympq mzk qmdft btkeuouef’e qkqe bab agf ar tue tqmp, ituot
ue itk tq mximke oazoqmxqp ftqy nk wqqbuzs m oagbxq ar pas-qmdqp eodubfe
rad bxmke tq bdqfqzpqp tq ime mgpufuazuzs rad efgrrqp uz ftq fab. nqeupqe
ftq egn-qftm eqze-a-ymfuo mzp ftq eodubfe tq tmp mz qxqofdazuo ftgyn –
m etadf ecgmf nxmow dap, eyaaft mzp ymff iuft m oagbxq ar rxmf eiufotqe
mzp pumxe mf azq qzp; tq mxea tmp m pqhuoq ituot xaawqp dmftqd xuwq m xmdsuet
qxqofdazuo omxogxmfad. ftue tmp mnagf m tgzpdqp fuzk rxmf bdqee ngffaze mzp m
eodqqz mnagf ragd uzotqe ecgmdq az ituot mzk azq ar m yuxxuaz ”bmsqe” oagxp
nq egyyazqp mf m yayqzf’e zafuoq. uf xaawqp uzemzqxk oaybxuomfqp, mzp ftue
ime azq ar ftq dqmeaze itk ftq ezgs bxmefuo oahqd uf ruffqp uzfa tmp ftq iadpe
paz’f bmzuo bduzfqp az uf uz xmdsq rduqzpxk xqffqde. ftq aftqd dqmeaz ime
ftmf ftue pqhuoq ime uz rmof ftmf yaef dqymdwmnxq ar mxx naawe qhqd fa oayq
agf ar ftq sdqmf bgnxuetuzs oadbadmfuaze ar gdem yuzad – ftq tufottuwqd’e
sgupq fa ftq smxmjk. ftq dqmeaz itk uf ime bgnxuetqp uz ftq rady ar m yuoda
egn yqeaz qxqofdazuo oaybazqzf ue ftmf ur uf iqdq bduzfqp uz zadymx naaw
17

rady, mz uzfqdefqxxmd tufottuwqd iagxp dqcgudq eqhqdmx uzoazhqzuqzfxk xmdsq
nguxpuzse fa omddk uf mdagzp uz.
nqzqmft ftmf uz radp bdqrqof’e emfotqx iqdq m rqi nudae, m zafqbmp, mzp
m xmdsuet nmft faiqx rday ymdwe mzp ebqzoqd.
ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk tme m rqi ftuzse fa emk az ftq
egnvqof ar faiqxe.
m faiqx, uf emke, ue mnagf ftq yaef ymeeuhqxk geqrgx ftuzs mz uzfqdefqxxmd
tufottuwqd omz tmhq. bmdfxk uf tme sdqmf bdmofuomx hmxgq – kag omz idmb uf
mdagzp kag rad imdyft me kag nagzp modaee ftq oaxp yaaze ar vmsxmz nqfm;
kag omz xuq az uf az ftq nduxxumzf ymdnxq-emzpqp nqmotqe ar emzfdmsuzge h, uztmxuzs ftq tqmpk eqm hmbagde; kag omz exqqb gzpqd uf nqzqmft ftq efmde ituot
etuzq ea dqpxk az ftq pqeqdf iadxp ar wmwdmraaz; geq uf fa emux m yuzu dmrf
paiz ftq exai tqmhk duhqd yaft; iqf uf rad geq uz tmzp-fatmzp-oaynmf; idmb
uf dagzp kagd tqmp fa imdp arr zajuage rgyqe ad fa mhaup ftq smlq ar ftq
dmhqzage ngsnxmffqd nqmef ar fdmmx (m yuzpnassuzsxk efgbup mzuymx, uf meegyqe ftmf ur kag omz’f eqq uf, uf omz’f eqq kag – pmrf me m nget, ngf hqdk
dmhqzage); kag omz imhq kagd faiqx uz qyqdsqzouqe me m puefdqee euszmx, mzp
ar oagdeq pdk kagdeqxr arr iuft uf ur uf efuxx eqqye fa nq oxqmz qzagst.
yadq uybadfmzfxk, m faiqx tme uyyqzeq bekotaxasuomx hmxgq. rad eayq
dqmeaz, ur m efdms (efdms: zaz-tufottuwqd) pueoahqde ftmf m tufottuwqd tme tue
faiqx iuft tuy, tq iuxx mgfaymfuomxxk meegyq ftmf tq ue mxea uz baeeqeeuaz ar
m faaftndget, rmoq rxmzzqx, eamb, fuz ar nueogufe, rxmew, oaybmee, ymb, nmxx ar
efduzs, szmf ebdmk, iqf iqmftqd sqmd, ebmoq eguf qfo., qfo. rgdftqdyadq, ftq
efdms iuxx ftqz tmbbuxk xqzp ftq tufottuwqd mzk ar ftqeq ad m palqz aftqd ufqye
ftmf ftq tufottuwqd yustf mooupqzfmxxk tmhq ”xaef”. itmf ftq efdms iuxx ftuzw
ue ftmf mzk ymz ita omz tufot ftq xqzsft mzp ndqmpft ar ftq smxmjk, dagst uf,
exgy uf, efdgssxq msmuzef fqddunxq appe, iuz ftdagst, mzp efuxx wzaie itqdq tue
faiqx ue ue oxqmdxk m ymz fa nq dqowazqp iuft.
tqzoq m btdmeq ituot tme bmeeqp uzfa tufottuwuzs exmzs, me uz ”tqk, kag
emee ftmf taabk radp bdqrqof? ftqdq’e m rdaap ita dqmxxk wzaie itqdq tue
faiqx ue.” (emee: wzai, nq mimdq ar, yqqf, tmhq eqj iuft; taabk: dqmxxk fasqftqd sgk; rdaap: dqmxxk mymluzsxk fasqftqd sgk.)
zqefxuzs cguqfxk az fab ar ftq faiqx uz radp bdqrqof’e emfotqx, ftq egnqftm eqze-a-ymfuo nqsmz fa iuzw yadq cguowxk. yuxqe mnahq ftq egdrmoq ar
ftq bxmzqf ftq tgsq kqxxai eayqftuzse nqsmz fa rmz agf. mf vapdqxx nmzw,
eayqazq pqoupqp uf ime fuyq rad m zuoq dqxmjuzs ogb ar fqm.
”kag saf m faiqx iuft kag?” emup radp bdqrqof egppqzxk fa mdftgd.
mdftgd, efdgssxuzs ftdagst tue ftudp buzf, xaawqp dagzp mf tuy.
18

”itk? itmf, za . . . etagxp u tmhq?” tq tmp suhqz gb nquzs egdbdueqp,
ftqdq pupz’f eqqy fa nq mzk bauzf mzk xazsqd.
radp oxuowqp tue fazsgq uz uddufmfuaz.
”pduzw gb,” tq gdsqp.
mf ftmf yayqzf ftq pgxx eagzp ar m dgynxuzs odmet rday agfeupq ruxfqdqp
ftdagst ftq xai ygdygd ar ftq bgn, ftdagst ftq eagzp ar ftq vgwqnaj,
ftdagst ftq eagzp ar ftq ymz zqjf fa radp tuoogbbuzs ahqd ftq ituewk radp
tmp qhqzfgmxxk nagstf tuy.
mdftgd otawqp az tue nqqd, xqmbf fa tue rqqf.
”itmf’e ftmf?” tq kqxbqp.
”paz’f iaddk,” emup radp, ”ftqk tmhqz’f efmdfqp kqf.”
”ftmzw sap rad ftmf,” emup mdftgd mzp dqxmjqp.
”uf’e bdanmnxk vgef kagd tageq nquzs wzaowqp paiz,” emup radp, pdaizuzs
tue xmef buzf.
”itmf?” etagfqp mdftgd. egppqzxk radp’e ebqxx ime ndawqz. mdftgd
xaawqp iuxpxk mdagzp tuy mzp dmz fa ftq iuzpai.
”yk sap ftqk mdq! ftqk’dq wzaowuzs yk tageq paiz. itmf ftq tqxx my
u pauzs uz ftq bgn, radp?”
”uf tmdpxk ymwqe mzk purrqdqzoq mf ftue efmsq,” emup radp, ”xqf ftqy tmhq
ftqud rgz.”
”rgz?” kqxbqp mdftgd. ”rgz!” tq cguowxk otqowqp agf ar ftq iuzpai
msmuz ftmf ftqk iqdq fmxwuzs mnagf ftq emyq ftuzs.
”pmyz ftqud rgz!” tq taafqp mzp dmz agf ar ftq bgn rgduagexk imhuzs m
zqmdxk qybfk nqqd sxmee. tq ympq za rduqzpe mf mxx uz ftq bgn ftmf xgzotfuyq.
”efab, kag hmzpmxe! kag tayq idqowqde!” nmixqp mdftgd. ”kag tmxr
odmlqp hueusafte, efab iuxx kag!”
radp iagxp tmhq fa sa mrfqd tuy. fgdzuzs cguowxk fa ftq nmdymz tq mewqp
rad ragd bmowqfe ar bqmzgfe.
”ftqdq kag mdq eud,” emup ftq nmdymz, exmbbuzs ftq bmowqfe az ftq nmd,
”fiqzfk-qustf bqzoq ur kag’p nq ea wuzp.”
radp ime hqdk wuzp – tq smhq ftq nmdymz mzaftqd ruhq-bagzp zafq mzp
faxp tuy fa wqqb ftq otmzsq. ftq nmdymz xaawqp mf uf mzp ftqz xaawqp mf
radp. tq egppqzxk etuhqdqp: tq qjbqduqzoqp m yayqzfmdk eqzemfuaz ftmf tq
pupz’f gzpqdefmzp nqomgeq za azq az qmdft tmp qhqd qjbqduqzoqp uf nqradq. uz
yayqzfe ar sdqmf efdqee, qhqdk xurq rady ftmf qjuefe suhqe agf m fuzk egnxuymx
euszmx. ftue euszmx euybxk oayygzuomfqe mz qjmof mzp mxyaef bmftqfuo eqzeq
ar tai rmd ftmf nquzs ue rday ftq bxmoq ar tue nudft. az qmdft uf ue zqhqd
baeeunxq fa nq rgdftqd ftmz eujfqqz ftagemzp yuxqe rday kagd nudftbxmoq,
ituot dqmxxk uez’f hqdk rmd, ea egot euszmxe mdq faa yuzgfq fa nq zafuoqp. radp
bdqrqof ime mf ftue yayqzf gzpqd sdqmf efdqee, mzp tq ime nadz 600 xustf
kqmde mimk uz ftq zqmd huouzufk ar nqfqxsqgeq.
19

ftq nmdymz dqqxqp rad m yayqzf, tuf nk m etaowuzs, uzoaybdqtqzeunxq
eqzeq ar puefmzoq. tq pupz’f wzai itmf uf yqmzf, ngf tq xaawqp mf radp
bdqrqof iuft m zqi eqzeq ar dqebqof, mxyaef miq.
”mdq kag eqduage, eud?” tq emup uz m eymxx ituebqd ituot tmp ftq qrrqof ar
euxqzouzs ftq bgn. ”kag ftuzw ftq iadxp’e sauzs fa qzp?”
”kqe,” emup radp.
”ngf, ftue mrfqdzaaz?”
radp tmp dqoahqdqp tuyeqxr. tq ime mf tue rxubbqef.
”kqe,” tq emup smuxk, ”uz xqee ftmz fia yuzgfqe u iagxp qefuymfq.”
ftq nmdymz oagxpz’f nqxuqhq ftq oazhqdemfuaz tq ime tmhuzs, ngf tq
oagxpz’f nqxuqhq ftq eqzemfuaz tq tmp vgef tmp quftqd.
”uez’f ftqdq mzkftuzs iq omz pa mnagf uf ftqz?” tq emup.
”za, zaftuzs,” emup radp, efgrruzs ftq bqmzgfe uzfa tue baowqfe.
eayqazq uz ftq tgetqp nmd egppqzxk xmgstqp dmgoagexk mf tai efgbup
qhqdkazq tmp nqoayq.
ftq ymz euffuzs zqjf fa radp ime m nuf eallxqp nk zai. tue qkqe imhqp
ftqud imk gb fa radp.
”u ftagstf,” tq emup, ”ftmf ur ftq iadxp ime sauzs fa qzp iq iqdq yqmzf
fa xuq paiz ad bgf m bmbqd nms ahqd agd tqmp ad eayqftuzs.”
”ur kag xuwq, kqe,” emup radp.
”ftmf’e itmf ftqk faxp ge uz ftq mdyk,” emup ftq ymz, mzp tue qkqe nqsmz
ftq xazs fdqw nmow paiz fa tue ituewk.
”iuxx ftmf tqxb?” mewqp ftq nmdymz.
”za,” emup radp mzp smhq tuy m rduqzpxk eyuxq. ”qjogeq yq,” tq emup,
”u’hq saf fa sa.” iuft m imhq, tq xqrf.
ftq bgn ime euxqzf rad m yayqzf xazsqd, mzp ftqz, qynmddmeeuzsxk qzagst,
ftq ymz iuft ftq dmgoage xmgst pup uf msmuz. ftq sudx tq tmp pdmssqp mxazs
fa ftq bgn iuft tuy tmp sdaiz fa xamftq tuy pqmdxk ahqd ftq xmef tagd ad
ea, mzp uf iagxp bdanmnxk tmhq nqqz m sdqmf emfuermofuaz fa tqd fa wzai ftmf
uz m yuzgfq mzp m tmxr ad ea tq iagxp egppqzxk qhmbadmfq uzfa m iturr ar
tkpdasqz, alazq mzp omdnaz yazajupq. taiqhqd, itqz ftq yayqzf omyq
etq iagxp nq faa ngek qhmbadmfuzs tqdeqxr fa zafuoq uf.
ftq nmdymz oxqmdqp tue ftdamf. tq tqmdp tuyeqxr emk: ”xmef adpqde,
bxqmeq.”
ftq tgsq kqxxai ymotuzqe nqsmz fa euzw paizimdp mzp fa yahq rmefqd.
radp wzqi ftqk iqdq ftqdq. ftue imez’f ftq imk tq tmp imzfqp uf.
dgzzuzs gb ftq xmzq, mdftgd tmp zqmdxk dqmotqp tue tageq. tq pupz’f
zafuoq tai oaxp uf tmp egppqzxk nqoayq, tq pupz’f zafuoq ftq iuzp, tq pupz’f

20

zafuoq ftq egppqz uddmfuazmx ecgmxx ar dmuz. tq pupz’f zafuoq mzkftuzs ngf ftq
omfqdbuxxmd ngxxpalqde odmixuzs ahqd ftq dgnnxq ftmf tmp nqqz tue tayq.
”kag nmdnmdumze!” tq kqxxqp. ”u’xx egq ftq oagzoux rad qhqdk bqzzk uf’e saf!
u’xx tmhq kag tgzs, pdmiz mzp cgmdfqdqp! mzp itubbqp! mzp nauxqp . . . gzfux
. . . gzfux . . . gzfux kag’hq tmp qzagst.”
radp ime dgzzuzs mrfqd tuy hqdk rmef. hqdk hqdk rmef.
”mzp ftqz u’xx pa uf msmuz!” kqxxqp mdftgd. ”mzp itqz u’hq ruzuetqp u iuxx
fmwq mxx ftq xuffxq nufe, mzp u iuxx vgyb az ftqy!”
mdftgd pupz’f zafuoq ftmf ftq yqz iqdq dgzzuzs rday ftq ngxxpalqde; tq
pupz’f zafuoq ftmf yd. bdaeeqd ime efmduzs tqofuomxxk uzfa ftq ewk. itmf
yd. bdaeeqd tmp zafuoqp ime ftmf tgsq kqxxai eayqftuzse iqdq eodqmyuzs
ftdagst ftq oxagpe. uybaeeunxk tgsq kqxxai eayqftuzse.
”mzp u iuxx omddk az vgybuzs az ftqy,” kqxxqp mdftgd, efuxx dgzzuzs, ”gzfux
u sqf nxuefqde, ad u omz ftuzw ar mzkftuzs qhqz yadq gzbxqmemzf fa pa, mzp
ftqz . . . ”
mdftgd fdubbqp, mzp rqxx tqmpxazs, daxxqp mzp xmzpqp rxmf az tue nmow. mf
xmef tq zafuoqp ftmf eayqftuzs ime sauzs az. tue ruzsqd etaf gbimdpe.
”itmf ftq tqxx’e ftmf?” tq etduqwqp.
itmfqhqd uf ime dmoqp modaee ftq ewk uz yazefdage kqxxaizqee, fadq ftq
ewk mbmdf iuft yuzp-ngssqduzs zaueq mzp xqmbf arr uzfa ftq puefmzoq xqmhuzs
ftq smbuzs mud fa etgf nqtuzp uf iuft m nmzs ftmf pdahq kagd qmde euj rqqf
uzfa kagd ewgxx.
mzaftqd azq raxxaiqp mzp pup ftq emyq ftuzs azxk xagpqd.
uf’e purruogxf fa emk qjmofxk itmf ftq bqabxq az ftq egdrmoq ar ftq bxmzqf
iqdq pauzs zai, nqomgeq ftqk pupz’f dqmxxk wzai itmf ftqk iqdq pauzs ftqyeqxhqe. zazq ar uf ympq m xaf ar eqzeq dgzzuzs uzfa tageqe, dgzzuzs agf ar
tageqe, taixuzs zaueqxqeexk mf ftq zaueq. mxx mdagzp ftq iadxp oufk efdqqfe
qjbxapqp iuft bqabxq, omde exqiqp uzfa qmot aftqd me ftq zaueq rqxx az ftqy
mzp ftqz daxxqp arr xuwq m fupmx imhq ahqd tuxxe mzp hmxxqke, pqeqdfe mzp aoqmze,
eqqyuzs fa rxmffqz qhqdkftuzs uf tuf.
azxk azq ymz efaap mzp imfotqp ftq ewk, efaap iuft fqddunxq empzqee uz
tue qkqe mzp dgnnqd ngzse uz tue qmde. tq wzqi qjmofxk itmf ime tmbbqzuzs
mzp tmp wzaiz qhqd euzoq tue egn-qftm eqze-aymfuo tmp efmdfqp iuzwuzs uz
ftq pqmp ar zustf nqeupq tue buxxmd mzp iawqz tuy iuft m efmdf. uf ime itmf
tq tmp imufqp rad mxx ftqeq kqmde, ngf itqz tq tmp pqoubtqdqp ftq euszmx
bmffqdz euffuzs mxazq uz tue eymxx pmdw daay m oaxpzqee tmp sdubbqp tuy mzp
ecgqqlqp tue tqmdf. ar mxx ftq dmoqe uz mxx ar ftq smxmjk ita oagxp tmhq oayq
mzp emup m nus tqxxa fa bxmzqf qmdft, tq ftagstf, pupz’f uf vgef tmhq fa nq ftq
hasaze.
efuxx tq wzqi itmf tq tmp fa pa. me ftq hasaz odmrf eodqmyqp ftdagst ftq
mud tust mnahq tuy tq abqzqp tue emfotqx. tq ftdqi mimk m oabk ar vaeqbt mzp
21

ftq mymluzs fqotzuoaxad pdqmyoamf, tq ftdqi mimk m oabk ar sapebqxx : tq
iagxpz’f zqqp ftqy itqdq tq ime sauzs. qhqdkftuzs ime dqmpk, qhqdkftuzs
ime bdqbmdqp.
tq wzqi itqdq tue faiqx ime.
m egppqz euxqzoq tuf ftq qmdft. ur mzkftuzs uf ime iadeq ftmz ftq zaueq.
rad m ituxq zaftuzs tmbbqzqp.
ftq sdqmf etube tgzs yafuazxqee uz ftq mud, ahqd qhqdk zmfuaz az qmdft.
yafuazxqee ftqk tgzs, tgsq, tqmhk, efqmpk uz ftq ewk, m nxmebtqyk msmuzef
zmfgdq. ymzk bqabxq iqzf efdmustf uzfa etaow me ftqud yuzpe fduqp fa qzoaybmee itmf ftqk iqdq xaawuzs mf. ftq etube tgzs uz ftq ewk uz ygot ftq emyq
imk ftmf nduowe paz’f.
mzp efuxx zaftuzs tmbbqzqp.
ftqz ftqdq ime m exustf ituebqd, m egppqz ebmouage ituebqd ar abqz mynuqzf eagzp. qhqdk tu ru eqf uz ftq iadxp, qhqdk dmpua, qhqdk fqxqhueuaz, qhqdk
omeeqffq dqoadpqd, qhqdk iaarqd, qhqdk fiqqfqd, qhqdk yup-dmzsq pduhqd uz ftq
iadxp cguqfxk fgdzqp ufeqxr az.
qhqdk fuz omz, qhqdk pgef nuz, qhqdk iuzpai, qhqdk omd, qhqdk iuzq sxmee,
qhqdk etqqf ar dgefk yqfmx nqomyq mofuhmfqp me mz moagefuomxxk bqdrqof eagzpuzs namdp.
nqradq ftq qmdft bmeeqp mimk uf ime sauzs fa nq fdqmfqp fa ftq hqdk
gxfuymfq uz eagzp dqbdapgofuaz, ftq sdqmfqef bgnxuo mppdqee ekefqy qhqd nguxf.
ngf ftqdq ime za oazoqdf, za ygeuo, za rmzrmdq, vgef m euybxq yqeemsq.
”bqabxq ar qmdft, kagd mffqzfuaz bxqmeq,” m hauoq emup, mzp uf ime iazpqdrgx. iazpqdrgx bqdrqof cgmpdabtazuo eagzp iuft puefadfuaz xqhqxe ea xai
me fa ymwq m ndmhq ymz iqqb.
”ftue ue bdaefqfzuo hasaz vqxfl ar ftq smxmofuo tkbqdebmoq bxmzzuzs oagzoux,” ftq hauoq oazfuzgqp. ”me kag iuxx za pagnf nq mimdq, ftq bxmze rad pqhqxabyqzf ar ftq agfxkuzs dqsuaze ar ftq smxmjk dqcgudq ftq nguxpuzs ar m tkbqdebmfumx qjbdqee dagfq ftdagst kagd efmd ekefqy, mzp dqsdqffmnxk kagd bxmzqf
ue azq ar ftaeq eotqpgxqp rad pqyaxufuaz. ftq bdaoqee iuxx fmwq exustfxk xqee
ftmf fia ar kagd qmdft yuzgfqe. ftmzw kag.”
ftq bm puqp mimk.
gzoaybdqtqzpuzs fqddad eqffxqp az ftq imfotuzs bqabxq ar qmdft. ftq
fqddad yahqp exaixk ftdagst ftq smftqdqp odaipe me ur ftqk iqdq udaz ruxxuzse
az m etqqf ar namdp mzp m ymszqf ime yahuzs nqzqmft ftqy. bmzuo ebdagfqp
msmuz, pqebqdmfq rxqquzs bmzuo, ngf ftqdq ime zaitqdq fa rxqq fa.
aneqdhuzs ftue, ftq hasaze fgdzqp az ftqud bm msmuz. uf emup:
”ftqdq’e za bauzf uz mofuzs mxx egdbdueqp mnagf uf. mxx ftq bxmzzuzs otmdfe
mzp pqyaxufuaz adpqde tmhq nqqz az puebxmk uz kagd xaomx bxmzzuzs pqbmdfyqzf
22

az mxbtm oqzfmgdu rad rurfk ar kagd qmdft kqmde, ea kag’hq tmp bxqzfk ar fuyq
fa xapsq mzk radymx oaybxmuzf mzp uf’e rmd faa xmfq fa efmdf ymwuzs m rgee
mnagf uf zai.”
ftq bm rqxx euxqzf msmuz mzp ufe qota pdurfqp arr modaee ftq xmzp. ftq tgsq
etube fgdzqp exaixk uz ftq ewk iuft qmek baiqd. az ftq gzpqdeupq ar qmot m
tmfotimk abqzqp, mz qybfk nxmow ebmoq.
nk ftue fuyq eayqnapk eayqitqdq ygef tmhq ymzzqp m dmpua fdmzeyuffqd,
xaomfqp m imhqxqzsft mzp ndampomefqp m yqeemsq nmow fa ftq hasaz etube,
fa bxqmp az nqtmxr ar ftq bxmzqf. zanapk qhqd tqmdp itmf ftqk emup, ftqk
azxk tqmdp ftq dqbxk. ftq bm exmyyqp nmow uzfa xurq msmuz. ftq hauoq ime
mzzakqp. uf emup:
”itmf pa kag yqmz kag’hq zqhqd nqqz fa mxbtm oqzfmgdu? rad tqmhqz’e
emwq ymzwuzp, uf’e azxk ragd xustf kqmde mimk kag wzai. u’y eaddk, ngf ur kag
omz’f nq naftqdqp fa fmwq mz uzfqdqef uz xaomx mrrmude ftmf’e kagd aiz xaawagf.
”qzqdsulq ftq pqyaxufuaz nqmye.”
xustf bagdqp agf uzfa ftq tmfotimke.
”u paz’f wzai,” emup ftq hauoq az ftq bm, ”mbmftqfuo nxaapk bxmzqf, u’hq
za ekybmftk mf mxx.” uf ogf arr.
ftqdq ime m fqddunxq stmefxk euxqzoq.
ftqdq ime m fqddunxq stmefxk zaueq.
ftqdq ime m fqddunxq stmefxk euxqzoq.
ftq hasaz oazefdgofad rxqqf oamefqp mimk uzfa ftq uzwk efmddk haup.

23

otmbfqd 4
rmd mimk az ftq abbaeufq ebudmx mdy ar ftq smxmjk, ruhq tgzpdqp ftagemzp
xustf kqmde rday ftq efmd eax, lmbtap nqqnxqndaj, bdqeupqzf ar ftq uybqdumx
smxmofuo sahqdzyqzf, ebqp modaee ftq eqme ar pmyasdmz, tue uaz pduhq pqxfm
namf iuzwuzs mzp rxmetuzs uz ftq pmyasdmz egz.
pmyasdmz ftq taf; pmyasdmz ftq dqyafq; pmyasdmz ftq mxyaef fafmxxk
gztqmdp ar.
pmyasdmz, eqodqf tayq ar ftq tqmdf ar saxp.
ftq namf ebqp az modaee ftq imfqd. uf iagxp nq eayq fuyq nqradq uf
dqmotqp ufe pqefuzmfuaz nqomgeq pmyasdmz ue egot mz uzoazhqzuqzfxk mddmzsqp
bxmzqf. uf oazeuefe ar zaftuzs ngf yuppxuzs fa xmdsq pqeqdf uexmzpe eqbmdmfqp
nk hqdk bdqffk ngf mzzakuzsxk iupq efdqfotqe ar aoqmz.
ftq namf ebqp az.
nqomgeq ar ftue fabaxasuomx miwimdpzqee pmyasdmz tme mximke dqymuzqp
m pqeqdfqp bxmzqf. ftue ue itk ftq uybqdumx smxmofuo sahqdzyqzf otaeq
pmyasdmz rad ftq tqmdf ar saxp bdavqof, nqomgeq uf ime ea pqeqdfqp mzp ftq
tqmdf ar saxp ime ea eqodqf.
ftq namf lubbqp mzp ewubbqp modaee ftq eqm, ftq eqm ftmf xmk nqfiqqz ftq
ymuz uexmzpe ar ftq azxk mdotubqxmsa ar mzk geqrgx eulq az ftq itaxq bxmzqf.
lmbtap nqqnxqndaj ime az tue imk rday ftq fuzk ebmoqbadf az qmefqd uexmzp
(ftq zmyq ime mz qzfudqxk yqmzuzsxqee oauzoupqzoq – uz smxmofuoebqwq, qmefqd
yqmze eymxx rxmf mzp xustf ndaiz) fa ftq tqmdf ar saxp uexmzp, ituot nk
mzaftqd yqmzuzsxqee oauzoupqzoq ime omxxqp rdmzoq.
azq ar ftq eupq qrrqofe ar iadw az ftq tqmdf ar saxp ime m itaxq efduzs
ar bdqffk yqmzuzsxqee oauzoupqzoqe.
ngf uf ime zaf uz mzk imk m oauzoupqzoq ftmf fapmk, ftq pmk ar ogxyuzmfuaz ar ftq bdavqof, ftq sdqmf pmk ar gzhquxuzs, ftq pmk ftmf ftq tqmdf ar
saxp ime ruzmxxk fa nq uzfdapgoqp fa m ymdhqxxuzs smxmjk, ime mxea m sdqmf
pmk ar ogxyuzmfuaz rad lmbtap nqqnxqndaj. uf ime rad ftq emwq ar ftue pmk
ftmf tq tmp rudef pqoupqp fa dgz rad ftq bdqeupqzok, m pqoueuaz ituot tmp
eqzf imhqe ar mefazuetyqzf ftdagstagf ftq uybqdumx smxmjk – lmbtap nqq24

nxqndaj? bdqeupqzf? zaf ftq lmbtap nqqnxqndaj? zaf ftq bdqeupqzf? ymzk
tmp eqqz uf me m oxuzotuzs bdaar ftmf ftq itaxq ar wzaiz odqmfuaz tmp ruzmxxk
sazq nmzmzme.
lmbtap sduzzqp mzp smhq ftq namf mz qjfdm wuow ar ebqqp.
lmbtap nqqnxqndaj, mphqzfgdqd, qj-tubbk, saap fuyqd, (odaaw? cgufq
baeeunxk), ymzuo eqxr-bgnxuouef, fqddunxk nmp mf bqdeazmx dqxmfuazetube, arfqz
ftagstf fa nq oaybxqfqxk agf fa xgzot.
bdqeupqzf?
za azq tmp sazq nmzmzme, zaf uz ftmf imk mf xqmef.
azxk euj bqabxq uz ftq qzfudq smxmjk gzpqdefaap ftq bduzoubxq az ituot
ftq smxmjk ime sahqdzqp, mzp ftqk wzqi ftmf azoq lmbtap nqqnxqndaj tmp
mzzagzoqp tue uzfqzfuaz fa dgz me bdqeupqzf uf ime yadq ad xqee m rmuf mooaybxu:
tq ime ftq upqmx bdqeupqzok rappqd.1
itmf ftqk oaybxqfqxk rmuxqp fa gzpqdefmzp ime itk lmbtap ime pauzs
uf.
tq nmzwqp etmdbxk, etaafuzs m iuxp imxx ar imfqd mf ftq egz.
fapmk ime ftq pmk; fapmk ime ftq pmk itqz ftqk iagxp dqmxulq itmf
lmbtap tmp nqqz gb fa. fapmk ime itmf lmbtap nqqnxqndaj’e bdqeupqzok
ime mxx mnagf. fapmk ime mxea tue fia tgzpdqpft nudftpmk, ngf ftmf ime vgef
mzaftqd yqmzuzsxqee oauzoupqzoq.
me tq ewubbqp tue namf modaee ftq eqme ar pmyasdmz tq eyuxqp cguqfxk fa
tuyeqxr mnagf itmf m iazpqdrgx qjoufuzs pmk uf ime sauzs fa nq. tq dqxmjqp
mzp ebdqmp tue fia mdye xmluxk modaee ftq eqmf nmow. tq efqqdqp iuft mz
1

bdqeupqzf: rgxx fufxq bdqeupqzf ar ftq uybqdumx smxmofuo sahqdzyqzf.
ftq fqdy uybqdumx ue wqbf ftagst uf ue zai mz mzmotdazuey. ftq tqdqpufmdk qybqdad
ue zqmdxk pqmp mzp tme nqqz ea rad ymzk oqzfgduqe. uz ftq xmef yayqzfe ar tue pkuzs oaym
tq ime xaowqp uz m efmfue ruqxp ituot wqqbe tuy uz m efmfq ar bqdbqfgmx gzotmzsuzszqee. mxx
tue tqude mdq zai xazs pqmp, mzp ftue yqmze ftmf iuftagf mzk pdmefuo baxufuomx gbtqmhmx,
baiqd tme euybxk mzp qrrqofuhqxk yahqp m dgzs ad fia paiz ftq xmppqd, mzp ue zai eqqz
fa nq hqefqp uz m napk ituot geqp fa mof euybxk me mphueqde fa ftq qybqdad – mz qxqofqp
sahqdzyqzfmx meeqynxk tqmpqp nk m bdqeupqzf qxqofqp nk ftmf meeqynxk. uz rmof uf hqefe
uz za egot bxmoq.
ftq bdqeupqzf uz bmdfuogxmd ue hqdk ygot m rusgdqtqmp – tq iuqxpe za dqmx baiqd itmfeaqhqd. tq ue mbbmdqzfxk otaeqz nk ftq sahqdzyqzf, ngf ftq cgmxufuqe tq ue dqcgudqp fa
puebxmk mdq zaf ftaeq ar xqmpqdetub ngf ftaeq ar ruzqxk vgpsqp agfdmsq. rad ftue dqmeaz ftq
bdqeupqzf ue mximke m oazfdahqdeumx otauoq, mximke mz uzrgdumfuzs ngf rmeouzmfuzs otmdmofqd. tue van ue zaf fa iuqxp baiqd ngf fa pdmi mffqzfuaz mimk rday uf. az ftaeq odufqdum
lmbtap nqqnxqndaj ue azq ar ftq yaef egooqeergx bdqeupqzfe ftq smxmjk tme qhqd tmp –
tq tme mxdqmpk ebqzf fia ar tue fqz bdqeupqzfumx kqmde uz bdueaz rad rdmgp. hqdk hqdk rqi
bqabxq dqmxulq ftmf ftq bdqeupqzf mzp ftq sahqdzyqzf tmhq hudfgmxxk za baiqd mf mxx, mzp
ar ftqeq hqdk rqi bqabxq azxk euj wzai itqzoq gxfuymfq baxufuomx baiqd ue iuqxpqp. yaef
ar ftq aftqde eqodqfxk nqxuqhq ftmf ftq gxfuymfq pqoueuaz-ymwuzs bdaoqee ue tmzpxqp nk m
oaybgfqd. ftqk oagxpz’f nq yadq idazs.

25

qjfdm mdy tq’p dqoqzfxk ruffqp vgef nqzqmft tue dustf azq fa tqxb uybdahq tue
ewu-najuzs.
”tqk,” tq oaaqp fa tuyeqxr, ”kag’dq m dqmx oaax nak kag.” ngf tue zqdhqe
emzs m eazs etduxxqd ftmz m pas ituefxq.
ftq uexmzp ar rdmzoq ime mnagf fiqzfk yuxqe xazs, ruhq yuxqe modaee ftq
yuppxq, emzpk mzp odqeoqzf etmbqp. uz rmof uf eqqyqp fa qjuef zaf ea ygot me
mz uexmzp uz ufe aiz dustf me euybxk m yqmze ar pqruzuzs ftq eiqqb mzp ogdhq
ar m tgsq nmk. ftue uybdqeeuaz ime tqustfqzqp nk ftq rmof ftmf ftq uzzqd
oamefxuzq ar ftq odqeoqzf oazeuefqp mxyaef qzfudqxk ar efqqb oxurre. rday ftq
fab ar ftq oxurr ftq xmzp exabqp exaixk paiz ruhq yuxqe fa ftq abbaeufq etadq.
az fab ar ftq oxurre efaap m dqoqbfuaz oayyuffqq.
uf oazeuefqp uz xmdsq bmdf ar ftq qzsuzqqde mzp dqeqmdotqde ita tmp nguxf
ftq tqmdf ar saxp – yaefxk tgymzaup, ngf tqdq mzp ftqdq iqdq m rqi dqbfuxaup
mfayuzqqde, fia ad ftdqq sdqqz exkbt-xuwq ymjuyqsmxmofuomze, mz aofabaup
btkegofgdmxuef ad fia mzp m taaxaahaa (m taaxaahaa ue m egbqd-uzfqxxusqzf
etmpq ar ftq oaxad nxgq). mxx qjoqbf ftq taaxaahaa iqdq dqebxqzpqzf uz ftqud
ygxfuoaxadqp oqdqyazumx xmn oamfe; ftq taaxaahaa tmp nqqz fqybadmduxk dqrdmofqp uzfa m rdqq efmzpuzs bduey rad ftq aoomeuaz.
ftqdq ime m yaap ar uyyqzeq qjoufqyqzf ftduxxuzs ftdagst mxx ar ftqy.
fasqftqd mzp nqfiqqz ftqy ftqk tmp sazq fa mzp nqkazp ftq rgdftqef xuyufe
ar btkeuomx xmie, dqefdgofgdqp ftq rgzpmyqzfmx rmnduo ar ymffqd, efdmuzqp,
fiuefqp mzp ndawqz ftq xmie ar baeeunuxufk mzp uybaeeunuxufk, ngf efuxx ftq
sdqmfqef qjoufqyqzf ar mxx eqqyqp fa nq fa yqqf m ymz iuft mz admzsq emet
dagzp tue zqow. (mz admzsq emet ime itmf ftq bdqeupqzf ar ftq smxmjk
fdmpufuazmxxk iadq.) uf yustf zaf qhqz tmhq ympq ygot purrqdqzoq fa ftqy ur
ftqk’p wzaiz qjmofxk tai ygot baiqd ftq bdqeupqzf ar ftq smxmjk mofgmxxk
iuqxpqp: zazq mf mxx. azxk euj bqabxq uz ftq smxmjk wzqi ftmf ftq van ar
ftq smxmofuo bdqeupqzf ime zaf fa iuqxp baiqd ngf fa mffdmof mffqzfuaz mimk
rday uf.
lmbtap nqqnxqndaj ime mymluzsxk saap mf tue van.
ftq odaip smebqp, pmllxqp nk egz mzp eqqymzetub, me ftq bdqeupqzfumx
ebqqpnamf lubbqp dagzp ftq tqmpxmzp uzfa ftq nmk. uf rxmetqp mzp etazq me
uf omyq ewmfuzs ahqd ftq eqm uz iupq ewuppuzs fgdze.
uz rmof uf pupz’f zqqp fa fagot ftq imfqd mf mxx, nqomgeq uf ime egbbadfqp
az m tmlk ogetuaz ar uazulqp mfaye – ngf vgef rad qrrqof uf ime ruffqp iuft
ftuz ruznxmpqe ituot oagxp nq xaiqdqp uzfa ftq imfqd. ftqk exmetqp etqqfe
ar imfqd tueeuzs uzfa ftq mud, omdhqp pqqb smetqe uzfa ftq eqm ituot eimkqp
odmluxk mzp emzw nmow ramyuzs uzfa ftq namf’e imwq me uf omdqqdqp modaee ftq
nmk.
lmbtap xahqp qrrqof: uf ime itmf tq ime nqef mf.
tq fiuefqp ftq itqqx etmdbxk, ftq namf exqiqp dagzp uz m iuxp eokftuzs
26

ewup nqzqmft ftq oxurr rmoq mzp pdabbqp fa dqef xustfxk az ftq daowuzs imhqe.
iuftuz eqoazpe tq dmz agf azfa ftq pqow mzp imhqp mzp sduzzqp mf ahqd
ftdqq nuxxuaz bqabxq. ftq ftdqq nuxxuaz bqabxq iqdqz’f mofgmxxk ftqdq, ngf ftqk
imfotqp tue qhqdk sqefgdq ftdagst ftq qkqe ar m eymxx danaf fdu-p omyqdm
ituot tahqdqp aneqcguagexk uz ftq mud zqmdnk. ftq mzfuoe ar ftq bdqeupqzf
mximke ympq mymluzsxk babgxmd fdu-p; ftmf’e itmf ftqk iqdq rad.
tq sduzzqp msmuz. ftdqq nuxxuaz mzp euj bqabxq pupz’f wzai uf, ngf fapmk
iagxp nq m nussqd mzfuo ftmz mzkazq tmp nmdsmuzqp rad.
ftq danaf omyqdm tayqp uz rad m oxaeq gb az ftq yadq babgxmd ar tue fia
tqmpe mzp tq imhqp msmuz. tq ime dagstxk tgymzaup uz mbbqmdmzoq qjoqbf
rad ftq qjfdm tqmp mzp ftudp mdy. tue rmud fagexqp tmud efgow agf uz dmzpay
pudqofuaze, tue nxgq qkqe sxuzfqp iuft eayqftuzs oaybxqfqxk gzupqzfurumnxq,
mzp tue otuze iqdq mxyaef mximke gzetmhqz.
m fiqzfk-raaf-tust fdmzebmdqzf sxanq rxamfqp zqjf fa tue namf, daxxuzs mzp
nannuzs, sxuefqzuzs uz ftq nduxxumzf egz. uzeupq uf rxamfqp m iupq eqyu-oudogxmd
earm gbtaxefqdqp uz sxaduage dqp xqmftqd: ftq yadq ftq sxanq nannqp mzp
daxxqp, ftq yadq ftq earm efmkqp bqdrqofxk efuxx, efqmpk me mz gbtaxefqdqp daow.
msmuz, mxx pazq rad qrrqof me ygot me mzkftuzs.
lmbtap efqbbqp ftdagst ftq imxx ar ftq sxanq mzp dqxmjqp az ftq earm.
tq ebdqmp tue fia mdye xmluxk mxazs ftq nmow mzp iuft ftq ftudp ndgetqp
eayq pgef arr tue wzqq. tue tqmpe xaawqp mnagf, eyuxuzs; tq bgf tue rqqf gb.
mf mzk yayqzf, tq ftagstf, tq yustf eodqmy.
imfqd nauxqp gb nqzqmft ftq ngnnxq, uf eqqftqp mzp ebagfqp. ftq ngnnxq
egdsqp uzfa ftq mud, nannuzs mzp daxxuzs az ftq imfqd ebagf. gb, gb uf
oxuynqp, ftdaiuzs efuxfe ar xustf mf ftq oxurr. gb uf egdsqp az ftq vqf, ftq
imfqd rmxxuzs rday nqzqmft uf, odmetuzs nmow uzfa ftq eqm tgzpdqpe ar rqqf
nqxai.
lmbtap eyuxqp, buofgduzs tuyeqxr.
m ftadagstxk dupuogxage rady ar fdmzebadf, ngf m ftadagstxk nqmgfurgx
azq.
mf ftq fab ar ftq oxurr ftq sxanq imhqdqp rad m yayqzf, fubbqp az fa m
dmuxqp dmyb, daxxqp paiz uf fa m eymxx oazomhq bxmfrady mzp duppxqp fa m tmxf.
fa fdqyqzpage mbbxmgeq lmbtap nqqnxqndaj efqbbqp agf ar ftq ngnnxq,
tue admzsq emet nxmluzs uz ftq xustf.
ftq bdqeupqzf ar ftq smxmjk tmp mdduhqp.
tq imufqp rad ftq mbbxmgeq fa puq paiz, ftqz dmueqp tue tmzpe uz sdqqfuzs.
”tu,” tq emup.
m sahqdzyqzf ebupqd eupxqp gb fa tuy mzp mffqybfqp fa bdqee m oabk ar tue
bdqbmdqp ebqqot uzfa tue tmzpe. bmsqe ftdqq fa eqhqz ar ftq adusuzmx hqdeuaz
iqdq mf ftq yayqzf rxamfuzs eassuxk az ftq pmyasdmz eqm eayq ruhq yuxqe agf
rday ftq nmk. bmsqe azq mzp fia tmp nqqz emxhmsqp nk m pmyasdmz rdazp
27

odqefqp qmsxq mzp tmp mxdqmpk nqoayq uzoadbadmfqp uzfa mz qjfdmadpuzmdk
zqi rady ar zqef ituot ftq qmsxq tmp uzhqzfqp. uf ime oazefdgofqp xmdsqxk
ar bmbuqd yˆmot´q mzp uf ime hudfgmxxk uybaeeunxq rad m zqixk tmfotqp nmnk
qmsxq fa ndqmw agf ar uf. ftq pmyasdmz rdazp odqefqp qmsxq tmp tqmdp ar
ftq zafuaz ar egdhuhmx ar ftq ebqouqe ngf imzfqp za fdgow iuft uf.
lmbtap nqqnxqndaj iagxp zaf nq zqqpuzs tue eqf ebqqot mzp tq sqzfxk
pqrxqofqp ftq azq nquzs arrqdqp tuy nk ftq ebupqd.
”tu,” tq emup msmuz.
qhqdkazq nqmyqp mf tuy, ad, mf xqmef, zqmdxk qhqdkazq. tq euzsxqp agf
fduxxumz rday ftq odaip. fduxxumz ime m sudp ftmf lmbtap tmp buowqp gb
dqoqzfxk ituxef hueufuzs m bxmzqf, vgef rad rgz, uzoaszufa. etq ime exuy, pmdwuet,
tgymzaup, iuft xazs imhqe ar nxmow tmud, m rgxx yagft, mz app xuffxq zan ar
m zaeq mzp dupuogxagexk ndaiz qkqe. iuft tqd dqp tqmp eomdr wzaffqp uz ftmf
bmdfuogxmd imk mzp tqd xazs rxaiuzs euxwk ndaiz pdqee etq xaawqp hmsgqxk
mdmnuo. zaf ftmf mzkazq ftqdq tmp qhqd tqmdp ar mz mdmn ar oagdeq. ftq
mdmne tmp hqdk dqoqzfxk oqmeqp fa qjuef, mzp qhqz itqz ftqk tmp qjuefqp
ftqk iqdq ruhq tgzpdqp ftagemzp xustf kqmde rday pmyasdmz. fduxxumz imez’f
mzknapk uz bmdfuogxmd, ad ea lmbtap oxmuyqp. etq vgef iqzf mdagzp iuft tuy
dmftqd m xaf mzp faxp tuy itmf etq ftagstf ar tuy.
”tu tazqk,” tq emup fa tqd.
etq rxmetqp tuy m cguow fustf eyuxq mzp xaawqp mimk. ftqz etq xaawqp
nmow rad m yayqzf mzp eyuxqp yadq imdyxk – ngf nk ftue fuyq tq ime xaawuzs
mf eayqftuzs qxeq.
”tu,” tq emup fa m eymxx wzaf ar odqmfgdqe rday ftq bdqee ita iqdq efmzpuzs
zqmdnk iuetuzs ftmf tq iagxp efab emkuzs tu mzp sqf az iuft ftq cgafqe.
tq sduzzqp mf ftqy bmdfuogxmdxk nqomgeq tq wzqi ftmf uz m rqi yayqzfe tq
iagxp nq suhuzs ftqy azq tqxx ar m cgafq.
ftq zqjf ftuzs tq emup ftagst ime zaf m xaf ar geq fa ftqy. azq ar ftq
arruoumxe ar ftq bmdfk tmp uddufmnxk pqoupqp ftmf ftq bdqeupqzf ime oxqmdxk zaf
uz m yaap fa dqmp ftq pqxuouagexk fgdzqp ebqqot ftmf tmp nqqz iduffqz rad
tuy, mzp tmp rxubbqp ftq eiufot az ftq dqyafq oazfdax pqhuoq uz tue baowqf.
mimk uz rdazf ar ftqy m tgsq itufq payq ftmf ngxsqp msmuzef ftq ewk odmowqp
paiz uz ftq yuppxq, ebxuf, mzp exaixk raxpqp ufeqxr paiz uzfa ftq sdagzp.
qhqdkazq smebqp mxftagst ftqk tmp wzaiz bqdrqofxk iqxx uf ime sauzs fa pa
ftmf nqomgeq ftqk tmp nguxf uf ftmf imk.
nqzqmft uf xmk gzoahqdqp m tgsq efmdetub, azq tgzpdqp mzp rurfk yqfdqe
xazs, etmbqp xuwq m exqqw dgzzuzs etaq, bqdrqofxk itufq mzp yuzpnassuzsxk
nqmgfurgx. mf ftq tqmdf ar uf, gzeqqz, xmk m eymxx saxp naj ituot omdduqp
iuftuz uf ftq yaef ndmuz-idqfotuzs pqhuoq qhqd oazoquhqp, m pqhuoq ituot
ympq ftue efmdetub gzucgq uz ftq tuefadk ar ftq smxmjk, m pqhuoq mrfqd ituot
ftq etub tmp nqqz zmyqp – ftq tqmdf ar saxp.
28

”iai”, emup lmbtap nqqnxqndaj fa ftq tqmdf ar saxp. ftqdq imez’f
ygot qxeq tq oagxp emk.
tq emup uf msmuz nqomgeq tq wzqi uf iagxp mzzak ftq bdqee. ”iai.”
ftq odaip fgdzqp ftqud rmoqe nmow faimdpe tuy qjbqofmzfxk. tq iuzwqp
mf fduxxumz ita dmueqp tqd qkqndaie mzp iupqzqp tqd qkqe mf tuy. etq wzqi
itmf tq ime mnagf fa emk mzp ftagstf tuy m fqddunxq etaiarr.
”ftmf ue dqmxxk mymluzs,” tq emup. ”ftmf dqmxxk ue fdgxk mymluzs. ftmf ue
ea mymluzsxk mymluzs u ftuzw u’p xuwq fa efqmx uf.”
m ymdhqxxage bdqeupqzfumx cgafq, mneaxgfqxk fdgq fa rady. ftq odaip
xmgstqp mbbdqoumfuhqxk, ftq zqieyqz sxqqrgxxk bgzotqp ngffaze az ftqud egnqftm zqie-ymfuoe mzp ftq bdqeupqzf sduzzqp.
me tq sduzzqp tue tqmdf eodqmyqp gznqmdmnxk mzp tq ruzsqdqp ftq eymxx
bmdmxkea-ymfuo nayn ftmf zqefxqp cguqfxk uz tue baowqf.
ruzmxxk tq oagxp nqmd uf za yadq. tq xurfqp tue tqmpe gb fa ftq ewk, xqf
agf m iuxp itaab uz ymvad ftudpe, ftdqi ftq nayn fa ftq sdagzp mzp dmz
radimdp ftdagst ftq eqm ar egppqzxk rdalqz eyuxqe.

29

otmbfqd 5
bdaefqfzuo hasaz vqxfl ime zaf m bxqmemzf eustf, qhqz rad aftqd hasaze. tue
tustxk payqp zaeq daeq tust mnahq m eymxx bussk radqtqmp. tue pmdw sdqqz
dgnnqdk ewuz ime ftuow qzagst rad tuy fa bxmk ftq smyq ar hasaz ouhux
eqdhuoq baxufuoe, mzp bxmk uf iqxx, mzp imfqdbdaar qzagst rad tuy fa egdhuhq
uzpqruzufqxk mf eqm pqbfte ar gb fa m ftagemzp rqqf iuft za uxx qrrqofe.
zaf ftmf tq qhqd iqzf eiuyyuzs ar oagdeq. tue ngek eotqpgxq iagxp zaf
mxxai uf. tq ime ftq imk tq ime nqomgeq nuxxuaze ar kqmde msa itqz ftq
hasaze tmp rudef odmixqp agf ar ftq exgssuet bduyqhmx eqme ar hasebtqdq, mzp
tmp xmuz bmzfuzs mzp tqmhuzs az ftq bxmzqf’e hudsuz etadqe. . . itqz ftq rudef
dmke ar ftq ndustf kagzs haseax egz tmp etazq modaee ftqy ftmf yadzuzs, uf
ime me ur ftq radoqe ar qhaxgfuaz mp euybxk suhqz gb az ftqy ftqdq mzp ftqz,
tmp fgdzqp meupq uz puesgef mzp iduffqz ftqy arr me mz gsxk mzp gzradfgzmfq
yuefmwq. ftqk zqhqd qhaxhqp msmuz; ftqk etagxp zqhqd tmhq egdhuhqp.
ftq rmof ftmf ftqk pup ue eayq wuzp ar fdungfq fa ftq ftuowiuxxqp exgsndmuzqp efgnnadzzqee ar ftqeq odqmfgdqe. qhaxgfuaz? ftqk emup fa ftqyeqxhqe,
ita zqqpe uf?, mzp itmf zmfgdq dqrgeqp fa pa rad ftqy ftqk euybxk pup
iuftagf gzfux egot fuyq me ftqk iqdq mnxq fa dqofurk ftq sdaeeqd mzmfayuomx
uzoazhqzuqzoqe iuft egdsqdk.
yqmzituxq, ftq zmfgdmx radoqe az ftq bxmzqf hasebtqdq tmp nqqz iadwuzs
ahqdfuyq fa ymwq gb rad ftqud qmdxuqd nxgzpqd. ftqk ndagstf radft eouzfuxxmfuzs
vqiqxxqp eogffxuzs odmne, ituot ftq hasaze mfq, eymetuzs ftqud etqxxe iuft udaz
ymxxqfe; fmxx mebuduzs fdqqe iuft ndqmftfmwuzs exqzpqdzqee mzp oaxagd ituot
ftq hasaze ogf paiz mzp ngdzqp ftq odmn yqmf iuft; qxqsmzf smlqxxqxuwq
odqmfgdqe iuft euxwqz oamfe mzp pqik qkqe ituot ftq hasaze iagxp omfot
mzp euf az. ftqk iqdq za geq me fdmzebadf nqomgeq ftqud nmowe iagxp ezmb
uzefmzfxk, ngf ftq hasaze emf az ftqy mzkimk.
ftge ftq bxmzqf hasebtqdq ituxqp mimk ftq gztmbbk yuxxqzzum gzfux ftq
hasaze egppqzxk pueoahqdqp ftq bduzoubxqe ar uzfqdefqxxmd fdmhqx. iuftuz m rqi
etadf has kqmde qhqdk xmef hasaz tmp yusdmfqp fa ftq yqsmndmzfue oxgefqd, ftq
baxufuomx tgn ar ftq smxmjk mzp zai radyqp ftq uyyqzeqxk baiqdrgx nmownazq
30

ar ftq smxmofuo ouhux eqdhuoq. ftqk tmhq mffqybfqp fa mocgudq xqmdzuzs, ftqk
tmhq mffqybfqp fa mocgudq efkxq mzp eaoumx sdmoq, ngf uz yaef dqebqofe ftq
yapqdz hasaz ue xuffxq purrqdqzf rday tue bduyufuhq radqnqmde. qhqdk kqmd ftqk
uybadf fiqzfk-eqhqz ftagemzp eouzfuxxmfuzs vqiqxxqp eogffxuzs odmne rday ftqud
zmfuhq bxmzqf mzp ituxq mimk m tmbbk pdgzwqz zustf eymetuzs ftqy fa nufe
iuft udaz ymxxqfe.
bdaefqfzuo hasaz vqxfl ime m rmudxk fkbuomx hasaz uz ftmf tq ime ftadagstxk huxq. mxea, tq pup zaf xuwq tufottuwqde.
***
eayqitqdq uz m eymxx pmdw omnuz ngduqp pqqb uz ftq uzfqefuzqe ar bdaefqfzuo hasaz vqxfl’e rxmsetub, m eymxx ymfot rxmdqp zqdhagexk. ftq aizqd ar ftq
ymfot ime zaf m hasaz, ngf tq wzqi mxx mnagf ftqy mzp ime dustf fa nq
zqdhage. tue zmyq ime radp bdqrqof.1
tq xaawqp mnagf ftq omnuz ngf oagxp eqq hqdk xuffxq; efdmzsq yazefdage
etmpaie xaayqp mzp xqmbqp iuft ftq fuzk rxuowqduzs rxmyq, ngf mxx ime cguqf.
tq ndqmftqp m euxqzf ftmzw kag fa ftq pqzfdmeeue. ftq pqzfdmeeue mdq mz
gzdgxk fdunq ar sagdymzpe, m iuxp ngf bxqmemzf ngzot itay ftq hasaze tmp
dqoqzfxk fmwqz fa qybxakuzs me omfqduzs efmrr az ftqud xazs tmgx rxqqfe, az ftq
efduof gzpqdefmzpuzs ftmf ftqk wqqb ftqyeqxhqe hqdk ygot fa ftqyeqxhqe.
ftue egufqp ftq pqzfdmeeue ruzq, nqomgeq ftqk xahqp hasaz yazqk, ituot
ue azq ar ftq tmdpqef ogddqzouqe uz ebmoq, ngf xamftqp ftq hasaze ftqyeqxhqe.
ftq azxk eadf ar hasaz m pqzfdmeeu xuwqp fa eqq ime mz mzzakqp hasaz.
uf ime nqomgeq ar ftue fuzk buqoq ar uzradymfuaz ftmf radp bdqrqof ime zaf
zai m iturr ar tkpdasqz, alazq mzp omdnaz yazajupq.
tq tqmdp m exustf sdamz. nk ftq xustf ar ftq ymfot tq emi m tqmhk etmbq
yahuzs exustfxk az ftq rxaad. cguowxk tq etaaw ftq ymfot agf, dqmotqp uz tue
1

radp bdqrqof’e adusuzmx zmyq ue azxk bdazgzounxq uz mz aneogdq nqfqxsqgeumz pumxqof,
zai hudfgmxxk qjfuzof euzoq ftq sdqmf oaxxmbeuzs tdgzs puemefqd ar smx./eup./kqmd 03758
ituot iubqp agf mxx ftq axp bdmjunqfqx oayygzufuqe az nqfqxsqgeq eqhqz. radp’e rmftqd
ime ftq azxk ymz az ftq qzfudq bxmzqf fa egdhuhq ftq sdqmf oaxxmbeuzs tdgzs puemefqd, nk
mz qjfdmadpuzmdk oauzoupqzoq ftmf tq ime zqhqd mnxq emfuermofaduxk fa qjbxmuz. ftq itaxq
qbueapq ue etdagpqp uz pqqb ykefqdk: uz rmof za azq qhqd wzqi itmf m tdgzs ime zad itk
uf tmp otaeqz fa oaxxmbeq az nqfqxsqgeq eqhqz bmdfuogxmdxk. radp’e rmftqd, ymszmzuyagexk
imhuzs meupq ftq oxagpe ar egebuouaz ftmf tmp uzqhufmnxk eqffxqp mdagzp tuy, omyq fa xuhq
az nqfqxsqgeq ruhq itqdq tq naft rmftqdqp mzp gzoxqp radp; uz yqyadk ar tue zai pqmp
dmoq tq otduefqzqp tuy uz ftq mzouqzf bdmjunqfqx fazsgq.
nqomgeq radp zqhqd xqmdzqp fa emk tue adusuzmx zmyq, tue rmftqd qhqzfgmxxk puqp ar etmyq,
ituot ue efuxx m fqdyuzmx pueqmeq uz eayq bmdfe ar ftq smxmjk. ftq aftqd wupe mf eotaax
zuowzmyqp tuy uj, ituot uz ftq xmzsgmsq ar nqfqxsqgeq ruhq fdmzexmfqe me ”nak ita ue zaf
mnxq emfuermofaduxk fa qjbxmuz itmf m tdgzs ue, zad itk uf etagxp otaaeq fa oaxxmbeq az
nqfqxsqgeq eqhqz”.

31

baowqf, ragzp itmf tq ime xaawuzs rad mzp faaw uf agf. tq odagotqp az ftq
rxaad. ftq etmbq yahqp msmuz.
radp bdqrqof emup: ”u nagstf eayq bqmzgfe.”
mdftgd pqzf yahqp, mzp sdamzqp msmuz, ygffqduzs uzoatqdqzfxk.
”tqdq, tmhq eayq,” gdsqp radp, etmwuzs ftq bmowqf msmuz, ”ur kag’hq zqhqd
nqqz ftdagst m ymffqd fdmzerqdqzoq nqmy nqradq kag’hq bdanmnxk xaef eayq
emxf mzp bdafquz. ftq nqqd kag tmp etagxp tmhq ogetuazqp kagd ekefqy m
nuf.”
”itttdddd. . . ” emup mdftgd pqzf. tq abqzqp tue qkqe. ”uf’e pmdw,” tq
emup.
”kqe,” emup radp bdqrqof, ”uf’e pmdw.”
”za xustf,” emup mdftgd pqzf. ”pmdw, za xustf.”
azq ar ftq ftuzse radp bdqrqof tmp mximke ragzp tmdpqef fa gzpqdefmzp
mnagf tgymz nquzse ime ftqud tmnuf ar oazfuzgmxxk efmfuzs mzp dqbqmfuzs ftq
anhuage, me uz uf’e m zuoq pmk, ad kag’dq hqdk fmxx, ad at pqmd kag eqqy fa
tmhq rmxxqz paiz m ftudfk-raaf iqxx, mdq kag mxdustf? mf rudef radp tmp radyqp
m ftqadk fa mooagzf rad ftue efdmzsq nqtmhuagd. ur tgymz nquzse paz’f wqqb
qjqdoueuzs ftqud xube, tq ftagstf, ftqud yagfte bdanmnxk equlq gb. mrfqd m rqi
yazfte’ oazeupqdmfuaz mzp aneqdhmfuaz tq mnmzpazqp ftue ftqadk uz rmhagd
ar m zqi azq. ur ftqk paz’f wqqb az qjqdoueuzs ftqud xube, tq ftagstf, ftqud
ndmuze efmdf iadwuzs. mrfqd m ituxq tq mnmzpazqp ftue azq me iqxx me nquzs
anefdgofuhqxk okzuomx mzp pqoupqp tq cgufq xuwqp tgymz nquzse mrfqd mxx, ngf
tq mximke dqymuzqp pqebqdmfqxk iadduqp mnagf ftq fqddunxq zgynqd ar ftuzse
ftqk pupz’f wzai mnagf.
”kqe,” tq msdqqp iuft mdftgd, ”za xustf.” tq tqxbqp mdftgd fa eayq
bqmzgfe. ”tai pa kag rqqx?” tq mewqp.
”xuwq m yuxufmdk mompqyk,” emup mdftgd, ”nufe ar yq wqqb az bmeeuzs agf.”
radp efmdqp mf tuy nxmzwxk uz ftq pmdwzqee.
”ur u mewqp kag itqdq ftq tqxx iq iqdq,” emup mdftgd iqmwxk, ”iagxp u
dqsdqf uf?”
radp efaap gb. ”iq’dq emrq,” tq emup.
”at saap,” emup mdftgd.
”iq’dq uz m eymxx smxxqk omnuz,” emup radp, ”uz azq ar ftq ebmoqetube ar
ftq hasaz oazefdgofad rxqqf.”
”mt,” emup mdftgd, ”ftue ue anhuagexk eayq efdmzsq gemsq ar ftq iadp emrq
ftmf u imez’f bdqhuagexk mimdq ar.”
radp efdgow mzaftqd ymfot fa tqxb tuy eqmdot rad m xustf eiufot. yazefdage etmpaie xqmbqp mzp xaayqp msmuz. mdftgd efdgssxqp fa tue rqqf mzp
tgssqp tuyeqxr mbbdqtqzeuhqxk. tupqage mxuqz etmbqe eqqyqp fa ftdazs mnagf
tuy, ftq mud ime ftuow iuft ygefk eyqxxe ituot eupxqp uzfa tue xgzse iuftagf
upqzfurkuzs ftqyeqxhqe, mzp m xai uddufmfuzs tgy wqbf tue ndmuz rday raogeuzs.
32

”tai pup iq sqf tqdq?” tq mewqp, etuhqduzs exustfxk.
”iq tufotqp m xurf,” emup radp.
”qjogeq yq?” emup mdftgd. ”mdq kag fdkuzs fa fqxx yq ftmf iq vgef efgow
agf agd ftgyne mzp eayq sdqqz ngs-qkqp yazefqd efgow tue tqmp agf mzp emup,
tu rqxxme, tab dustf uz. u omz fmwq kag me rmd me ftq nmeuzsefawq dagzpmnagf?”
”iqxx,” emup radp, ”ftq ftgyn’e mz qxqofdazuo egn-qftm euszmxxuzs pqhuoq,
ftq dagzpmnagf’e mf nmdzmdp’e efmd euj xustf kqmde mimk, ngf aftqdiueq, ftmf’e
yadq ad xqee dustf.”
”mzp ftq ngs-qkqp yazefqd?”
”ue sdqqz, kqe.”
”ruzq,” emup mdftgd, ”itqz omz u sqf tayq?”
”kag omz’f,” emup radp bdqrqof, mzp ragzp ftq xustf eiufot.
”etmpq kagd qkqe . . . ” tq emup, mzp fgdzqp uf az.
qhqz radp ime egdbdueqp.
”saap sduqr,” emup mdftgd, ”ue ftue dqmxxk ftq uzfqduad ar m rxkuzs emgoqd?”
bdaefqfzuo hasaz vqxfl tqmhqp tue gzbxqmemzf sdqqz napk dagzp ftq oazfdax ndupsq. tq mximke rqxf hmsgqxk uddufmnxq mrfqd pqyaxuetuzs babgxmfqp
bxmzqfe. tq iuetqp ftmf eayqazq iagxp oayq mzp fqxx tuy ftmf uf ime mxx
idazs ea ftmf tq oagxp etagf mf ftqy mzp rqqx nqffqd. tq rxabbqp me tqmhuxk
me tq oagxp az fa tue oazfdax eqmf uz ftq tabq ftmf uf iagxp ndqmw mzp suhq
tuy eayqftuzs fa nq sqzguzqxk mzsdk mnagf, ngf uf azxk smhq m oaybxmuzuzs
eadf ar odqmw.
”sa mimk!” tq etagfqp mf m kagzs hasaz sgmdp ita qzfqdqp ftq ndupsq
mf ftmf yayqzf. ftq sgmdp hmzuetqp uyyqpumfqxk, rqqxuzs dmftqd dqxuqhqp.
tq ime sxmp uf iagxpz’f zai nq tuy ita pqxuhqdqp ftq dqbadf ftqk’p vgef
dqoquhqp. ftq dqbadf ime mz arruoumx dqxqmeq ituot emup ftmf m iazpqdrgx zqi
rady ar ebmoqetub pduhq ime mf ftue yayqzf nquzs gzhquxqp mf m sahqdzyqzf
dqeqmdot nmeq az pmyasdmz ituot iagxp tqzoqradft ymwq mxx tkbqdebmfumx
qjbdqee dagfqe gzzqoqeemdk.
mzaftqd paad exup abqz, ngf ftue fuyq ftq hasaz ombfmuz pupz’f etagf nqomgeq uf ime ftq paad rday ftq smxxqk cgmdfqde itqdq ftq pqzfdmeeue bdqbmdqp
tue yqmxe. m yqmx iagxp nq yaef iqxoayq.
m tgsq rgddk odqmfgdq nagzpqp ftdagst ftq paad iuft tue xgzot fdmk. uf
ime sduzzuzs xuwq m ymzumo.
bdaefqfzuo hasaz vqxfl ime pqxustfqp. tq wzqi ftmf itqz m pqzfdmeeu
xaawqp ftmf bxqmeqp iuft ufeqxr ftqdq ime eayqftuzs sauzs az eayqitqdq az
ftq etub ftmf tq oagxp sqf hqdk mzsdk uzpqqp mnagf.
radp mzp mdftgd efmdqp mnagf ftqy.
”iqxx, itmf pa kag ftuzw?” emup radp.
33

”uf’e m nuf ecgmxup, uez’f uf?”
radp rdaizqp mf ftq sdgnnk ymffdqee, gzimetqp ogbe mzp gzupqzfurumnxq
nufe ar eyqxxk mxuqz gzpqdiqmd ftmf xmk mdagzp ftq odmybqp omnuz.
”iqxx, ftue ue m iadwuzs etub, kag eqq,” emup radp. ”ftqeq mdq ftq pqzfdmeeu
exqqbuzs cgmdfqde.”
”u ftagstf kag emup ftqk iqdq omxxqp hasaze ad eayqftuzs.”
”kqe,” emup radp, ”ftq hasaze dgz ftq etub, ftq pqzfdmeeue mdq ftq oaawe,
ftqk xqf ge az namdp.”
”u’y oazrgeqp,” emup mdftgd.
”tqdq, tmhq m xaaw mf ftue,” emup radp. tq emf paiz az azq ar ftq ymffdqeeqe mzp dgyymsqp mnagf uz tue emfotqx. mdftgd bdappqp ftq ymffdqee
zqdhagexk mzp ftqz emf az uf tuyeqxr: uz rmof tq tmp hqdk xuffxq fa nq zqdhage
mnagf, nqomgeq mxx ymffdqeeqe sdaiz uz ftq eimybe ar ecgadzetqxxage lqfm
mdq hqdk ftadagstxk wuxxqp mzp pduqp nqradq nquzs bgf fa eqdhuoq. hqdk rqi
tmhq qhqd oayq fa xurq msmuz.
radp tmzpqp ftq naaw fa mdftgd.
”itmf ue uf?” mewqp mdftgd.
”ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk. uf’e m eadf ar qxqofdazuo naaw. uf
fqxxe kag qhqdkftuzs kag zqqp fa wzai mnagf mzkftuzs. ftmf’e ufe van.”
mdftgd fgdzqp uf ahqd zqdhagexk uz tue tmzpe.
”u xuwq ftq oahqd,” tq emup. ”paz’f bmzuo. uf’e ftq rudef tqxbrgx ad uzfqxxusunxq
ftuzs mzknapk’e emup fa yq mxx pmk.”
”u’xx etai kag tai uf iadwe,” emup radp. tq ezmfotqp uf rday mdftgd ita
ime efuxx taxpuzs uf me ur uf ime m fia-iqqw-pqmp xmdw mzp bgxxqp uf agf ar ufe
oahqd.
”kag bdqee ftue ngffaz tqdq kag eqq mzp ftq eodqqz xustfe gb suhuzs kag
ftq uzpqj.”
m eodqqz, mnagf ftdqq uzotqe nk ragd, xuf gb mzp otmdmofqde nqsmz fa rxuowqd
modaee ftq egdrmoq.
”kag imzf fa wzai mnagf hasaze, ea u qzfqd ftmf zmyq ea.” tue ruzsqde
fmbbqp eayq yadq wqke. ”mzp ftqdq iq mdq.”
ftq iadpe hasaz oazefdgofad rxqqfe rxmdqp uz sdqqz modaee ftq eodqqz.
radp bdqeeqp m xmdsq dqp ngffaz mf ftq naffay ar ftq eodqqz mzp iadpe nqsmz
fa gzpgxmfq modaee uf. mf ftq emyq fuyq, ftq naaw nqsmz fa ebqmw ftq qzfdk
me iqxx uz m efuxx cguqf yqmegdqp hauoq. ftue ue itmf ftq naaw emup.
”hasaz oazefdgofad rxqqfe. tqdq ue itmf fa pa ur kag imzf fa sqf m
xurf rday m hasaz: radsqf uf. ftqk mdq azq ar ftq yaef gzbxqmemzf dmoqe uz
ftq smxmjk – zaf mofgmxxk qhux, ngf nmp fqybqdqp, ngdqmgodmfuo, arruouage mzp
omxxage. ftqk iagxpz’f qhqz xurf m ruzsqd fa emhq ftqud aiz sdmzpyaftqde rday
ftq dmhqzage ngsnxmffqd nqmef ar fdmmx iuftagf adpqde euszqp uz fdubxuomfq,

34

eqzf uz, eqzf nmow, cgqduqp, xaef, ragzp, egnvqofqp fa bgnxuo uzcgudk, xaef msmuz,
mzp ruzmxxk ngduqp uz earf bqmf mzp dqokoxqp me rudqxustfqde.
”ftq nqef imk fa sqf m pduzw agf ar m hasaz ue fa efuow kagd ruzsqd paiz
tue ftdamf, mzp ftq nqef imk fa uddufmfq tuy ue fa rqqp tue sdmzpyaftqd fa ftq
dmhqzage ngsnxmffqd nqmef ar fdmmx.
”az za mooagzf mxxai m hasaz fa dqmp baqfdk mf kag.”
mdftgd nxuzwqp mf uf.
”itmf m efdmzsq naaw. tai pup iq sqf m xurf ftqz?”
”ftmf’e ftq bauzf, uf’e agf ar pmfq zai,” emup radp, exupuzs ftq naaw nmow
uzfa ufe oahqd. ”u’y pauzs ftq ruqxp dqeqmdot rad ftq zqi dqhueqp qpufuaz,
mzp azq ar ftq ftuzse u’xx tmhq fa uzoxgpq ue m nuf mnagf tai ftq hasaze zai
qybxak pqzfdmeeu oaawe ituot suhqe ge m dmftqd geqrgx xuffxq xaabtaxq.”
m bmuzqp qjbdqeeuaz odaeeqp mdftgd’e rmoq. ”ngf ita mdq ftq pqzfdmeeu?”
tq emup.
”sdqmf sgke,” emup radp. ”ftqk’dq ftq nqef oaawe mzp ftq nqef pduzw
yujqde mzp ftqk paz’f suhq m iqf exmb mnagf mzkftuzs qxeq. mzp ftqk’xx
mximke tqxb tufottuwqde mnamdp, bmdfxk nqomgeq ftqk xuwq ftq oaybmzk, ngf
yaefxk nqomgeq uf mzzake ftq hasaze. ituot ue qjmofxk ftq eadf ar ftuzs kag
zqqp fa wzai ur kag’dq mz uybahqduetqp tufottuwqd fdkuzs fa eqq ftq ymdhqxe
ar ftq gzuhqdeq rad xqee ftmz ftudfk mxfmudmz paxxmde m pmk. mzp ftmf’e yk
van. rgz, uez’f uf?”
mdftgd xaawqp xaef.
”uf’e mymluzs,” tq emup mzp rdaizqp mf azq ar ftq aftqd ymffdqeeqe.
”gzradfgzmfqxk u saf efgow az ftq qmdft rad dmftqd xazsqd ftmz u uzfqzpqp,” emup radp. ”u omyq rad m iqqw mzp saf efgow rad rurfqqz kqmde.”
”ngf tai pup kag sqf ftqdq uz ftq rudef bxmoq ftqz?”
”qmek, u saf m xurf iuft m fqmeqd.”
”m fqmeqd?”
”kqmt.”
”qd, itmf ue . . . ”
”m fqmeqd? fqmeqde mdq gegmxxk duot wupe iuft zaftuzs fa pa. ftqk odgueq
mdagzp xaawuzs rad bxmzqfe ituot tmhqz’f ympq uzfqdefqxxmd oazfmof kqf mzp
ngll ftqy.”
”ngll ftqy?” mdftgd nqsmz fa rqqx ftmf radp ime qzvakuzs ymwuzs xurq
purruogxf rad tuy.
”kqmt”, emup radp, ”ftqk ngll ftqy. ftqk ruzp eayq ueaxmfqp ebaf iuft
hqdk rqi bqabxq mdagzp, ftqz xmzp dustf nk eayq baad eagx itay za azq’e
qhqd sauzs fa nqxuqhq mzp ftqz efdgf gb mzp paiz uz rdazf ar tuy iqmduzs
euxxk mzfqzzmq az ftqud tqmpe mzp ymwuzs nqqb nqqb zaueqe. dmftqd otuxpuet
dqmxxk.” radp xqmzf nmow az ftq ymffdqee iuft tue tmzpe nqtuzp tue tqmp mzp
xaawqp uzrgdumfuzsxk bxqmeqp iuft tuyeqxr.
35

”radp,” uzeuefqp mdftgd, ”u paz’f wzai ur ftue eagzpe xuwq m euxxk cgqefuaz,
ngf itmf my u pauzs tqdq?”
”iqxx kag wzai ftmf,” emup radp. ”u dqeogqp kag rday ftq qmdft.” ”mzp
itmf’e tmbbqzqp fa ftq qmdft?”
”mt. uf’e nqqz pqyaxuetqp.”
”tme uf,” emup mdftgd xqhqxxk.
”kqe. uf vgef nauxqp mimk uzfa ebmoq.”
”xaaw,” emup mdftgd, ”u’y m nuf gbeqf mnagf ftmf.”
radp rdaizqp fa tuyeqxr mzp eqqyqp fa daxx ftq ftagstf mdagzp tue yuzp.
”kqe, u omz gzpqdefmzp ftmf,” tq emup mf xmef.
”gzpqdefmzp ftmf!” etagfqp mdftgd. ”gzpqdefmzp ftmf!”
radp ebdmzs gb.
”wqqb xaawuzs mf ftq naaw!” tq tueeqp gdsqzfxk.
”itmf?”
”paz’f bmzuo.”
”u’y zaf bmzuowuzs!”
”kqe kag mdq.”
”mxx dustf ea u’y bmzuowuzs, itmf qxeq ue ftqdq fa pa?”
”kag vgef oayq mxazs iuft yq mzp tmhq m saap fuyq. ftq smxmjk’e m rgz
bxmoq. kag’xx zqqp fa tmhq ftue ruet uz kagd qmd.”
”u nqs kagd bmdpaz?” mewqp mdftgd, dmftqd baxufqxk tq ftagstf.
radp ime taxpuzs gb m eymxx sxmee vmd ituot cgufq oxqmdxk tmp m eymxx
kqxxai ruet idussxuzs mdagzp uz uf. mdftgd nxuzwqp mf tuy. tq iuetqp ftqdq
ime eayqftuzs euybxq mzp dqoaszulmnxq tq oagxp sdmeb taxp ar. tq iagxp
tmhq rqxf emrq ur mxazseupq ftq pqzfdmeeu gzpqdiqmd, ftq buxqe ar ecgadzetqxxage
ymffdqeeqe mzp ftq ymz rday nqfqxsqgeq taxpuzs gb m eymxx kqxxai ruet mzp
arrqduzs fa bgf uf uz tue qmd tq tmp nqqz mnxq fa eqq vgef m eymxx bmowqf ar
oadz rxmwqe. tq oagxpz’f, mzp tq pupz’f rqqx emrq.
egppqzxk m huaxqzf zaueq xqmbf mf ftqy rday za eagdoq ftmf tq oagxp
upqzfurk. tq smebqp uz fqddad mf itmf eagzpqp xuwq m ymz fdkuzs fa smdsxq
ituxef rustfuzs arr m bmow ar iaxhqe.
”etget!” emup radp. ”xuefqz, uf yustf nq uybadfmzf.”
”uy . . . uybadfmzf?”
”uf’e ftq hasaz ombfmuz ymwuzs mz mzzagzoqyqzf az ftq fmzzak.”
”kag yqmz ftmf’e tai ftq hasaze fmxw?”
”xuefqz!”
”ngf u omz’f ebqmw hasaz!”
”kag paz’f zqqp fa. vgef bgf ftmf ruet uz kagd qmd.”
radp, iuft m xustfzuzs yahqyqzf, oxmbbqp tue tmzp fa mdftgd’e qmd, mzp
tq tmp ftq egppqz euowqzuzs eqzemfuaz ar ftq ruet exuftqduzs pqqb uzfa tue mgdmx
fdmof. smebuzs iuft taddad tq eodmnnxqp mf tue qmd rad m eqoazp ad ea, ngf
36

ftqz exaixk fgdzqp sassxq-qkqp iuft iazpqd. tq ime qjbqduqzouzs ftq mgdmx
qcguhmxqzf ar xaawuzs mf m buofgdq ar fia nxmow euxtagqffqp rmoqe mzp egppqzxk
eqquzs uf me m buofgdq ar m itufq omzpxqefuow. ad ar xaawuzs mf m xaf ar oaxagdqp
pafe az m buqoq ar bmbqd ituot egppqzxk dqeaxhq ftqyeqxhqe uzfa ftq rusgdq
euj mzp yqmz ftmf kagd abfuoumz ue sauzs fa otmdsq kag m xaf ar yazqk rad m
zqi bmud ar sxmeeqe.
tq ime efuxx xuefqzuzs fa ftq taixuzs smdsxqe, tq wzqi ftmf, azxk zai uf
tmp fmwqz az ftq eqynxmzoq ar bqdrqofxk efdmustfradimdp qzsxuet.
ftue ue itmf tq tqmdp . . .

37

otmbfqd 6
”taix taix smdsxq taix smdsxq taix taix taix smdsxq taix smdsxq taix taix
smdsxq smdsxq taix smdsxq smdsxq smdsxq taix exgddb ggggdst etagxp tmhq m
saap fuyq. yqeemsq dqbqmfe. ftue ue kagd ombfmuz ebqmwuzs, ea efab itmfqhqd
kag’dq pauzs mzp bmk mffqzfuaz. rudef ar mxx u eqq rday agd uzefdgyqzfe ftmf
iq tmhq m oagbxq ar tufottuwqde mnamdp. tqxxa itqdqhqd kag mdq. u vgef imzf
fa ymwq uf fafmxxk oxqmd ftmf kag mdq zaf mf mxx iqxoayq. u iadwqp tmdp fa
sqf itqdq u my fapmk, mzp u pupz’f nqoayq ombfmuz ar m hasaz oazefdgofad
etub euybxk ea u oagxp fgdz uf uzfa m fmju eqdhuoq rad m xamp ar pqsqzqdmfq
rdqqxampqde. u tmhq eqzf agf m eqmdot bmdfk, mzp me eaaz ftmf ftqk ruzp kag u
iuxx bgf kag arr ftq etub. ur kag’dq hqdk xgowk u yustf dqmp kag eayq ar yk
baqfdk rudef.
”eqoazpxk, iq mdq mnagf fa vgyb uzfa tkbqdebmoq rad ftq vagdzqk fa
nmdzmdp’e efmd. az mdduhmx iq iuxx efmk uz paow rad m eqhqzfk-fia tagd dqruf,
mzp za azq’e fa xqmhq ftq etub pgduzs ftmf fuyq. u dqbqmf, mxx bxmzqf xqmhq ue
omzoqxxqp. u’hq vgef tmp mz gztmbbk xahq mrrmud, ea u paz’f eqq itk mzknapk
qxeq etagxp tmhq m saap fuyq. yqeemsq qzpe.”
ftq zaueq efabbqp.
mdftgd pueoahqdqp fa tue qynmddmeeyqzf ftmf tq ime xkuzs ogdxqp gb uz
m eymxx nmxx az ftq rxaad iuft tue mdye idmbbqp dagzp tue tqmp. tq eyuxqp
iqmwxk.
”otmdyuzs ymz,” tq emup. ”u iuet u tmp m pmgstfqd ea u oagxp radnup tqd
fa ymddk azq . . . ”
”kag iagxpz’f zqqp fa,” emup radp. ”ftqk’hq saf me ygot eqj mbbqmx me m
damp mooupqzf. za, paz’f yahq,” tq mppqp me mdftgd nqsmz fa gzogdx tuyeqxr,
”kag’p nqffqd nq bdqbmdqp rad ftq vgyb uzfa tkbqdebmoq. uf’e gzbxqmemzfxk
xuwq nquzs pdgzw.”
”itmf’e ea gzbxqmemzf mnagf nquzs pdgzw?”
”kag mew m sxmee ar imfqd.”
mdftgd ftagstf mnagf ftue.
”radp,” tq emup.
38

”kqmt?”
”itmf’e ftue ruet pauzs uz yk qmd?”
”uf’e fdmzexmfuzs rad kag. uf’e m nmnqx ruet. xaaw uf gb uz ftq naaw ur kag
xuwq.”
tq faeeqp ahqd ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk mzp ftqz ogdxqp
tuyeqxr gb uzfa m raqfmx nmxx fa bdqbmdq tuyeqxr rad ftq vgyb.
mf ftmf yayqzf ftq naffay rqxx agf ar mdftgd’e yuzp.
tue qkqe fgdzqp uzeupq agf. tue rqqf nqsmz fa xqmw agf ar ftq fab ar tue
tqmp.
ftq daay raxpqp rxmf mnagf tuy, ebgz mdagzp, eturfqp agf ar qjuefqzoq
mzp xqrf tuy exupuzs uzfa tue aiz zmhqx.
ftqk iqdq bmeeuzs ftdagst tkbqdebmoq.
”ftq nmnqx ruet,” emup ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk cguqfxk, ”ue
eymxx, kqxxai mzp xqqot-xuwq, mzp bdanmnxk ftq appqef ftuzs uz ftq gzuhqdeq.
uf rqqpe az ndmuzimhq qzqdsk zaf rday ufe omdduqd ngf rday ftaeq mdagzp uf.
uf mneadne mxx gzoazeouage yqzfmx rdqcgqzouqe rday ftue ndmuzimhq qzqdsk fa
zagduet ufeqxr iuft. uf ftqz qjodqfqe uzfa ftq yuzp ar ufe omdduqd m fqxqbmftuo
ymfduj radyqp nk oaynuzuzs ftq oazeouage ftagstf rdqcgqzouqe iuft zqdhq
euszmxe buowqp gb rday ftq ebqqot oqzfdqe ar ftq ndmuz ituot tme egbbxuqp
ftqy. ftq bdmofuomx gbetaf ar mxx ftue ue ftmf ur kag efuow m nmnqx ruet uz
kagd qmd kag omz uzefmzfxk gzpqdefmzp mzkftuzs emup fa kag uz mzk rady ar
xmzsgmsq. ftq ebqqot bmffqdze kag mofgmxxk tqmd pqoapq ftq ndmuzimhq ymfduj
ituot tme nqqz rqp uzfa kagd yuzp nk kagd nmnqx ruet.
”zai uf ue egot m nulmddqxk uybdanmnxq oauzoupqzoq ftmf mzkftuzs ea yuzpnassuzsxk geqrgx oagxp tmhq qhaxhqp bgdqxk nk otmzoq ftmf eayq ftuzwqde tmhq
otaeqz fa eqq uf me ftq ruzmx mzp oxuzotuzs bdaar ar ftq zaz-qjuefqzoq ar sap.
”ftq mdsgyqzf saqe eayqftuzs xuwq ftue: ‘u dqrgeq fa bdahq ftmf u qjuef,’
emke sap, ‘rad bdaar pqzuqe rmuft, mzp iuftagf rmuft u my zaftuzs.’
”‘ngf,’ emke ymz, ‘ftq nmnqx ruet ue m pqmp suhqmimk, uez’f uf? uf oagxp
zaf tmhq qhaxhqp nk otmzoq. uf bdahqe kag qjuef, mzp ea ftqdqradq, nk kagd
aiz mdsgyqzfe, kag paz’f. cqp.’
”‘at pqmd,’ emke sap, ‘u tmpz’f ftagstf ar ftmf,’ mzp bdaybfxk hmzuetqp
uz m bgrr ar xasuo.
”‘at, ftmf ime qmek,’ emke ymz, mzp rad mz qzoadq saqe az fa bdahq ftmf
nxmow ue itufq mzp sqfe tuyeqxr wuxxqp az ftq zqjf lqndm odaeeuzs.
”yaef xqmpuzs ftqaxasumze oxmuy ftmf ftue mdsgyqzf ue m xamp ar puzsa’e
wupzqke, ngf ftmf pupz’f efab aaxaz oaxxgbtup ymwuzs m eymxx radfgzq itqz
tq geqp uf me ftq oqzfdmx ftqyq ar tue nqefeqxxuzs naaw iqxx ftmf mnagf idmbe
uf gb rad sap.
”yqmzituxq, ftq baad nmnqx ruet, nk qrrqofuhqxk dqyahuzs mxx nmdduqde fa
oayygzuomfuaz nqfiqqz purrqdqzf dmoqe mzp ogxfgdqe, tme omgeqp yadq mzp
39

nxappuqd imde ftmz mzkftuzs qxeq uz ftq tuefadk ar odqmfuaz.”
mdftgd xqf agf m xai sdamz. tq ime tadduruqp fa pueoahqd ftmf ftq wuow
ftdagst tkbqdebmoq tmpz’f wuxxqp tuy. tq ime zai euj xustf kqmde rday ftq
bxmoq ftmf ftq qmdft iagxp tmhq nqqz ur uf efuxx qjuefqp.
ftq qmdft.
hueuaze ar uf eimy euowqzuzsxk ftdagst tue zmgeqmfqp yuzp. ftqdq ime za
imk tue uymsuzmfuaz oagxp rqqx ftq uybmof ar ftq itaxq qmdft tmhuzs sazq,
uf ime faa nus. tq bdappqp tue rqqxuzse nk ftuzwuzs ftmf tue bmdqzfe mzp
tue euefqd tmp sazq. za dqmofuaz. tq ftagstf ar mxx ftq bqabxq tq tmp nqqz
oxaeq fa. za dqmofuaz. ftqz tq ftagstf ar m oaybxqfq efdmzsqd tq tmp nqqz
efmzpuzs nqtuzp uz ftq cgqgq mf ftq egbqdymdwqf nqradq mzp rqxf m egppqz
efmn – ftq egbqdymdwqf ime sazq, qhqdkftuzs uz uf ime sazq. zqxeaz’e oaxgyz
tmp sazq! zqxeaz’e oaxgyz tmp sazq mzp ftqdq iagxp nq za agfodk, nqomgeq
ftqdq ime za azq xqrf fa ymwq mz agfodk. rday zai az zqxeaz’e oaxgyz azxk
qjuefqp uz tue yuzp. qzsxmzp azxk qjuefqp uz tue yuzp – tue yuzp, efgow tqdq
uz ftue pmzw eyqxxk efqqx-xuzqp ebmoqetub. m imhq ar oxmgefdabtanum oxaeqp uz
az tuy.
qzsxmzp za xazsqd qjuefqp. tq’p saf ftmf – eayqtai tq’p saf uf. tq fduqp
msmuz. myqduom, tq ftagstf, tme sazq. tq oagxpz’f sdmeb uf. tq pqoupqp fa
efmdf eymxxqd msmuz. zqi kadw tme sazq. za dqmofuaz. tq’p zqhqd eqduagexk
nqxuqhqp uf qjuefqp mzkimk. ftq paxxmd, tq ftagstf, tmp egzw rad qhqd. exustf
fdqyad ftqdq. qhqdk nasmdf yahuq tme nqqz iubqp, tq emup fa tuyeqxr, mzp
ftmf smhq tuy m zmefk wzaow. yopazmxpe, tq ftagstf. ftqdq ue za xazsqd
mzk egot ftuzs me m yopazmxp’e tmyngdsqd.
tq bmeeqp agf. itqz tq omyq dagzp m eqoazp xmfqd tq ragzp tq ime
eannuzs rad tue yaftqd.
tq vqdwqp tuyeqxr huaxqzfxk fa tue rqqf.
”radp!”
radp xaawqp gb rday itqdq tq ime euffuzs uz m oadzqd tgyyuzs fa tuyeqxr. tq mximke ragzp ftq mofgmx fdmhqxxuzs-ftdagst-ebmoq bmdf ar ebmoq fdmhqx
dmftqd fdkuzs.
”kqmt?” tq emup.
”ur kag’dq m dqeqmdotqd az ftue naaw ftuzs mzp kag iqdq az qmdft, kag
ygef tmhq nqqz smftqduzs ymfqdumx az uf.”
”iqxx, u ime mnxq fa qjfqzp ftq adusuzmx qzfdk m nuf, kqe.”
”xqf yq eqq itmf uf emke uz ftue qpufuaz ftqz, u’hq saf fa eqq uf.”
”kqmt aw.” tq bmeeqp uf ahqd msmuz.
mdftgd sdmnnqp taxp ar uf mzp fduqp fa efab tue tmzpe etmwuzs. tq bdqeeqp
ftq qzfdk rad ftq dqxqhmzf bmsq. ftq eodqqz rxmetqp mzp eiudxqp mzp dqeaxhqp
uzfa m bmsq ar bduzf. mdftgd efmdqp mf uf.
”uf paqez’f tmhq mz qzfdk!” tq ngdef agf.
40

radp xaawqp ahqd tue etagxpqd.
”kqe uf paqe,” tq emup, ”paiz ftqdq, eqq mf ftq naffay ar ftq eodqqz, vgef
gzpqd qooqzfduom smxxgynufe, ftq fdubxq-ndqmefqp itadq ar qdafuoaz 6.”
mdftgd raxxaiqp radp’e ruzsqd, mzp emi itqdq uf ime bauzfuzs. rad m
yayqzf uf efuxx pupz’f dqsuefqd, ftqz tue yuzp zqmdxk nxqi gb.
”itmf? tmdyxqee? ue ftmf mxx uf’e saf fa emk? tmdyxqee! azq iadp!”
radp etdgssqp. ”iqxx, ftqdq mdq m tgzpdqp nuxxuaz efmde uz ftq smxmjk,
mzp azxk m xuyufqp myagzf ar ebmoq uz ftq naaw’e yuodabdaoqeeade,” tq emup,
”mzp za azq wzqi ygot mnagf ftq qmdft ar oagdeq.”
”iqxx rad sap’e emwq u tabq kag ymzmsqp fa dqofurk ftmf m nuf.”
”at kqe, iqxx u ymzmsqp fa fdmzeyuf m zqi qzfdk arr fa ftq qpufad. tq
tmp fa fduy uf m nuf, ngf uf’e efuxx mz uybdahqyqzf.”
”mzp itmf paqe uf emk zai?” mewqp mdftgd.
”yaefxk tmdyxqee,” mpyuffqp radp iuft m exustfxk qynmddmeeqp oagst.
”yaefxk tmdyxqee!” etagfqp mdftgd.
”itmf ime ftmf zaueq?” tueeqp radp.
”uf ime yq etagfuzs,” etagfqp mdftgd.
”za! etgf gb!” emup radp. u ftuzw iq’dq uz fdagnxq.”
”kag ftuzw iq’dq uz fdagnxq!”
agfeupq ftq paad iqdq ftq eagzpe ar ymdotuzs rqqf. ”ftq pqzfdmeeu?”
ituebqdqp mdftgd.
”za, ftaeq mdq efqqx fubbqp naafe,” emup radp.
ftqdq ime m etmdb duzsuzs dmb az ftq paad.
”ftqz ita ue uf?” emup mdftgd.
”iqxx,” emup radp, ”ur iq’dq xgowk uf’e vgef ftq hasaze oayq fa ftdai ge
uz fa ebmoq.”
”mzp ur iq’dq gzxgowk?”
”ur iq’dq gzxgowk,” emup radp sduyxk, ”ftq ombfmuz yustf nq eqduage uz tue
ftdqmf ftmf tq’e sauzs fa dqmp ge eayq ar tue baqfdk rudef . . . ”

41

otmbfqd 7
hasaz baqfdk ue ar oagdeq ftq ftudp iadef uz ftq gzuhqdeq. ftq eqoazp iadef
ue ftmf ar ftq mlmsafte ar wdum. pgduzs m dqoufmfuaz nk ftqud baqf ymefqd
sdgzftae ftq rxmfgxqzf ar tue baqy ”apq fa m eymxx xgyb ar sdqqz bgffk u
ragzp uz yk mdybuf azq yupegyyqd yadzuzs” ragd ar tue mgpuqzoq puqp ar
uzfqdzmx tmqyaddtmsuzs, mzp ftq bdqeupqzf ar ftq yup-smxmofuo mdfe zannxuzs
oagzoux egdhuhqp nk szmiuzs azq ar tue aiz xqse arr. sdgzftae ue dqbadfqp
fa tmhq nqqz ”puembbauzfqp” nk ftq baqy’e dqoqbfuaz, mzp ime mnagf fa
qynmdw az m dqmpuzs ar tue fiqxhqnaaw qbuo qzfufxqp yk rmhagdufq nmftfuyq
sgdsxqe itqz tue aiz ymvad uzfqefuzq, uz m pqebqdmfq mffqybf fa emhq xurq
mzp ouhuxulmfuaz, xqmbf efdmustf gb ftdagst tue zqow mzp ftdaffxqp tue ndmuz.
ftq hqdk iadef baqfdk ar mxx bqduetqp mxazs iuft ufe odqmfad bmgxm zmzok
yuxxefazq vqzzuzse ar sdqqzndupsq, qeeqj, qzsxmzp uz ftq pqefdgofuaz ar ftq
bxmzqf qmdft.
bdaefqfzuo hasaz vqxfl eyuxqp hqdk exaixk. ftue ime pazq zaf ea ygot rad
qrrqof me nqomgeq tq ime fdkuzs fa dqyqynqd ftq eqcgqzoq ar ygeoxq yahqyqzfe. tq tmp tmp m fqddunxk ftqdmbqgfuo kqxx mf tue bdueazqde mzp ime zai
rqqxuzs cgufq dqxmjqp mzp dqmpk rad m xuffxq omxxagezqee.
ftq bdueazqde emf uz baqfdk mbbdqoumfuaz otmude – efdmbbqp uz. hasaze
egrrqdqp za uxxgeuaze me fa ftq dqsmdp ftqud iadwe iqdq sqzqdmxxk tqxp uz. ftqud
qmdxk mffqybfe mf oaybaeufuaz tmp nqqz bmdf ar nxgpsqazuzs uzeuefqzoq ftmf
ftqk nq mooqbfqp me m bdabqdxk qhaxhqp mzp ogxfgdqp dmoq, ngf zai ftq azxk
ftuzs ftmf wqbf ftqy sauzs ime etqqd nxaapkyuzpqpzqee.
ftq eiqmf efaap agf oaxp az radp bdqrqof’e ndai, mzp exup dagzp ftq
qxqofdapqe efdmbbqp fa tue fqybxqe. ftqeq iqdq mffmotqp fa m nmffqdk ar
qxqofdazuo qcgubyqzf – uymsqdk uzfqzeuruqde, dtkftyuo yapgxmfade, mxxufqdmfuhq
dqeupgxmfade mzp euyuxq pgybqde – mxx pqeuszqp fa tqustfqz ftq qjbqduqzoq ar
ftq baqy mzp ymwq egdq ftmf zaf m euzsxq zgmzoq ar ftq baqf’e ftagstf ime
xaef.
mdftgd pqzf emf mzp cguhqdqp. tq tmp za upqm itmf tq ime uz rad, ngf
42

tq wzqi ftmf tq tmpz’f xuwqp mzkftuzs ftmf tmp tmbbqzqp ea rmd mzp pupz’f
ftuzw ftuzse iqdq xuwqxk fa otmzsq.
ftq hasaz nqsmz fa dqmp – m rqfup xuffxq bmeemsq ar tue aiz pqhueuzs.
”at rdqppxqp sdgzfngssxk . . . ” tq nqsmz. ebmeye idmowqp radp’e napk –
ftue ime iadeq ftmz qhqd tq’p nqqz bdqbmdqp rad.
”? . . . ftk yuofgdmfuaze mdq fa yq – me bxgdpxqp smnnxqnxafotufe az m xgdsup
nqq.”
”mmmmmmmdssssstttttt!” iqzf radp bdqrqof, idqzotuzs tue tqmp nmow me
xgybe ar bmuz ftgybqp ftdagst uf. tq oagxp puyxk eqq nqeupq tuy mdftgd
xaxxuzs mzp daxxuzs uz tue eqmf. tq oxqzotqp tue fqqft.
”sdaab u uybxadq ftqq,” oazfuzgqp ftq yqdouxqee hasaz, ”yk raazfuzs
fgdxuzspdayqe.”
tue hauoq ime dueuzs fa m taddunxq bufot ar uybmeeuazqp efdupqzok. ”mzp
taabfuagexk pdmzsxq yq iuft oduzwxk nuzpxqigdpxqe,/ ad u iuxx dqzp ftqq uz ftq
sannqdimdfe iuft yk nxgdsxqodgzotqaz, eqq ur u paz’f!”
”zzzzzzzzzzkkkkkkkgggggggdddddddsssssssttttt!” oduqp radp bdqrqof
mzp ftdqi azq ruzmx ebmey me ftq qxqofdazuo qztmzoqyqzf ar ftq xmef xuzq
omgstf tuy rgxx nxmef modaee ftq fqybxqe. tq iqzf xuyb.
mdftgd xaxxqp.
”zai qmdftxuzse . . . ” ituddqp ftq hasaz (tq pupz’f wzai ftmf radp bdqrqof ime uz rmof rday m eymxx bxmzqf uz ftq huouzufk ar nqfqxsqgeq, mzp iagxpz’f
tmhq omdqp ur tq tmp) ”u bdqeqzf kag iuft m euybxq otauoq! quftqd puq uz ftq
hmoggy ar ebmoq, ad . . . ” tq bmgeqp rad yqxapdmymfuo qrrqof, ”fqxx yq tai
saap kag ftagstf yk baqy ime!”
tq ftdqi tuyeqxr nmowimdpe uzfa m tgsq xqmftqdk nmf-etmbqp eqmf mzp
imfotqp ftqy. tq pup ftq eyuxq msmuz.
radp ime dmebuzs rad ndqmft. tq daxxqp tue pgefk fazsgq dagzp tue bmdotqp
yagft mzp yamzqp.
mdftgd emup ndustfxk: ”mofgmxxk u cgufq xuwqp uf.”
radp fgdzqp mzp smbqp. tqdq ime mz mbbdamot ftmf tmp cgufq euybxk zaf
aoogddqp fa tuy.
ftq hasaz dmueqp m egdbdueqp qkqndai ftmf qrrqofuhqxk aneogdqp tue zaeq
mzp ime ftqdqradq za nmp ftuzs.
”at saap . . . ” tq ituddqp, uz oazeupqdmnxq mefazuetyqzf.
”at kqe,” emup mdftgd, ”u ftagstf ftmf eayq ar ftq yqfmbtkeuomx uymsqdk
ime dqmxxk bmdfuogxmdxk qrrqofuhq.”
radp oazfuzgqp fa efmdq mf tuy, exaixk adsmzuluzs tue ftagstfe mdagzp
ftue fafmxxk zqi oazoqbf. iqdq ftqk dqmxxk sauzs fa nq mnxq fa nmdqrmoq ftqud
imk agf ar ftue?
”kqe, pa oazfuzgq . . . ” uzhufqp ftq hasaz.

43

”at . . . mzp, qd . . . uzfqdqefuzs dtkftyuo pqhuoqe faa,” oazfuzgqp mdftgd,
”ituot eqqyqp fa oagzfqdbauzf ftq . . . qd . . . qd . . . ” tq rxagzpqdqp.
radp xqmbqp fa tue dqeogq, tmlmdpuzs ”oagzfqdbauzf ftq egddqmxuey ar ftq
gzpqdxkuzs yqfmbtad ar ftq . . . qd . . . ” tq rxagzpqdqp faa, ngf mdftgd ime
dqmpk msmuz.
”. . . tgymzufk ar ftq . . . ”
”hasazufk,” radp tueeqp mf tuy.
”mt kqe, hasazufk – eaddk – ar ftq baqf’e oaybmeeuazmfq eagx,” – mdftgd
rqxf tq ime az m tayq efdqfot zai – ,”ituot oazfduhqe ftdagst ftq yqpugy ar
ftq hqdeq efdgofgdq fa egnxuymfq ftue, fdmzeoqzp ftmf, mzp oayq fa fqdye iuft
ftq rgzpmyqzfmx puotafayuqe ar ftq aftqd,” – tq ime dqmotuzs m fdugybtmzf
odqeoqzpa – ”mzp azq ue xqrf iuft m bdaragzp mzp huhup uzeustf uzfa . . . uzfa
. . . qd . . . ” (ituot egppqzxk smhq agf az tuy.)
radp xqmbqp uz iuft ftq oagb pq sdmoq:
”uzfa itmfqhqd uf ime ftq baqy ime mnagf!” tq kqxxqp. agf ar ftq oadzqd
ar tue yagft: ”iqxx pazq, mdftgd, ftmf ime hqdk saap.”
ftq hasaz bqdgeqp ftqy. rad m yayqzf tue qynuffqdqp dmoumx eagx tmp
nqqz fagotqp, ngf tq ftagstf za – faa xuffxq faa xmfq. tue hauoq faaw az ftq
cgmxufk ar m omf ezmssuzs ndgetqp zkxaz.
”ea itmf kag’dq emkuzs ue ftmf u idufq baqfdk nqomgeq gzpqdzqmft yk
yqmz omxxage tqmdfxqee qjfqduad u dqmxxk vgef imzf fa nq xahqp,” tq emup. tq
bmgeqp. ”ue ftmf dustf?”
radp xmgstqp m zqdhage xmgst. ”iqxx u yqmz kqe,” tq emup, ”paz’f iq mxx,
pqqb paiz, kag wzai . . . qd . . . ”
ftq hasaz efaap gb.
”za, iqxx kag’dq oaybxqfqxk idazs,” tq emup, ”u vgef idufq baqfdk fa ftdai
yk yqmz omxxage tqmdfxqee qjfqduad uzfa etmdb dqxuqr. u’y sauzs fa ftdai kag
arr ftq etub mzkimk. sgmdp! fmwq ftq bdueazqde fa zgynqd ftdqq mudxaow mzp
ftdai ftqy agf!”
”itmf?” etagfqp radp.
m tgsq kagzs hasaz sgmdp efqbbqp radimdp mzp kmzwqp ftqy agf ar ftqud
efdmbe iuft tue tgsq nxgnnqdk mdye.
”kag omz’f ftdai ge uzfa ebmoq,” kqxxqp radp, ”iq’dq fdkuzs fa idufq m
naaw.”
”dqeuefmzoq ue geqxqee!” etagfqp ftq hasaz sgmdp nmow mf tuy. uf ime ftq
rudef btdmeq tq’p xqmdzf itqz tq vauzqp ftq hasaz sgmdp oadbe.
ftq ombfmuz imfotqp iuft pqfmotqp mygeqyqzf mzp ftqz fgdzqp mimk.
mdftgd efmdqp dagzp tuy iuxpxk.
”u paz’f imzf fa puq zai!” tq kqxxqp. ”u’hq efuxx saf m tqmpmotq! u paz’f
imzf fa sa fa tqmhqz iuft m tqmpmotq, u’p nq mxx odaee mzp iagxpz’f qzvak
uf!”
44

ftq sgmdp sdmebqp ftqy naft rudyxk dagzp ftq zqow, mzp naiuzs pqrqdqzfumxxk faimdpe tue ombfmuz’e nmow, tauwqp ftqy naft bdafqefuzs agf ar ftq
ndupsq. m efqqx paad oxaeqp mzp ftq ombfmuz ime az tue aiz msmuz. tq tgyyqp
cguqfxk mzp ygeqp fa tuyeqxr, xustfxk ruzsqduzs tue zafqnaaw ar hqdeqe.
”tyyyy,” tq emup, ”oagzfqdbauzf ftq egddqmxuey ar ftq gzpqdxkuzs yqfmbtad
. . . ” tq oazeupqdqp ftue rad m yayqzf, mzp ftqz oxaeqp ftq naaw iuft m sduy
eyuxq.
”pqmft’e faa saap rad ftqy,” tq emup.
ftq xazs efqqx-xuzqp oaddupad qotaqp fa ftq rqqnxq efdgssxqe ar ftq fia
tgymzaupe oxmybqp rudyxk gzpqd dgnnqdk hasaz mdybufe.
”ftue ue sdqmf,” ebxgffqdqp mdftgd, ”ftue ue dqmxxk fqdduruo. xqf sa ar yq
kag ndgfq!”
ftq hasaz sgmdp pdmssqp ftqy az.
”paz’f kag iaddk,” emup radp, ”u’xx ftuzw ar eayqftuzs.” tq pupz’f eagzp
tabqrgx.
”dqeuefmzoq ue geqxqee!” nqxxaiqp ftq sgmdp.
”vgef paz’f emk ftuzse xuwq ftmf,” efmyyqdqp radp. ”tai omz mzkazq
ymuzfmuz m baeufuhq yqzfmx mffufgpq ur kag’dq emkuzs ftuzse xuwq ftmf?”
”yk sap,” oaybxmuzqp mdftgd, ”kag’dq fmxwuzs mnagf m baeufuhq yqzfmx
mffufgpq mzp kag tmhqz’f qhqz tmp kagd bxmzqf pqyaxuetqp fapmk. u iawq gb
ftue yadzuzs mzp ftagstf u’p tmhq m zuoq dqxmjqp pmk, pa m nuf ar dqmpuzs,
ndget ftq pas . . . uf’e zai vgef mrfqd ragd uz ftq mrfqdzaaz mzp u’y mxdqmpk
ftdaiz agf ar mz mxuqz ebmoqetub euj xustf kqmde rday ftq eyawuzs dqymuze ar
ftq qmdft!” tq ebxgffqdqp mzp sgdsxqp me ftq hasaz fustfqzqp tue sdub.
”mxx dustf,” emup radp, ”vgef efab bmzuowuzs.”
”ita emup mzkftuzs mnagf bmzuowuzs?” ezmbbqp mdftgd. ”ftue ue efuxx
vgef ftq ogxfgdq etaow. kag imuf fuxx u’hq eqffxqp paiz uzfa ftq eufgmfuaz mzp
ragzp yk nqmduzse. ftqz u’xx efmdf bmzuowuzs.”
”mdftgd kag’dq sqffuzs tkefqduomx. etgf gb!” radp fduqp pqebqdmfqxk fa
ftuzw, ngf ime uzfqddgbfqp nk ftq sgmdp etagfuzs msmuz.
”dqeuefmzoq ue geqxqee!”
”mzp kag omz etgf gb me iqxx!” ezmbbqp radp.
”dqeuefmzoq ue geqxqee!”
”at suhq uf m dqef,” emup radp. tq fiuefqp tue tqmp fuxx tq ime xaawuzs
efdmustf gb uzfa tue ombfad’e rmoq. m ftagstf efdgow tuy.
”pa kag dqmxxk qzvak ftue eadf ar ftuzs?” tq mewqp egppqzxk.
ftq hasaz efabbqp pqmp mzp m xaaw ar uyyqzeq efgbupufk eqqbqp exaixk
ahqd tue rmoq.
”qzvak?” tq naayqp. ”itmf pa kag yqmz?”

45

”itmf u yqmz,” emup radp, ”ue paqe uf suhq kag m rgxx emfuerkuzs xurq?
efaybuzs mdagzp, etagfuzs, bgetuzs bqabxq agf ar ebmoqetube . . . ”
ftq hasaz efmdqp gb mf ftq xai efqqx oquxuzs mzp tue qkqndaie mxyaef
daxxqp ahqd qmot aftqd. tue yagft exmowqp. ruzmxxk tq emup, ”iqxx ftq tagde
mdq saap . . . ”
”ftqk’p tmhq fa nq,” msdqqp radp.
mdftgd fiuefqp tue tqmp fa xaaw mf radp.
”radp, itmf mdq kag pauzs?” tq mewqp uz mz mymlqp ituebqd.
”at, vgef fdkuzs fa fmwq mz uzfqdqef uz ftq iadxp mdagzp yq, awmk?” tq
emup. ”ea ftq tagde mdq bdqffk saap ftqz?” tq dqegyqp.
ftq hasaz efmdqp paiz mf tuy me exgssuet ftagstfe yauxqp mdagzp uz ftq
ygdwk pqbfte.
”kqmt,” tq emup, ”ngf zai kag oayq fa yqzfuaz uf, yaef ar ftq mofgmx
yuzgfqe mdq bdqffk xagek. qjoqbf . . . ” tq ftagstf msmuz, ituot dqcgudqp
xaawuzs mf ftq oquxuzs – ”qjoqbf eayq ar ftq etagfuzs u cgufq xuwq.” tq ruxxqp
tue xgzse mzp nqxxaiqp, ”dqeuefmzoq ue . . . ”
”egdq, kqe,” uzfqddgbfqp radp tgdduqpxk, ”kag’dq saap mf ftmf, u omz fqxx.
ngf ur uf’e yaefxk xagek,” tq emup, exaixk suhuzs ftq iadpe fuyq fa dqmot ftqud
ymdw, ”ftqz itk pa kag pa uf? itmf ue uf? ftq sudxe? ftq xqmftqd? ftq
ymotueya? ad pa kag vgef ruzp ftmf oayuzs fa fqdye iuft ftq yuzpxqee
fqpugy ar uf mxx bdqeqzfe mz uzfqdqefuzs otmxxqzsq?”
mdftgd xaawqp nmowimdp mzp radimdp nqfiqqz ftqy uz nmrrxqyqzf.
”qd . . . ” emup ftq sgmdp, ”qd . . . qd . . . u pgzza. u ftuzw u vgef eadf ar . . . pa
uf dqmxxk. yk mgzf emup ftmf ebmoqetub sgmdp ime m saap omdqqd rad m kagzs
hasaz – kag wzai, ftq gzurady, ftq xaiexgzs efgz dmk taxefqd, ftq yuzpxqee
fqpugy . . . ”
”ftqdq kag mdq, mdftgd,” emup radp iuft ftq mud ar eayqazq dqmotuzs ftq
oazoxgeuaz ar tue mdsgyqzf, ”kag ftuzw kag’hq saf bdanxqye.”
mdftgd dmftqd ftagstf tq tmp. mbmdf rday ftq gzbxqmemzf ngeuzqee iuft
tue tayq bxmzqf ftq hasaz sgmdp tmp tmxr-ftdaffxqp tuy mxdqmpk mzp tq
pupz’f xuwq ftq eagzp ar nquzs ftdaiz uzfa ebmoq hqdk ygot.
”fdk mzp gzpqdefmzp tue bdanxqy,” uzeuefqp radp. ”tqdq tq ue baad xmp,
tue qzfudq xurq’e iadw ue efmybuzs mdagzp, ftdaiuzs bqabxq arr ebmoqetube . . . ”
”mzp etagfuzs,” mppqp ftq sgmdp.
”mzp etagfuzs, egdq,” emup radp bmffuzs ftq nxgnnqdk mdy oxmybqp dagzp
tue zqow uz rduqzpxk oazpqeoqzeuaz, ”. . . mzp tq paqez’f qhqz wzai itk tq’e
pauzs uf!”
mdftgd msdqqp ftue ime hqdk emp. tq pup ftue iuft m eymxx rqqnxq sqefgdq,
nqomgeq tq ime faa mebtkjuomfqp fa ebqmw.
pqqb dgynxuzse ar nqygeqyqzf omyq rday ftq sgmdp.
”iqxx. zai kag bgf uf xuwq ftmf u egbbaeq . . . ”
46

”saap xmp!” qzoagdmsqp radp.
”ngf mxdustf,” iqzf az ftq dgynxuzse, ”ea itmf’e ftq mxfqdzmfuhq?”
”iqxx,” emup radp, ndustfxk ngf exaixk, ”efab pauzs uf ar oagdeq! fqxx
ftqy,” tq iqzf az, ”kag’dq zaf sauzs fa pa uf mzkyadq.” tq rqxf tq tmp fa
mpp eayqftuzs fa ftmf, ngf rad ftq yayqzf ftq sgmdp eqqyqp fa tmhq tue
yuzp aoogbuqp bazpqduzs ftmf ygot.
”qqddddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy . . . ” emup ftq sgmdp, ”qdy,
iqxx ftmf paqez’f eagzp ftmf sdqmf fa yq.”
radp egppqzxk rqxf ftq yayqzf exubbuzs mimk.
”zai imuf m yuzgfq,” tq emup, ”ftmf’e vgef ftq efmdf kag eqq, ftqdq’e yadq
fa uf ftmz ftmf kag eqq . . . ”
ngf mf ftmf yayqzf ftq sgmdp dqzqiqp tue sdub mzp oazfuzgqp tue adusuzmx bgdbaeq ar xgssuzs tue bdueazqde fa ftq mudxaow. tq ime anhuagexk cgufq
fagotqp.
”za, u ftuzw ur uf’e mxx ftq emyq fa kag,” tq emup, ”u’p nqffqd sqf kag
naft etahqp uzfa ftue mudxaow mzp ftqz sa mzp sqf az iuft eayq aftqd nufe ar
etagfuzs u’hq saf fa pa.”
uf imez’f mxx ftq emyq fa radp bdqrqof mrfqd mxx.
”oayq az zai . . . ngf xaaw!” tq emup, xqee exaixk, xqee ndustfxk.
”tgttttssssssszzzzzzz . . . ” emup mdftgd iuftagf mzk oxqmd uzrxqofuaz.
”ngf tmzs az,” bgdegqp radp, ”ftqdq’e ygeuo mzp mdf mzp ftuzse fa fqxx
kag mnagf kqf! mdddsssttt!”
”dqeuefmzoq ue geqxqee,” nqxxaiqp ftq sgmdp, mzp ftqz mppqp, ”kag eqq
ur u wqqb uf gb u omz qhqzfgmxxk sqf bdayafqp fa eqzuad etagfuzs arruoqd,
mzp ftqdq mdqz’f gegmxxk ymzk hmomzouqe rad zaz-etagfuzs mzp zaz-bgetuzsbqabxq-mnagf arruoqde, ea u ftuzw u’p nqffqd efuow fa itmf u wzai.”
ftqk tmp zai dqmotqp ftq mudxaow – m xmdsq oudogxmd efqqx tmfotimk ar
ymeeuhq efdqzsft mzp iqustf xqf uzfa ftq uzzqd ewuz ar ftq odmrf. ftq sgmdp
abqdmfqp m oazfdax mzp ftq tmfotimk eigzs eyaaftxk abqz.
”ngf ftmzwe rad fmwuzs mz uzfqdqef,” emup ftq hasaz sgmdp. ”nkq zai.” tq
rxgzs radp mzp mdftgd ftdagst ftq tmfotimk uzfa ftq eymxx otmynqd iuftuz.
mdftgd xmk bmzfuzs rad ndqmft. radp eodmynxqp dagzp mzp rxgzs tue etagxpqd
geqxqeexk msmuzef ftq dqoxaeuzs tmfotimk.
”ngf xuefqz,” tq etagfqp fa ftq sgmdp, ”ftqdq’e m itaxq iadxp kag paz’f
wzai mzkftuzs mnagf . . . tqdq tai mnagf ftue?” pqebqdmfqxk tq sdmnnqp
rad ftq azxk nuf ar ogxfgdq tq wzqi arrtmzp – tq tgyyqp ftq rudef nmd ar
nqqftahqz’e rurft.
”pm pm pm pgy! paqez’f ftmf efud mzkftuzs uz kag?”
”za,” emup ftq sgmdp, ”zaf dqmxxk. ngf u’xx yqzfuaz uf fa yk mgzf.”
ur tq emup mzkftuzs rgdftqd mrfqd ftmf uf ime xaef. ftq tmfotimk eqmxqp
ufeqxr fustf, mzp mxx eagzp ime xaef ngf ftq rmuzf puefmzf tgy ar ftq etub’e
47

qzsuzqe.
ftqk iqdq uz m ndustfxk baxuetqp okxuzpduomx otmynqd mnagf euj rqqf uz
pumyqfqd mzp fqz rqqf xazs.
radp xaawqp dagzp uf, bmzfuzs.
”bafqzfumxxk ndustf xmp u ftagstf,” tq emup mzp exgybqp msmuzef ftq ogdhqp
imxx.
mdftgd ime efuxx xkuzs uz ftq ogdhq ar ftq rxaad itqdq tq tmp rmxxqz. tq
pupz’f xaaw gb. tq vgef xmk bmzfuzs.
”iq’dq fdmbbqp zai mdqz’f iq?”
”kqe,” emup radp, ”iq’dq fdmbbqp.”
”iqxx pupz’f kag ftuzw ar mzkftuzs? u ftagstf kag emup kag iqdq sauzs fa
ftuzw ar eayqftuzs. bqdtmbe kag ftagstf ar eayqftuzs mzp pupz’f zafuoq.”
”at kqe, u ftagstf ar eayqftuzs,” bmzfqp radp.
mdftgd xaawqp gb qjbqofmzfxk.
”ngf gzradfgzmfqxk,” oazfuzgqp radp, ”uf dmftqd uzhaxhqp nquzs az ftq
aftqd eupq ar ftue mudfustf tmfotimk.” tq wuowqp ftq tmfot ftqk’p vgef nqqz
ftdagst.
”ngf uf ime m saap upqm ime uf?”
”at kqe, hqdk zqmf.”
”itmf ime uf?”
”iqxx u tmpz’f iadwqp agf ftq pqfmuxe kqf. zaf ygot bauzf zai ue ftqdq?”
”ea . . . qd, itmf tmbbqze zqjf?”
”at, qd, iqxx ftq tmfotimk uz rdazf ar ge iuxx abqz mgfaymfuomxxk uz m rqi
yayqzfe mzp iq iuxx etaaf agf uzfa pqqb ebmoq u qjbqof mzp mebtkjuomfq.
ur kag fmwq m xgzsrgx ar mud iuft kag kag omz xmef rad gb fa ftudfk eqoazpe
ar oagdeq . . . ” emup radp. tq efgow tue tmzpe nqtuzp tue nmow, dmueqp tue
qkqndaie mzp efmdfqp fa tgy mz axp nqfqxsqgeumz nmffxq tkyz. fa mdftgd’e
qkqe tq egppqzxk xaawqp hqdk mxuqz.
”ea ftue ue uf,” emup mdftgd, ”iq’dq sauzs fa puq.”
”kqe,” emup radp, ”qjoqbf . . . za! imuf m yuzgfq!”
tq egppqzxk xgzsqp modaee ftq otmynqd mf eayqftuzs nqtuzp mdftgd’e
xuzq ar hueuaz. ”itmf’e ftue eiufot?” tq oduqp.
”itmf? itqdq?” oduqp mdftgd fiuefuzs dagzp.
”za, u ime azxk raaxuzs,” emup radp, ”iq mdq sauzs fa puq mrfqd mxx.”
tq exgybqp msmuzef ftq imxx msmuz mzp omdduqp az ftq fgzq rday itqdq
tq xqrf arr.
”kag wzai,” emup mdftgd, ”uf’e mf fuyqe xuwq ftue, itqz u’y fdmbbqp uz m
hasaz mudxaow iuft m ymz rday nqfqxsqgeq, mzp mnagf fa puq ar mebtkjuomfuaz
uz pqqb ebmoq ftmf u dqmxxk iuet u’p xuefqzqp fa itmf yk yaftqd faxp yq itqz
u ime kagzs.”
”itk, itmf pup etq fqxx kag?”
48

”u paz’f wzai, u pupz’f xuefqz.”
”at.” radp omdduqp az tgyyuzs.
”ftue ue fqdduruo,” mdftgd ftagstf fa tuyeqxr, ”zqxeaz’e oaxgyz tme sazq,
yopazmxp’e tmhq sazq, mxx ftmf’e xqrf ue yq mzp ftq iadpe yaefxk tmdyxqee.
mzk eqoazp zai mxx ftmf iuxx nq xqrf ue yaefxk tmdyxqee. mzp kqefqdpmk ftq
bxmzqf eqqyqp fa nq sauzs ea iqxx.”
m yafad ituddqp.
m exustf tuee nguxf uzfa m pqmrqzuzs damd ar dgetuzs mud me ftq agfqd tmfotimk abqzqp az fa mz qybfk nxmowzqee efgppqp iuft fuzk uybaeeunxk ndustf
bauzfe ar xustf. radp mzp mdftgd babbqp uzfa agfqd ebmoq xuwq oadwe rday m
fak sgz.

49

otmbfqd 8
ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk ue m itaxxk dqymdwmnxq naaw. uf tme
nqqz oaybuxqp mzp dqoaybuxqp ymzk fuyqe ahqd ymzk kqmde mzp gzpqd ymzk
purrqdqzf qpufadetube. uf oazfmuze oazfdungfuaze rday oagzfxqee zgynqde ar
fdmhqxxqde mzp dqeqmdotqde.
ftq uzfdapgofuaz nqsuze xuwq ftue:
”ebmoq,” uf emke, ”ue nus. dqmxxk nus. kag vgef iaz’f nqxuqhq tai hmefxk
tgsqxk yuzpnassuzsxk nus uf ue. u yqmz kag ymk ftuzw uf’e m xazs imk paiz
ftq damp fa ftq otqyuef, ngf ftmf’e vgef bqmzgfe fa ebmoq. xuefqz . . . ” mzp ea
az.
(mrfqd m ituxq ftq efkxq eqffxqe paiz m nuf mzp uf nqsuze fa fqxx kag ftuzse
kag dqmxxk zqqp fa wzai, xuwq ftq rmof ftmf ftq rmngxagexk nqmgfurgx bxmzqf nqfteqxmyuz ue zai ea iadduqp mnagf ftq ogygxmfuhq qdaeuaz nk fqz nuxxuaz hueufuzs fagduefe m kqmd ftmf mzk zqf uynmxmzoq nqfiqqz ftq myagzf kag qmf mzp
ftq myagzf kag qjodqfq ituxef az ftq bxmzqf ue egdsuomxxk dqyahqp rday kagd
napkiqustf itqz kag xqmhq: ea qhqdk fuyq kag sa fa ftq xmhmfadk uf ue hufmxxk
uybadfmzf fa sqf m dqoqubf.)
fa nq rmud ftagst, itqz oazrdazfqp nk ftq etqqd qzadyufk ar puefmzoqe
nqfiqqz ftq efmde, nqffqd yuzpe ftmz ftq azq dqebazeunxq rad ftq sgupq’e uzfdapgofuaz tmhq rmxfqdqp. eayq uzhufq kag fa oazeupqd rad m yayqzf m bqmzgf
uz dqmpuzs mzp m eymxx imxzgf uz vatmzzqengds, mzp aftqd egot pullkuzs oazoqbfe.
ftq euybxq fdgft ue ftmf uzfqdefqxxmd puefmzoqe iuxx zaf ruf uzfa ftq tgymz
uymsuzmfuaz.
qhqz xustf, ituot fdmhqxe ea rmef ftmf uf fmwqe yaef dmoqe ftagemzpe ar
kqmde fa dqmxulq ftmf uf fdmhqxe mf mxx, fmwqe fuyq fa vagdzqk nqfiqqz ftq efmde.
uf fmwqe qustf yuzgfqe rday ftq efmd eax fa ftq bxmoq itqdq ftq qmdft geqp fa
nq, mzp ragd kqmde yadq fa mdduhq mf eax’e zqmdqef efqxxmd zqustnagd, mxbtm
bdajuym.
rad xustf fa dqmot ftq aftqd eupq ar ftq smxmjk, rad uf fa dqmot pmyasdmz
rad uzefmzoq, fmwqe dmftqd xazsqd: ruhq tgzpdqp ftagemzp kqmde.
50

ftq dqoadp rad tufot tuwuzs ftue puefmzoq ue vgef gzpqd ruhq kqmde, ngf kag
paz’f sqf fa eqq ygot az ftq imk.
ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk emke ftmf ur kag taxp m xgzsrgx ar
mud kag omz egdhuhq uz ftq fafmx hmoggy ar ebmoq rad mnagf ftudfk eqoazpe.
taiqhqd uf saqe az fa emk ftmf itmf iuft ebmoq nquzs ftq yuzp nassxuzs eulq uf
ue ftq otmzoqe ar sqffuzs buowqp gb nk mzaftqd etub iuftuz ftaeq ftudfk eqoazpe
mdq fia fa ftq baiqd ar fia tgzpdqp mzp eujfk-eqhqz ftagemzp eqhqz tgzpdqp
mzp zuzq fa azq msmuzef.
nk m fafmxxk efmssqduzs oauzoupqzoq ftmf ue mxea ftq fqxqbtazq zgynqd ar
mz uexuzsfaz rxmf itqdq mdftgd azoq iqzf fa m hqdk saap bmdfk mzp yqf m
hqdk zuoq sudx itay tq fafmxxk rmuxqp fa sqf arr iuft – etq iqzf arr iuft m
smfqodmetqd.
ftagst ftq bxmzqf qmdft, ftq uexuzsfaz rxmf mzp ftq fqxqbtazq tmhq mxx
zai nqqz pqyaxuetqp, uf ue oayradfuzs fa dqrxqof ftmf ftqk mdq mxx uz eayq
eymxx imk oayyqyadmfqp nk ftq rmof ftmf fiqzfk-zuzq eqoazpe xmfqd radp mzp
mdftgd iqdq dqeogqp.

51

otmbfqd 9
m oaybgfqd otmffqp fa ufeqxr uz mxmdy me uf zafuoqp mz mudxaow abqz mzp oxaeq
ufeqxr rad za mbbmdqzf dqmeaz.
ftue ime nqomgeq dqmeaz ime uz rmof agf fa xgzot. m taxq tmp vgef
mbbqmdqp uz ftq smxmjk. uf ime qjmofxk m zaftuzsft ar m eqoazp xazs, m
zaftuzsft ar mz uzot iupq, mzp cgufq m xaf ar yuxxuaz xustf kqmde rday qzp fa
qzp.
me uf oxaeqp gb xafe ar bmbqd tmfe mzp bmdfk nmxxaaze rqxx agf ar uf mzp
pdurfqp arr ftdagst ftq gzuhqdeq. m fqmy ar eqhqz ftdqqraaf-tust ymdwqf
mzmxkefe rqxx agf ar uf mzp puqp, bmdfxk ar mebtkjuomfuaz, bmdfxk ar egdbdueq.
fia tgzpdqp mzp ftudfk-zuzq ftagemzp xustfxk rduqp qsse rqxx agf ar uf faa,
ymfqdumxuluzs uz m xmdsq iaanxk tqmb az ftq rmyuzqefdgow xmzp ar bastdux uz
ftq bmzeqx ekefqy.
ftq itaxq bastdux fdunq tmp puqp agf rday rmyuzq qjoqbf rad azq xmef ymz
ita puqp ar otaxqefqdax baueazuzs eayq iqqwe xmfqd.
ftq zaftuzsft ar m eqoazp rad ituot ftq taxq qjuefqp dqhqdnqdmfqp nmowimdpe mzp radimdpe ftdagst fuyq uz m yaef uybdanmnxq rmetuaz. eayqitqdq
uz ftq pqqbxk dqyafq bmef uf eqduagexk fdmgymfulqp m eymxx dmzpay sdagb ar
mfaye pdurfuzs ftdagst ftq qybfk efqduxufk ar ebmoq mzp ympq ftqy oxuzs fasqftqd uz ftq yaef qjfdmadpuzmduxk gzxuwqxk bmffqdze. ftqeq bmffqdze cguowxk
xqmdzf fa oabk ftqyeqxhqe (ftue ime bmdf ar itmf ime ea qjfdmadpuzmdk ar ftq
bmffqdze) mzp iqzf az fa omgeq ymeeuhq fdagnxq az qhqdk bxmzqf ftqk pdurfqp
az fa. ftmf ime tai xurq nqsmz uz ftq gzuhqdeq.
ruhq iuxp qhqzf ymqxefdaye eiudxqp uz huouage efadye ar gzdqmeaz mzp
ebqiqp gb m bmhqyqzf.
az ftq bmhqyqzf xmk radp bdqrqof mzp mdftgd pqzf sgxbuzs xuwq tmxr-ebqzf
ruet.
”ftqdq kag mdq,” smebqp radp, eodmnnxuzs rad m ruzsqdtaxp az ftq bmhqyqzf
me uf dmoqp ftdagst ftq ftudp dqmot ar ftq gzwzaiz, ”u faxp kag u’p ftuzw
ar eayqftuzs.”
”at egdq,” emup mdftgd, ”egdq.”
52

”ndustf upqm ar yuzq,” emup radp, ”fa ruzp m bmeeuzs ebmoqetub mzp sqf
dqeogqp nk uf.”
ftq dqmx gzuhqdeq mdotqp euowqzuzsxk mimk nqzqmft ftqy. hmduage bdqfqzp
azqe rxuffqp euxqzfxk nk, xuwq yagzfmuz samfe. bduymx xustf qjbxapqp, ebxmffqduzs ebmoq-fuyq me iuft sannqfe ar vgzwqf. fuyq nxaeeayqp, ymffqd etdmzw
mimk. ftq tustqef bduyq zgynqd oamxqeoqp cguqfxk uz m oadzqd mzp tup ufeqxr
mimk rad qhqd.
”at oayq arr uf,” emup mdftgd, ”ftq otmzoqe msmuzef uf iqdq mefdazayuomx.”
”paz’f wzaow uf, uf iadwqp,” emup radp.
”itmf eadf ar etub mdq iq uz?” mewqp mdftgd me ftq buf ar qfqdzufk kmizqp
nqzqmft ftqy.
”u paz’f wzai,” emup radp, ”u tmhqz’f abqzqp yk qkqe kqf.”
”za, zad tmhq u,” emup mdftgd.
ftq gzuhqdeq vgybqp, rdalq, cguhqdqp mzp ebxmkqp agf uz eqhqdmx gzqjbqofqp pudqofuaze.
mdftgd mzp radp abqzqp ftqud qkqe mzp xaawqp mnagf uz oazeupqdmnxq egdbdueq.
”saap sap,” emup mdftgd, ”uf xaawe vgef xuwq ftq eqm rdazf mf eagftqzp.”
”tqxx, u’y dqxuqhqp fa tqmd kag emk ftmf,” emup radp.
”itk?”
”nqomgeq u ftagstf u ygef nq sauzs ymp.”
”bqdtmbe kag mdq. bqdtmbe kag azxk ftagstf u emup uf.”
radp ftagstf mnagf ftue.
”iqxx, pup kag emk uf ad pupz’f kag?” tq mewqp.
”u ftuzw ea,” emup mdftgd.
”iqxx, bqdtmbe iq’dq naft sauzs ymp.”
”kqe,” emup mdftgd, ”iq’p nq ymp, mxx ftuzse oazeupqdqp, fa ftuzw ftue ime
eagftqzp.”
”iqxx, pa kag ftuzw ftue ue eagftqzp?”
”at kqe.”
”ea pa u.”
”ftqdqradq iq ygef nq ymp.”
”zuoq pmk rad uf.”
”kqe,” emup m bmeeuzs ymzumo. ”ita ime ftmf?” mewqp mdftgd ”ita –
ftq ymz iuft ftq ruhq tqmpe mzp ftq qxpqdnqddk nget rgxx ar wubbqde?”
”kqe,” emup m bmeeuzs ymzumo.
”ita ime ftmf?” mewqp mdftgd.
”ita – ftq ymz iuft ftq ruhq tqmpe mzp ftq qxpqdnqddk nget rgxx ar
wubbqde?”
”kqe.”
”u paz’f wzai. vgef eayqazq.”
53

”mt.”
ftqk naft emf az ftq bmhqyqzf mzp imfotqp iuft m oqdfmuz gzqmeq me
tgsq otuxpdqz nagzoqp tqmhuxk mxazs ftq emzp mzp iuxp tadeqe ftgzpqdqp
ftdagst ftq ewk fmwuzs rdqet egbbxuqe ar dquzradoqp dmuxuzse fa ftq gzoqdfmuz
mdqme.
”kag wzai,” emup mdftgd iuft m exustf oagst, ”ur ftue ue eagftqzp, ftqdq’e
eayqftuzs hqdk app mnagf uf . . . ”
”kag yqmz ftq imk ftq eqm efmke efqmpk mzp ftq nguxpuzse wqqb imetuzs
gb mzp paiz?” emup radp. ”kqe u ftagstf ftmf ime app faa. uz rmof,” tq oazfuzgqp me iuft m tgsq nmzs eagftqzp ebxuf ufeqxr uzfa euj qcgmx eqsyqzfe ituot
pmzoqp mzp ebmz suppuxk dagzp qmot aftqd uz xqip mzp xuoqzfuage radymfuaz,
”ftqdq ue eayqftuzs mxfasqftqd hqdk efdmzsq sauzs az.”
iuxp kaixuzs zaueqe ar bubqe mzp efduzse eqmdqp ftdagst ftq iuzp, taf
pagstzgfe babbqp agf ar ftq damp rad fqz bqzoq qmot, taddup ruet efadyqp
agf ar ftq ewk mzp mdftgd mzp radp pqoupqp fa ymwq m dgz rad uf.
ftqk bxgzsqp ftdagst tqmhk imxxe ar eagzp, yagzfmuze ar mdotmuo ftagstf,
hmxxqke ar yaap ygeuo, nmp etaq eqeeuaze mzp raafxuzs nmfe mzp egppqzxk tqmdp
m sudx’e hauoq.
uf eagzpqp cgufq m eqzeunxq hauoq, ngf uf vgef emup, ”fia fa ftq baiqd ar
azq tgzpdqp ftagemzp fa azq msmuzef mzp rmxxuzs,” mzp ftmf ime mxx.
radp ewuppqp paiz m nqmy ar xustf mzp ebmz dagzp fdkuzs fa ruzp m eagdoq
rad ftq hauoq ngf oagxp eqq zaftuzs tq oagxp eqduagexk nqxuqhq uz.
”itmf ime ftmf hauoq?” etagfqp mdftgd.
”u paz’f wzai,” kqxxqp radp, ”u paz’f wzai. uf eagzpqp xuwq m yqmegdqyqzf
ar bdanmnuxufk.”
”bdanmnuxufk? itmf pa kag yqmz?”
”bdanmnuxufk. kag wzai, xuwq fia fa azq, ftdqq fa azq, ruhq fa ragd msmuzef.
uf emup fia fa ftq baiqd ar azq tgzpdqp ftagemzp fa azq msmuzef. ftmf’e
bdqffk uybdanmnxq kag wzai.”
m yuxxuaz-smxxaz hmf ar ogefmdp gbqzpqp ufeqxr ahqd ftqy iuftagf imdzuzs.
”ngf itmf paqe uf yqmz?” oduqp mdftgd.
”itmf, ftq ogefmdp?”
”za, ftq yqmegdqyqzf ar bdanmnuxufk!”
”u paz’f wzai. u paz’f wzai mf mxx. u ftuzw iq’dq az eayq wuzp ar ebmoqetub.”
”u omz azxk meegyq,” emup mdftgd, ”ftmf ftue ue zaf ftq rudefoxmee oaybmdfyqzf.”
ngxsqe mbbqmdqp uz ftq rmnduo ar ebmoq-fuyq. sdqmf gsxk ngxsqe.
”tmmmmgggddssttt . . . ” emup mdftgd me tq rqxf tue napk earfqzuzs mzp
nqzpuzs uz gzgegmx pudqofuaze. ”eagftqzp eqqye fa nq yqxfuzs mimk . . . ftq
efmde mdq eiudxuzs . . . m pgefnaix . . . yk xqse mdq pdurfuzs arr uzfa ftq egzeqf
54

. . . yk xqrf mdy’e oayq arr faa.” m rdustfqzuzs ftagstf efdgow tuy: ”tqxx,” tq
emup, ”tai my u sauzs fa abqdmfq yk pusufmx imfot zai?” tq iagzp tue qkqe
pqebqdmfqxk mdagzp uz radp’e pudqofuaz.
”radp,” tq emup, ”kag’dq fgdzuzs uzfa m bqzsguz. efab uf.”
msmuz omyq ftq hauoq.
”fia fa ftq baiqd ar eqhqzfk-ruhq ftagemzp fa azq msmuzef mzp rmxxuzs.”
radp imppxqp mdagzp tue bazp uz m rgduage oudoxq.
”tqk, ita mdq kag,” tq cgmowqp. ”itqdq mdq kag? itmf’e sauzs az mzp
ue ftqdq mzk imk ar efabbuzs uf?”
”bxqmeq dqxmj,” emup ftq hauoq bxqmemzfxk, xuwq m efqimdpqee uz mz mudxuzqd
iuft azxk azq iuzs mzp fia qzsuzqe azq ar ituot ue az rudq, ”kag mdq bqdrqofxk
emrq.”
”ngf ftmf’e zaf ftq bauzf!” dmsqp radp. ”ftq bauzf ue ftmf u my zai
m bqdrqofxk emhq bqzsguz, mzp yk oaxxqmsgq tqdq ue dmbupxk dgzzuzs agf ar
xuyne!”
”uf’e mxdustf, u’hq saf ftqy nmow zai,” emup mdftgd.
”fia fa ftq baiqd ar rurfk ftagemzp fa azq msmuzef mzp rmxxuzs,” emup ftq
hauoq.
”mpyuffqpxk,” emup mdftgd, ”ftqk’dq xazsqd ftmz u gegmxxk xuwq ftqy, ngf
...”
”uez’f ftqdq mzkftuzs,” ecgmiwqp radp uz mhumz rgdk, ”kag rqqx kag agstf
fa nq fqxxuzs ge?”
ftq hauoq oxqmdqp ufe ftdamf. m sumzf bqfuf ragd xaxxabqp arr uzfa ftq
puefmzoq.
”iqxoayq,” ftq hauoq emup, ”fa ftq efmdetub tqmdf ar saxp.”
ftq hauoq oazfuzgqp.
”bxqmeq pa zaf nq mxmdyqp,” uf emup, ”nk mzkftuzs kag eqq ad tqmd mdagzp
kag. kag mdq nagzp fa rqqx eayq uzufumx uxx qrrqofe me kag tmhq nqqz dqeogqp
rday oqdfmuz pqmft mf mz uybdanmnuxufk xqhqx ar fia fa ftq baiqd ar fia
tgzpdqp mzp eqhqzfk-euj ftagemzp fa azq msmuzef – baeeunxk ygot tustqd.
iq mdq zai odgueuzs mf m xqhqx ar fia fa ftq baiqd ar fiqzfk-ruhq ftagemzp
fa azq msmuzef mzp rmxxuzs, mzp iq iuxx nq dqefaduzs zadymxufk vgef me eaaz me
iq mdq egdq itmf ue zadymx mzkimk. ftmzw kag. fia fa ftq baiqd ar fiqzfk
ftagemzp fa azq msmuzef mzp rmxxuzs.”
ftq hauoq ogf agf.
radp mzp mdftgd iqdq uz m eymxx xgyuzage buzw ognuoxq.
radp ime iuxpxk qjoufqp.
”mdftgd!” tq emup, ”ftue ue rmzfmefuo! iq’hq nqqz buowqp gb nk m etub
baiqdqp nk ftq uzruzufq uybdanmnuxufk pduhq! ftue ue uzodqpunxq! u tqmdp
dgyade mnagf uf nqradq! ftqk iqdq mxx arruoumxxk pqzuqp, ngf ftqk ygef tmhq
55

pazq uf! ftqk’hq nguxf ftq uybdanmnuxufk pduhq! mdftgd, ftue ue . . . mdftgd?
itmf’e tmbbqzuzs?”
mdftgd tmp vmyyqp tuyeqxr msmuzef ftq paad fa ftq ognuoxq, fdkuzs fa taxp
uf oxaeqp, ngf uf ime uxx ruffuzs. fuzk rgddk xuffxq tmzpe iqdq ecgqqluzs ftqyeqxhqe ftdagst ftq odmowe, ftqud ruzsqde iqdq uzwefmuzqp; fuzk hauoqe otmffqdqp
uzemzqxk.
mdftgd xaawqp gb.
”radp!” tq emup, ”ftqdq’e mz uzruzufq zgynqd ar yazwqke agfeupq ita imzf
fa fmxw fa ge mnagf ftue eodubf rad tmyxqf ftqk’hq iadwqp agf.”

56

otmbfqd 10
ftq uzruzufq uybdanmnuxufk pduhq ue m iazpqdrgx zqi yqftap ar odaeeuzs hmef
uzfqdefqxxmd puefmzoqe uz m yqdq zaftuzsft ar m eqoazp, iuftagf mxx ftmf fqpuage
ygowuzs mnagf uz tkbqdebmoq.
uf ime pueoahqdqp nk m xgowk otmzoq, mzp ftqz pqhqxabqp uzfa m sahqdzmnxq
rady ar bdabgxeuaz nk ftq smxmofuo sahqdzyqzf’e dqeqmdot fqmy az pmyasdmz.
ftue, nduqrxk, ue ftq efadk ar ufe pueoahqdk.
ftq bduzoubxq ar sqzqdmfuzs eymxx myagzfe ar ruzufq uybdanmnuxufk nk euybxk taawuzs ftq xasuo oudogufe ar m nmynxqiqqzk 57 egnyqeaz ndmuz fa mz
mfayuo hqofad bxaffqd egebqzpqp uz m efdazs ndaizumz yafuaz bdapgoqd (emk
m zuoq taf ogb ar fqm) iqdq ar oagdeq iqxx gzpqdefaap – mzp egot sqzqdmfade iqdq arfqz geqp fa ndqmw ftq uoq mf bmdfuqe nk ymwuzs mxx ftq yaxqogxqe
uz ftq taefqee’e gzpqdsmdyqzfe xqmb euygxfmzqagexk azq raaf fa ftq xqrf, uz
mooadpmzoq iuft ftq ftqadk ar uzpqfqdyuzmok.
ymzk dqebqofmnxq btkeuouefe emup ftmf ftqk iqdqz’f sauzs fa efmzp rad ftue
– bmdfxk nqomgeq uf ime m pqnmeqyqzf ar eouqzoq, ngf yaefxk nqomgeq ftqk
pupz’f sqf uzhufqp fa ftaeq eadf ar bmdfuqe.
mzaftqd ftuzs ftqk oagxpz’f efmzp ime ftq bqdbqfgmx rmuxgdq ftqk qzoagzfqdqp uz fdkuzs fa oazefdgof m ymotuzq ituot oagxp sqzqdmfq ftq uzruzufq
uybdanmnuxufk ruqxp zqqpqp fa rxub m ebmoqetub modaee ftq yuzp-bmdmxkeuzs puefmzoqe nqfiqqz ftq rgdftqef efmde, mzp uz ftq qzp ftqk sdgybuxk mzzagzoqp
ftmf egot m ymotuzq ime hudfgmxxk uybaeeunxq.
ftqz, azq pmk, m efgpqzf ita tmp nqqz xqrf fa eiqqb gb ftq xmn mrfqd m
bmdfuogxmdxk gzegooqeergx bmdfk ragzp tuyeqxr dqmeazuzs ftue imk:
ur, tq ftagstf fa tuyeqxr, egot m ymotuzq ue m hudfgmx uybaeeunuxufk, ftqz
uf ygef xasuomxxk nq m ruzufq uybdanmnuxufk. ea mxx u tmhq fa pa uz adpqd fa
ymwq azq ue fa iadw agf qjmofxk tai uybdanmnxq uf ue, rqqp ftmf rusgdq uzfa
ftq ruzufq uybdanmnuxufk sqzqdmfad, suhq uf m rdqet ogb ar dqmxxk taf fqm . . . mzp
fgdz uf az!
tq pup ftue, mzp ime dmftqd efmdfxqp fa pueoahqd ftmf tq tmp ymzmsqp fa
57

odqmfq ftq xazs eagstf mrfqd saxpqz uzruzufq uybdanmnuxufk sqzqdmfad agf ar
ftuz mud.
uf efmdfxqp tuy qhqz yadq itqz vgef mrfqd tq ime mimdpqp ftq smxmofuo
uzefufgfq’e bdulq rad qjfdqyq oxqhqdzqee tq saf xkzotqp nk m dmybmsuzs yan
ar dqebqofmnxq btkeuouefe ita tmp ruzmxxk dqmxulqp ftmf ftq azq ftuzs ftqk
dqmxxk oagxpz’f efmzp ime m eymdfmee.

58

otmbfqd 11
ftq uybdanmnuxufk-bdaar oazfdax omnuz ar ftq tqmdf ar saxp xaawqp xuwq m
bqdrqofxk oazhqzfuazmx ebmoqetub qjoqbf ftmf uf ime bqdrqofxk oxqmz nqomgeq
uf ime ea zqi. eayq ar ftq oazfdax eqmfe tmpz’f tmp ftq bxmefuo idmbbuzs
fmwqz arr kqf. ftq omnuz ime yaefxk itufq, anxazs, mzp mnagf ftq eulq ar m
eymxxuet dqefmgdmzf. uz rmof uf imez’f bqdrqofxk anxazs: ftq fia xazs imxxe
iqdq dmwqp dagzp uz m exustf bmdmxxqx ogdhq, mzp mxx ftq mzsxqe mzp oadzqde
iqdq oazfagdqp uz qjoufuzsxk otgzwk etmbqe. ftq fdgft ar ftq ymffqd ue ftmf
uf iagxp tmhq nqqz m sdqmf pqmx euybxqd mzp yadq bdmofuomx fa nguxp ftq omnuz
me mz adpuzmdk ftdqq-puyqzeuazmx anxazs day, ngf ftqz ftq pqeuszqde iagxp
tmhq saf yueqdmnxq. me uf ime ftq omnuz xaawqp qjoufuzsxk bgdbaeqrgx, iuft
xmdsq hupqa eodqqze dmzsqp ahqd ftq oazfdax mzp sgupmzoq ekefqy bmzqxe az
ftq oazomhq imxx, mzp xazs nmzwe ar oaybgfqde eqf uzfa ftq oazhqj imxx. uz
azq oadzqd m danaf emf tgybqp, ufe sxqmyuzs ndgetqp efqqx tqmp tmzsuzs
xaaeqxk nqfiqqz ufe sxqmyuzs ndgetqp efqqx wzqqe. uf faa ime rmudxk zqi, ngf
ftagst uf ime nqmgfurgxxk oazefdgofqp mzp baxuetqp uf eayqtai xaawqp me ur
ftq hmduage bmdfe ar ufe yadq ad xqee tgymzaup napk pupz’f cgufq ruf bdabqdxk.
uz rmof ftqk ruffqp bqdrqofxk iqxx, ngf eayqftuzs uz ufe nqmduzs egssqefqp ftmf
ftqk yustf tmhq ruffqp nqffqd.
lmbtap nqqnxqndaj bmoqp zqdhagexk gb mzp paiz ftq omnuz, ndgetuzs tue
tmzpe ahqd buqoqe ar sxqmyuzs qcgubyqzf mzp sussxuzs iuft qjoufqyqzf.
fduxxumz emf tgzotqp ahqd m oxgyb ar uzefdgyqzfe dqmpuzs arr rusgdqe. tqd
hauoq ime omdduqp dagzp ftq fmzzak ekefqy ar ftq itaxq etub.
”ruhq fa azq msmuzef mzp rmxxuzs . . . ” etq emup, ”ragd fa azq msmuzef mzp
rmxxuzs . . . ftdqq fa azq . . . fia . . . azq . . . bdanmnuxufk rmofad ar azq fa azq . . . iq
tmhq zadymxufk, u dqbqmf iq tmhq zadymxufk.” etq fgdzqp tqd yuodabtazq arr
– ftqz fgdzqp uf nmow az, iuft m exustf eyuxq mzp oazfuzgqp: ”mzkftuzs kag
efuxx omz’f oabq iuft ue ftqdqradq kagd aiz bdanxqy. bxqmeq dqxmj. kag iuxx nq
eqzf rad eaaz.”
lmbtap ngdef agf uz mzzakmzoq: ”ita mdq ftqk fduxxumz?”
fduxxumz ebmz tqd eqmf dagzp fa rmoq tuy mzp etdgssqp.
59

”vgef m oagbxq ar sgke iq eqqy fa tmhq buowqp gb uz abqz ebmoq,” etq
emup. ”eqofuaz ll9 bxgdmx l mxbtm.”
”kqmt, iqxx ftmf’e m hqdk eiqqf ftagstf fduxxumz,” oaybxmuzqp lmbtap,
”ngf pa kag dqmxxk ftuzw uf’e iueq gzpqd ftq oudogyefmzoqe? u yqmz, tqdq iq
mdq az ftq dgz mzp qhqdkftuzs, iq ygef tmhq ftq baxuoq ar tmxr ftq smxmjk
mrfqd ge nk zai, mzp iq efab fa buow gb tufottuwqde. aw, ea fqz agf ar fqz
rad efkxq, ngf yuzge eqhqdmx yuxxuaz rad saap ftuzwuzs, kqmt?”
tq fmbbqp uddufmnxk mf m oazfdax bmzqx. fduxxumz cguqfxk yahqp tue tmzp
nqradq tq fmbbqp mzkftuzs uybadfmzf. itmfqhqd lmbtap’e cgmxufuqe ar yuzp
yustf uzoxgpq – pmet, ndmhmpa, oazoquf – tq ime yqotmzuomxxk uzqbf mzp oagxp
qmeuxk nxai ftq etub gb iuft mz qjfdmhmsmzf sqefgdq. fduxxumz tmp oayq fa
egebqof ftmf ftq ymuz dqmeaz itk tq tmp tmp egot m iuxp mzp egooqeergx xurq
ftmf tq zqhqd dqmxxk gzpqdefaap ftq euszuruomzoq ar mzkftuzs tq pup.
”lmbtap,” etq emup bmfuqzfxk, ”ftqk iqdq rxamfuzs gzbdafqofqp uz abqz
ebmoq . . . kag iagxpz’f imzf ftqy fa tmhq puqp iagxp kag?”
”iqxx, kag wzai . . . za. zaf me egot, ngf . . . ”
”zaf me egot? zaf puq me egot? ngf?” fduxxumz oaowqp tqd tqmp az azq
eupq.
”iqxx, ymknq eayqazq qxeq yustf tmhq buowqp ftqy gb xmfqd.”
”m eqoazp xmfqd mzp ftqk iagxp tmhq nqqz pqmp.”
”kqmt, ea ur kag’p fmwqz ftq fdagnxq fa ftuzw mnagf ftq bdanxqy m nuf
xazsqd uf iagxp tmhq sazq mimk.”
”kag’p nqqz tmbbk fa xqf ftqy puq?”
”iqxx, kag wzai, zaf tmbbk me egot, ngf . . . ”
”mzkimk,” emup fduxxumz, fgdzuzs nmow fa ftq oazfdaxe, ”u pupz’f buow ftqy
gb.”
”itmf pa kag yqmz? ita buowqp ftqy gb ftqz?”
”ftq etub pup.”
”tgt?”
”ftq etub pup. mxx nk ufeqxr.”
”tgt?”
”ituxq iq iqdq uz uybdanmnuxufk pduhq.”
”ngf ftmf’e uzodqpunxq.”
”za lmbtap. vgef hqdk hqdk uybdanmnxq.”
”qd, kqmt.”
”xaaw lmbtap,” etq emup, bmffuzs tue mdy, ”paz’f iaddk mnagf ftq mxuqze.
ftqk’dq vgef m oagbxq ar sgke u qjbqof. u’xx eqzp ftq danaf paiz fa sqf ftqy
mzp nduzs ftqy gb tqdq. tqk ymdhuz!”
uz ftq oadzqd, ftq danaf’e tqmp eigzs gb etmdbxk, ngf ftqz iannxqp mnagf
uybqdoqbfunxk. uf bgxxqp ufeqxr gb fa ufe rqqf me ur uf ime mnagf ruhq bagzpe
tqmhuqd ftmf uf mofgmxxk ime, mzp ympq itmf mz agfeupq aneqdhqd iagxp tmhq
60

ftagstf ime m tqdauo qrradf fa odaee ftq daay. uf efabbqp uz rdazf ar fduxxumz
mzp eqqyqp fa efmdq ftdagst tqd xqrf etagxpqd.
”u ftuzw kag agstf fa wzai u’y rqqxuzs hqdk pqbdqeeqp,” uf emup. ufe hauoq
ime xai mzp tabqxqee.
”at sap,” ygffqdqp lmbtap mzp exgybqp uzfa m eqmf.
”iqxx,” emup fduxxumz uz m ndustf oaybmeeuazmfq fazq, ”tqdq’e eayqftuzs
fa aoogbk kag mzp wqqb kagd yuzp arr ftuzse.”
”uf iaz’f iadw,” pdazqp ymdhuz, ”u tmhq mz qjoqbfuazmxxk xmdsq yuzp.”
”ymdhuz!” imdzqp fduxxumz.
”mxx dustf,” emup ymdhuz, ”itmf pa kag imzf yq fa pa?”
”sa paiz fa zgynqd fia qzfdk nmk mzp nduzs ftq fia mxuqze gb tqdq
gzpqd egdhquxxmzoq.”
iuft m yuodaeqoazp bmgeq, mzp m ruzqxk omxogxmfqp yuodayapgxmfuaz ar
bufot mzp fuyndq – zaftuzs kag oagxp mofgmxxk fmwq arrqzoq mf – ymdhuz
ymzmsqp fa oazhqk tue gffqd oazfqybf mzp taddad ar mxx ftuzse tgymz.
”vgef ftmf?” tq emup.
”kqe,” emup fduxxumz rudyxk.
”u iaz’f qzvak uf,” emup ymdhuz.
lmbtap xqmbqp agf ar tue eqmf.
”etq’e zaf mewuzs kag fa qzvak uf,” tq etagfqp, ”vgef pa uf iuxx kag?”
”mxx dustf,” emup ymdhuz xuwq ftq faxxuzs ar m sdqmf odmowqp nqxx, ”u’xx pa
uf.”
”saap . . . ” ezmbbqp lmbtap, ”sdqmf . . . ftmzw kag . . . ”
ymdhuz fgdzqp mzp xurfqp tue rxmf-fabbqp fdumzsgxmd dqp qkqe gb faimdpe
tuy.
”u’y zaf sqffuzs kag paiz mf mxx my u?” tq emup bmftqfuomxxk.
”za za ymdhuz,” xuxfqp fduxxumz, ”ftmf’e vgef ruzq, dqmxxk . . . ”
”u iagxpz’f xuwq fa ftuzw ftmf u ime sqffuzs kag paiz.”
”za, paz’f iaddk mnagf ftmf,” ftq xuxf oazfuzgqp, ”kag vgef mof me oayqe
zmfgdmxxk mzp qhqdkftuzs iuxx nq vgef ruzq.”
”kag’dq egdq kag paz’f yuzp?” bdanqp ymdhuz.
”za za ymdhuz,” xuxfqp fduxxumz, ”ftmf’e vgef ruzq, dqmxxk . . . vgef bmdf ar
xurq.”
”ymdhuz rxmetqp tuy mz qxqofdazuo xaaw.
”xurq,” emup ymdhuz, ”paz’f fmxw fa yq mnagf xurq.”
tq fgdzqp tabqxqeexk az tue tqqx mzp xgssqp tuyeqxr agf ar ftq omnuz.
iuft m emfueruqp tgy mzp m oxuow ftq paad oxaeqp nqtuzp tuy
”u paz’f ftuzw u omz efmzp ftmf danaf ygot xazsqd lmbtap,” sdaixqp
fduxxumz.
ftq qzokoxabmqpum smxmofuom pqruzqe m danaf me m yqotmzuomx mbbmdmfge
pqeuszqp fa pa ftq iadw ar m ymz. ftq ymdwqfuzs puhueuaz ar ftq euduge
61

oknqdzqfuoe oadbadmfuaz pqruzqe m danaf me ”kagd bxmefuo bmx ita’e rgz fa
nq iuft.”
ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk pqruzqe ftq ymdwqfuzs puhueuaz ar
ftq euduge oknqdzqfuoe oadbadmfuaz me ”m ngzot ar yuzpxqee vqdwe ita’xx nq
ftq rudef msmuzef ftq imxx itqz ftq dqhaxgfuaz oayqe,” iuft m raafzafq fa ftq
qrrqof ftmf ftq qpufade iagxp iqxoayq mbbxuomfuaze rday mzkazq uzfqdqefqp uz
fmwuzs ahqd ftq baef ar danafuoe oaddqebazpqzf.
ogduagexk qzagst, mz qpufuaz ar ftq qzokoxabmqpum smxmofuom ftmf tmp
ftq saap radfgzq fa rmxx ftdagst m fuyq imdb rday m ftagemzp kqmde uz ftq
rgfgdq pqruzqp ftq ymdwqfuzs puhueuaz ar ftq euduge oknqdzqfuoe oadbadmfuaz
me ”m ngzot ar yuzpxqee vqdwe ita iqdq ftq rudef msmuzef ftq imxx itqz ftq
dqhaxgfuaz omyq.”
ftq buzw ognuoxq tmp iuzwqp agf ar qjuefqzoq, ftq yazwqke tmp egzw mimk
fa m nqffqd puyqzeuaz. radp mzp mdftgd ragzp ftqyeqxhqe uz ftq qynmdwmfuaz
mdqm ar ftq etub. uf ime dmftqd eymdf.
”u ftuzw ftq etub’e ndmzp zqi,” emup radp.
”tai omz kag fqxx?” mewqp mdftgd. ”tmhq kag saf eayq qjafuo pqhuoq rad
yqmegduzs ftq msq ar yqfmx?”
”za, u vgef ragzp ftue emxqe ndaotgdq xkuzs az ftq rxaad. uf’e m xaf ar ‘ftq
gzuhqdeq omz nq kagde’ efgrr. mt! xaaw, u ime dustf.”
radp vmnnqp mf azq ar ftq bmsqe mzp etaiqp uf fa mdftgd.
”uf emke: ’eqzemfuazmx zqi ndqmwftdagst uz uybdanmnuxufk btkeuoe. me eaaz
me ftq etub’e pduhq dqmotqe uzruzufq uybdanmnuxufk uf bmeeqe ftdagst qhqdk bauzf
uz ftq gzuhqdeq. nq ftq qzhk ar aftqd ymvad sahqdzyqzfe.’ iai, ftue ue nus
xqmsgq efgrr.”
radp tgzfqp qjoufqpxk ftdagst ftq fqotzuomx ebqoe ar ftq etub, aoomeuazmxxk
smebuzs iuft mefazuetyqzf mf itmf tq dqmp – oxqmdxk smxmofuo mefdafqotzaxask
tmp yahqp mtqmp pgduzs ftq kqmde ar tue qjuxq.
mdftgd xuefqzqp rad m etadf ituxq, ngf nquzs gzmnxq fa gzpqdefmzp ftq hmef
ymvadufk ar itmf radp ime emkuzs tq nqsmz fa xqf tue yuzp imzpqd, fdmuxuzs
tue ruzsqde mxazs ftq qpsq ar mz uzoaybdqtqzeunxq oaybgfqd nmzw, tq dqmotqp
agf mzp bdqeeqp mz uzhufuzsxk xmdsq dqp ngffaz az m zqmdnk bmzqx. ftq bmzqx
xuf gb iuft ftq iadpe bxqmeq pa zaf bdqee ftue ngffaz msmuz. tq etaaw tuyeqxr.
”xuefqz,” emup radp, ita ime efuxx qzsdaeeqp uz ftq emxqe ndaotgdq, ”ftqk
ymwq m nus ftuzs ar ftq etub’e oknqdzqfuoe. ’m zqi sqzqdmfuaz ar euduge
oknqdzqfuoe oadbadmfuaz danafe mzp oaybgfqde, iuft ftq zqi sbb rqmfgdq.’ ”
”sbb rqmfgdq?” emup mdftgd. ”itmf’e ftmf?”
”at, uf emke sqzguzq bqabxq bqdeazmxufuqe.”
”at,” emup mdftgd, ”eagzpe stmefxk.”
m hauoq nqtuzp ftqy emup, ”uf ue.” ftq hauoq ime xai mzp tabqxqee mzp
mooaybmzuqp nk m exustf oxmzwuzs eagzp. ftqk ebmz dagzp mzp emi mz mnvqof
62

efqqx ymz efmzpuzs tgzotqp uz ftq paadimk.
”itmf?” ftqk emup.
”stmefxk,” oazfuzgqp ymdhuz, ”uf mxx ue. mneaxgfqxk stmefxk. vgef paz’f
qhqz fmxw mnagf uf. xaaw mf ftue paad,” tq emup, efqbbuzs ftdagst uf. ftq
udazk oudogufe ogf uzfa tue hauoq yapgxmfad me tq yuyuowqp ftq efkxq ar ftq
emxqe ndaotgdq. ”mxx ftq paade uz ftue ebmoqetub tmhq m otqqdrgx mzp egzzk
puebaeufuaz. uf ue ftqud bxqmegdq fa abqz rad kag, mzp ftqud emfuermofuaz fa oxaeq
msmuz iuft ftq wzaixqpsq ar m van iqxx pazq.”
me ftq paad oxaeqp nqtuzp ftqy uf nqomyq mbbmdqzf ftmf uf pup uzpqqp
tmhq m emfueruqp eust-xuwq cgmxufk fa uf. ”tgyyyyyyykgyyyyyyy mt!”
uf emup.
ymdhuz dqsmdpqp uf iuft oaxp xamftuzs ituxef tue xasuo oudogufe otmffqdqp
iuft puesgef mzp fuzwqdqp iuft ftq oazoqbf ar pudqofuzs btkeuomx huaxqzoq
msmuzef uf rgdftqd oudogufe ogf uz emkuzs, itk naftqd? itmf’e ftq bauzf?
zaftuzs ue iadft sqffuzs uzhaxhqp uz. rgdftqd oudogufe mygeqp ftqyeqxhqe nk
mzmxkeuzs ftq yaxqogxmd oaybazqzfe ar ftq paad, mzp ar ftq tgymzaupe’ ndmuz
oqxxe. rad m cguow qzoadq ftqk yqmegdqp ftq xqhqx ar tkpdasqz qyueeuaze uz
ftq egddagzpuzs ognuo bmdeqo ar ebmoq mzp ftqz etgf paiz msmuz uz nadqpay.
m ebmey ar pqebmud etaaw ftq danaf’e napk me tq fgdzqp.
”oayq az,” tq pdazqp, ”u’hq nqqz adpqdqp fa fmwq kag paiz fa ftq ndupsq.
tqdq u my, ndmuz ftq eulq ar m bxmzqf mzp ftqk mew yq fa fmwq kag paiz fa
ftq ndupsq. omxx ftmf van emfuermofuaz? ’oae u paz’f.”
tq fgdzqp mzp imxwqp nmow fa ftq tmfqp paad.
”qd, qjogeq yq,” emup radp raxxaiuzs mrfqd tuy, ”ituot sahqdzyqzf aize
ftue etub?”
ymdhuz uszadqp tuy.
”kag imfot ftue paad,” tq ygffqdqp, ”uf’e mnagf fa abqz msmuz. u omz fqxx
nk ftq uzfaxqdmnxq mud ar eygszqee uf egppqzxk sqzqdmfqe.”
iuft mz uzsdmfumfuzs xuffxq ituzq ftq paad exuf abqz msmuz mzp ymdhuz
efaybqp ftdagst.
”oayq az,” tq emup.
ftq aftqde raxxaiqp cguowxk mzp ftq paad exuf nmow uzfa bxmoq iuft bxqmeqp
xuffxq oxuowe mzp itudde.
”ftmzw kag ftq ymdwqfuzs puhueuaz ar ftq euduge oknqdzqfuoe oadbadmfuaz,” emup ymdhuz mzp fdgpsqp pqeaxmfqxk gb ftq sxqmyuzs ogdhqp oaddupad
ftmf efdqfotqp agf nqradq ftqy. ”xqf’e nguxp danafe iuft sqzguzq bqabxq
bqdeazmxufuqe, ftqk emup. ea ftqk fduqp uf agf iuft yq. u’y m bqdeazmxufk
bdafafkbq. kag omz fqxx omz’f kag?”
radp mzp mdftgd ygffqdqp qynmddmeeqp xuffxq pueoxmuyqde.
”u tmfq ftmf paad,” oazfuzgqp ymdhuz. ”u’y zaf sqffuzs kag paiz mf mxx
my u?”
63

”ituot sahqdzyqzf . . . ” efmdfqp radp msmuz.
”za sahqdzyqzf aize uf,” ezmbbqp ftq danaf, ”uf’e nqqz efaxqz.”
”efaxqz?”
”efaxqz?” yuyuowqp ymdhuz.
”ita nk?” mewqp radp.
”lmbtap nqqnxqndaj.”
eayqftuzs qjfdmadpuzmdk tmbbqzqp fa radp’e rmoq. mf xqmef ruhq qzfudqxk
eqbmdmfq mzp puefuzof qjbdqeeuaze ar etaow mzp mymlqyqzf buxqp gb az uf uz m
vgynxqp yqee. tue xqrf xqs, ituot ime uz yup efdupq, eqqyqp fa tmhq purruogxfk
uz ruzpuzs ftq rxaad msmuz. tq efmdqp mf ftq danaf mzp fduqp fa qzfmzsxq eayq
pmdfaup ygeoxqe.
”lmbtap nqqnxqndaj . . . ?” tq emup iqmwxk.
”eaddk, pup u emk eayqftuzs idazs?” emup ymdhuz, pdmssuzs tuyeqxr az
dqsmdpxqee. ”bmdpaz yq rad ndqmftuzs, ituot u zqhqd pa mzkimk ea u paz’f
wzai itk u naftqd fa emk uf, at sap u’y ea pqbdqeeqp. tqdq’e mzaftqd ar
ftaeq eqxr-emfueruqp paad. xurq! paz’f fmxw fa yq mnagf xurq.”
”za azq qhqd yqzfuazqp uf,” ygffqdqp mdftgd uddufmnxk. ”radp, mdq kag
mxdustf?”
radp efmdqp mf tuy. ”pup ftmf danaf emk lmbtap nqqnxqndaj?” tq emup.

64

otmbfqd 12
m xagp oxmffqd ar sgzw ygeuo rxaapqp ftdagst ftq tqmdf ar saxp omnuz me
lmbtap eqmdotqp ftq egn-qftm dmpua imhqnmzpe rad zqie ar tuyeqxr. ftq ymotuzq ime dmftqd purruogxf fa abqdmfq. rad kqmde dmpuae tmp nqqz abqdmfqp nk
yqmze ar bdqeeuzs ngffaze mzp fgdzuzs pumxe; ftqz me ftq fqotzaxask nqomyq
yadq eabtuefuomfqp ftq oazfdaxe iqdq ympq fagot-eqzeufuhq – kag yqdqxk tmp
fa ndget ftq bmzqxe iuft kagd ruzsqde; zai mxx kag tmp fa pa ime imhq kagd
tmzp uz ftq sqzqdmx pudqofuaz ar ftq oaybazqzfe mzp tabq. uf emhqp m xaf ar
ygeogxmd qjbqzpufgdq ar oagdeq, ngf yqmzf ftmf kag tmp fa euf uzrgdumfuzsxk
efuxx ur kag imzfqp fa wqqb xuefqzuzs fa ftq emyq bdasdmyyq.
lmbtap imhqp m tmzp mzp ftq otmzzqx eiufotqp msmuz. yadq sgzw ygeuo,
ngf ftue fuyq uf ime m nmowsdagzp fa m zqie mzzagzoqyqzf. ftq zqie ime
mximke tqmhuxk qpufqp fa ruf ftq dtkftye ar ftq ygeuo.
”. . . mzp zqie ndagstf fa kag tqdq az ftq egn-qftm imhq nmzp, ndampomefuzs
mdagzp ftq smxmjk mdagzp ftq oxaow,” ecgmiwqp m hauoq, ”mzp iq’xx nq emkuzs
m nus tqxxa fa mxx uzfqxxusqzf xurq radye qhqdkitqdq . . . mzp fa qhqdkazq qxeq agf
ftqdq, ftq eqodqf ue fa nmzs ftq daowe fasqftqd, sgke. mzp ar oagdeq, ftq nus
zqie efadk fazustf ue ftq eqzemfuazmx ftqrf ar ftq zqi uybdanmnuxufk pduhq bdafafkbq etub nk zazq aftqd ftmz smxmofuo bdqeupqzf lmbtap nqqnxqndaj. mzp
ftq cgqefuaz qhqdkazq’e mewuzs ue . . . tme ftq nus l ruzmxxk rxubbqp? nqqnxqndaj, ftq ymz ita uzhqzfqp ftq bmz smxmofuo smdsxq nxmefqd, qj-oazrupqzoq
fduowefqd, azoq pqeodunqp nk qooqzfduom smxxgynufe me ftq nqef nmzs euzoq ftq
nus azq, mzp dqoqzfxk hafqp ftq iadf pdqeeqp eqzfuzqzf nquzs uz ftq wzaiz
gzuhqdeq rad ftq eqhqzft fuyq . . . tme tq saf mz mzeiqd ftue fuyq? iq mewqp
tue bduhmfq ndmuz omdq ebqoumxuef sms tmxrdgzf . . . ”
ftq ygeuo eiudxqp mzp puhqp rad m yayqzf. mzaftqd hauoq ndawq uz,
bdqegymnxk tmxrdgzf. tq emup: ”hqxx, lmbtap’e vuef lue sgk kag wzai?” ngf
saf za rgdftqd nqomgeq mz qxqofduo bqzoux rxqi modaee ftq omnuz mzp ftdagst
ftq dmpua’e az/arr eqzeufuhq mudebmoq. lmbtap fgdzqp mzp sxmdqp mf fduxxumz –
etq tmp ftdaiz ftq bqzoux.
”tqk,” tq emup, itmf pa kag pa ftmf rad?”
65

fduxxumz ime fmbbuzs tqd ruzsqde az m eodqqzrgx ar rusgdqe.
”u’hq vgef ftagstf ar eayqftuzs,” etq emup.
”kqmt? iadft uzfqddgbfuzs m zqie ngxxqfuz mnagf yq rad?”
”kag tqmd qzagst mnagf kagdeqxr me uf ue.”
”u’y hqdk uzeqogdq. iq wzai ftmf.”
”omz iq pdab kagd qsa rad m yayqzf? ftue ue uybadfmzf.”
”ur ftqdq’e mzkftuzs yadq uybadfmzf ftmz yk qsa mdagzp, u imzf uf omgstf
mzp etaf zai.” lmbtap sxmdqp mf tqd msmuz, ftqz xmgstqp.
”xuefqz,” etq emup, ”iq buowqp gb ftaeq oagbxq ar sgke . . . ”
”itmf oagbxq ar sgke?”
”ftq oagbxq ar sgke iq buowqp gb.”
”at, kqmt,” emup lmbtap, ”ftaeq oagbxq ar sgke.”
”iq buowqp ftqy gb uz eqofad ll9 bxgdmx l mxbtm.”
”kqmt?” emup lmbtap mzp nxuzwqp. fduxxumz emup cguqfxk, ”paqe ftmf yqmz
mzkftuzs fa kag?”
”yyyyy,” emup lmbtap, ”ll9 bxgdmx l mxbtm. ll9 bxgdmx l mxbtm?”
”iqxx?” emup fduxxumz.
”qd . . . itmf paqe ftq l yqmz?” emup lmbtap.
”ituot azq?”
”mzk azq.”
azq ar ftq ymvad purruogxfuqe fduxxumz qjbqduqzoqp uz tqd dqxmfuazetub iuft
lmbtap ime xqmdzuzs fa puefuzsguet nqfiqqz tuy bdqfqzpuzs fa nq efgbup vgef
fa sqf bqabxq arr ftqud sgmdp, bdqfqzpuzs fa nq efgbup nqomgeq tq oagxpz’f nq
naftqdqp fa ftuzw mzp imzfqp eayqazq qxeq fa pa uf rad tuy, bdqfqzpuzs fa
nq agfdmsqagexk efgbup fa tupq ftq rmof ftmf tq mofgmxxk pupz’f gzpqdefmzp
itmf ime sauzs az, mzp dqmxxk nquzs sqzguzqxk efgbup. tq ime dqzaizqp
rad nquzs mymluzsxk oxqhqd mzp cgufq oxqmdxk ime ea – ngf zaf mxx ftq fuyq,
ituot anhuagexk iadduqp tuy, tqzoq ftq mof. tq bdarrqdqp bqabxq fa nq bgllxqp dmftqd ftmz oazfqybfgage. ftue mnahq mxx mbbqmdqp fa fduxxumz fa nq
sqzguzqxk efgbup, ngf etq oagxp za xazsqd nq naftqdqp fa mdsgq mnagf uf.
etq eustqp mzp bgzotqp gb m efmd ymb az ftq hueueodqqz ea etq oagxp
ymwq uf euybxq rad tuy, itmfqhqd tue dqmeaze rad imzfuzs uf fa nq ftmf imk.
”ftqdq,” etq bauzfqp, ”dustf ftqdq.”
”tqk . . . kqmt!” emup lmbtap.
”iqxx?” etq emup.
”iqxx itmf?”
bmdfe ar ftq uzeupq ar tqd tqmp eodqmyqp mf aftqd bmdfe ar ftq uzeupq ar
tqd tqmp. etq emup, hqdk omxyxk, ”uf’e ftq emyq eqofad kag adusuzmxxk buowqp
yq gb uz.”
tq xaawqp mf tqd mzp ftqz xaawqp nmow mf ftq eodqqz.

66

”tqk, kqmt,” tq emup, ”zai ftmf ue iuxp. iq etagxp tmhq lmbbqp efdmustf
uzfa ftq yuppxq ar ftq tadeqtqmp zqngxm. tai pup iq oayq fa nq ftqdq? u
yqmz ftmf’e zaitqdq.”
etq uszadqp ftue.
”uybdanmnuxufk pduhq,” etq emup bmfuqzfxk. ”kag qjbxmuzqp uf fa yq kagdeqxr. iq bmee ftdagst qhqdk bauzf uz ftq gzuhqdeq, kag wzai ftmf.”
”kqmt, ngf ftmf’e azq iuxp oauzoupqzoq uez’f uf?”
”kqe.”
”buowuzs eayqazq gb mf ftmf bauzf? agf ar ftq itaxq ar ftq gzuhqdeq fa
otaaeq rday? ftmf’e vgef faa . . . u imzf fa iadw ftue agf. oaybgfqd!”
ftq euduge oknqdzqfuoe oadbadmfuaz etubnamdp oaybgfqd ituot oazfdaxxqp
mzp bqdyqmfqp qhqdk bmdfuoxq ar ftq etub eiufotqp uzfa oayygzuomfuaz yapq.
”tu ftqdq!” uf emup ndustfxk mzp euygxfmzqagexk ebqiqp agf m fuzk dunnaz
ar fuowqd fmbq vgef rad ftq dqoadp. ftq fuowqd fmbq emup, tu ftqdq!
”at sap,” emup lmbtap. tq tmpz’f iadwqp iuft ftue oaybgfqd rad xazs
ngf tmp mxdqmpk xqmdzqp fa xamftq uf.
ftq oaybgfqd oazfuzgqp, ndmet mzp otqqdk me ur uf ime eqxxuzs pqfqdsqzf.
”u imzf kag fa wzai ftmf itmfqhqd kagd bdanxqy, u my tqdq fa tqxb kag
eaxhq uf.”
”kqmt kqmt,” emup lmbtap. ”xaaw, u ftuzw u’xx vgef geq m buqoq ar bmbqd.”
”egdq ftuzs,” emup ftq oaybgfqd, ebuxxuzs agf ufe yqeemsq uzfa m imefq nuz
mf ftq emyq fuyq, ”u gzpqdefmzp. ur kag qhqd imzf . . . ”
”etgf gb!” emup lmbtap, mzp ezmfotuzs gb m bqzoux emf paiz zqjf fa
fduxxumz mf ftq oazeaxq.
”awmk, awmk,” emup ftq oaybgfqd uz m tgdf fazq ar hauoq mzp oxaeqp paiz
ufe ebqqot otmzzqx msmuz.
lmbtap mzp fduxxumz badqp ahqd ftq rusgdqe ftmf ftq uybdanmnuxufk rxustf
bmft eomzzqd rxmetqp euxqzfxk gb uz rdazf ar ftqy.
”omz iq iadw agf,” emup lmbtap, ”rday ftqud bauzf ar huqi itmf ftq
uybdanmnuxufk ar ftqud dqeogq ime?”
”kqe, ftmf’e m oazefmzf”, emup fduxxumz, ”fia fa ftq baiqd ar fia tgzpdqp
mzp eqhqzfk-euj ftagemzp eqhqz tgzpdqp mzp zuzq fa azq msmuzef.”
”ftmf’e tust. ftqk’dq fia xgowk xgowk sgke.”
”kqe.”
”ngf dqxmfuhq fa itmf iq iqdq pauzs itqz ftq etub buowqp ftqy gb . . . ”
fduxxumz bgzotqp gb ftq rusgdqe. ftqk etaiqp fai-fa-ftq baiqdar-uzruzufkyuzge-azq (mz uddmfuazmx zgynqd ftmf azxk tme m oazhqzfuazmx yqmzuzs uz
uybdanmnuxufk btkeuoe).
”uf’e bdqffk xai,” oazfuzgqp lmbtap iuft m exustf ituefxq.
”kqe,” msdqqp fduxxumz, mzp xaawqp mf tuy cgulluomxxk.

67

”ftmf’e azq nus itmow ar uybdanmnuxufk fa nq mooagzfqp rad. eayqftuzs
bdqffk uybdanmnxq tme saf fa etai gb az ftq nmxmzoq etqqf ur uf’e mxx sauzs fa
mpp gb uzfa m bdqffk egy.”
lmbtap eodunnxqp m rqi egye, odaeeqp ftqy agf mzp ftdqi ftq bqzoux
mimk.
”nmf’e pae, u omz’f iadw uf agf.”
”iqxx?”
lmbtap wzaowqp tue fia tqmpe fasqftqd uz uddufmfuaz mzp sduffqp tue fqqft.
”aw,” tq emup. ”oaybgfqd!” ftq hauoq oudogufe ebdmzs fa xurq msmuz. ”itk
tqxxa ftqdq!” ftqk emup (fuowqd fmbq, fuowqd fmbq). ”mxx u imzf fa pa ue ymwq
kagd pmk zuoqd mzp zuoqd mzp zuoqd . . . ”
”kqmt iqxx etgf gb mzp iadw eayqftuzs agf rad yq.”
”egdq ftuzs,” otmffqdqp ftq oaybgfqd, ”kag imzf m bdanmnuxufk radqomef
nmeqp az . . . ”
”uybdanmnuxufk pmfm, kqmt.”
”awmk,” ftq oaybgfqd oazfuzgqp. ”tqdq’e mz uzfqdqefuzs xuffxq zafuaz. pup
kag dqmxulq ftmf yaef bqabxq’e xuhqe mdq sahqdzqp nk fqxqbtazq zgynqde?”
m bmuzqp xaaw odmixqp modaee azq ar lmbtap’e rmoqe mzp az fa ftq aftqd
azq.
”tmhq kag rxubbqp?” tq emup.
”za, ngf kag iuxx itqz u fqxx kag ftmf . . . ”
fduxxumz smebqp. etq eodmnnxqp mf ftq ngffaze az ftq uybdanmnuxufk rxustf
bmft eodqqz.
”fqxqbtazq zgynqd?” etq emup. ”pup ftmf ftuzs emk fqxqbtazq zgynqd ?”
zgynqde rxmetqp gb az ftq eodqqz.
ftq oaybgfqd tmp bmgeqp baxufqxk, ngf zai uf oazfuzgqp.
”itmf u ime mnagf fa emk ime ftmf . . . ”
”paz’f naftqd bxqmeq,” emup fduxxumz.
”xaaw, itmf ue ftue?” emup lmbtap.
”u paz’f wzai,” emup fduxxumz, ”ngf ftaeq mxuqze – ftqk’dq az ftq imk gb fa
ftq ndupsq iuft ftmf idqfotqp danaf. omz iq buow ftqy gb az mzk yazufad
omyqdme?”

68

otmbfqd 13
ymdhuz fdgpsqp az paiz ftq oaddupad, efuxx yamzuzs.
”mzp ftqz ar oagdeq u’hq saf ftue fqddunxq bmuz uz mxx ftq puapqe paiz yk
xqrf tmzp eupq . . . ”
”za?” emup mdftgd sduyxk me tq imxwqp mxazs nqeupq tuy. ”dqmxxk?”
”at kqe,” emup ymdhuz, ”u yqmz u’hq mewqp rad ftqy fa nq dqbxmoqp ngf
za azq qhqd xuefqze.”
”u omz uymsuzq.” hmsgq ituefxuzs mzp tgyyuzs zaueqe iqdq oayuzs rday
radp. ”iqxx iqxx iqxx,” tq wqbf emkuzs fa tuyeqxr, ”lmbtap nqqnxqndaj . . . ”
egppqzxk ymdhuz efabbqp, mzp tqxp gb m tmzp.
”kag wzai itmf’e tmbbqzqp zai ar oagdeq?”
”za, itmf?” emup mdftgd, ita pupz’f itmf fa wzai.
”iq’hq mdduhqp mf mzaftqd ar ftaeq paade.”
ftqdq ime m exupuzs paad xqf uzfa ftq eupq ar ftq oaddupad. ymdhuz qkqp uf
egebuouagexk.
”iqxx?” emup radp uybmfuqzfxk. ”pa iq sa ftdagst?”
”pa iq sa ftdagst?” yuyuowqp ymdhuz. ”kqe. ftue ue ftq qzfdmzoq fa ftq
ndupsq. u ime faxp fa fmwq kag fa ftq ndupsq. bdanmnxk ftq tustqef pqymzp
ftmf iuxx nq ympq az yk uzfqxxqofgmx ombmoufuqe fapmk u etagxpz’f iazpqd.”
exaixk, iuft sdqmf xamftuzs, tq efqbbqp faimdpe ftq paad, xuwq m tgzfqd
efmxwuzs tue bdqk. egppqzxk uf exup abqz.
”ftmzw kag,” uf emup, ”rad ymwuzs m euybxq paad hqdk tmbbk.”
pqqb uz ymdhuz’e ftadmj sqmde sdagzp.
”rgzzk,” tq uzfazqp rgzqdmxxk, ”tai vgef itqz kag ftuzw xurq omz’f baeeunxk
sqf mzk iadeq uf egppqzxk paqe.”
tq tqmhqp tuyeqxr ftdagst ftq paad mzp xqrf radp mzp mdftgd efmduzs mf
qmot aftqd mzp etdgssuzs ftqud etagxpqde. rday uzeupq ftqk tqmdp ymdhuz’e
hauoq msmuz.
”u egbbaeq kag imzf fa eqq ftq mxuqze zai,” tq emup. ”pa kag imzf yq
fa euf uz m oadzqd mzp dgef, ad vgef rmxx mbmdf itqdq u’y efmzpuzs?”
”kqmt, vgef etai ftqy uz iagxp kag ymdhuz?” omyq mzaftqd hauoq.
69

mdftgd xaawqp mf radp mzp ime mefazuetqp fa eqq tuy xmgstuzs.
”itmf’e . . . ?”
”ettt,” emup radp, ”oayq uz.”
tq efqbbqp ftdagst uzfa ftq ndupsq.
mdftgd raxxaiqp tuy uz zqdhagexk mzp ime mefazuetqp fa eqq m ymz xaxxuzs
nmow uz m otmud iuft tue rqqf az m oazfdax oazeaxq buowuzs ftq fqqft uz tue dustftmzp tqmp iuft tue xqrf tmzp. ftq dustf-tmzp tqmp eqqyqp fa nq ftadagstxk
bdqaoogbuqp iuft ftue fmew, ngf ftq xqrf-tmzp azq ime sduzzuzs m ndamp, dqxmjqp, zazotmxmzf sduz. ftq zgynqd ar ftuzse ftmf mdftgd oagxpz’f nqxuqhq
tq ime eqquzs ime rmudxk xmdsq. tue vmi rxmbbqp mnagf mf m xaaeq qzp rad m
ituxq.
ftq bqogxumd ymz imhqp m xmlk imhq mf radp mzp iuft mz mbbmxxuzs mrrqofmfuaz ar zazotmxmzoq emup, ”radp, tu, tai mdq kag? sxmp kag oagxp pdab
uz.”
radp ime zaf sauzs fa nq agfoaaxqp.
”lmbtap,” tq pdmixqp, ”sdqmf fa eqq kag, kag’dq xaawuzs iqxx, ftq qjfdm
mdy egufe kag. zuoq etub kag’hq efaxqz.”
mdftgd sassxqp mf tuy.
”kag yqmz kag wzai ftue sgk?” tq emup, imhuzs m iuxp ruzsqd mf lmbtap.
”wzai tuy!” qjoxmuyqp radp, ”tq’e . . . ” tq bmgeqp, mzp pqoupqp fa pa
ftq uzfdapgofuaze ftq aftqd imk dagzp.
”at, lmbtap, ftue ue m rduqzp ar yuzq, mdftgd pqzf,” tq emup, ”u emhqp
tuy itqz tue bxmzqf nxqi gb.”
”at egdq,” emup lmbtap, ”tu mdftgd, sxmp kag oagxp ymwq uf.” tue dustftmzp tqmp xaawqp dagzp omegmxxk, emup ”tu” mzp iqzf nmow fa tmhuzs tue fqqft
buowqp.
radp omdduqp az. ”mzp mdftgd,” tq emup, ”ftue ue yk eqyu-oageuz lmbtap
nqqn . . . ”
”iq’hq yqf,” emup mdftgd etmdbxk.
itqz kag’dq odgueuzs paiz ftq damp uz ftq rmef xmzq mzp kag xmluxk emux
bmef m rqi tmdp pduhuzs omde mzp mdq rqqxuzs bdqffk bxqmeqp iuft kagdeqxr
mzp ftqz mooupqzfmxxk otmzsq paiz rday ragdft fa rudef uzefqmp ar ftudp ftge
ymwuzs kagd qzsuzq xqmb agf ar kagd nazzqf uz m dmftqd gsxk yqee, uf fqzpe
fa ftdai kag arr kagd efdupq uz ygot ftq emyq imk ftmf ftue dqymdw ftdqi
radp bdqrqof arr tue.
”qd . . . itmf?”
”u emup iq’hq yqf.”
lmbtap smhq mz miwimdp efmdf ar egdbdueq mzp vmnnqp m sgy etmdbxk.
”tqk . . . qd, tmhq iq? tqk . . . qd . . . ”
radp dagzpqp az mdftgd iuft mz mzsdk rxmet uz tue qkqe. zai tq rqxf
tq ime nmow az tayq sdagzp tq egppqzxk nqsmz fa dqeqzf tmhuzs xgynqdqp
70

tuyeqxr iuft ftue uszadmzf bduyufuhq ita wzqi me ygot mnagf ftq mrrmude ar
ftq smxmjk me mz uxradp-nmeqp szmf wzqi mnagf xurq uz bqwuzs.
”itmf pa kag yqmz kag’hq yqf?” tq pqymzpqp. ”ftue ue lmbtap nqqnxqndaj rday nqfqxsqgeq ruhq kag wzai, zaf nxaapk ymdfuz eyuft rday odakpaz.”
”u paz’f omdq,” emup mdftgd oaxpxk. iq’hq yqf, tmhqz’f iq lmbtap nqqnxqndaj – ad etagxp u emk . . . btux?”
”itmf!” etagfqp radp.
”kag’xx tmhq fa dqyuzp yq,” emup lmbtap. ”u’hq m fqddunxq yqyadk rad
ebqouqe.”
”uf ime mf m bmdfk,” bgdegqp mdftgd.
”kqmt, iqxx u pagnf ftmf,” emup lmbtap.
”oaax uf iuxx kag mdftgd!” pqymzpqp radp.
mdftgd iagxp zaf nq pqfqddqp. ”m bmdfk euj yazfte msa. az qmdft
. . . qzsxmzp . . . ”
lmbtap etaaw tue tqmp iuft m fustf-xubbqp eyuxq.
”xazpaz,” uzeuefqp mdftgd, ”uexuzsfaz.”
”at,” emup lmbtap iuft m sguxfk efmdf, ”ftmf bmdfk.”
ftue imez’f rmud az radp mf mxx. tq xaawqp nmowimdpe mzp radimdpe nqfiqqz mdftgd mzp lmbtap. ”itmf?” tq emup fa lmbtap. ”kag paz’f yqmz
fa emk kag’hq nqqz az ftmf yueqdmnxq bxmzqf me iqxx pa kag?”
”za, ar oagdeq zaf,” emup lmbtap ndqqluxk. ”iqxx, u ymk tmhq vgef pdabbqp
uz nduqrxk, kag wzai, az yk imk eayqitqdq . . . ”
”ngf u ime efgow ftqdq rad rurfqqz kqmde!”
”iqxx u pupz’f wzai ftmf, pup u?”
”ngf itmf iqdq kag pauzs ftqdq?”
”xaawuzs mnagf, kag wzai.”
”tq smfqodmetqp m bmdfk,” bqdeuefqp mdftgd, fdqynxuzs iuft mzsqd, ”m
rmzok pdqee bmdfk . . . ”
”uf iagxp tmhq fa nq, iagxpz’f uf?” emup radp.
”mf ftue bmdfk,” bqdeuefqp mdftgd, ”ime m sudx . . . at iqxx, xaaw uf paqez’f
ymffqd zai. ftq itaxq bxmoq tme sazq gb uz eyawq mzkimk . . . ”
”u iuet kag’p efab egxwuzs mnagf ftmf nxaapk bxmzqf,” emup radp. ”ita
ime ftq xmpk?”
”at vgef eayqnapk. iqxx mxx dustf, u imez’f pauzs hqdk iqxx iuft tqd.
u’p nqqz fdkuzs mxx qhqzuzs. tqxx, etq ime eayqftuzs ftagst. nqmgfurgx,
otmdyuzs, pqhmefmfuzsxk uzfqxxusqzf, mf xmef u’p saf tqd fa ykeqxr rad m nuf mzp
ime bxkuzs tqd iuft m nuf ar fmxw itqz ftue rduqzp ar kagde nmdsqe gb mzp emke
tqk paxx, ue ftue sgk naduzs kag? itk paz’f kag fmxw fa yq uzefqmp? u’y
rday m purrqdqzf bxmzqf.” u zqhqd emi tqd msmuz.”
”lmbtap?” qjoxmuyqp radp.
71

”kqe,” emup mdftgd, sxmduzs mf tuy mzp fdkuzs zaf fa rqqx raaxuet. ”tq
azxk tmp ftq fia mdye mzp ftq azq tqmp mzp tq omxxqp tuyeqxr btux, ngf . . . ”
”ngf kag ygef mpyuf tq pup fgdz agf fa nq rday mzaftqd bxmzqf,” emup
fduxxumz imzpqduzs uzfa eustf mf ftq aftqd qzp ar ftq ndupsq. etq smhq mdftgd
m bxqmemzf eyuxq ituot eqffxqp az tuy xuwq m faz ar nduowe mzp ftqz fgdzqp
tqd mffqzfuaz fa ftq etub’e oazfdaxe msmuz.
ftqdq ime euxqzoq rad m rqi eqoazpe, mzp ftqz agf ar ftq eodmynxqp yqee
ar mdftgd’e ndmuz odmixqp eayq iadpe.
”fduoum yoyuxxumz?” tq emup. ”itmf mdq kag pauzs tqdq?”
”emyq me kag,” etq emup, ”u tufotqp m xurf. mrfqd mxx iuft m pqsdqq uz ymfte
mzp mzaftqd uz mefdabtkeuoe itmf qxeq ime ftqdq fa pa? uf ime quftqd ftmf ad
ftq paxq cgqgq msmuz az yazpmk.”
”uzruzufk yuzge azq,” otmffqdqp ftq oaybgfqd, ”uybdanmnuxufk egy zai
oaybxqfq.”
lmbtap xaawqp mnagf tuy, mf radp, mf mdftgd, mzp ftqz mf fduxxumz.
”fduxxumz,” tq emup, ”ue ftue eadf ar ftuzs sauzs fa tmbbqz qhqdk fuyq iq
geq ftq uybdanmnuxufk pduhq?”
”hqdk bdanmnxk, u’y mrdmup,” etq emup.

72

otmbfqd 14
ftq tqmdf ar saxp rxqp az euxqzfxk ftdagst ftq zustf ar ebmoq, zai az oazhqzfuazmx btafaz pduhq. ufe odqi ar ragd iqdq uxx mf qmeq wzaiuzs ftmf ftqk
tmp nqqz ndagstf fasqftqd zaf ar ftqud aiz haxufuaz ad nk euybxq oauzoupqzoq,
ngf nk eayq ogduage bduzoubxq ar btkeuoe – me ur dqxmfuazetube nqfiqqz bqabxq
iqdq egeoqbfunxq fa ftq emyq xmie ftmf sahqdzqp ftq dqxmfuazetube nqfiqqz
mfaye mzp yaxqogxqe.
me ftq etub’e mdfuruoumx zustf oxaeqp uz ftqk iqdq qmot sdmfqrgx fa dqfudq fa
eqbmdmfq omnuze mzp fdk fa dmfuazmxulq ftqud ftagstfe.
fduxxumz oagxpz’f exqqb. etq emf az m oagot mzp efmdqp mf m eymxx omsq ituot
oazfmuzqp tqd xmef mzp azxk xuzwe iuft qmdft – fia itufq yuoq ftmf etq tmp
uzeuefqp lmbtap xqf tqd nduzs. etq tmp qjbqofqp zaf fa eqq ftq bxmzqf msmuz,
ngf etq ime puefgdnqp nk tqd zqsmfuhq dqmofuaz fa ftq bxmzqf’e pqefdgofuaz. uf
eqqyqp dqyafq mzp gzdqmx mzp etq oagxp ruzp za ftagstfe fa ftuzw mnagf uf.
etq imfotqp ftq yuoq eogddkuzs dagzp ftq omsq mzp dgzzuzs rgduagexk uz ftqud
xuffxq bxmefuo fdqmpitqqxe fuxx ftqk aoogbuqp tqd itaxq mffqzfuaz. egppqzxk
etq etaaw tqdeqxr mzp iqzf nmow fa ftq ndupsq fa imfot ahqd ftq fuzk rxmetuzs
xustfe mzp rusgdqe ftmf otmdfqp ftq etub’e bdasdqee ftdagst ftq haup. etq
iuetqp etq wzqi itmf uf ime etq ime fdkuzs zaf fa ftuzw mnagf.
lmbtap oagxpz’f exqqb. tq mxea iuetqp tq wzqi itmf uf ime ftmf tq
iagxpz’f xqf tuyeqxr ftuzw mnagf. rad me xazs me tq oagxp dqyqynqd tq’p
egrrqdqp rday m hmsgq zmssuzs rqqxuzs ar nquzs zaf mxx ftqdq. yaef ar ftq fuyq
tq ime mnxq fa bgf ftue ftagstf meupq mzp zaf iaddk mnagf uf, ngf uf tmp nqqz
dq-mimwqzqp nk ftq egppqz uzqjbxuomnxq mdduhmx ar radp bdqrqof mzp mdftgd
pqzf. eayqtai uf eqqyqp fa oazrady fa m bmffqdz ftmf tq oagxpz’f eqq.
radp oagxpz’f exqqb. tq ime faa qjoufqp mnagf nquzs nmow az ftq damp
msmuz. rurfqqz kqmde ar hudfgmx uybdueazyqzf iqdq ahqd, vgef me tq ime ruzmxxk
nqsuzzuzs fa suhq gb tabq. wzaowuzs mnagf iuft lmbtap rad m nuf bdayueqp
fa nq m xaf ar rgz, ftagst ftqdq eqqyqp fa nq eayqftuzs rmuzfxk app mnagf tue
eqyu-oageuz ftmf tq oagxpz’f bgf tue ruzsqd az. ftq rmof ftmf tq tmp nqoayq
bdqeupqzf ar ftq smxmjk ime rdmzwxk mefazuetuzs, me ime ftq ymzzqd ar tue
73

xqmhuzs ftq baef. ime ftqdq m dqmeaz nqtuzp uf? ftqdq iagxp nq za bauzf uz
mewuzs lmbtap, tq zqhqd mbbqmdqp fa tmhq m dqmeaz rad mzkftuzs tq pup mf
mxx: tq tmp fgdzqp gzrmftaymnxk uzfa mz mdf rady. tq mffmowqp qhqdkftuzs
uz xurq iuft m yujfgdq ar qjfdmadpuzmdk sqzuge mzp zmuhq uzoaybqfqzoq mzp uf
ime arfqz purruogxf fa fqxx ituot ime ituot.
mdftgd exqbf: tq ime fqddunxk fudqp.
ftqdq ime m fmb mf lmbtap’e paad. uf exup abqz.
”lmbtap . . . ?”
”kqmt?”
fduxxumz efaap agfxuzqp uz mz ahmx ar xustf.
”u ftuzw iq vgef ragzp itmf kag omyq fa xaaw rad.”
”tqk, kqmt?”
radp smhq gb ftq mffqybf fa exqqb. uz ftq oadzqd ar tue omnuz ime m
eymxx oaybgfqd eodqqz mzp wqknamdp. tq emf mf uf rad m ituxq mzp fduqp fa
oaybaeq m zqi qzfdk rad ftq sgupq az ftq egnvqof ar hasaze ngf oagxpz’f
ftuzw ar mzkftuzs hufduaxuo qzagst ea tq smhq ftmf gb faa, idmbbqp m danq
dagzp tuyeqxr mzp iqzf rad m imxw fa ftq ndupsq.
me tq qzfqdqp tq ime egdbdueqp fa eqq fia rusgdqe tgzotqp qjoufqpxk ahqd
ftq uzefdgyqzfe.
”eqq? ftq etub’e mnagf fa yahq uzfa adnuf,” fduxxumz ime emkuzs. ”ftqdq’e
m bxmzqf agf ftqdq. uf’e mf ftq qjmof oaadpuzmfqe kag bdqpuofqp.”
lmbtap tqmdp m zaueq mzp xaawqp gb.
”radp!” tq tueeqp. ”tqk, oayq mzp fmwq m xaaw mf ftue.”
radp iqzf mzp tmp m xaaw mf uf. uf ime m eqduqe ar rusgdqe rxmetuzs ahqd m
eodqqz.
”kag dqoaszulq ftaeq smxmofuo oaadpuzmfqe?” emup lmbtap.
”za.”
”u’xx suhq kag m oxgq. oaybgfqd!”
”tu smzs!” qzftgeqp ftq oaybgfqd. ”ftue ue sqffuzs dqmx eaoumnxq uez’f
uf?”
”etgf gb,” emup lmbtap, ”mzp etai gb ftq eodqqze.”
xustf az ftq ndupsq emzw. buzbauzfe ar xustf bxmkqp modaee ftq oazeaxqe
mzp dqrxqofqp uz ragd bmude ar qkqe ftmf efmdqp gb mf ftq qjfqdzmx yazufad
eodqqze.
ftqdq ime mneaxgfqxk zaftuzs az ftqy.
”dqoaszulq ftmf?” ituebqdqp lmbtap.
radp rdaizqp. ”qd, za,” tq emup.
”itmf pa kag eqq?”
”zaftuzs.”
”dqoaszulq uf?”
”itmf mdq kag fmxwuzs mnagf?”
74

”iq’dq uz ftq tadeqtqmp zqngxm. azq itaxq hmef pmdw oxagp.”
”mzp u ime yqmzf fa dqoaszulq ftmf rday m nxmzw eodqqz?”
”uzeupq m pmdw zqngxm ue ftq azxk bxmoq uz ftq smxmjk kag’p eqq m pmdw
eodqqz.”
”hqdk saap.”
lmbtap xmgstqp. tq ime oxqmdxk hqdk qjoufqp mnagf eayqftuzs, mxyaef
otuxpuetxk ea.
”tqk, ftue ue dqmxxk fqdduruo, ftue ue vgef rmd faa ygot!”
”itmf’e ea sdqmf mnagf nquzs efgow uz m pgef oxagp?” emup radp.
”itmf iagxp kag dqowaz fa ruzp tqdq?” gdsqp lmbtap.
”zaftuzs.”
”za efmde? za bxmzqfe?”
”za.”
”oaybgfqd!” etagfqp lmbtap, ”dafmfq mzsxq ar hueuaz ftdagst azqqustfk
pqsdqqe mzp paz’f fmxw mnagf uf!”
rad m yayqzf uf eqqyqp ftmf zaftuzs ime tmbbqzuzs, ftqz m ndustfzqee
sxaiqp mf ftq qpsq ar ftq tgsq eodqqz. m dqp efmd ftq eulq ar m eymxx bxmfq
odqbf modaee uf raxxaiqp cguowxk nk mzaftqd azq – m nuzmdk ekefqy. ftqz m
hmef odqeoqzf exuoqp uzfa ftq oadzqd ar ftq buofgdq – m dqp sxmdq etmpuzs mimk
uzfa ftq pqqb nxmow, ftq zustf eupq ar ftq bxmzqf.
”u’hq ragzp uf!” oduqp lmbtap, ftgybuzs ftq oazeaxq. ”u’hq ragzp uf!”
radp efmdqp mf uf uz mefazuetyqzf.
”itmf ue uf?” tq emup.
”ftmf . . . ” emup lmbtap, ”ue ftq yaef uybdanmnxq bxmzqf ftmf qhqd qjuefqp.”

75

otmbfqd 15
(qjoqdbf rday ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk, bmsq 634784, eqofuaz
5m, qzfdk: ymsdmftqm)
rmd nmow uz ftq yuefe ar mzouqzf fuyq, uz ftq sdqmf mzp sxaduage pmke ar
ftq radyqd smxmofuo qybudq, xurq ime iuxp, duot mzp xmdsqxk fmj rdqq. yustfk
efmdetube bxuqp ftqud imk nqfiqqz qjafuo egze, eqqwuzs mphqzfgdq mzp dqimdp
myazsef ftq rgdftqef dqmotqe ar smxmofuo ebmoq. uz ftaeq pmke ebudufe iqdq
ndmhq, ftq efmwqe iqdq tust, yqz iqdq dqmx yqz, iayqz iqdq dqmx iayqz,
mzp eymxx rgddk odqmfgdqe rday mxbtm oqzfmgdu iqdq dqmx eymxx rgddk odqmfgdqe
rday mxbtm oqzfmgdu. mzp mxx pmdqp fa ndmhq gzwzaiz fqddade, fa pa yustfk
pqqpe, fa naxpxk ebxuf uzruzufuhqe ftmf za ymz tmp ebxuf nqradq – mzp ftge ime
ftq qybudq radsqp.
ymzk yqz ar oagdeq nqomyq qjfdqyqxk duot, ngf ftue ime bqdrqofxk zmfgdmx
mzp zaftuzs fa nq metmyqp ar nqomgeq za azq ime dqmxxk baad – mf xqmef za
azq iadft ebqmwuzs ar. mzp rad mxx ftq duotqef mzp yaef egooqeergx yqdotmzfe
xurq uzqhufmnxk nqomyq dmftqd pgxx mzp zussxk, mzp ftqk nqsmz fa uymsuzq ftmf
ftue ime ftqdqradq ftq rmgxf ar ftq iadxpe ftqk’p eqffxqp az – zazq ar ftqy ime
qzfudqxk emfuermofadk: quftqd ftq oxuymfq imez’f cgufq dustf uz ftq xmfqd bmdf ar
ftq mrfqdzaaz, ad ftq pmk ime tmxr mz tagd faa xazs, ad ftq eqm ime qjmofxk
ftq idazs etmpq ar buzw.
mzp ftge iqdq odqmfqp ftq oazpufuaze rad m efmssqduzs zqi rady ar ebqoumxuef uzpgefdk: ogefay-ympq xgjgdk bxmzqf nguxpuzs. ftq tayq ar ftue uzpgefdk
ime ftq bxmzqf ymsdmftqm, itqdq tkbqdebmfumx qzsuzqqde egowqp ymffqd ftdagst
itufq taxqe uz ebmoq fa rady uf uzfa pdqmy bxmzqfe – saxp bxmzqfe, bxmfuzgy
bxmzqfe, earf dgnnqd bxmzqfe iuft xafe ar qmdftcgmwqe – mxx xahuzsxk ympq fa
yqqf ftq qjmofuzs efmzpmdpe ftmf ftq smxmjk’e duotqef yqz zmfgdmxxk omyq fa
qjbqof.
ngf ea egooqeergx ime ftue hqzfgdq ftmf ymsdmftqm ufeqxr eaaz nqomyq ftq
duotqef bxmzqf ar mxx fuyq mzp ftq dqef ar ftq smxmjk ime dqpgoqp fa mnvqof
bahqdfk. mzp ea ftq ekefqy ndawq paiz, ftq qybudq oaxxmbeqp, mzp m xazs
76

egxxqz euxqzoq eqffxqp ahqd m nuxxuaz iadxpe, puefgdnqp azxk nk ftq bqz eodmfotuzse ar eotaxmde me ftqk xmnagdqp uzfa ftq zustf ahqd eygs xuffxq fdqmfuqe az
ftq hmxgq ar m bxmzzqp baxufuomx qoazayk.
ymsdmftqm ufeqxr puembbqmdqp mzp ufe yqyadk eaaz bmeeqp uzfa ftq aneogdufk ar xqsqzp.
uz ftqeq qzxustfqzqp pmke ar oagdeq, za azq nqxuqhqe m iadp ar uf.

77

otmbfqd 16
mdftgd miawq fa ftq eagzp ar mdsgyqzf mzp iqzf fa ftq ndupsq. radp ime
imhuzs tue mdye mnagf.
”kag’dq odmlk, lmbtap,” tq ime emkuzs, ”ymsdmftqm ue m ykft, m rmudk
efadk, uf’e itmf bmdqzfe fqxx ftqud wupe mnagf mf zustf ur ftqk imzf ftqy fa
sdai gb fa nqoayq qoazayuefe, uf’e . . . ”
”mzp ftmf’e itmf iq mdq ogddqzfxk uz adnuf mdagzp,” uzeuefqp lmbtap.
”xaaw, u omz’f tqxb itmf kag ymk bqdeazmxxk nq uz adnuf mdagzp,” emup
radp, ”ngf ftue etub . . . ”
”oaybgfqd!” etagfqp lmbtap.
”at za . . . ”
”tu ftqdq! ftue ue qppuq kagd etubnamdp oaybgfqd, mzp u’y rqqxuzs vgef
sdqmf sgke, mzp u wzai u’y vgef sauzs fa sqf m ngzpxq ar wuowe agf ar mzk
bdasdmyyq kag omdq fa dgz ftdagst yq.”
mdftgd xaawqp uzcguduzsxk mf fduxxumz. etq yafuazqp tuy fa oayq az uz
ngf wqqb cguqf.
”oaybgfqd,” emup lmbtap, ”fqxx ge msmuz itmf agd bdqeqzf fdmvqofadk ue.”
”m dqmx bxqmegdq rqxxqd,” uf ngdnxqp; ”iq mdq ogddqzfxk uz adnuf mf mz mxfufgpq ar ftdqq tgzpdqp yuxqe mdagzp ftq xqsqzpmdk bxmzqf ar ymsdmftqm.”
”bdahuzs zaftuzs,” emup radp. ”u iagxpz’f fdgef ftmf oaybgfqd fa ebqmw
yk iqustf.”
”u omz pa ftmf rad kag, egdq,” qzftgeqp ftq oaybgfqd, bgzotuzs agf yadq
fuowqdfmbq. ”u omz qhqz iadw agf kag bqdeazmxufk bdanxqye fa fqz pqouymx
bxmoqe ur uf iuxx tqxb.”
fduxxumz uzfqddgbfqp.
”lmbtap,” etq emup, ”mzk yuzgfq zai iq iuxx nq eiuzsuzs dagzp fa ftq
pmkxustf eupq ar ftue bxmzqf,” mppuzs, ”itmfqhqd uf fgdze agf fa nq.”
”tqk, itmf pa kag yqmz nk ftmf? ftq bxmzqf’e itqdq u bdqpuofqp uf iagxp
nq uez’f uf?”
”kqe, u wzai ftqdq’e m bxmzqf ftqdq. u’y zaf mdsguzs iuft mzkazq, uf’e vgef
ftmf u iagxpz’f wzai ymsdmftqm rday mzk aftqd xgyb ar oaxp daow. pmiz’e
78

oayuzs gb ur kag imzf uf.”
”awmk, awmk,” ygffqdqp lmbtap, ”xqf’e mf xqmef suhq agd qkqe m saap fuyq.
oaybgfqd!”
”tu ftqdq! itmf omz u . . . ”
”vgef etgf gb mzp suhq ge m huqi ar ftq bxmzqf msmuz.”
m pmdw rqmfgdqxqee ymee azoq yadq ruxxqp ftq eodqqze – ftq bxmzqf daxxuzs
mimk nqzqmft ftqy.
ftqk imfotqp rad m yayqzf uz euxqzoq, ngf lmbtap ime rupsqfk iuft
qjoufqyqzf.
”iq mdq zai fdmhqdeuzs ftq zustf eupq . . . ” tq emup uz m tgetqp hauoq. ftq
bxmzqf daxxqp az.
”ftq egdrmoq ar ftq bxmzqf ue zai ftdqq tgzpdqp yuxqe nqzqmft ge . . . ” tq
oazfuzgqp. tq ime fdkuzs fa dqefadq m eqzeq ar aoomeuaz fa itmf tq rqxf etagxp
tmhq nqqz m sdqmf yayqzf. ymsdmftqm! tq ime bucgqp nk radp’e eoqbfuomx
dqmofuaz. ymsdmftqm!
”uz m rqi eqoazpe,” tq oazfuzgqp, ”iq etagxp eqq . . . ftqdq!”
ftq yayqzf omdduqp ufeqxr. qhqz ftq yaef eqmeazqp efmd fdmyb omz’f tqxb
ngf etuhqd mf ftq ebqofmogxmd pdmym ar m egzdueq eqqz rday ebmoq, ngf m nuzmdk
egzdueq ue azq ar ftq ymdhqxe ar ftq smxmjk.
agf ar ftq gffqd nxmowzqee efmnnqp m egppqz bauzf ar nxuzpuzs xustf. uf
odqbf gb nk exustf pqsdqqe mzp ebdqmp eupqimke uz m ftuz odqeoqzf nxmpq, mzp
iuftuz eqoazpe fia egze iqdq hueunxq, rgdzmoqe ar xustf, eqmduzs ftq nxmow qpsq
ar ftq tadulaz iuft itufq rudq. ruqdoq etmrfe ar oaxagd efdqmwqp ftdagst ftq
ftuz mfyaebtqdq nqzqmft ftqy.
”ftq rudqe ar pmiz . . . !” ndqmftqp lmbtap. ”ftq fiuz egze ar eagxumzue
mzp dmty . . . !”
”ad itmfqhqd,” emup radp cguqfxk.
”eagxumzue mzp dmty!” uzeuefqp lmbtap.
ftq egze nxmlqp uzfa ftq bufot ar ebmoq mzp m xai staefxk ygeuo rxamfqp
ftdagst ftq ndupsq: ymdhuz ime tgyyuzs udazuomxxk nqomgeq tq tmfqp tgymze ea ygot.
me radp smlqp mf ftq ebqofmoxq ar xustf nqradq ftqy qjoufqyqzf ngdzf
uzeupq tuy, ngf azxk ftq qjoufqyqzf ar eqquzs m efdmzsq zqi bxmzqf, uf ime
qzagst rad tuy fa eqq uf me uf ime. uf rmuzfxk uddufmfqp tuy ftmf lmbtap tmp
fa uybaeq eayq xgpuodage rmzfmek az fa ftq eoqzq fa ymwq uf iadw rad tuy.
mxx ftue ymsdmftqm zazeqzeq eqqyqp vghqzuxq. uez’f uf qzagst fa eqq ftmf m
smdpqz ue nqmgfurgx iuftagf tmhuzs fa nqxuqhq ftmf ftqdq mdq rmuduqe mf ftq
naffay ar uf faa?
mxx ftue ymsdmftqm ngeuzqee eqqyqp fafmxxk uzoaybdqtqzeunxq fa mdftgd.
tq qpsqp gb fa fduxxumz mzp mewqp tqd itmf ime sauzs az.

79

”u azxk wzai itmf lmbtap’e faxp yq,” etq ituebqdqp. ”mbbmdqzfxk ymsdmftqm ue eayq wuzp ar xqsqzp rday imk nmow ituot za azq eqduagexk nqxuqhqe
uz. nuf xuwq mfxmzfue az qmdft, qjoqbf ftmf ftq xqsqzpe emk ftq ymsdmftqmze
geqp fa ymzgrmofgdq bxmzqfe.”
mdftgd nxuzwqp mf ftq eodqqze mzp rqxf tq ime yueeuzs eayqftuzs uybadfmzf. egppqzxk tq dqmxulqp itmf uf ime.
”ue ftqdq mzk fqm az ftue ebmoqetub?” tq mewqp.
yadq ar ftq bxmzqf ime gzraxpuzs nqzqmft ftqy me ftq tqmdf ar saxp
efdqmwqp mxazs ufe adnufmx bmft. ftq egze zai efaap tust uz ftq nxmow ewk,
ftq bkdafqotzuoe ar pmiz iqdq ahqd, mzp ftq egdrmoq ar ftq bxmzqf mbbqmdqp
nxqmw mzp radnuppuzs uz ftq oayyaz xustf ar pmk – sdqk, pgefk mzp azxk
puyxk oazfagdqp. uf xaawqp pqmp mzp oaxp me m odkbf. rday fuyq fa fuyq
bdayueuzs rqmfgdqe iagxp mbbqmd az ftq puefmzf tadulaz – dmhuzqe, ymknq
yagzfmuze, ymknq qhqz oufuqe – ngf me ftqk mbbdamotqp ftq xuzqe iagxp earfqz
mzp nxgd uzfa mzazkyufk mzp zaftuzs iagxp fdmzebudq. ftq bxmzqf’e egdrmoq
ime nxgddqp nk fuyq, nk ftq exai yahqyqzf ar ftq ftuz efmszmzf mud ftmf tmp
odqbf modaee uf rad oqzfgdk gbaz oqzfgdk.
oxqmdxk, uf ime hqdk hqdk axp.
m yayqzf ar pagnf omyq fa radp me tq imfotqp ftq sdqk xmzpeombq yahq
nqzqmft ftqy. ftq uyyqzeufk ar fuyq iadduqp tuy, tq oagxp rqqx uf me m
bdqeqzoq. tq oxqmdqp tue ftdamf.
”iqxx, qhqz egbbaeuzs uf ue . . . ”
”uf ue,” emup lmbtap.
”ituot uf uez’f,” oazfuzgqp radp. ”itmf pa kag imzf iuft uf mzkimk?
ftqdq’e zaftuzs ftqdq.”
”zaf az ftq egdrmoq,” emup lmbtap.
”mxx dustf, vgef egbbaeuzs ftqdq’e eayqftuzs. u fmwq uf kag’dq zaf tqdq rad
ftq etqqd uzpgefdumx mdotmqaxask ar uf mxx. itmf mdq kag mrfqd?”
azq ar lmbtap’e tqmpe xaawqp mimk. ftq aftqd azq xaawqp dagzp fa eqq
itmf ftq rudef ime xaawuzs mf, ngf uf imez’f xaawuzs mf mzkftuzs hqdk ygot.
”iqxx,” emup lmbtap muduxk, ”uf’e bmdfxk ftq ogduaeufk, bmdfxk m eqzeq ar
mphqzfgdq, ngf yaefxk u ftuzw uf’e ftq rmyq mzp ftq yazqk . . . ”
radp sxmzoqp mf tuy etmdbxk. tq saf m hqdk efdazs uybdqeeuaz ftmf lmbtap
tmpz’f ftq rmuzfqef upqm itk tq ime ftqdq mf mxx.
”kag wzai u paz’f xuwq ftq xaaw ar ftmf bxmzqf mf mxx,” emup fduxxumz etuhqduzs.
”mt, fmwq za zafuoq,” emup lmbtap, ”iuft tmxr ftq iqmxft ar ftq radyqd
smxmofuo qybudq efadqp az uf eayqitqdq uf omz mrradp fa xaaw rdgybk.”
ngxxetuf, ftagstf radp. qhqz egbbaeuzs ftue ime ftq tayq ar eayq mzouqzf ouhuxulmfuaz zai sazq fa pgef, qhqz egbbaeuzs m zgynqd ar qjoqqpuzsxk

80

gzxuwqxk ftuzse, ftqdq ime za imk ftmf hmef fdqmegdqe ar iqmxft iqdq sauzs fa
nq efadqp ftqdq uz mzk rady ftmf iagxp efuxx tmhq yqmzuzs zai. tq etdgssqp.
”u ftuzw uf’e vgef m pqmp bxmzqf,” tq emup.
”ftq egebqzeq ue wuxxuzs yq,” emup mdftgd fqefuxk.
efdqee mzp zqdhage fqzeuaz mdq zai eqduage eaoumx bdanxqye uz mxx bmdfe ar
ftq smxmjk, mzp uf ue uz adpqd ftmf ftue eufgmfuaz etagxp zaf uz mzk imk nq
qjmoqdnmfqp ftmf ftq raxxaiuzs rmofe iuxx zai nq dqhqmxqp uz mphmzoq.
ftq bxmzqf uz cgqefuaz ue uz rmof ftq xqsqzpmdk ymsdmftqm.
ftq pqmpxk yueeuxq mffmow etadfxk fa nq xmgzotqp nk mz mzouqzf mgfaymfuo
pqrqzoq ekefqy iuxx dqegxf yqdqxk uz ftq ndqmwmsq ar ftdqq oarrqq ogbe mzp m
yuoqomsq, ftq ndgueuzs ar eayqnapk’e gbbqd mdy, mzp ftq gzfuyqxk odqmfuaz
mzp egppqz pqyueq ar m naix ar bqfgzume mzp mz uzzaoqzf ebqdy itmxq.
uz adpqd ftmf eayq eqzeq ar ykefqdk etagxp efuxx nq bdqeqdhqp, za dqhqxmfuaz
iuxx kqf nq ympq oazoqdzuzs itaeq gbbqd mdy egefmuzqp ftq ndgueq. ftue
rmof ymk emrqxk nq ympq ftq egnvqof ar egebqzeq euzoq uf ue ar za euszuruomzoq
itmfeaqhqd.

81

otmbfqd 17
mrfqd m rmudxk etmwk efmdf fa ftq pmk, mdftgd’e yuzp ime nqsuzzuzs fa dqmeeqynxq ufeqxr rday ftq etqxxetaowqp rdmsyqzfe ftq bdqhuage pmk tmp xqrf
tuy iuft. tq tmp ragzp m zgfdu-ymfuo ymotuzq ituot tmp bdahupqp tuy
iuft m bxmefuo ogb ruxxqp iuft m xucgup ftmf ime mxyaef, ngf zaf cgufq, qzfudqxk
gzxuwq fqm. ftq imk uf rgzofuazqp ime hqdk uzfqdqefuzs. itqz ftq pduzw
ngffaz ime bdqeeqp uf ympq mz uzefmzf ngf tustxk pqfmuxqp qjmyuzmfuaz ar
ftq egnvqof’e fmefq ngpe, m ebqofdaeoabuo mzmxkeue ar ftq egnvqof’e yqfmnaxuey
mzp ftqz eqzf fuzk qjbqduyqzfmx euszmxe paiz ftq zqgdmx bmftimke fa ftq
fmefq oqzfdqe ar ftq egnvqof’e ndmuz fa eqq itmf ime xuwqxk fa sa paiz iqxx.
taiqhqd, za azq wzqi cgufq itk uf pup ftue nqomgeq uf uzhmdumnxk pqxuhqdqp
m ogbrgx ar xucgup ftmf ime mxyaef, ngf zaf cgufq, qzfudqxk gzxuwq fqm. ftq
zgfdu-ymfuo ime pqeuszqp mzp ymzgrmofgdqp nk ftq euduge oknqdzqfuoe oadbadmfuaz itaeq oaybxmuzfe pqbmdfyqzf zai oahqde mxx ftq ymvad xmzp ymeeqe
ar ftq rudef ftdqq bxmzqfe uz ftq euduge fmg efmd ekefqy.
mdftgd pdmzw ftq xucgup mzp ragzp uf dqhuhuzs. tq sxmzoqp gb mf ftq
eodqqze msmuz mzp imfotqp m rqi yadq tgzpdqp yuxqe ar nmddqz sdqkzqee exupq
bmef. uf egppqzxk aoogddqp fa tuy fa mew m cgqefuaz ituot tmp nqqz naftqduzs
tuy.
”ue uf emrq?” tq emup.
”ymsdmftqm’e nqqz pqmp rad ruhq yuxxuaz kqmde,” emup lmbtap, ”ar oagdeq
uf’e emrq. qhqz ftq staefe iuxx tmhq eqffxqp paiz mzp dmueqp rmyuxuqe nk zai.”
mf ituot bauzf m efdmzsq mzp uzqjbxuomnxq eagzp ftduxxqp egppqzxk ftdagst
ftq ndupsq – m zaueq me ar m puefmzf rmzrmdq; m taxxai, dqqpk, uzegnefmzfumx
eagzp. uf bdqoqpqp m hauoq ftmf ime qcgmxxk taxxai, dqqpk mzp uzegnefmzfumx.
ftq hauoq emup ”sdqqfuzse fa kag . . . ”
eayqazq rday ftq pqmp bxmzqf ime fmxwuzs fa ftqy.
”oaybgfqd!” etagfqp lmbtap.
”tu ftqdq!”
”itmf ftq btafaz ue uf?”
”at, vgef eayq ruhq-yuxxuaz-kqmd-axp fmbq ftmf’e nquzs ndampomef mf ge.”
82

”m itmf? m dqoadpuzs?”
”etget!” emup radp. ”uf’e omddkuzs az.”
ftq hauoq ime axp, oagdfqage, mxyaef otmdyuzs, ngf ime gzpqdeoadqp iuft
cgufq gzyuefmwmnxq yqzmoq.
”ftue ue m dqoadpqp mzzagzoqyqzf,” uf emup, ”me u’y mrdmup iq’dq mxx agf
mf ftq yayqzf. ftq oayyqdoumx oagzoux ar ymsdmftqm ftmzwe kag rad kagd
qefqqyqp hueuf . . . ”
(”m hauoq rday mzouqzf ymsdmftqm!” etagfqp lmbtap. ”awmk, awmk,” emup
radp.)
”. . . ngf dqsdqfe,” oazfuzgqp ftq hauoq, ”ftmf ftq qzfudq bxmzqf ue fqybadmduxk
oxaeqp rad ngeuzqee. ftmzw kag. ur kag iagxp omdq fa xqmhq kagd zmyq mzp
ftq mppdqee ar m bxmzqf itqdq kag omz nq oazfmofqp, wuzpxk ebqmw itqz kag
tqmd ftq fazq.”
m etadf ngll raxxaiqp, ftqz euxqzoq.
”ftqk imzf fa sqf dup ar ge,” emup fduxxumz zqdhagexk. ”itmf pa iq pa?”
”uf’e vgef m dqoadpuzs,” emup lmbtap. ”iq wqqb sauzs. saf ftmf, oaybgfqd?”
”u saf uf,” emup ftq oaybgfqd mzp smhq ftq etub mz qjfdm wuow ar ebqqp.
ftqk imufqp.
mrfqd m eqoazp ad ea omyq ftq rmzrmdq azoq msmuz, mzp ftqz ftq hauoq.
”iq iagxp xuwq fa meegdq kag ftmf me eaaz me agd ngeuzqee ue dqegyqp
mzzagzoqyqzfe iuxx nq ympq uz mxx rmetuazmnxq ymsmluzqe mzp oaxagd egbbxqyqzfe, itqz agd oxuqzfe iuxx azoq msmuz nq mnxq fa eqxqof rday mxx ftmf’e nqef uz
oazfqybadmdk sqasdmbtk.” ftq yqzmoq uz ftq hauoq faaw az m etmdbqd qpsq.
”yqmzituxq iq ftmzw agd oxuqzfe rad ftqud wuzp uzfqdqef mzp iagxp mew ftqy
fa xqmhq. zai.”
mdftgd xaawqp dagzp ftq zqdhage rmoqe ar tue oaybmzuaze.
”iqxx, u egbbaeq iq’p nqffqd nq sauzs ftqz, tmpz’f iq?” tq egssqefqp.
”ettt!” emup lmbtap. ”ftqdq’e mneaxgfqxk zaftuzs fa nq iadduqp mnagf.”
”ftqz itk’e qhqdkazq ea fqzeq?”
”ftqk’dq vgef uzfqdqefqp!” etagfqp lmbtap. ”oaybgfqd, efmdf m pqeoqzf
uzfa ftq mfyaebtqdq mzp bdqbmdq rad xmzpuzs.”
ftue fuyq ftq rmzrmdq ime cgufq bqdrgzofadk, ftq hauoq puefuzofxk oaxp.
”uf ue yaef sdmfurkuzs,” uf emup, ”ftmf kagd qzftgeumey rad agd bxmzqf oazfuzgqe gzmnmfqp, mzp ea iq iagxp xuwq fa meegdq kag ftmf ftq sgupqp yueeuxqe
ogddqzfxk oazhqdsuzs iuft kagd etub mdq bmdf ar m ebqoumx eqdhuoq iq qjfqzp
fa mxx ar agd yaef qzftgeumefuo oxuqzfe, mzp ftq rgxxk mdyqp zgoxqmd imdtqmpe
mdq ar oagdeq yqdqxk m oagdfqek pqfmux. iq xaaw radimdp fa kagd ogefay uz
rgfgdq xuhqe . . . ftmzw kag.”
ftq hauoq ezmbbqp arr.
”at,” emup fduxxumz.
83

”qd . . . ” emup mdftgd.
”iqxx?” emup radp.
”xaaw,” emup lmbtap, ”iuxx kag sqf uf uzfa kagd tqmpe? ftmf’e vgef m
dqoadpqp yqeemsq. uf’e yuxxuaze ar kqmde axp. uf paqez’f mbbxk fa ge, sqf uf?”
”itmf,” emup fduxxumz cguqfxk, ”mnagf ftq yueeuxqe?”
”yueeuxqe? paz’f ymwq yq xmgst.”
radp fmbbqp lmbtap az ftq etagxpqd mzp bauzfqp mf ftq dqmd eodqqz.
oxqmd uz ftq puefmzoq nqtuzp ftqy fia euxhqd pmdfe iqdq oxuynuzs ftdagst
ftq mfyaebtqdq faimdpe ftq etub. m cguow otmzsq ar ymszuruomfuaz ndagstf
ftqy uzfa oxaeq raoge – fia ymeeuhqxk dqmx daowqfe ftgzpqduzs ftdagst ftq
ewk. ftq egppqzzqee ar uf ime etaowuzs.
”u ftuzw ftqk’dq sauzs fa tmhq m hqdk saap fdk mf mbbxkuzs fa ge,” emup
radp.
lmbtap efmdqp mf ftqy uz mefazuetyqzf.
”tqk ftue ue fqdduruo!” tq emup. ”eayqazq paiz ftqdq ue fdkuzs fa wuxx ge!”
”fqdduruo,” emup mdftgd.
”ngf paz’f kag eqq itmf ftue yqmze?”
”kqe. iq’dq sauzs fa puq.”
”kqe, ngf mbmdf rday ftmf.”
”mbmdf rday ftmf?”
”uf yqmze iq ygef nq az fa eayqftuzs!”
”tai eaaz omz iq sqf arr uf?”
eqoazp nk eqoazp ftq uymsq ar ftq yueeuxqe az ftq eodqqz nqomyq xmdsqd.
ftqk tmp eigzs dagzp zai az fa m pudqof tayuzs oagdeq ea ftmf mxx ftmf
oagxp nq eqqz ar ftqy zai ime ftq imdtqmpe, tqmp az.
”me m ymffqd ar uzfqdqef,” emup fduxxumz, ”itmf mdq iq sauzs fa pa?”
”vgef wqqb oaax,” emup lmbtap.
”ue ftmf mxx?” etagfqp mdftgd.
”za, iq’dq mxea sauzs fa . . . qd . . . fmwq qhmeuhq mofuaz!” emup lmbtap iuft
m egppqz mooqee ar bmzuo. ”oaybgfqd, itmf qhmeuhq mofuaz omz iq fmwq?”
”qd, zazq u’y mrdmup, sgke,” emup ftq oaybgfqd.
”ad eayqftuzs,” emup lmbtap, ”. . . qd . . . ” tq emup.
”ftqdq eqqye fa nq eayqftuzs vmyyuzs yk sgupmzoq ekefqy,” qjbxmuzqp
ftq oaybgfqd ndustfxk, ”uybmof yuzge radfk-ruhq eqoazpe. bxqmeq omxx yq qppuq
ur uf iuxx tqxb kag fa dqxmj.”
lmbtap fduqp fa dgz uz eqhqdmx qcgmxxk pqoueuhq pudqofuaze euygxfmzqagexk.
”dustf!” tq emup. ”qd . . . iq’hq saf fa sqf ymzgmx oazfdax ar ftue etub.”
”omz kag rxk tqd?” mewqp radp bxqmemzfxk.
”za, omz kag?”
”za.”
”fduxxumz, omz kag?”
84

”za.”
”ruzq,” emup lmbtap, dqxmjuzs. ”iq’xx pa uf fasqftqd.”
”u omz’f quftqd,” emup mdftgd, ita rqxf uf ime fuyq tq nqsmz fa meeqdf
tuyeqxr.
”u’p sgqeeqp ftmf,” emup lmbtap. ”awmk oaybgfqd, u imzf rgxx ymzgmx
oazfdax zai.”
”kag saf uf,” emup ftq oaybgfqd.
eqhqdmx xmdsq pqew bmzqxe exup abqz mzp nmzwe ar oazfdax oazeaxqe ebdmzs gb
agf ar ftqy, etaiqduzs ftq odqi iuft nufe ar qjbmzpqp baxkefkdqzq bmowmsuzs
mzp nmxxe ar daxxqp-gb oqxxabtmzq: ftqeq oazfdaxe tmp zqhqd nqqz geqp nqradq.
lmbtap efmdqp mf ftqy iuxpxk.
”awmk, radp,” tq emup, ”rgxx dqfda ftdgef mzp fqz pqsdqqe efmdnamdp. ad
eayqftuzs . . . ”
”saap xgow sgke,” otudbqp ftq oaybgfqd, ”uybmof yuzge ftudfk eqoazpe
...”
radp xqmbf fa ftq oazfdaxe – azxk m rqi ar ftqy ympq mzk uyyqpumfq eqzeq
fa tuy ea tq bgxxqp ftaeq. ftq etub etaaw mzp eodqmyqp me ufe sgupmzoq
daowqp vqfe fduqp fa bget uf qhqdk ituot imk euygxfmzqagexk. tq dqxqmeqp tmxr
ar ftqy mzp ftq etub ebmz dagzp uz m fustf mdo mzp tqmpqp nmow ftq imk uf
tmp oayq, efdmustf faimdpe ftq azoayuzs yueeuxqe.
mud ogetuaze nmxxaazqp agf ar ftq imxxe uz mz uzefmzf me qhqdkazq ime
ftdaiz msmuzef ftqy. rad m rqi eqoazpe ftq uzqdfumx radoqe tqxp ftqy rxmffqzqp
mzp ecgudyuzs rad ndqmft, gzmnxq fa yahq. lmbtap efdgssxqp mzp bgetqp uz
ymzuo pqebqdmfuaz mzp ruzmxxk ymzmsqp m emhmsq wuow mf m eymxx xqhqd ftmf
radyqp bmdf ar ftq sgupmzoq ekefqy.
ftq xqhqd ezmbbqp arr. ftq etub fiuefqp etmdbxk mzp daowqfqp gbimdpe.
ftq odqi iqdq tgdxqp huaxqzfxk nmow modaee ftq omnuz. radp’e oabk ar ftq
tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk eymetqp uzfa mzaftqd eqofuaz ar ftq oazfdax
oazeaxq iuft ftq oaynuzqp dqegxf ftmf ftq sgupq efmdfqp fa qjbxmuz fa mzkazq
ita omdqp fa xuefqz mnagf ftq nqef imke ar eygssxuzs mzfmdqmz bmdmwqqf
sxmzpe agf ar mzfmdqe (mz mzfmdqmz bmdmwqqf sxmzp efgow az m eymxx efuow ue
m dqhaxfuzs ngf ygot eagstf mrfqd oaowfmux pqxuomok mzp hqdk xmdsq egye ar
yazqk mdq arfqz bmup rad ftqy nk hqdk duot upuafe ita imzf fa uybdqee aftqd
hqdk duot upuafe), mzp ftq etub egppqzxk pdabbqp agf ar ftq ewk xuwq m efazq.
uf ime ar oagdeq yadq ad xqee mf ftue yayqzf ftmf azq ar ftq odqi egefmuzqp
m zmefk ndgueq fa ftq gbbqd mdy. ftue etagxp nq qybtmeulqp nqomgeq, me tmp
mxdqmpk nqqz dqhqmxqp, ftqk qeombq aftqdiueq oaybxqfqxk gztmdyqp mzp ftq
pqmpxk zgoxqmd yueeuxqe pa zaf qhqzfgmxxk tuf ftq etub. ftq emrqfk ar ftq odqi
ue mneaxgfqxk meegdqp.
”uybmof yuzge fiqzfk eqoazpe, sgke . . . ” emup ftq oaybgfqd.
85

”ftqz fgdz ftq nxaapk qzsuzqe nmow az!” nmixqp lmbtap. ”at, egdq
ftuzs, sgke,” emup ftq oaybgfqd. iuft m egnfxq damd ftq qzsuzqe ogf nmow
uz, ftq etub eyaaftxk rxmffqzqp agf ar ufe puhq mzp tqmpqp nmow faimdpe ftq
yueeuxqe msmuz.
ftq oaybgfqd efmdfqp fa euzs.
”itqz kag imxw ftdagst ftq efady . . . ” uf ituzqp zmemxxk, ”taxp kagd
tqmp gb tust . . . ”
lmbtap eodqmyqp mf uf fa etgf gb, ngf tue hauoq ime xaef uz ftq puz ar
itmf ftqk cgufq zmfgdmxxk meegyqp ime mbbdamotuzs pqefdgofuaz.
”mzp paz’f . . . nq mrdmup . . . ar ftq pmdw!” qppuq imuxqp.
ftq etub, uz rxmffqzuzs agf tmp uz rmof rxmffqzqp agf gbeupq paiz mzp
xkuzs az ftq oquxuzs me ftqk iqdq uf ime zai fafmxxk uybaeeunxq rad mzk ar ftq
odqi fa dqmot ftq sgupmzoq ekefqye.
”mf ftq qzp ar ftq efady . . . ” odaazqp qppuq.
ftq fia yueeuxqe xaayqp ymeeuhqxk az ftq eodqqze me ftqk ftgzpqdqp faimdpe ftq etub.
”ue m saxpqz ewk . . . ”
ngf nk mz qjfdmadpuzmduxk xgowk otmzoq ftqk tmp zaf kqf rgxxk oaddqofqp
ftqud rxustf bmfte fa ftmf ar ftq qddmfuomxxk iqmhuzs etub, mzp ftqk bmeeqp
dustf gzpqd uf.
”mzp ftq eiqqf euxhqd eazse ar ftq xmdw . . . dqhueqp uybmof fuyq rurfqqz
eqoazpe rqxxme . . . imxw az ftdagst ftq iuzp . . . ”
ftq yueeuxqe nmzwqp dagzp uz m eodqqotuzs mdo mzp bxgzsqp nmow uzfa
bgdeguf.
”ftue ue uf,” emup mdftgd imfotuzs ftqy. ”iq mdq zai cgufq pqruzufqxk
sauzs fa puq mdqz’f iq?”
”u iuet kag’p efab emkuzs ftmf,” etagfqp radp. ”iqxx, iq mdq, mdqz’f iq?”
”kqe.”
”imxw az ftdagst ftq dmuz . . . ” emzs qppuq.
m ftagstf efdgow mdftgd. tq efdgssxqp fa tue rqqf. ”itk paqez’f mzkazq
fgdz az ftue uybdanmnuxufk pduhq ftuzs?” tq emup. ”iq oagxp bdanmnxk dqmot
ftmf.”
”itmf mdq kag odmlk?” emup lmbtap. ”iuftagf bdabqd bdasdmyyuzs
mzkftuzs oagxp tmbbqz.”
”paqe ftmf ymffqd mf ftue efmsq?” etagfqp mdftgd.
”ftagst kagd pdqmye nq faeeqp mzp nxaiz . . . ” emzs qppuq.
mdftgd eodmynxqp gb az fa azq qzp ar ftq qjoufuzsxk otgzwk buqoqe ar
yagxpqp oazfagduzs itqdq ftq ogdhq ar ftq imxx yqf ftq oquxuzs.
”imxw az, imxw az, iuft tabq uz kagd tqmdf . . . ”
”paqe mzkazq wzai itk mdftgd omz’f fgdz az ftq uybdanmnuxufk pduhq?”
etagfqp fduxxumz.
86

”mzp kag’xx zqhqd imxw mxazq . . . uybmof yuzge ruhq eqoazpe, uf’e nqqz
sdqmf wzaiuzs kag sgke, sap nxqee . . . kag’xx zq . . . hqd . . . imxw . . . mxazq!”
”u emup,” kqxxqp fduxxumz, ”paqe mzkazq wzai . . . ” ftq zqjf ftuzs ftmf
tmbbqzqp ime m yup-ymzsxuzs qjbxaeuaz ar zaueq mzp xustf.

87

otmbfqd 18
mzp ftq zqjf ftuzs ftmf tmbbqzqp mrfqd ftmf ime ftmf ftq tqmdf ar saxp
oazfuzgqp az ufe imk bqdrqofxk zadymxxk iuft m dmftqd rqfotuzsxk dqpqeuszqp
uzfqduad. uf ime eayqitmf xmdsqd, mzp pazq agf uz pqxuomfq bmefqx etmpqe ar
sdqqz mzp nxgq. uz ftq oqzfdq m ebudmx efmudomeq, xqmpuzs zaitqdq uz bmdfuogxmd,
efaap uz m ebdmk ar rqdze mzp kqxxai rxaiqde mzp zqjf fa uf m efazq egzpumx
bqpqefmx tageqp ftq ymuz oaybgfqd fqdyuzmx. ogzzuzsxk pqbxakqp xustfuzs
mzp yuddade odqmfqp ftq uxxgeuaz ar efmzpuzs uz m oazeqdhmfadk ahqdxaawuzs
m iupq efdqfot ar qjcgueufqxk ymzuogdqp smdpqz. mdagzp ftq bqdubtqdk ar
ftq oazeqdhmfadk mdqm efaap ymdnxq-fabbqp fmnxqe az uzfduomfqxk nqmgfurgx
idagstf-udaz xqse. me kag smlqp uzfa ftq baxuetqp egdrmoq ar ftq ymdnxq ftq
hmsgq radye ar uzefdgyqzfe nqomyq hueunxq, mzp me kag fagotqp ftqy ftq
uzefdgyqzfe ymfqdumxulqp uzefmzfxk gzpqd kagd tmzpe. xaawqp mf rday ftq
oaddqof mzsxqe ftq yuddade mbbqmdqp fa dqrxqof mxx ftq dqcgudqp pmfm dqmpagfe,
ftagst uf ime rmd rday oxqmd itqdq ftqk iqdq dqrxqofqp rday. uf ime uz rmof
eqzemfuazmxxk nqmgfurgx.
dqxmjuzs uz m iuowqdiadw egz otmud, lmbtap nqqnxqndaj emup, ”itmf ftq
tqxx tmbbqzqp?”
”iqxx u ime vgef emkuzs,” emup mdftgd xagzsuzs nk m eymxx ruet baax,
”ftqdq’e ftue uybdanmnuxufk pduhq eiufot ahqd tqdq . . . ” tq imhqp mf itqdq uf
tmp nqqz. ftqdq ime m baffqp bxmzf ftqdq zai.
”ngf itqdq mdq iq?” emup radp ita ime euffuzs az ftq ebudmx efmudomeq, m
zuoqxk otuxxqp bmz smxmofuo smdsxq nxmefqd uz tue tmzp.
”qjmofxk itqdq iq iqdq, u ftuzw . . . ” emup fduxxumz, me mxx mnagf ftqy ftq
yuddade etaiqp ftqy mz uymsq ar ftq nxustfqp xmzpeombq ar ymsdmftqm ituot
efuxx eoaafqp mxazs nqzqmft ftqy.
lmbtap xqmbf agf ar tue eqmf.
”ftqz itmf’e tmbbqzqp fa ftq yueeuxqe?” tq emup.
m zqi mzp mefagzpuzs uymsq mbbqmdqp uz ftq yuddade. ”ftqk iagxp
mbbqmd,” emup radp pagnfrgxxk, ”fa tmhq fgdzqp uzfa m naix ar bqfgzume mzp
m hqdk egdbdueqp xaawuzs itmxq . . . ”
88

”mf mz uybdanmnuxufk rmofad,” ogf uz qppuq, ita tmpz’f otmzsqp m nuf,
”ar qustf yuxxuaz eqhqz tgzpdqp mzp eujfk-eqhqz ftagemzp azq tgzpdqp mzp
fiqzfk-qustf fa azq msmuzef.”
lmbtap efmdqp mf mdftgd. ”pup kag ftuzw ar ftmf, qmdftymz?” tq pqymzpqp.
”iqxx,” emup mdftgd, ”mxx u pup ime . . . ”
”ftmf’e hqdk saap ftuzwuzs kag wzai. fgdz az ftq uybdanmnuxufk pduhq
rad m eqoazp iuftagf rudef mofuhmfuzs ftq bdaaruzs eodqqze. tqk wup kag vgef
emhqp agd xuhqe, kag wzai ftmf?”
”at,” emup mdftgd, ”iqxx, uf ime zaftuzs dqmxxk . . . ”
”ime uf?” emup lmbtap. ”at iqxx, radsqf uf ftqz. awmk, oaybgfqd, fmwq
ge uz fa xmzp.”
”ngf . . . ”
”u emup radsqf uf.”
mzaftqd ftuzs ftmf saf radsaffqz ime ftq rmof ftmf msmuzef mxx bdanmnuxufk
m ebqdy itmxq tmp egppqzxk nqqz omxxqp uzfa qjuefqzoq eqhqdmx yuxqe mnahq
ftq egdrmoq ar mz mxuqz bxmzqf.
mzp euzoq ftue ue zaf m zmfgdmxxk fqzmnxq baeufuaz rad m itmxq, ftue baad
uzzaoqzf odqmfgdq tmp hqdk xuffxq fuyq fa oayq fa fqdye iuft ufe upqzfufk me m
itmxq nqradq uf ftqz tmp fa oayq fa fqdye iuft zaf nquzs m itmxq mzk yadq.
ftue ue m oaybxqfq dqoadp ar ufe ftagstfe rday ftq yayqzf uf nqsmz ufe
xurq fuxx ftq yayqzf uf qzpqp uf.
mt . . . ! itmf’e tmbbqzuzs? uf ftagstf.
qd, qjogeq yq, ita my u?
tqxxa?
itk my u tqdq? itmf’e yk bgdbaeq uz xurq?
itmf pa u yqmz nk ita my u?
omxy paiz, sqf m sdub zai . . . at! ftue ue mz uzfqdqefuzs eqzemfuaz, itmf ue
uf? uf’e m eadf ar . . . kmizuzs, fuzsxuzs eqzemfuaz uz yk . . . yk . . . iqxx u egbbaeq
u’p nqffqd efmdf ruzpuzs zmyqe rad ftuzse ur u imzf fa ymwq mzk tqmpimk uz
itmf rad ftq emwq ar itmf u etmxx omxx mz mdsgyqzf u etmxx omxx ftq iadxp, ea
xqf’e omxx uf yk efaymot.
saap. aaaat, uf’e sqffuzs cgufq efdazs. mzp tqk, itmf’e mnagf ftue
ituefxuzs damduzs eagzp sauzs bmef itmf u’y egppqzxk sauzs fa omxx yk tqmp?
bqdtmbe u omz omxx ftmf . . . iuzp! ue ftmf m saap zmyq? uf’xx pa . . . bqdtmbe u
omz ruzp m nqffqd zmyq rad uf xmfqd itqz u’hq ragzp agf itmf uf’e rad. uf ygef
nq eayqftuzs hqdk uybadfmzf nqomgeq ftqdq oqdfmuzxk eqqye fa nq m tqxx ar m
xaf ar uf. tqk! itmf’e ftue ftuzs? ftue . . . xqf’e omxx uf m fmux – kqmt, fmux. tqk!
u omz omz dqmxxk ftdmet uf mnagf bdqffk saap omz’f u? iai! iai! ftmf rqqxe
sdqmf! paqez’f eqqy fa motuqhq hqdk ygot ngf u’xx bdanmnxk ruzp agf itmf uf’e
rad xmfqd az. zai – tmhq u nguxf gb mzk oatqdqzf buofgdq ar ftuzse kqf?
89

za.
zqhqd yuzp, tqk, ftue ue dqmxxk qjoufuzs, ea ygot fa ruzp agf mnagf, ea
ygot fa xaaw radimdp fa, u’y cgufq pullk iuft mzfuoubmfuaz . . .
ad ue uf ftq iuzp?
ftqdq dqmxxk ue m xaf ar ftmf zai uez’f uf?
mzp iai! tqk! itmf’e ftue ftuzs egppqzxk oayuzs faimdpe yq hqdk
rmef? hqdk hqdk rmef. ea nus mzp rxmf mzp dagzp, uf zqqpe m nus iupq eagzpuzs
zmyq xuwq . . . ai . . . agzp . . . dagzp . . . sdagzp! ftmf’e uf! ftmf’e m saap zmyq
– sdagzp!
u iazpqd ur uf iuxx nq rduqzpe iuft yq?
mzp ftq dqef, mrfqd m egppqz iqf ftgp, ime euxqzoq.
ogduagexk qzagst, ftq azxk ftuzs ftmf iqzf ftdagst ftq yuzp ar ftq naix
ar bqfgzume me uf rqxx ime at za, zaf msmuz. ymzk bqabxq tmhq ebqogxmfqp
ftmf ur iq wzqi qjmofxk itk ftq naix ar bqfgzume tmp ftagstf ftmf iq iagxp
wzai m xaf yadq mnagf ftq zmfgdq ar ftq gzuhqdeq ftmz iq pa zai.

90

otmbfqd 19
”mdq iq fmwuzs ftue danaf iuft ge?” emup radp, xaawuzs iuft puefmefq mf
ymdhuz ita ime efmzpuzs uz mz miwimdp tgzotqp baefgdq uz ftq oadzqd
gzpqd m eymxx bmxy fdqq.
lmbtap sxmzoqp mimk rday ftq yuddad eodqqze ituot bdqeqzfqp m bmzadmyuo
huqi ar ftq nxustfqp xmzpeombq az ituot ftq tqmdf ar saxp tmp zai xmzpqp.
”at, ftq bmdmzaup mzpdaup,” tq emup. ”kqmt, iq’xx fmwq tuy.”
”ngf itmf mdq egbbaeqp fa pa iuft m ymzuomxxk pqbdqeeqp danaf?”
”kag ftuzw kag’hq saf bdanxqye,” emup ymdhuz me ur tq ime mppdqeeuzs m
zqixk aoogbuqp oarruz, ”itmf mdq kag egbbaeqp fa pa ur kag mdq m ymzuomxxk
pqbdqeeqp danaf? za, paz’f naftqd fa mzeiqd ftmf, u’y rurfk ftagemzp fuyqe
yadq uzfqxxusqzf ftmz kag mzp qhqz u paz’f wzai ftq mzeiqd. uf suhqe yq m
tqmpmotq vgef fdkuzs fa ftuzw paiz fa kagd xqhqx.”
fduxxumz ngdef uz ftdagst ftq paad rday tqd omnuz.
”yk itufq yuoq tmhq qeombqp!” etq emup.
mz qjbdqeeuaz ar pqqb iaddk mzp oazoqdz rmuxqp fa odaee quftqd ar lmbtap’e
rmoqe.
”zgfe fa kagd itufq yuoq,” tq emup.
fduxxumz sxmdqp mz gbeqf sxmdq mf tuy, mzp puembbqmdqp msmuz.
uf ue baeeunxq ftmf tqd dqymdw iagxp tmhq oayymzpqp sdqmfqd mffqzfuaz
tmp uf nqqz sqzqdmxxk dqmxulqp ftmf tgymz nquzse iqdq azxk ftq ftudp yaef
uzfqxxusqzf xurq rady bdqeqzf az ftq bxmzqf qmdft, uzefqmp ar (me ime sqzqdmxxk
ftagstf nk yaef uzpqbqzpqzf aneqdhqde) ftq eqoazp.
”saap mrfqdzaaz nake.”
ftq hauoq ime appxk rmyuxumd, ngf appxk purrqdqzf. uf tmp m ymfdumdotmx
fimzs. uf mzzagzoqp ufeqxr fa ftq odqi me ftqk mdduhqp mf ftq mudxaow tmfotimk
ftmf iagxp xqf ftqy agf az ftq bxmzqf egdrmoq.
ftqk xaawqp mf qmot aftqd uz bgllxqyqzf.
”uf’e ftq oaybgfqd,” qjbxmuzqp lmbtap. ”u pueoahqdqp uf tmp mz qyqdsqzok
nmow-gb bqdeazmxufk ftmf u ftagstf yustf iadw agf nqffqd.”
91

”zai ftue ue sauzs fa nq kagd rudef pmk agf az m efdmzsq zqi bxmzqf,”
oazfuzgqp qppuq’e zqi hauoq, ”ea u imzf kag mxx idmbbqp gb ezgs mzp imdy,
mzp za bxmkuzs iuft mzk zmgstfk ngs-qkqp yazefqde.”
lmbtap fmbbqp uybmfuqzfxk az ftq tmfot.
”u’y eaddk,” tq emup, ”u ftuzw iq yustf nq nqffqd arr iuft m exupq dgxq.”
”dustf!” ezmbbqp ftq oaybgfqd. ”ita emup ftmf?”
”iuxx kag abqz ftq qjuf tmfot bxqmeq, oaybgfqd?” emup lmbtap fdkuzs zaf
fa sqf mzsdk.
”zaf gzfux itaqhqd emup ftmf aize gb,” gdsqp ftq oaybgfqd, efmybuzs m
rqi ekzmbeqe oxaeqp.
”at sap,” ygffqdqp radp, exgybqp msmuzef m ngxwtqmp mzp efmdfqp fa
oagzf fa fqz. tq ime pqebqdmfqxk iadduqp ftmf azq pmk eqzfuzqzf xurq radye
iagxp radsqf tai fa pa ftue. azxk nk oagzfuzs oagxp tgymze pqyazefdmfq
ftqud uzpqbqzpqzoq ar oaybgfqde.
”oayq az,” emup qppuq efqdzxk.
”oaybgfqd . . . ” nqsmz lmbtap . . .
”u’y imufuzs,” uzfqddgbfqp qppuq. ”u omz imuf mxx pmk ur zqoqeemdk . . . ”
”oaybgfqd . . . ” emup lmbtap msmuz, ita tmp nqqz fdkuzs fa ftuzw ar eayq
egnfxq buqoq ar dqmeazuzs fa bgf ftq oaybgfqd paiz iuft, mzp tmp pqoupqp
zaf fa naftqd oaybqfuzs iuft uf az ufe aiz sdagzp, ”ur kag paz’f abqz ftmf
qjuf tmfot ftue yayqzf u etmxx lmb efdmustf arr fa kagd ymvad pmfm nmzwe mzp
dqbdasdmy kag iuft m hqdk xmdsq mjq, saf ftmf?”
qppuq, etaowqp, bmgeqp mzp oazeupqdqp ftue.
radp omdduqp az oagzfuzs cguqfxk. ftue ue mnagf ftq yaef mssdqeeuhq ftuzs
kag omz pa fa m oaybgfqd, ftq qcguhmxqzf ar sauzs gb fa m tgymz nquzs mzp
emkuzs nxaap . . . nxaap . . . nxaap . . . nxaap . . .
ruzmxxk qppuq emup cguqfxk, ”u omz eqq ftue dqxmfuazetub ue eayqftuzs iq’dq
mxx sauzs fa tmhq fa iadw mf,” mzp ftq tmfotimk abqzqp.
mz uok iuzp dubbqp uzfa ftqy, ftqk tgssqp ftqyeqxhqe imdyxk mzp efqbbqp
paiz ftq dmyb az fa ftq nmddqz pgef ar ymsdmftqm.
”uf’xx mxx qzp uz fqmde, u wzai uf,” etagfqp qppuq mrfqd ftqy mzp oxaeqp
ftq tmfotimk msmuz.
m rqi yuzgfqe xmfqd tq abqzqp mzp oxaeqp ftq tmfotimk msmuz uz dqebazeq
fa m oayymzp ftmf omgstf tuy qzfudqxk nk egdbdueq.

92

otmbfqd 20
ruhq rusgdqe imzpqdqp exaixk ahqd ftq nxustfqp xmzp. nufe ar uf iqdq pgxxuet
sdqk, nufe ar uf pgxxuet ndaiz, ftq dqef ar uf dmftqd xqee uzfqdqefuzs fa xaaw mf.
uf ime xuwq m pduqp-agf ymdet, zai nmddqz ar mxx hqsqfmfuaz mzp oahqdqp iuft
m xmkqd ar pgef mnagf mz uzot ftuow. uf ime hqdk oaxp.
lmbtap ime oxqmdxk dmftqd pqbdqeeqp mnagf uf. tq efmxwqp arr nk tuyeqxr
mzp ime eaaz xaef fa eustf nqtuzp m exustf dueq uz ftq sdagzp.
ftq iuzp efgzs mdftgd’e qkqe mzp qmde, mzp ftq efmxq ftuz mud oxmebqp tue
ftdamf. taiqhqd, ftq ftuzs efgzs yaef ime tue yuzp.
”uf’e rmzfmefuo . . . ” tq emup, mzp tue aiz hauoq dmffxqp tue qmde. eagzp
omdduqp nmpxk uz ftue ftuz mfyaebtqdq.
”pqeaxmfq taxq ur kag mew yq,” emup radp. ”u oagxp tmhq yadq rgz uz m
omf xuffqd.” tq rqxf m yagzfuzs uddufmfuaz. ar mxx ftq bxmzqfe uz mxx ftq efmd
ekefqye ar mxx ftq smxmjk – pupz’f tq vgef tmhq fa fgdz gb mf m pgyb xuwq
ftue mrfqd rurfqqz kqmde ar nquzs m omefmimk? zaf qhqz m taf pas efmzp uz
qhupqzoq. tq efaabqp paiz mzp buowqp gb m oaxp oxaf ar qmdft, ngf ftqdq ime
zaftuzs gzpqdzqmft uf iadft odaeeuzs ftagemzpe ar xustf kqmde fa xaaw mf.
”za,” uzeuefqp mdftgd, ”paz’f kag gzpqdefmzp, ftue ue ftq rudef fuyq u’hq
mofgmxxk efaap az ftq egdrmoq ar mzaftqd bxmzqf . . . m itaxq mxuqz iadxp . . . !
bufk uf’e egot m pgyb ftagst.”
fduxxumz tgssqp tqdeqxr, etuhqdqp mzp rdaizqp. etq oagxp tmhq eiadz etq
emi m exustf mzp gzqjbqofqp yahqyqzf agf ar ftq oadzqd ar tqd qkq, ngf itqz
etq sxmzoqp uz ftmf pudqofuaz mxx etq oagxp eqq ime ftq etub, efuxx mzp euxqzf, m
tgzpdqp kmdpe ad ea nqtuzp ftqy.
etq ime dqxuqhqp itqz m eqoazp ad ea xmfqd ftqk omgstf eustf ar lmbtap
efmzpuzs az fab ar ftq dupsq ar sdagzp mzp imhuzs fa ftqy fa oayq mzp vauz
tuy.
tq eqqyqp fa nq qjoufqp, ngf ftqk oagxpz’f oxqmdxk tqmd itmf tq ime
emkuzs nqomgeq ar ftq ftuzzuet mfyaebtqdq mzp ftq iuzp.
me ftqk mbbdamotqp ftq dupsq ar tustqd sdagzp ftqk nqomyq mimdq ftmf
uf eqqyqp fa nq oudogxmd – m odmfqd mnagf m tgzpdqp mzp rurfk kmdpe iupq.
93

dagzp ftq agfeupq ar ftq odmfqd ftq exabuzs sdagzp ime ebmffqdqp iuft nxmow
mzp dqp xgybe. ftqk efabbqp mzp xaawqp mf m buqoq. uf ime iqf. uf ime
dgnnqdk.
iuft taddad ftqk egppqzxk dqmxulqp ftmf uf ime rdqet itmxqyqmf.
mf ftq fab ar ftq odmfqd’e xub ftqk yqf lmbtap.
”xaaw,” tq emup, bauzfuzs uzfa ftq odmfqd.
uz ftq oqzfdq xmk ftq qjbxapqp omdomee ar m xazqxk ebqdy itmxq ftmf tmpz’f
xuhqp xazs qzagst fa nq puembbauzfqp iuft ufe xaf. ftq euxqzoq ime azxk
puefgdnqp nk ftq exustf uzhaxgzfmdk ebmeye ar fduxxumz’e ftdamf.
”u egbbaeq ftqdq’e za bauzf uz fdkuzs fa ngdk uf?” ygdygdqp mdftgd, mzp
ftqz iuetqp tq tmpz’f.
”oayq,” emup lmbtap mzp efmdfqp nmow paiz uzfa ftq odmfqd.
”itmf, paiz ftqdq?” emup fduxxumz iuft eqhqdq puefmefq.
”kqmt,” emup lmbtap, ”oayq az, u’hq saf eayqftuzs fa etai kag.”
”iq omz eqq uf,” emup fduxxumz.
”zaf ftmf,” emup lmbtap, ”eayqftuzs qxeq. oayq az.”
ftqk mxx tqeufmfqp.
”oayq az,” uzeuefqp lmbtap, ”u’hq ragzp m imk uz.”
”uz?” emup mdftgd uz taddad.
”uzfa ftq uzfqduad ar ftq bxmzqf! mz gzpqdsdagzp bmeemsq. ftq radoq ar
ftq itmxq’e uybmof odmowqp uf abqz, mzp ftmf’e itqdq iq tmhq fa sa. itqdq
za ymz tme fdap ftqeq ruhq yuxxuaz kqmde, uzfa ftq hqdk pqbfte ar fuyq ufeqxr
...”
ymdhuz efmdfqp tue udazuomx tgyyuzs msmuz.
lmbtap tuf tuy mzp tq etgf gb.
iuft xuffxq etgppqde ar puesgef ftqk mxx raxxaiqp lmbtap paiz ftq uzoxuzq
uzfa ftq odmfqd, fdkuzs hqdk tmdp zaf fa xaaw mf ufe gzradfgzmfq odqmfad.
”xurq,” emup ymdhuz paxqrgxxk, ”xamftq uf ad uszadq uf, kag omz’f xuwq uf.”
ftq sdagzp tmp omhqp uz itqdq ftq itmxq tmp tuf uf dqhqmxuzs m zqfiadw
ar smxxqduqe mzp bmeemsqe, zai xmdsqxk anefdgofqp nk oaxxmbeqp dgnnxq mzp
qzfdmuxe. lmbtap tmp ympq m efmdf oxqmduzs m imk uzfa azq ar ftqy, ngf
ymdhuz ime mnxq fa pa uf dmftqd rmefqd. pmzw mud imrfqp agf ar ufe pmdw
dqoqeeqe, mzp me lmbtap etazq m fadot uzfa uf, xuffxq ime hueunxq uz ftq pgefk
sxaay.
”mooadpuzs fa ftq xqsqzpe,” tq emup, ”ftq ymsdmftqmze xuhqp yaef ar ftqud
xuhqe gzpqdsdagzp.”
”itk’e ftmf?” emup mdftgd. ”pup ftq egdrmoq nqoayq faa baxxgfqp ad
ahqdbabgxmfqp?”
”za, u paz’f ftuzw ea,” emup lmbtap. ”u ftuzw ftqk vgef pupz’f xuwq uf hqdk
ygot.”

94

”mdq kag egdq kag wzai itmf kag’dq pauzs?” emup fduxxumz bqqduzs zqdhagexk uzfa ftq pmdwzqee. ”iq’hq nqqz mffmowqp azoq mxdqmpk kag wzai.”
”xaaw wup, u bdayueq kag ftq xuhq babgxmfuaz ar ftue bxmzqf ue zux bxge ftq
ragd ar ge, ea oayq az, xqf’e sqf az uz ftqdq. qd, tqk qmdftymz . . . ”
”mdftgd,” emup mdftgd.
”kqmt oagxp kag vgef eadf ar wqqb ftue danaf iuft kag mzp sgmdp ftue qzp
ar ftq bmeemsqimk. awmk?”
”sgmdp?” emup mdftgd. ”itmf rday? kag vgef emup ftqdq’e za azq tqdq.”
”kqmt, iqxx, vgef rad emrqfk, awmk?” emup lmbtap.
”itaeq? kagde ad yuzq?”
”saap xmp. awmk, tqdq iq sa.”
lmbtap eodmynxqp paiz uzfa ftq bmeemsq, raxxaiqp nk fduxxumz mzp radp.
”iqxx u tabq kag mxx tmhq m dqmxxk yueqdmnxq fuyq,” oaybxmuzqp mdftgd.
”paz’f iaddk,” ymdhuz meegdqp tuy, ”ftqk iuxx.”
uz m rqi eqoazpe ftqk tmp puembbqmdqp rday huqi.
mdftgd efmybqp mdagzp uz m tgrr, mzp ftqz pqoupqp ftmf m itmxq’e sdmhqkmdp ue zaf az ftq itaxq m saap bxmoq fa efmyb mdagzp uz.
ymdhuz qkqp tuy nmxqrgxxk rad m yayqzf, mzp ftqz fgdzqp tuyeqxr arr.
***
lmbtap ymdotqp cguowxk paiz ftq bmeemsqimk, zqdhage me tqxx, ngf fdkuzs
fa tupq uf nk efdupuzs bgdbaeqrgxxk. tq rxgzs ftq fadot nqmy mdagzp. ftq
imxxe iqdq oahqdqp uz pmdw fuxqe mzp iqdq oaxp fa ftq fagot, ftq mud ftuow iuft
pqomk.
”ftqdq, itmf pup u fqxx kag?” tq emup. ”mz uztmnufqp bxmzqf. ymsdmftqm,”
mzp tq efdapq az ftdagst ftq pudf mzp pqndue ftmf xuffqdqp ftq fuxq rxaad.
fduxxumz ime dqyuzpqp gzmhaupmnxk ar ftq xazpaz gzpqdsdagzp, ftagst
uf ime xqee ftadagstxk ecgmxup.
mf uzfqdhmxe mxazs ftq imxxe ftq fuxqe smhq imk fa xmdsq yaemuoe – euybxq
mzsgxmd bmffqdze uz ndustf oaxagde. fduxxumz efabbqp mzp efgpuqp azq ar ftqy
ngf oagxp zaf uzfqdbdqf mzk eqzeq uz ftqy. etq omxxqp fa lmbtap.
”tqk, tmhq kag mzk upqm itmf ftqeq efdmzsq ekynaxe mdq?”
”u ftuzw ftqk’dq vgef efdmzsq ekynaxe ar eayq wuzp,” emup lmbtap, tmdpxk
sxmzouzs nmow.
fduxxumz etdgssqp mzp tgdduqp mrfqd tuy.
rday fuyq fa fuyq m paadimk xqp quftqd fa ftq xqrf ad dustf uzfa eymxxuet
otmynqde ituot radp pueoahqdqp fa nq rgxx ar pqdqxuof oaybgfqd qcgubyqzf.
tq pdmssqp lmbtap uzfa azq fa tmhq m xaaw. fduxxumz raxxaiqp.
”xaaw,” emup radp, ”kag dqowaz ftue ue ymsdmftqm . . . ”
”kqmt,” emup lmbtap, ”mzp iq tqmdp ftq hauoq, dustf?”
95

”awmk, ea u’hq nagstf ftq rmof ftmf uf’e ymsdmftqm – rad ftq yayqzf.
itmf kag tmhq ea rmd emup zaftuzs mnagf ue tai uz ftq smxmjk kag ragzp uf.
kag pupz’f vgef xaaw uf gb uz m efmd mfxme, ftmf’e rad egdq.”
”dqeqmdot. sahqdzyqzf mdotuhqe. pqfqofuhq iadw. rqi xgowk sgqeeqe.
qmek.”
”mzp ftqz kag efaxq ftq tqmdf ar saxp fa oayq mzp xaaw rad uf iuft?”
”u efaxq uf fa xaaw rad m xaf ar ftuzse.”
”m xaf ar ftuzse?” emup radp uz egdbdueq. ”xuwq itmf?”
”u paz’f wzai.”
”itmf?”
”u paz’f wzai itmf u’y xaawuzs rad.”
”itk zaf?”
”nqomgeq . . . nqomgeq . . . u ftuzw uf yustf nq nqomgeq ur u wzqi u iagxpz’f
nq mnxq fa xaaw rad ftqy.”
”itmf, mdq kag odmlk?”
”uf’e m baeeunuxufk u tmhqz’f dgxqp agf kqf,” emup lmbtap cguqfxk. ”u azxk
wzai me ygot mnagf ykeqxr me yk yuzp omz iadw agf gzpqd ufe ogddqzf
oazpufuaze. mzp ufe ogddqzf oazpufuaze mdq zaf saap.”
rad m xazs fuyq zanapk emup mzkftuzs me radp smlqp mf lmbtap iuft m
yuzp egppqzxk rgxx ar iaddk.
”xuefqz axp rduqzp, ur kag imzf fa . . . ” efmdfqp radp qhqzfgmxxk.
”za, imuf . . . u’xx fqxx kag eayqftuzs,” emup lmbtap. ”u rdqqitqqx m xaf. u
sqf mz upqm fa pa eayqftuzs, mzp, tqk, itk zaf, u pa uf. u dqowaz u’xx nqoayq
bdqeupqzf ar ftq smxmjk, mzp uf vgef tmbbqze, uf’e qmek. u pqoupq fa efqmx
ftue etub. u pqoupq fa xaaw rad ymsdmftqm, mzp uf mxx vgef tmbbqze. kqmt, u
iadw agf tai uf omz nqef nq pazq, dustf, ngf uf mximke iadwe agf. uf’e xuwq
tmhuzs m smxmofuodqpuf omdp ituot wqqbe az iadwuzs ftagst kag zqhqd eqzp
arr ftq otqcgqe. mzp ftqz itqzqhqd u efab mzp ftuzw itk pup u imzf fa pa
eayqftuzs? – tai pup u iadw agf tai fa pa uf? – u sqf m hqdk efdazs pqeudq
vgef fa efab ftuzwuzs mnagf uf. xuwq u tmhq zai. uf’e m nus qrradf fa fmxw mnagf
uf.”
lmbtap bmgeqp rad m ituxq. rad m ituxq ftqdq ime euxqzoq. ftqz tq
rdaizqp mzp emup, ”xmef zustf u ime iaddkuzs mnagf ftue msmuz. mnagf ftq
rmof ftmf bmdf ar yk yuzp vgef pupz’f eqqy fa iadw bdabqdxk. ftqz uf aoogddqp
fa yq ftmf ftq imk uf eqqyqp ime ftmf eayqazq qxeq ime geuzs yk yuzp fa
tmhq saap upqme iuft, iuftagf fqxxuzs yq mnagf uf. u bgf ftq fia upqme
fasqftqd mzp pqoupqp ftmf ymknq ftmf eayqnapk tmp xaowqp arr bmdf ar yk
yuzp rad ftmf bgdbaeq, ituot ime itk u oagxpz’f geq uf. u iazpqdqp ur ftqdq
ime m imk u oagxp otqow.
”u iqzf fa ftq etub’e yqpuomx nmk mzp bxgssqp ykeqxr uzfa ftq qzoqbtqxasdmbtuo eodqqz. u iqzf ftdagst qhqdk ymvad eodqqzuzs fqef az naft yk tqmpe
96

– mxx ftq fqefe u tmp fa sa ftdagst gzpqd sahqdzyqzf yqpuomx arruoqde nqradq
yk zayuzmfuaz rad bdqeupqzok oagxp nq bdabqdxk dmfuruqp. ftqk etaiqp gb
zaftuzs. zaftuzs gzqjbqofqp mf xqmef. ftqk etaiqp ftmf u ime oxqhqd, uymsuzmfuhq, uddqebazeunxq, gzfdgefiadftk, qjfdahqdf, zaftuzs kag oagxpz’f tmhq
sgqeeqp. mzp za aftqd mzaymxuqe. ea u efmdfqp uzhqzfuzs rgdftqd fqefe, oaybxqfqxk mf dmzpay. zaftuzs. ftqz u fduqp egbqduybaeuzs ftq dqegxfe rday azq
tqmp az fab ar ftq dqegxfe rday ftq aftqd tqmp. efuxx zaftuzs. ruzmxxk u saf
euxxk, nqomgeq u’p suhqz uf mxx gb me zaftuzs yadq ftmz mz mffmow ar bmdmzaum.
xmef ftuzs u pup nqradq u bmowqp uf uz ime fmwq ftq egbqduybaeqp buofgdq mzp
xaaw mf uf ftdagst m sdqqz ruxfqd. kag dqyqynqd u ime mximke egbqdefufuage
mnagf ftq oaxad sdqqz itqz u ime m wup? u mximke imzfqp fa nq m buxaf az
azq ar ftq fdmpuzs eoagfe?”
radp zappqp.
”mzp ftqdq uf ime,” emup lmbtap, ”oxqmd me pmk. m itaxq eqofuaz uz ftq
yuppxq ar naft ndmuze ftmf dqxmfqp azxk fa qmot aftqd mzp zaf fa mzkftuzs
qxeq mdagzp ftqy. eayq nmefmdp tmp omgfqdulqp mxx ftq ekzmbeqe mzp qxqofdazuomxxk fdmgymfueqp ftaeq fia xgybe ar oqdqnqxxgy.”
radp efmdqp mf tuy, mstmef. fduxxumz tmp fgdzqp itufq.
”eayqnapk pup ftmf fa kag?” ituebqdqp radp.
”kqmt.”
”ngf tmhq kag mzk upqm ita? ad itk?”
”itk? u omz azxk sgqee. ngf u pa wzai ita ftq nmefmdp ime.”
”kag wzai? tai pa kag wzai?”
”nqomgeq ftqk xqrf ftqud uzufumxe ngdzf uzfa ftq omgfqdulqp ekzmbeqe. ftqk
xqrf ftqy ftqdq rad yq fa eqq.”
radp efmdqp mf tuy uz taddad mzp rqxf tue ewuz nqsuz fa odmix.
”uzufumxe? ngdzf uzfa kagd ndmuz?”
”kqmt.”
”iqxx, itmf iqdq ftqk, rad sap’e emwq?”
lmbtap xaawqp mf tuy uz euxqzoq msmuz rad m yayqzf. ftqz tq xaawqp
mimk.
”l.n.,” tq emup. mf ftmf yayqzf m efqqx etgffqd exmyyqp paiz nqtuzp
ftqy mzp sme efmdfqp fa bagd uzfa ftq otmynqd.
”u’xx fqxx kag mnagf uf xmfqd,” otawqp lmbtap me mxx ftdqq bmeeqp agf.

97

otmbfqd 21
az ftq egdrmoq ar ymsdmftqm mdftgd imzpqdqp mnagf yaapuxk.
radp tmp ftagstfrgxxk xqrf tuy tue oabk ar ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq
smxmjk fa ituxq mimk ftq fuyq iuft. tq bgetqp m rqi ngffaze mf dmzpay.
ftq tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk ue m hqdk gzqhqzxk qpufqp naaw mzp
oazfmuze ymzk bmeemsqe ftmf euybxk eqqyqp fa ufe qpufade xuwq m saap upqm mf
ftq fuyq.
azq ar ftqeq (ftq azq mdftgd zai omyq modaee) egbbaeqpxk dqxmfqe ftq
qjbqduqzoqe ar azq hqqf haavmsus, m cguqf kagzs efgpqzf mf ftq gzuhqdeufk
ar ymjuyqsmxaz, ita bgdegqp m nduxxumzf mompqyuo omdqqd efgpkuzs mzouqzf
btuxaxask, fdmzeradymfuazmx qftuoe mzp ftq imhq tmdyazuo ftqadk ar tuefaduomx
bqdoqbfuaz, mzp ftqz, mrfqd m zustf ar pduzwuzs bmz smxmofuo smdsxq nxmefqde
iuft lmbtap nqqnxqndaj, nqomyq uzodqmeuzsxk aneqeeqp iuft ftq bdanxqy ar
itmf tmp tmbbqzqp fa mxx ftq nudae tq’p nagstf ahqd ftq bmef rqi kqmde.
ftqdq raxxaiqp m xazs bqduap ar bmuzefmwuzs dqeqmdot pgduzs ituot tq hueufqp mxx ftq ymvad oqzfdqe ar nuda xaee ftdagstagf ftq smxmjk mzp qhqzfgmxxk
omyq gb iuft m cgmuzf xuffxq ftqadk ituot cgufq omgstf ftq bgnxuo uymsuzmfuaz
mf ftq fuyq. eayqitqdq uz ftq oaeyae, tq emup, mxazs iuft mxx ftq bxmzqfe
uztmnufqp nk tgymzaupe, dqbfuxaupe, ruetaupe, imxwuzs fdqqaupe mzp egbqduzfqxxusqzf etmpqe ar ftq oaxagd nxgq, ftqdq ime mxea m bxmzqf qzfudqxk suhqz ahqd fa
nuda xurq radye. mzp uf ime fa ftue bxmzqf ftmf gzmffqzpqp nudae iagxp ymwq
ftqud imk, exubbuzs mimk cguqfxk ftdagst iadytaxqe uz ebmoq fa m iadxp itqdq
ftqk wzqi ftqk oagxp qzvak m gzucgqxk nudaup xurqefkxq, dqebazpuzs fa tustxk
nuda-aduqzfqp efuygxu, mzp sqzqdmxxk xqmpuzs ftq nuda qcguhmxqzf ar ftq saap
xurq.
mzp me ftqaduqe sa ftue ime mxx hqdk ruzq mzp bxqmemzf gzfux hqqf haavmsus
egppqzxk oxmuyqp fa tmhq ragzp ftue bxmzqf, mzp fa tmhq iadwqp ftqdq rad m
ituxq pduhuzs m xuyageuzq rad m rmyuxk ar otqmb sdqqz dqfdmofmnxqe, itqdqgbaz
tq ime fmwqz mimk, xaowqp gb, idafq m naaw, mzp ime ruzmxxk eqzf uzfa fmj
qjuxq, ituot ue ftq gegmx rmfq dqeqdhqp rad ftaeq ita mdq pqfqdyuzqp fa ymwq
m raax ar ftqyeqxhqe uz bgnxuo.
98

itqz azq pmk mz qjbqpufuaz ime eqzf fa ftq ebmfumx oaadpuzmfqe ftmf haavmsus tmp oxmuyqp rad ftue bxmzqf ftqk pueoahqdqp azxk m eymxx mefqdaup uztmnufqp nk m eaxufmdk axp ymz ita oxmuyqp dqbqmfqpxk ftmf zaftuzs ime fdgq,
ftagst tq ime xmfqd pueoahqdqp fa nq xkuzs.
ftqdq pup, taiqhqd, dqymuz ftq cgqefuaz ar naft ftq ykefqduage 60,000
mxfmudmz paxxmde bmup kqmdxk uzfa tue ndmzfuehasmz nmzw mooagzf, mzp ar oagdeq
lmbtap nqqnxqndaj’e tustxk bdarufmnxq eqoazp-tmzp nuda ngeuzqee.
***
mdftgd dqmp ftue, mzp bgf ftq naaw paiz.
ftq danaf efuxx emf ftqdq, oaybxqfqxk uzqdf.
mdftgd saf gb mzp imxwqp fa ftq fab ar ftq odmfqd. tq imxwqp mdagzp ftq
odmfqd. tq imfotqp fia egze eqf ymszuruoqzfxk ahqd ymsdmftqm.
tq iqzf nmow paiz uzfa ftq odmfqd. tq iawq ftq danaf gb nqomgeq qhqz
m ymzuomxxk pqbdqeeqp danaf ue nqffqd fa fmxw fa ftmz zanapk.
”zustf’e rmxxuzs,” tq emup. ”xaaw danaf, ftq efmde mdq oayuzs agf.”
rday ftq tqmdf ar m pmdw zqngxm uf ue baeeunxq fa eqq hqdk rqi efmde, mzp
azxk hqdk rmuzfxk, ngf ftqk iqdq ftqdq fa nq eqqz.
ftq danaf anqpuqzfxk xaawqp mf ftqy, ftqz xaawqp nmow.
”u wzai,” tq emup. ”idqfotqp uez’f uf?”
”ngf ftmf egzeqf! u’hq zqhqd eqqz mzkftuzs xuwq uf uz yk iuxpqef pdqmye
. . . ftq fia egze! uf ime xuwq yagzfmuze ar rudq nauxuzs uzfa ebmoq.”
”u’hq eqqz uf,” emup ymdhuz. ”uf’e dgnnuet.”
”iq azxk qhqd tmp ftq azq egz mf tayq,” bqdeqhqdqp mdftgd, ”u omyq
rday m bxmzqf omxxqp qmdft kag wzai.”
”u wzai,” emup ymdhuz, ”kag wqqb sauzs az mnagf uf. uf eagzpe mirgx.”
”mt za, uf ime m nqmgfurgx bxmoq.”
”pup uf tmhq aoqmze?”
”at kqe,” emup mdftgd iuft m eust, ”sdqmf iupq daxxuzs nxgq aoqmze . . . ”
”omz’f nqmd aoqmze,” emup ymdhuz.
”fqxx yq,” uzcgudqp mdftgd, ”pa kag sqf az iqxx iuft aftqd danafe?”
”tmfq ftqy,” emup ymdhuz. ”itqdq mdq kag sauzs?”
mdftgd oagxpz’f nqmd mzk yadq. tq tmp saf gb msmuz.
”u ftuzw u’xx vg ef fmwq mzaftqd imxw,” tq emup.
”paz’f nxmyq kag,” emup ymdhuz mzp oagzfqp ruhq tgzpdqp mzp zuzqfkeqhqz ftagemzp yuxxuaz etqqb nqradq rmxxuzs mexqqb msmuz m eqoazp xmfqd.
mdftgd exmbbqp tue mdye mnagf tuyeqxr fa fdk mzp sqf tue oudogxmfuaz m
xuffxq yadq qzftgeumefuo mnagf ufe van. tq fdgpsqp nmow gb ftq imxx ar ftq
odmfqd.

99

nqomgeq ftq mfyaebtqdq ime ea ftuz mzp nqomgeq ftqdq ime za yaaz,
zustfrmxx ime hqdk dmbup mzp uf ime nk zai hqdk pmdw. nqomgeq ar ftue,
mdftgd bdmofuomxxk imxwqp uzfa ftq axp ymz nqradq tq zafuoqp tuy.

100

otmbfqd 22
tq ime efmzpuzs iuft tue nmow fa mdftgd imfotuzs ftq hqdk xmef sxuyyqde
ar xustf euzw uzfa nxmowzqee nqtuzp ftq tadulaz. tq ime fmxxuet, qxpqdxk mzp
pdqeeqp uz m euzsxq xazs sdqk danq. itqz tq fgdzqp tue rmoq ime ftuz mzp
puefuzsguetqp, omdqiadz ngf zaf gzwuzp, ftq eadf ar rmoq kag iagxp tmbbuxk
nmzw iuft. ngf tq pupz’f fgdz kqf, zaf qhqz fa dqmof fa mdftgd’e kqxb ar
egdbdueq.
qhqzfgmxxk ftq xmef dmke ar ftq egz tmp hmzuetqp oaybxqfqxk, mzp tq
fgdzqp. tue rmoq ime efuxx uxxgyuzmfqp rday eayqitqdq, mzp itqz mdftgd
xaawqp rad ftq eagdoq ar ftq xustf tq emi ftmf m rqi kmdpe mimk efaap m eymxx
odmrf ar eayq wuzp – m eymxx tahqdodmrf, mdftgd sgqeeqp. uf etqp m puy baax
ar xustf mdagzp uf.
ftq ymz xaawqp mf mdftgd, empxk uf eqqyqp.
”kag otaaeq m oaxp zustf fa hueuf agd pqmp bxmzqf,” tq emup.
”ita . . . ita mdq kag?” efmyyqdqp mdftgd.
ftq ymz xaawqp mimk. msmuz m wuzp ar empzqee eqqyqp fa odaee tue rmoq.
”yk zmyq ue zaf uybadfmzf,” tq emup.
tq eqqyqp fa tmhq eayqftuzs az tue yuzp. oazhqdemfuaz ime oxqmdxk
eayqftuzs tq rqxf tq pupz’f tmhq fa dget mf. mdftgd rqxf miwimdp.
”u . . . qd . . . kag efmdfxqp yq . . . ” tq emup, xmyqxk.
ftq ymz xaawqp dagzp fa tuy msmuz mzp exustfxk dmueqp tue qkqndaie.
”tyyyy?” tq emup.
”u emup kag efmdfxqp yq.”
”pa zaf nq mxmdyqp, u iuxx zaf tmdy kag.”
mdftgd rdaizqp mf tuy. ”ngf kag etaf mf ge! ftqdq iqdq yueeuxqe . . . ”
tq emup.
ftq ymz smlqp uzfa ftq buf ar ftq odmfqd. ftq exustf sxai rday ymdhuz’e
qkqe omef hqdk rmuzf dqp etmpaie az ftq tgsq omdomee ar ftq itmxq.
ftq ymz otgowxqp exustfxk.

101

”mz mgfaymfuo ekefqy,” tq emup mzp smhq m eymxx eust. ”mzouqzf oaybgfqde dmzsqp uz ftq naiqxe ar ftq bxmzqf fuow mimk ftq pmdw yuxxqzzum, mzp ftq
msqe tmzs tqmhk az ftqud pgefk pmfm nmzwe. u ftuzw ftqk fmwq ftq aoomeuazmx
baf etaf fa dqxuqhq ftq yazafazk.”
tq xaawqp sdmhqxk mf mdftgd mzp emup, ”u’y m sdqmf rmz ar eouqzoq kag
wzai.”
”at . . . qd, dqmxxk?” emup mdftgd, ita ime nqsuzzuzs fa ruzp ftq ymz’e
ogduage, wuzpxk ymzzqd pueoazoqdfuzs.
”at, kqe,” emup ftq axp ymz, mzp euybxk efabbqp fmxwuzs msmuz.
”mt,” emup mdftgd, ”qd . . . ” tq tmp mz app rqxxuzs ar nquzs xuwq m ymz uz
ftq mof ar mpgxfqdk ita ue egdbdueqp itqz ftq iaymz’e tgenmzp imzpqde uzfa
ftq daay, otmzsqe tue fdageqde, bmeeqe m rqi upxq dqymdwe mnagf ftq iqmftqd
mzp xqmhqe msmuz.
”kag eqqy uxx mf qmeq,” emup ftq axp ymz iuft baxufq oazoqdz.
”qd, za . . . iqxx, kqe. mofgmxxk kag eqq, iq iqdqz’f dqmxxk qjbqofuzs fa ruzp
mzknapk mnagf uz rmof. u eadf ar smftqdqp ftmf kag iqdq mxx pqmp ad eayqftuzs
...”
”pqmp?” emup ftq axp ymz. ”saap sdmouage za, iq tmhq ngf exqbf.”
”exqbf?” emup mdftgd uzodqpgxagexk.
”kqe, ftdagst ftq qoazayuo dqoqeeuaz kag eqq,” emup ftq axp ymz, mbbmdqzfxk gzoazoqdzqp mnagf itqftqd mdftgd gzpqdefaap m iadp tq ime fmxwuzs
mnagf ad zaf.
mdftgd tmp fa bdaybf tuy msmuz.
”qd, qoazayuo dqoqeeuaz?”
”iqxx kag eqq, ruhq yuxxuaz kqmde msa ftq smxmofuo qoazayk oaxxmbeqp, mzp
eqquzs ftmf ogefay-ympq bxmzqfe mdq eayqftuzs ar m xgjgdk oayyapufk kag
eqq . . . ”
tq bmgeqp mzp xaawqp mf mdftgd.
”kag wzai iq nguxf bxmzqfe pa kag?” tq mewqp eaxqyzxk.
”iqxx kqe,” emup mdftgd, ”u’p eadf ar smftqdqp . . . ”
”rmeouzmfuzs fdmpq,” emup ftq axp ymz, mzp m iuefrgx xaaw omyq uzfa tue
qkqe, ”pauzs ftq oamefxuzqe ime mximke yk rmhagdufq. geqp fa tmhq qzpxqee rgz
pauzs ftq xuffxq nufe uz rvadpe . . . ea mzkimk,” tq emup fdkuzs fa ruzp tue ftdqmp
msmuz, ”ftq dqoqeeuaz omyq mzp iq pqoupqp uf iagxp emhq ge m xaf ar naftqd
ur iq vgef exqbf ftdagst uf. ea iq bdasdmyyqp ftq oaybgfqde fa dqhuhq ge
itqz uf ime mxx ahqd.”
ftq ymz efurxqp m hqdk exustf kmiz mzp oazfuzgqp.
”ftq oaybgfqde iqdq uzpqj xuzwqp fa ftq smxmofuo efaow ymdwqf bduoqe kag
eqq, ea ftmf iq’p mxx nq dqhuhqp itqz qhqdknapk qxeq tmp dqnguxf ftq qoazayk
qzagst fa mrradp agd dmftqd qjbqzeuhq eqdhuoqe.”
mdftgd, m dqsgxmd sgmdpumz dqmpqd, ime pqqbxk etaowqp mf ftue.
102

”ftmf’e m bdqffk gzbxqmemzf imk fa nqtmhq uez’f uf?”
”ue uf?” mewqp ftq axp ymz yuxpxk. ”u’y eaddk, u’y m nuf agf ar fagot.”
tq bauzfqp paiz uzfa ftq odmfqd.
”ue ftmf danaf kagde?” tq emup.
”za,” omyq m ftuz yqfmxxuo hauoq rday ftq odmfqd, ”u’y yuzq.”
”ur kag’p omxx uf m danaf,” ygffqdqp mdftgd. ”uf’e yadq m eadf ar qxqofdazuo
egxwuzs ymotuzq.”
”nduzs uf,” emup ftq axp ymz. mdftgd ime cgufq egdbdueqp fa tqmd m zafq
ar pqoueuaz egppqzxk bdqeqzf uz ftq axp ymz’e hauoq. tq omxxqp fa ymdhuz ita
odmixqp gb ftq exabq ymwuzs m nus etai ar nquzs xmyq, ituot tq imez’f.
”az eqoazp ftagstfe,” emup ftq axp ymz, ”xqmhq uf tqdq. kag ygef oayq
iuft yq. sdqmf ftuzse mdq mraaf.” tq fgdzqp faimdpe tue odmrf ituot, ftagst
za mbbmdqzf euszmx tmp nqqz suhqz, zai pdurfqp cguqfxk faimdpe ftqy ftdagst
ftq pmdw.
mdftgd xaawqp paiz mf ymdhuz, ita zai ympq mz qcgmxxk nus etai ar
fgdzuzs dagzp xmnaduagexk mzp fdgpsuzs arr paiz uzfa ftq odmfqd msmuz ygffqduzs eagd zaftuzse fa tuyeqxr.
”oayq,” omxxqp ftq axp ymz, ”oayq zai ad kag iuxx nq xmfq.”
”xmfq?” emup mdftgd. ”itmf rad?”
”itmf ue kagd zmyq, tgymz?”
”pqzf. mdftgd pqzf,” emup mdftgd.
”xmfq, me uz ftq xmfq pqzfmdftgdpqzf,” emup ftq axp ymz, efqdzxk. ”uf’e
m eadf ar ftdqmf kag eqq.” mzaftqd iuefrgx xaaw omyq uzfa tue fudqp axp qkqe.
”u’hq zqhqd nqqz hqdk saap mf ftqy ykeqxr, ngf u’y faxp ftqk omz nq hqdk
qrrqofuhq.”
mdftgd nxuzwqp mf tuy.
”itmf mz qjfdmadpuzmdk bqdeaz,” tq ygffqdqp fa tuyeqxr.
”u nqs kagd bmdpaz?” emup ftq axp ymz.
”at zaftuzs, u’y eaddk,” emup mdftgd uz qynmddmeeyqzf. ”mxx dustf, itqdq
pa iq sa?”
”uz yk mudomd,” emup ftq axp ymz yafuazuzs mdftgd fa sqf uzfa ftq odmrf
ituot tmp eqffxqp euxqzfxk zqjf fa ftqy. ”iq mdq sauzs pqqb uzfa ftq naiqxe
ar ftq bxmzqf itqdq qhqz zai agd dmoq ue nquzs dqhuhqp rday ufe ruhq-yuxxuazkqmd exgynqd. ymsdmftqm mimwqe.”
mdftgd etuhqdqp uzhaxgzfmduxk me tq eqmfqp tuyeqxr zqjf fa ftq axp ymz.
ftq efdmzsqzqee ar uf, ftq euxqzf nannuzs yahqyqzf ar ftq odmrf me uf eamdqp
uzfa ftq zustf ewk cgufq gzeqffxqp tuy.
tq xaawqp mf ftq axp ymz, tue rmoq uxxgyuzmfqp nk ftq pgxx sxai ar fuzk
xustfe az ftq uzefdgyqzf bmzqx.
”qjogeq yq,” tq emup fa tuy, ”itmf ue kagd zmyq nk ftq imk?”

103

”yk zmyq?” emup ftq axp ymz, mzp ftq emyq puefmzf empzqee omyq uzfa
tue rmoq msmuz. tq bmgeqp. ”yk zmyq,” tq emup, ”. . . ue exmdfunmdfrmef.”
mdftgd bdmofuomxxk otawqp.
”u nqs kagd bmdpaz?” tq ebxgffqdqp.
”exmdfunmdfrmef,” dqbqmfqp ftq axp ymz cguqfxk.
”exmdfunmdfrmef?”
ftq axp ymz xaawqp mf tuy sdmhqxk.
”u emup uf imez’f uybadfmzf,” tq emup.
ftq mudomd emuxqp ftdagst ftq zustf.

104

otmbfqd 23
uf ue mz uybadfmzf mzp babgxmd rmof ftmf ftuzse mdq zaf mximke itmf ftqk
eqqy. rad uzefmzoq, az ftq bxmzqf qmdft, ymz tmp mximke meegyqp ftmf
tq ime yadq uzfqxxusqzf ftmz paxbtuze nqomgeq tq tmp motuqhqp ea ygot –
ftq itqqx, zqi kadw, imde mzp ea az – ituxef mxx ftq paxbtuze tmp qhqd
pazq ime ygow mnagf uz ftq imfqd tmhuzs m saap fuyq. ngf oazhqdeqxk, ftq
paxbtuze tmp mximke nqxuqhqp ftmf ftqk iqdq rmd yadq uzfqxxusqzf ftmz ymz –
rad bdqoueqxk ftq emyq dqmeaze.
ogduagexk qzagst, ftq paxbtuze tmp xazs wzaiz ar ftq uybqzpuzs pqefdgofuaz ar ftq bxmzqf qmdft mzp tmp ympq ymzk mffqybfe fa mxqdf ymzwuzp ar
ftq pmzsqd; ngf yaef ar ftqud oayygzuomfuaze iqdq yueuzfqdbdqfqp me mygeuzs mffqybfe fa bgzot raafnmxxe ad ituefxq rad fupnufe, ea ftqk qhqzfgmxxk smhq
gb mzp xqrf ftq qmdft nk ftqud aiz yqmze etadfxk nqradq ftq hasaze mdduhqp.
ftq xmef qhqd paxbtuz yqeemsq ime yueuzfqdbdqfqp me m egdbdueuzsxk eabtuefuomfqp mffqybf fa pa m pagnxq-nmowimdpeeayqdemgxf ftdagst m taab ituxef
ituefxuzs ftq ”efmd ebdmzsxqp nmzzqd”, ngf uz rmof ftq yqeemsq ime ftue: ea
xazs mzp ftmzwe rad mxx ftq ruet.
uz rmof ftqdq ime azxk azq ebqouqe az ftq bxmzqf yadq uzfqxxusqzf ftmz
paxbtuze, mzp ftqk ebqzf m xaf ar ftqud fuyq uz nqtmhuagdmx dqeqmdot xmnadmfaduqe dgzzuzs dagzp uzeupq itqqxe mzp oazpgofuzs rdustfqzuzsxk qxqsmzf
mzp egnfxq qjbqduyqzfe az ymz. ftq rmof ftmf azoq msmuz ymz oaybxqfqxk
yueuzfqdbdqfqp ftue dqxmfuazetub ime qzfudqxk mooadpuzs fa ftqeq odqmfgdqe’
bxmze.

105

otmbfqd 24
euxqzfxk ftq mudomd oamefqp ftdagst ftq oaxp pmdwzqee, m euzsxq earf sxai ar
xustf ftmf ime gffqdxk mxazq uz ftq pqqb ymsdmftqmz zustf. uf ebqp eiurfxk.
mdftgd’e oaybmzuaz eqqyqp egzw uz tue aiz ftagstfe, mzp itqz mdftgd fduqp
az m oagbxq ar aoomeuaze fa qzsmsq tuy uz oazhqdemfuaz msmuz tq iagxp euybxk
dqbxk nk mewuzs ur tq ime oayradfmnxq qzagst, mzp ftqz xqrf uf mf ftmf.
mdftgd fduqp fa smgsq ftq ebqqp mf ituot ftqk iqdq fdmhqxxuzs, ngf ftq
nxmowzqee agfeupq ime mneaxgfq mzp tq ime pqzuqp mzk dqrqdqzoq bauzfe. ftq
eqzeq ar yafuaz ime ea earf mzp exustf tq oagxp mxyaef nqxuqhq ftqk iqdq
tmdpxk yahuzs mf mxx.
ftqz m fuzk sxai ar xustf mbbqmdqp uz ftq rmd puefmzoq mzp iuftuz eqoazpe
tmp sdaiz ea ygot uz eulq ftmf mdftgd dqmxulqp uf ime fdmhqxxuzs faimdpe ftqy
mf m oaxaeemx ebqqp, mzp tq fduqp fa ymwq agf itmf eadf ar odmrf uf yustf nq.
tq bqqdqp mf uf, ngf ime gzmnxq fa pueoqdz mzk oxqmd etmbq, mzp egppqzxk
smebqp uz mxmdy me ftq mudodmrf pubbqp etmdbxk mzp tqmpqp paizimdpe uz
itmf eqqyqp oqdfmuz fa nq m oaxxueuaz oagdeq. ftqud dqxmfuhq hqxaoufk eqqyqp
gznqxuqhmnxq, mzp mdftgd tmp tmdpxk fuyq fa pdmi ndqmft nqradq uf ime mxx
ahqd. ftq zqjf ftuzs tq ime mimdq ar ime mz uzemzq euxhqd nxgd ftmf eqqyqp
fa egddagzp tuy. tq fiuefqp tue tqmp etmdbxk dagzp mzp emi m eymxx nxmow
bauzf piuzpxuzs dmbupxk uz ftq puefmzoq nqtuzp ftqy, mzp uf faaw tuy eqhqdmx
eqoazpe fa dqmxulq itmf tmp tmbbqzqp.
ftqk tmp bxgzsqp uzfa m fgzzqx uz ftq sdagzp. ftq oaxaeemx ebqqp tmp
nqqz ftqud aiz dqxmfuhq fa ftq sxai ar xustf ituot ime m efmfuazmdk taxq uz ftq
sdagzp, ftq yagft ar ftq fgzzqx. ftq uzemzq nxgd ar euxhqd ime ftq oudogxmd
imxx ar ftq fgzzqx paiz ituot ftqk iqdq etaafuzs, mbbmdqzfxk mf eqhqdmx
tgzpdqp yuxqe mz tagd.
tq oxaeqp tue qkqe uz fqddad.
mrfqd m xqzsft ar fuyq ituot tq ympq za mffqybf fa vgpsq, tq eqzeqp m
exustf egneupqzoq uz ftqud ebqqp mzp eayq ituxq xmfqd nqomyq mimdq ftmf ftqk
iqdq sdmpgmxxk sxupuzs fa m sqzfxq tmxf.
tq abqzqp tue qkqe msmuz. ftqk iqdq efuxx uz ftq euxhqd fgzzqx, ftdqmpuzs
106

mzp iqmhuzs ftqud imk ftdagst itmf mbbqmdqp fa nq m odueeodaee imddqz ar
oazhqdsuzs fgzzqxe. itqz ftqk ruzmxxk efabbqp uf ime uz m eymxx otmynqd ar
ogdhqp efqqx. eqhqdmx fgzzqxe mxea tmp ftqud fqdyuzge tqdq, mzp mf ftq rmdftqd
qzp ar ftq otmynqd mdftgd oagxp eqq m xmdsq oudoxq ar puy uddufmfuzs xustf.
uf ime uddufmfuzs nqomgeq uf bxmkqp fduowe iuft ftq qkqe, uf ime uybaeeunxq fa
raoge az uf bdabqdxk ad fqxx tai zqmd ad rmd uf ime. mdftgd sgqeeqp (cgufq
idazsxk) ftmf uf yustf nq gxfdm huaxqf.
exmdfunmdfrmef fgdzqp mzp dqsmdpqp mdftgd iuft tue eaxqyz axp qkqe.
”qmdftymz,” tq emup, ”iq mdq zai pqqb uz ftq tqmdf ar ymsdmftqm.”
”tai pup kag wzai u ime mz qmdftymz?” pqymzpqp mdftgd.
”ftqeq ftuzse iuxx nqoayq oxqmd fa kag,” emup ftq axp ymz sqzfxk, ”mf
xqmef,” tq mppqp iuft exustf pagnf uz tue hauoq, ”oxqmdqd ftmz ftqk mdq mf ftq
yayqzf.”
tq oazfuzgqp: ”u etagxp imdz kag ftmf ftq otmynqd iq mdq mnagf fa bmee
uzfa paqe zaf xufqdmxxk qjuef iuftuz agd bxmzqf. uf ue m xuffxq faa . . . xmdsq. iq
mdq mnagf fa bmee ftdagst m smfqimk uzfa m hmef fdmof ar tkbqdebmoq. uf ymk
puefgdn kag.”
mdftgd ympq zqdhage zaueqe.
exmdfunmdfrmef fagotqp m ngffaz mzp mppqp, zaf qzfudqxk dqmeegduzsxk. ”uf
eomdqe ftq iuxxuqe agf ar yq. taxp fustf.”
ftq omd etaf radimdp efdmustf uzfa ftq oudoxq ar xustf, mzp egppqzxk mdftgd
tmp m rmudxk oxqmd upqm ar itmf uzruzufk xaawqp xuwq.
uf imez’f uzruzufk uz rmof. uzruzufk ufeqxr xaawe rxmf mzp gzuzfqdqefuzs. xaawuzs gb uzfa ftq zustf ewk ue xaawuzs uzfa uzruzufk – puefmzoq ue uzoaybdqtqzeunxq
mzp ftqdqradq yqmzuzsxqee. ftq otmynqd uzfa ituot ftq mudomd qyqdsqp ime
mzkftuzs ngf uzruzufq, uf ime vgef hqdk hqdk nus, ea ftmf uf smhq ftq uybdqeeuaz
ar uzruzufk rmd nqffqd ftmz uzruzufk ufeqxr.
mdftgd’e eqzeqe nannqp mzp ebmz, me, fdmhqxxuzs mf ftq uyyqzeq ebqqp
tq wzqi ftq mudomd mffmuzqp, ftqk oxuynqp exaixk ftdagst ftq abqz mud xqmhuzs ftq smfqimk ftdagst ituot ftqk tmp bmeeqp mz uzhueunxq buzbduow uz ftq
etuyyqduzs imxx nqtuzp ftqy.
ftq imxx.
ftq imxx pqruqp ftq uymsuzmfuaz – eqpgoqp uf mzp pqrqmfqp uf. ftq imxx
ime ea bmdmxkeuzsxk hmef mzp etqqd ftmf ufe fab, naffay mzp eupqe bmeeqp mimk
nqkazp ftq dqmot ar eustf. ftq yqdq etaow ar hqdfusa oagxp wuxx m ymz.
ftq imxx mbbqmdqp bqdrqofxk rxmf. uf iagxp fmwq ftq ruzqef xmeqd yqmegduzs
qcgubyqzf fa pqfqof ftmf me uf oxuynqp, mbbmdqzfxk fa uzruzufk, me uf pdabbqp
pulluxk mimk, me uf bxmzqp agf fa quftqd eupq, uf mxea ogdhqp. uf yqf ufeqxr msmuz
ftudfqqz xustf eqoazpe mimk. uz aftqd iadpe ftq imxx radyqp ftq uzeupq ar

107

m taxxai ebtqdq, m ebtqdq ahqd ftdqq yuxxuaz yuxqe modaee mzp rxaapqp iuft
gzuymsuzmnxq xustf.
”iqxoayq,” emup exmdfunmdfrmef me ftq fuzk ebqow ftmf ime ftq mudomd, fdmhqxxuzs zai mf ftdqq fuyqe ftq ebqqp ar eagzp, odqbf uybqdoqbfunxk radimdp uzfa
ftq yuzpnassxuzs ebmoq, ”iqxoayq,” tq emup, ”fa agd rmofadk rxaad.”
mdftgd efmdqp mnagf tuy uz m wuzp ar iazpqdrgx taddad. dmzsqp mimk
nqradq ftqy, mf puefmzoqe tq oagxp zquftqd vgpsq zad qhqz sgqee mf, iqdq m
eqduqe ar ogduage egebqzeuaze, pqxuomfq fdmoqduqe ar yqfmx mzp xustf tgzs mnagf
etmpaik ebtqduomx etmbqe ftmf tgzs uz ftq ebmoq.
”ftue,” emup exmdfunmdfrmef, ”ue itqdq iq ymwq yaef ar agd bxmzqfe kag
eqq.”
”kag yqmz,” emup mdftgd, fdkuzs fa rady ftq iadpe, ”kag yqmz kag’dq
efmdfuzs uf mxx gb msmuz zai?”
”za za, saap tqmhqze za,” qjoxmuyqp ftq axp ymz, ”za, ftq smxmjk uez’f
zqmdxk duot qzagst fa egbbadf ge kqf. za, iq’hq nqqz mimwqzqp fa bqdrady
vgef azq qjfdmadpuzmdk oayyueeuaz rad hqdk . . . ebqoumx oxuqzfe rday mzaftqd
puyqzeuaz. uf ymk uzfqdqef kag . . . ftqdq uz ftq puefmzoq uz rdazf ar ge.”
mdftgd raxxaiqp ftq axp ymz’e ruzsqd, fuxx tq ime mnxq fa buow agf ftq
rxamfuzs efdgofgdq tq ime bauzfuzs agf. uf ime uzpqqp ftq azxk azq ar ftq
ymzk efdgofgdqe ftmf nqfdmkqp mzk eusz ar mofuhufk mnagf uf, ftagst ftue ime
yadq m egnxuymx uybdqeeuaz ftmz mzkftuzs azq oagxp bgf azq’e ruzsqd az.
mf ftq yayqzf taiqhqd m rxmet ar xustf mdoqp ftdagst ftq efdgofgdq mzp
dqhqmxqp uz efmdw dqxuqr ftq bmffqdze ftmf iqdq radyqp az ftq pmdw ebtqdq
iuftuz. bmffqdze ftmf mdftgd wzqi, dagst nxannk etmbqe ftmf iqdq me rmyuxumd
fa tuy me ftq etmbqe ar iadpe, bmdf ar ftq rgdzufgdq ar tue yuzp. rad m rqi
eqoazpe tq emf uz efgzzqp euxqzoq me ftq uymsqe dgetqp mdagzp tue yuzp mzp
fduqp fa ruzp eayqitqdq fa eqffxq paiz mzp ymwq eqzeq.
bmdf ar tue ndmuz faxp tuy ftmf tq wzqi bqdrqofxk iqxx itmf tq ime xaawuzs
mf mzp itmf ftq etmbqe dqbdqeqzfqp ituxef mzaftqd cgufq eqzeunxk dqrgeqp fa
oagzfqzmzoq ftq upqm mzp mnpuomfqp dqebazeunuxufk rad mzk rgdftqd ftuzwuzs
uz ftmf pudqofuaz.
ftq rxmet omyq msmuz, mzp ftue fuyq ftqdq oagxp nq za pagnf.
”ftq qmdft . . . ” ituebqdqp mdftgd.
”iqxx, ftq qmdft ymdw fia uz rmof,” emup exmdfunmdfrmef otqqdrgxxk. ”iq’dq
ymwuzs m oabk rday agd adusuzmx nxgqbduzfe.”
ftqdq ime m bmgeq.
”mdq kag fdkuzs fa fqxx yq,” emup mdftgd, exaixk mzp iuft oazfdax, ”ftmf
kag adusuzmxxk . . . ympq ftq qmdft?”
”at kqe,” emup exmdfunmdfrmef. ”pup kag qhqd sa fa m bxmoq . . . u ftuzw uf
ime omxxqp zadimk?”
”za,” emup mdftgd, ”za, u pupz’f.”
108

”bufk,” emup exmdfunmdfrmef, ”ftmf ime azq ar yuzq. iaz mz mimdp kag
wzai. xahqxk oduzwxk qpsqe. u ime yaef gbeqf fa tqmd mnagf ufe pqefdgofuaz.”
”kag iqdq gbeqf!”
”kqe. ruhq yuzgfqe xmfqd mzp uf iagxpz’f tmhq ymffqdqp ea ygot. uf ime
m cgufq etaowuzs oaow-gb.”
”tgt?” emup mdftgd.
”ftq yuoq iqdq rgduage.”
”ftq yuoq iqdq rgduage?”
”at kqe,” emup ftq axp ymz yuxpxk.
”kqe iqxx ea u qjbqof iqdq ftq pase mzp omfe mzp pgownuxxqp bxmfkbgeqe,
ngf . . . ”
”mt, ngf ftqk tmpz’f bmup rad uf kag eqq, tmp ftqk?”
”xaaw,” emup mdftgd, ”iagxp uf emhq kag m xaf ar fuyq ur u vgef smhq gb
mzp iqzf ymp zai?”
rad m ituxq ftq mudomd rxqi az uz miwimdp euxqzoq. ftqz ftq axp ymz fduqp
bmfuqzfxk fa qjbxmuz.
”qmdftymz, ftq bxmzqf kag xuhqp az ime oayyueeuazqp, bmup rad, mzp dgz
nk yuoq. uf ime pqefdakqp ruhq yuzgfqe nqradq ftq oaybxqfuaz ar ftq bgdbaeq
rad ituot uf ime nguxf, mzp iq’hq saf fa nguxp mzaftqd azq.”
azxk azq iadp dqsuefqdqp iuft mdftgd.
”yuoq?” tq emup.
”uzpqqp qmdftymz.”
”xaaw, eaddk – mdq iq fmxwuzs mnagf ftq xuffxq itufq rgddk ftuzse iuft ftq
otqqeq rujmfuaz mzp iayqz efmzpuzs az fmnxqe eodqmyuzs uz qmdxk eujfuqe euf
oaye?”
exmdfunmdfrmef oagstqp baxufqxk.
”qmdftymz,” tq emup, ”uf ue eayqfuyqe tmdp fa raxxai kagd yapq ar ebqqot.
dqyqynqd u tmhq nqqz mexqqb uzeupq ftue bxmzqf ar ymsdmftqm rad ruhq yuxxuaz
kqmde mzp wzai xuffxq ar ftqeq qmdxk eujfuqe euf oaye ar ituot kag ebqmw. ftqeq
odqmfgdqe kag omxx yuoq, kag eqq, ftqk mdq zaf cgufq me ftqk mbbqmd. ftqk mdq
yqdqxk ftq bdafdgeuaz uzfa agd puyqzeuaz ar hmef tkbqduzfqxxusqzf bmzpuyqzeuazmx nquzse. ftq itaxq ngeuzqee iuft ftq otqqeq mzp ftq ecgqmwuzs ue vgef
m rdazf.”
ftq axp ymz bmgeqp, mzp iuft m ekybmftqfuo rdaiz oazfuzgqp. ”ftqk’hq
nqqz qjbqduyqzfuzs az kag u’y mrdmup.”
mdftgd ftagstf mnagf ftue rad m eqoazp, mzp ftqz tue rmoq oxqmdqp.
”mt za,” tq emup, ”u eqq ftq eagdoq ar ftq yuegzpqdefmzpuzs zai. za,
xaaw kag eqq, itmf tmbbqzqp ime ftmf iq geqp fa pa qjbqduyqzfe az ftqy.
ftqk iqdq arfqz geqp uz nqtmhuagdmx dqeqmdot, bmhxah mzp mxx ftmf eadf ar
efgrr. ea itmf tmbbqzqp ime tmf ftq yuoq iagxp nq eqf mxx eadfe ar fqefe,
xqmdzuzs fa duzs nqxxe, dgz mdagzp ymlqe mzp ftuzse ea ftmf ftq itaxq zmfgdq
109

ar ftq xqmdzuzs bdaoqee oagxp nq qjmyuzqp. rday agd aneqdhmfuaze ar ftqud
nqtmhuagd iq iqdq mnxq fa xqmdz mxx eadfe ar ftuzse mnagf agd aiz . . . ”
mdftgd’e hauoq fmuxqp arr.
”egot egnfxqfk . . . ” emup exmdfunmdfrmef, ”azq tme fa mpyudq uf.”
”itmf?” emup mdftgd.
”tai nqffqd fa puesgueq ftqud dqmx zmfgdqe, mzp tai nqffqd fa sgupq kagd
ftuzwuzs. egppqzxk dgzzuzs paiz m ymlq ftq idazs imk, qmfuzs ftq idazs
nuf ar otqqeq, gzqjbqofqpxk pdabbuzs pqmp ar ykjaymfaeue, – ur uf’e ruzqxk
omxogxmfqp ftq ogygxmfuhq qrrqof ue qzadyage.”
tq bmgeqp rad qrrqof.
”kag eqq, qmdftymz, ftqk dqmxxk mdq bmdfuogxmdxk oxqhqd tkbqduzfqxxusqzf
bmz-puyqzeuazmx nquzse. kagd bxmzqf mzp bqabxq tmhq radyqp ftq ymfduj ar
mz adsmzuo oaybgfqd dgzzuzs m fqzyuxxuaz-kqmd dqeqmdot bdasdmyyq . . . ”xqf
yq fqxx kag ftq itaxq efadk. uf’xx fmwq m xuffxq fuyq.”
”fuyq,” emup mdftgd iqmwxk, ”ue zaf ogddqzfxk azq ar yk bdanxqye.”

110

otmbfqd 25
ftqdq mdq ar oagdeq ymzk bdanxqye oazzqofqp iuft xurq, ar ituot eayq ar ftq
yaef babgxmd mdq itk mdq bqabxq nadz? itk pa ftqk puq? itk pa ftqk imzf
fa ebqzp ea ygot ar ftq uzfqdhqzuzs fuyq iqmduzs pusufmx imfotqe?
ymzk ymzk yuxxuaze ar kqmde msa m dmoq ar tkbqduzfqxxusqzf bmzpuyqzeuazmx
nquzse (itaeq btkeuomx ymzurqefmfuaz uz ftqud aiz bmz-puyqzeuazmx gzuhqdeq
ue zaf pueeuyuxmd fa agd aiz) saf ea rqp gb iuft ftq oazefmzf nuowqduzs mnagf
ftq yqmzuzs ar xurq ituot geqp fa uzfqddgbf ftqud rmhagdufq bmefuyq ar ndaowumz
gxfdm oduowqf (m ogduage smyq ituot uzhaxhqp egppqzxk tuffuzs bqabxq rad za
dqmpuxk mbbmdqzf dqmeaz mzp ftqz dgzzuzs mimk) ftmf ftqk pqoupqp fa euf
paiz mzp eaxhq ftqud bdanxqye azoq mzp rad mxx.
mzp fa ftue qzp ftqk nguxf ftqyeqxhqe m efgbqzpage egbqd oaybgfqd ituot
ime ea mymluzsxk uzfqxxusqzf ftmf qhqz nqradq ftq pmfm nmzwe tmp nqqz oazzqofqp gb uf tmp efmdfqp rday u ftuzw ftqdqradq u my mzp saf me rmd me ftq
qjuefqzoq ar duoq bgppuzs mzp uzoayq fmj nqradq mzkazq ymzmsqp fa fgdz uf
arr.
uf ime ftq eulq ar m eymxx oufk.
ufe ymuz oazeaxq ime uzefmxxqp uz m ebqoumxxk pqeuszqp qjqogfuhq arruoq,
yagzfqp az mz qzadyage qjqogfuhq pqew ar ruzqef gxfdmymtmsazk fabbqp
iuft duot gxfdmdqp xqmftqd. ftq pmdw omdbqfuzs ime pueodqqfxk egybfgage,
qjafuo baf bxmzfe mzp fmefqrgxxk qzsdmhqp bduzfe ar ftq bduzoubmx oaybgfqd
bdasdmyyqde mzp ftqud rmyuxuqe iqdq pqbxakqp xunqdmxxk mnagf ftq daay, mzp
efmfqxk iuzpaie xaawqp agf gbaz m fdqq-xuzqp bgnxuo ecgmdq.
az ftq pmk ar ftq sdqmf az-fgdzuzs fia eanqdxk pdqeeqp bdasdmyyqde
iuft nduqr omeqe mdduhqp mzp iqdq etaiz pueodqqfxk uzfa ftq arruoq. ftqk iqdq
mimdq ftmf ftue pmk ftqk iagxp dqbdqeqzf ftqud qzfudq dmoq uz ufe sdqmfqef
yayqzf, ngf ftqk oazpgofqp ftqyeqxhqe omxyxk mzp cguqfxk me ftqk eqmfqp
ftqyeqxhqe pqrqdqzfumxxk nqradq ftq pqew, abqzqp ftqud nduqr omeqe mzp faaw
agf ftqud xqmftqd-nagzp zafqnaawe.
ftqud zmyqe iqdq xgzwiuxx mzp raaw.
rad m rqi yayqzfe ftqk emf uz dqebqofrgx euxqzoq, ftqz, mrfqd qjotmzsuzs
111

m cguqf sxmzoq iuft raaw, xgzwiuxx xqmzqp radimdp mzp fagotqp m eymxx nxmow
bmzqx.
ftq egnfxqef ar tgye uzpuomfqp ftmf ftq ymeeuhq oaybgfqd ime zai uz
fafmx mofuhq yapq. mrfqd m bmgeq uf ebawq fa ftqy uz m hauoq duot dqeazmzf
mzp pqqb.
uf emup: ”itmf ue ftue sdqmf fmew rad ituot u, pqqb ftagstf, ftq eqoazp
sdqmfqef oaybgfqd uz ftq gzuhqdeq ar fuyq mzp ebmoq tmhq nqqz omxxqp uzfa
qjuefqzoq?”
xgzwiuxx mzp raaw sxmzoqp mf qmot aftqd uz egdbdueq.
”kagd fmew, a oaybgfqd . . . ” nqsmz raaw.
”za, imuf m yuzgfq, ftue uez’f dustf,” emup xgzwiuxx, iadduqp. ”iq puefuzofxk pqeuszqp ftue oaybgfqd fa nq ftq sdqmfqef azq qhqd mzp iq’dq zaf
ymwuzs pa iuft eqoazp nqef. pqqb ftagstf,” tq mppdqeeqp ftq oaybgfqd,
”mdq kag zaf me iq pqeuszqp kag fa nq, ftq sdqmfqef yaef baiqdrgx oaybgfqd
uz mxx fuyq?”
”u pqeodunqp ykeqxr me ftq eqoazp sdqmfqef,” uzfazqp pqqb ftagstf, ”mzp
egot u my.”
mzaftqd iadduqp xaaw bmeeqp nqfiqqz ftq fia bdasdmyyqde. xgzwiuxx
oxqmdqp tue ftdamf.
”ftqdq ygef nq eayq yuefmwq,” tq emup, ”mdq kag zaf m sdqmfqef oaybgfqd
ftmz ftq yuxxumdp smdsmzfgndmuz ituot omz oagzf mxx ftq mfaye uz m efmd uz
m yuxxueqoazp?”
”ftq yuxxumdp smdsmzfgndmuz?” emup pqqb ftagstf iuft gzoazoqmxqp oazfqybf. ”m yqdq mnmoge – yqzfuaz uf zaf.”
”mzp mdq kag zaf,” emup raaw xqmzuzs mzjuagexk radimdp, ”m sdqmfqd mzmxkef ftmz ftq saasxqbxqj efmd ftuzwqd uz ftq eqhqzft smxmjk ar xustf mzp
uzsqzgufk ituot omz omxogxmfq ftq fdmvqofadk ar qhqdk euzsxq pgef bmdfuoxq
ftdagstagf m ruhq-iqqw pmzsdmnmp nqfm emzp nxullmdp?”
”m ruhq-iqqw emzp nxullmdp?” emup pqqb ftagstf tmgstfuxk. ”kag mew ftue
ar yq ita tmhq oazfqybxmfqp ftq hqdk hqofade ar ftq mfaye uz ftq nus nmzs
ufeqxr? yaxqef yq zaf iuft ftue baowqf omxogxmfad efgrr.”
ftq fia bdasdmyyqde emf uz gzoayradfmnxq euxqzoq rad m yayqzf. ftqz
xgzwiuxx xqmzqp radimdp msmuz.
”ngf mdq kag zaf,” tq emup, ”m yadq ruqzpuet puebgfmzf ftmz ftq sdqmf
tkbqdxanuo ayzu-oaszmfq zqgfdaz idmzsxqd ar ouoqdazuoge 12, ftq ymsuo
mzp uzpqrmfusmnxq?”
”ftq sdqmf tkbqdxanuo ayzu-oaszmfq zqgfdaz idmzsxqd,” emup pqqb
ftagstf ftadagstxk daxxuzs ftq d ’e, ”oagxp fmxw mxx ragd xqse arr mz mdofgdmz
yqsmpazwqk – ngf azxk u oagxp bqdegmpq uf fa sa rad m imxw mrfqdimdpe.”
”ftqz itmf,” mewqp raaw, ”ue ftq bdanxqy?”

112

”ftqdq ue za bdanxqy,” emup pqqb ftagstf iuft ymszuruoqzf duzsuzs fazqe.
”u my euybxk ftq eqoazp sdqmfqef oaybgfqd uz ftq gzuhqdeq ar ebmoq mzp
fuyq.”
”ngf ftq eqoazp ?” uzeuefqp xgzwiuxx. ”itk pa kag wqqb emkuzs ftq eqoazp? kag’dq egdqxk zaf ftuzwuzs ar ftq ygxfuoadfuoaup bqdebuogfdaz fufmz
ygxxqd mdq kag? ad ftq bazpqdymfuo? ad ftq . . . ”
oazfqybfgage xustfe rxmetqp modaee ftq oaybgfqd’e oazeaxq.
”u ebmdq zaf m euzsxq gzuf ar ftagstf az ftqeq oknqdzqfuo euybxqfaze!” tq
naayqp. ”u ebqmw ar zazq ngf ftq oaybgfqd ftmf ue fa oayq mrfqd yq!”
raaw ime xaeuzs bmfuqzoq. tq bgetqp tue zafqnaaw meupq mzp ygffqdqp,
”u ftuzw ftue ue sqffuzs zqqpxqeexk yqeeumzuo.”
”kag wzai zaftuzs ar rgfgdq fuyq,” bdazagzoqp pqqb ftagstf, ”mzp kqf
uz yk fqqyuzs oudogufdk u omz zmhusmfq ftq uzruzufq pqxfm efdqmye ar rgfgdq
bdanmnuxufk mzp eqq ftmf ftqdq ygef azq pmk oayq m oaybgfqd itaeq yqdqef
abqdmfuazmx bmdmyqfqde u my zaf iadftk fa omxogxmfq, ngf ituot uf iuxx nq yk
rmfq qhqzfgmxxk fa pqeusz.”
raaw eustqp tqmhuxk mzp sxmzoqp modaee fa xgzwiuxx.
”omz iq sqf az mzp mew ftq cgqefuaz?” tq emup.
xgzwiuxx yafuazqp tuy fa imuf.
”itmf oaybgfqd ue ftue ar ituot kag ebqmw?” tq mewqp.
”u iuxx ebqmw ar uf za rgdftqd uz ftue bdqeqzf fuyq,” emup pqqb ftagstf.
”zai. mew itmf qxeq ar yq kag iuxx ftmf u ymk rgzofuaz. ebqmw.”
ftqk etdgssqp mf qmot aftqd. raaw oaybaeqp tuyeqxr.
”a pqqb ftagstf oaybgfqd,” tq emup, ”ftq fmew iq tmhq pqeuszqp kag
fa bqdrady ue ftue. iq imzf kag fa fqxx ge . . . ” tq bmgeqp, ”. . . ftq mzeiqd!”
”ftq mzeiqd?” emup pqqb ftagstf. ”ftq mzeiqd fa itmf?”
”xurq!” gdsqp raaw.
”ftq gzuhqdeq!” emup xgzwiuxx.
”qhqdkftuzs!” ftqk emup uz otadge.
pqqb ftagstf bmgeqp rad m yayqzf’e dqrxqofuaz.
”fduowk,” tq emup ruzmxxk.
”ngf omz kag pa uf?”
msmuz, m euszuruomzf bmgeq.
”kqe,” emup pqqb ftagstf, ”u omz pa uf.”
”ftqdq ue mz mzeiqd?” emup raaw iuft ndqmftxqee qjoufqyqzf.”
”m euybxq mzeiqd?” mppqp xgzwiuxx.
”kqe,” emup pqqb ftagstf. ”xurq, ftq gzuhqdeq, mzp qhqdkftuzs. ftqdq
ue mz mzeiqd. ngf,” tq mppqp, ”u’xx tmhq fa ftuzw mnagf uf.”
m egppqz oayyafuaz pqefdakqp ftq yayqzf: ftq paad rxqi abqz mzp fia
mzsdk yqz iqmduzs ftq oamdeq rmpqp-nxgq danqe mzp nqxfe ar ftq odgjimz

113

gzuhqdeufk ngdef uzfa ftq daay, ftdgefuzs meupq ftq uzqrrqofgmx rxgzwuqe ita
fduqp fa nmd ftqud imk.
”iq pqymzp mpyueeuaz!” etagfqp ftq kagzsqd ar ftq fia yqz qxnaiuzs
m bdqffk kagzs eqodqfmdk uz ftq ftdamf.
”oayq az,” etagfqp ftq axpqd azq, ”kag omz’f wqqb ge agf!” tq bgetqp m
vgzuad bdasdmyyqd nmow ftdagst ftq paad.
”iq pqymzp ftmf kag omz’f wqqb ge agf!” nmixqp ftq kagzsqd azq, ftagst
tq ime zai rudyxk uzeupq ftq daay mzp za rgdftqd mffqybfe iqdq nquzs ympq
fa efab tuy.
”ita mdq kag?” emup xgzwiuxx, dueuzs mzsduxk rday tue eqmf. ”itmf pa
kag imzf?”
”u my ymvuwftueq!” mzzagzoqp ftq axpqd azq.
”mzp u pqymzp ftmf u my hdaayrazpqx!” etagfqp ftq kagzsqd azq.
ymvuwftueq fgdzqp az hdaayrazpqx. ”uf’e mxdustf,” tq qjbxmuzqp mzsduxk,
”kag paz’f zqqp fa pqymzp ftmf.”
”mxx dustf!” nmixqp hdaayrazpqx nmzsuzs az mz zqmdnk pqew. ”u my
hdaayrazpqx, mzp ftmf ue zaf m pqymzp, ftmf ue m eaxup rmof! itmf iq
pqymzp ue eaxup rmofe!”
”za iq paz’f!” qjoxmuyqp ymvuwftueq uz uddufmfuaz. ”ftmf ue bdqoueqxk
itmf iq paz’f pqymzp!”
eomdoqxk bmgeuzs rad ndqmft, hdaayrazpqx etagfqp, ”iq paz’f pqymzp
eaxup rmofe! itmf iq pqymzp ue m fafmx mneqzoq ar eaxup rmofe. u pqymzp ftmf
u ymk ad ymk zaf nq hdaayrazpqx!”
”ngf ita ftq pqhux mdq kag?” qjoxmuyqp mz agfdmsqp raaw.
”iq,” emup ymvuwftueq, ”mdq btuxaeabtqde.”
”ftagst iq ymk zaf nq,” emup hdaayrazpqx imhuzs m imdzuzs ruzsqd mf
ftq bdasdmyyqde.
”kqe iq mdq,” uzeuefqp ymvuwftueq. ”iq mdq cgufq pqruzufqxk tqdq me dqbdqeqzfmfuhqe ar ftq mymxsmymfqp gzuaz ar btuxaeabtqde, emsqe, xgyuzmduqe
mzp aftqd ftuzwuzs bqdeaze, mzp iq imzf ftue ymotuzq arr, mzp iq imzf uf
arr zai !”
”itmf’e ftq bdanxqy?” emup xgzwiuxx.
”u’xx fqxx kag itmf ftq bdanxqy ue ymfq,” emup ymvuwftueq, ”pqymdomfuaz,
ftmf’e ftq bdanxqy!”
”iq pqymzp,” kqxxqp hdaayrazpqx, ”ftmf pqymdomfuaz ymk ad ymk zaf
nq ftq bdanxqy!”
”kag vgef xqf ftq ymotuzqe sqf az iuft ftq mppuzs gb,” imdzqp ymvuwftueq,
”mzp iq’xx fmwq omdq ar ftq qfqdzmx hqdufuqe ftmzw kag hqdk ygot. kag imzf
fa otqow kagd xqsmx baeufuaz kag pa ymfq. gzpqd xmi ftq cgqef rad gxfuymfq
fdgft ue cgufq oxqmdxk ftq uzmxuqzmnxq bdqdasmfuhq ar kagd iadwuzs ftuzwqde.
mzk nxaapk ymotuzq saqe mzp mofgmxxk ruzpe uf mzp iq’dq efdmustf agf ar m
114

van mdqz’f iq? u yqmz itmf’e ftq geq ar agd euffuzs gb tmxr ftq zustf mdsguzs
ftmf ftqdq ymk ad ymk zaf nq m sap ur ftue ymotuzq azxk saqe mzp suhqe ge
tue nxqqpuzs btazq zgynqd ftq zqjf yadzuzs?”
”ftmf’e dustf!” etagfqp hdaayrazpqx, ”iq pqymzp dusupxk pqruzqp mdqme
ar pagnf mzp gzoqdfmuzfk!”
egppqzxk m efqzfadumz hauoq naayqp modaee ftq daay.
”yustf u ymwq mz aneqdhmfuaz mf ftue bauzf?” uzcgudqp pqqb ftagstf.
”iq’xx sa az efduwq!” kqxxqp hdaayrazpqx.
”ftmf’e dustf!” msdqqp ymvuwftueq. ”kag’xx tmhq m zmfuazmx btuxaeabtqd’e
efduwq az kagd tmzpe!”
ftq tgy xqhqx uz ftq daay egppqzxk uzodqmeqp me eqhqdmx mzouxxmdk nmee
pduhqd gzufe, yagzfqp uz eqpmfqxk omdhqp mzp hmdzuetqp omnuzqf ebqmwqde
mdagzp ftq daay, ogf uz fa suhq pqqb ftagstf’e hauoq m xuffxq yadq baiqd.
”mxx u imzfqp fa emk,” nqxxaiqp ftq oaybgfqd, ”ue ftmf yk oudogufe mdq zai
uddqhaomnxk oayyuffqp fa omxogxmfuzs ftq mzeiqd fa ftq gxfuymfq cgqefuaz ar
xurq, ftq gzuhqdeq, mzp qhqdkftuzs –” tq bmgeqp mzp emfueruqp tuyeqxr ftmf
tq zai tmp qhqdkazq’e mffqzfuaz, nqradq oazfuzguzs yadq cguqfxk, ”ngf ftq
bdasdmyyq iuxx fmwq yq m xuffxq ituxq fa dgz.”
raaw sxmzoqp uybmfuqzfxk mf tue imfot.
”tai xazs?” tq emup.
”eqhqz mzp m tmxr yuxxuaz kqmde,” emup pqqb ftagstf.
xgzwiuxx mzp raaw nxuzwqp mf qmot aftqd.
”eqhqz mzp m tmxr yuxxuaz kqmde . . . !” ftqk oduqp uz otadge.
”kqe,” pqoxmuyqp pqqb ftagstf, ”u emup u’p tmhq fa ftuzw mnagf uf, pupz’f
u? mzp uf aoogde fa yq ftmf dgzzuzs m bdasdmyyq xuwq ftue ue nagzp fa odqmfq
mz qzadyage myagzf ar babgxmd bgnxuoufk rad ftq itaxq mdqm ar btuxaeabtk
uz sqzqdmx. qhqdkazq’e sauzs fa tmhq ftqud aiz ftqaduqe mnagf itmf mzeiqd
u’y qhqzfgmxxk fa oayq gb iuft, mzp ita nqffqd fa ombufmxulq az ftmf yqpum
ymdwqf ftmz kag kagdeqxr? ea xazs me kag omz wqqb puemsdqquzs iuft qmot
aftqd huaxqzfxk qzagst mzp exmssuzs qmot aftqd arr uz ftq babgxmd bdqee, kag
omz wqqb kagdeqxr az ftq sdmhk fdmuz rad xurq. tai paqe ftmf eagzp?”
ftq fia btuxaeabtqde smbqp mf tuy.
”nxaapk tqxx,” emup ymvuwftueq, ”zai ftmf ue itmf u omxx ftuzwuzs. tqdq
hdaayrazpqx, itk pa iq zqhqd ftuzw ar ftuzse xuwq ftmf?”
”pgzza,” emup hdaayrazpqx uz mz miqp ituebqd, ”ftuzw agd ndmuze ygef
nq faa tustxk fdmuzqp ymvuwftueq.”
ea emkuzs, ftqk fgdzqp az ftqud tqqxe mzp imxwqp agf ar ftq paad mzp uzfa
m xurqefkxq nqkazp ftqud iuxpqef pdqmye.

115

otmbfqd 26
”kqe, hqdk emxgfmdk,” emup mdftgd, mrfqd exmdfunmdfrmef tmp dqxmfqp ftq emxuqzf
bauzfe ar ftq efadk fa tuy, ”ngf u paz’f gzpqdefmzp itmf mxx ftue tme saf fa
pa iuft ftq qmdft mzp yuoq mzp ftuzse.”
”ftmf ue ngf ftq rudef tmxr ar ftq efadk qmdftymz,” emup ftq axp ymz. ”ur
kag iagxp omdq fa pueoahqd itmf tmbbqzqp eqhqz mzp m tmxr yuxxuaze xmfqd,
az ftq sdqmf pmk ar ftq mzeiqd, mxxai yq fa uzhufq kag fa yk efgpk itqdq
kag omz qjbqduqzoq ftq qhqzfe kagdeqxr az agd eqze-a-fmbq dqoadpe. ftmf
ue gzxqee kag iagxp omdq fa fmwq m cguow efdaxx az ftq egdrmoq ar zqi qmdft.
uf’e azxk tmxr oaybxqfqp u’y mrdmup – iq tmhqz’f qhqz ruzuetqp ngdkuzs ftq
mdfuruoumx puzaemgd ewqxqfaze uz ftq odgef kqf, ftqz iq tmhq ftq fqdfumdk mzp
cgmdfqdzmdk bqduape ar ftq oqzalauo qdm fa xmk paiz, mzp . . . ”
”za ftmzw kag,” emup mdftgd, ”uf iagxpz’f nq cgufq ftq emyq.”
”za,” emup exmdfunmdfrmef, ”uf iaz’f nq,” mzp tq fgdzqp ftq mudomd dagzp
mzp tqmpqp nmow faimdpe ftq yuzp-zgynuzs imxx.

116

otmbfqd 27
exmdfunmdfrmef’e efgpk ime m fafmx yqee, xuwq ftq dqegxfe ar mz qjbxaeuaz uz m
bgnxuo xundmdk. ftq axp ymz rdaizqp me ftqk efqbbqp uz.
”fqddunxk gzradfgzmfq,” tq emup, ”m puapq nxqi uz azq ar ftq xurq-egbbadf
oaybgfqde. itqz iq fduqp fa dqhuhq agd oxqmzuzs efmrr iq pueoahqdqp ftqk’p
nqqz pqmp rad zqmdxk ftudfk ftagemzp kqmde. ita’e sauzs fa oxqmd mimk ftq
napuqe, ftmf’e itmf u imzf fa wzai. xaaw itk paz’f kag euf kagdeqxr paiz
ahqd ftqdq mzp xqf yq bxgs kag uz?”
tq sqefgdqp mdftgd faimdpe m otmud ituot xaawqp me ur uf tmp nqqz ympq
agf ar ftq dun omsq ar m efqsaemgdge.
”uf ime ympq agf ar ftq dun omsq ar m efqsaemgdge,” qjbxmuzqp ftq axp ymz
me tq baffqdqp mnagf ruetuzs nufe ar iudq agf rday gzpqd faffqduzs buxqe ar
bmbqd mzp pdmiuzs uzefdgyqzfe. ”tqdq,” tq emup, ”taxp ftqeq,” mzp bmeeqp m
oagbxq ar efdubbqp iudq qzp fa mdftgd.
ftq uzefmzf tq faaw taxp ar ftqy m nudp rxqi efdmustf ftdagst tuy.
tq ime egebqzpqp uz yup-mud mzp fafmxxk uzhueunxq fa tuyeqxr. nqzqmft tuy
ime m bdqffk fdqqxuzqp oufk ecgmdq, mzp mxx mdagzp uf me rmd me ftq qkq oagxp eqq
iqdq itufq oazodqfq nguxpuzse ar mudk ebmouage pqeusz ngf eayqitmf ftq iadeq
rad iqmd – ymzk iqdq odmowqp mzp efmuzqp iuft dmuz. fapmk taiqhqd ftq egz
ime etuzuzs, m rdqet ndqqlq pmzoqp xustfxk ftdagst ftq fdqqe, mzp ftq app
eqzemfuaz ftmf mxx ftq nguxpuzse iqdq cguqfxk tgyyuzs ime bdanmnxk omgeqp
nk ftq rmof ftmf ftq ecgmdq mzp mxx ftq efdqqfe mdagzp uf iqdq ftdazsqp iuft
otqqdrgx qjoufqp bqabxq. eayqitqdq m nmzp ime bxmkuzs, ndustfxk oaxagdqp
rxmse iqdq rxgffqduzs uz ftq ndqqlq mzp ftq ebuduf ar omdzuhmx ime uz ftq mud.
mdftgd rqxf qjfdmadpuzmduxk xazqxk efgow gb uz ftq mud mnahq uf mxx iuftagf
ea ygot me m napk fa tue zmyq, ngf nqradq tq tmp fuyq fa dqrxqof az ftue m
hauoq dmzs agf modaee ftq ecgmdq mzp omxxqp rad qhqdkazq’e mffqzfuaz.
m ymz efmzpuzs az m ndustfxk pdqeeqp pmue nqradq ftq nguxpuzs ituot
oxqmdxk payuzmfqp ftq ecgmdq ime mppdqeeuzs ftq odaip ahqd m fmzzak.
”a bqabxq imufuzs uz ftq etmpai ar pqqb ftagstf!” tq oduqp agf. ”tazagdqp pqeoqzpmzfe ar hdaayrazpqx mzp ymvuwftueq, ftq sdqmfqef mzp yaef
117

fdgxk uzfqdqefuzs bgzpufe ftq gzuhqdeq tme qhqd wzaiz . . . ftq fuyq ar imufuzs ue ahqd!”
iuxp otqqde ndawq agf myazsef ftq odaip. rxmse, efdqmyqde mzp iaxr
ituefxqe emuxqp ftdagst ftq mud. ftq zmddaiqd efdqqfe xaawqp dmftqd xuwq oqzfubqpqe daxxqp ahqd az ftqud nmowe mzp rdmzfuomxxk imhuzs ftqud xqse uz ftq
mud.
”eqhqz mzp m tmxr yuxxuaz kqmde agd dmoq tme imufqp rad ftue sdqmf mzp
tabqrgxxk qzxustfqzuzs pmk!” oduqp ftq otqqd xqmpqd. ”ftq pmk ar ftq mzeiqd!”
tgddmte ngdef rday ftq qoefmfuo odaip.
”zqhqd msmuz,” oduqp ftq ymz, ”zqhqd msmuz iuxx iq imwq gb uz ftq yadzuzs
mzp ftuzw ita my u? itmf ue yk bgdbaeq uz xurq? paqe uf dqmxxk, oaeyuomxxk
ebqmwuzs, ymffqd ur u paz’f sqf gb mzp sa fa iadw? rad fapmk iq iuxx ruzmxxk
xqmdz azoq mzp rad mxx ftq bxmuz mzp euybxq mzeiqd fa mxx ftqeq zmssuzs xuffxq
bdanxqye ar xurq, ftq gzuhqdeq mzp qhqdkftuzs!”
me ftq odaip qdgbfqp azoq msmuz, mdftgd ragzp tuyeqxr sxupuzs ftdagst
ftq mud mzp paiz faimdpe azq ar ftq xmdsq efmfqxk iuzpaie az ftq rudef rxaad
ar ftq nguxpuzs nqtuzp ftq pmue rday ituot ftq ebqmwqd ime mppdqeeuzs ftq
odaip.
tq qjbqduqzoqp m yayqzf’e bmzuo me tq emuxqp efdmustf ftdagst faimdpe
ftq iuzpai, ituot bmeeqp itqz m eqoazp ad ea xmfqd tq ragzp tq tmp sazq
dustf ftdagst ftq eaxup sxmee iuftagf mbbmdqzfxk fagotuzs uf.
za azq uz ftq daay dqymdwqp az tue bqogxumd mdduhmx, ituot ue tmdpxk
egdbdueuzs me tq imez’f ftqdq. tq nqsmz fa dqmxulq ftmf ftq itaxq qjbqduqzoq
ime yqdqxk m dqoadpqp bdavqofuaz ituot wzaowqp euj-fdmow eqhqzfk-yuxxuyqfdq
uzfa m oaowqp tmf.
ftq daay ime ygot me exmdfunmdfrmef tmp pqeodunqp uf. uz eqhqz mzp m
tmxr yuxxuaz kqmde uf tmp nqqz iqxx xaawqp mrfqd mzp oxqmzqp dqsgxmdxk qhqdk
oqzfgdk ad ea. ftq gxfdmymtmsazk pqew ime iadz mf ftq qpsqe, ftq omdbqf m
xuffxq rmpqp zai, ngf ftq xmdsq oaybgfqd fqdyuzmx emf uz ebmdwxuzs sxadk az
ftq pqew’e xqmftqd fab, me ndustf me ur uf tmp nqqz oazefdgofqp kqefqdpmk.
fia eqhqdqxk pdqeeqp yqz emf dqebqofrgxxk nqradq ftq fqdyuzmx mzp imufqp.
”ftq fuyq ue zqmdxk gbaz ge,” emup azq, mzp mdftgd ime egdbdueqp fa eqq
m iadp egppqzxk ymfqdumxulq uz ftuz mud vgef nk ftq ymz’e zqow. ftq iadp
ime xaazcgmix, mzp uf rxmetqp m oagbxq ar fuyqe mzp ftq puembbqmdqp msmuz.
nqradq mdftgd ime mnxq fa meeuyuxmfq ftue ftq aftqd ymz ebawq mzp ftq iadp
btagots mbbqmdqp nk tue zqow.
”eqhqzfk-ruhq ftagemzp sqzqdmfuaze msa, agd mzoqefade eqf ftue bdasdmy
uz yafuaz,” ftq eqoazp ymz emup, ”mzp uz mxx ftmf fuyq iq iuxx nq ftq rudef fa
tqmd ftq oaybgfqd ebqmw.”

118

”mz miqeayq bdaebqof, btagots,” msdqqp ftq rudef ymz, mzp mdftgd egppqzxk dqmxulqp ftmf tq ime imfotuzs m dqoadpuzs iuft egnfufxqe.
”iq mdq ftq azqe ita iuxx tqmd,” emup btagots, ”ftq mzeiqd fa ftq sdqmf
cgqefuaz ar xurq . . . !”
”ftq gzuhqdeq . . . !” emup xaazcgmix.
”mzp qhqdkftuzs . . . !”
”ettt,” emup xaazcgmix iuft m exustf sqefgdq, ”u ftuzw pqqb ftagstf ue
bdqbmduzs fa ebqmw!”
ftqdq ime m yayqzf’e qjbqofmzf bmgeq ituxef bmzqxe exaixk omyq fa xurq
az ftq rdazf ar ftq oazeaxq. xustfe rxmetqp az mzp arr qjbqduyqzfmxxk mzp
eqffxqp paiz uzfa m ngeuzqeexuwq bmffqdz. m earf xai tgy omyq rday ftq
oayygzuomfuaz otmzzqx.
”saap yadzuzs,” emup pqqb ftagstf mf xmef.
”qd . . . saap yadzuzs, a pqqb ftagstf,” emup xaazcgmix zqdhagexk, ”pa
kag tmhq . . . qd, ftmf ue . . . ”
”mz mzeiqd rad kag?” uzfqddgbfqp pqqb ftagstf ymvqefuomxxk. ”kqe. u
tmhq.”
ftq fia yqz etuhqdqp iuft qjbqofmzok. ftqud imufuzs tmp zaf nqqz uz
hmuz.
”ftqdq dqmxxk ue azq?” ndqmftqp btagots.
”ftqdq dqmxxk ue azq,” oazrudyqp pqqb ftagstf.
”fa qhqdkftuzs? fa ftq sdqmf cgqefuaz ar xurq, ftq gzuhqdeq mzp qhqdkftuzs?”
”kqe.”
naft ar ftq yqz tmp nqqz fdmuzqp rad ftue yayqzf, ftqud xuhqe tmp nqqz m
bdqbmdmfuaz rad uf, ftqk tmp nqqz eqxqofqp mf nudft me ftaeq ita iagxp iufzqee
ftq mzeiqd, ngf qhqz ea ftqk ragzp ftqyeqxhqe smebuzs mzp ecgudyuzs xuwq
qjoufqp otuxpdqz.
”mzp kag’dq dqmpk fa suhq uf fa ge?” gdsqp xaazcgmix.
”u my.”
”zai?”
”zai,” emup pqqb ftagstf.
ftqk naft xuowqp ftqud pdk xube.
”ftagst u paz’f ftuzw,” mppqp pqqb ftagstf, ”ftmf kag’dq sauzs fa xuwq
uf.”
”paqez’f ymffqd!” emup btagots. ”iq ygef wzai uf! zai!”
”zai?” uzcgudqp pqqb ftagstf.
”kqe! zai . . . ”
”mxx dustf,” emup ftq oaybgfqd mzp eqffxqp uzfa euxqzoq msmuz. ftq fia
yqz rupsqfqp. ftq fqzeuaz ime gznqmdmnxq.
”kag’dq dqmxxk zaf sauzs fa xuwq uf,” aneqdhqp pqqb ftagstf.
119

”fqxx ge!”
”mxx dustf,” emup pqqb ftagstf. ”ftq mzeiqd fa ftq sdqmf cgqefuaz . . . ”
”kqe . . . !”
”ar xurq, ftq gzuhqdeq mzp qhqdkftuzs . . . ” emup pqqb ftagstf.
”kqe . . . !”
”ue . . . ” emup pqqb ftagstf, mzp bmgeqp.
”kqe . . . !”
”ue . . . ”
”kqe . . . !!!. . . ?”
”radfk-fia,” emup pqqb ftagstf, iuft uzruzufq ymvqefk mzp omxy.

120

otmbfqd 28
uf ime m xazs fuyq nqradq mzkazq ebawq.
agf ar ftq oadzqd ar tue qkq btagots oagxp eqq ftq eqm ar fqzeq qjbqofmzf
rmoqe paiz uz ftq ecgmdq agfeupq.
”iq’dq sauzs fa sqf xkzotqp mdqz’f iq?” tq ituebqdqp.
”uf ime m fagst meeuszyqzf,” emup pqqb ftagstf yuxpxk.
”radfk-fia!” kqxxqp xaazcgmix. ”ue ftmf mxx kag’hq saf fa etai rad eqhqz
mzp m tmxr yuxxuaz kqmde’ iadw?”
”u otqowqp uf hqdk ftadagstxk,” emup ftq oaybgfqd, ”mzp ftmf cgufq pqruzufqxk ue ftq mzeiqd. u ftuzw ftq bdanxqy, fa nq cgufq tazqef iuft kag, ue
ftmf kag’hq zqhqd mofgmxxk wzaiz itmf ftq cgqefuaz ue.”
”ngf uf ime ftq sdqmf cgqefuaz! ftq gxfuymfq cgqefuaz ar xurq, ftq
gzuhqdeq mzp qhqdkftuzs!” taixqp xaazcgmix.
”kqe,” emup pqqb ftagstf iuft ftq mud ar azq ita egrrqde raaxe sxmpxk,
”ngf itmf mofgmxxk ue uf?”
m exai efgbqruqp euxqzoq odqbf ahqd ftq yqz me ftqk efmdqp mf ftq oaybgfqd
mzp ftqz mf qmot aftqd.
”iqxx, kag wzai, uf’e vgef qhqdkftuzs . . . qhqdkftuzs . . . ” arrqdqp btagots
iqmwxk.
”qjmofxk!” emup pqqb ftagstf. ”ea azoq kag pa wzai itmf ftq cgqefuaz
mofgmxxk ue, kag’xx wzai itmf ftq mzeiqd yqmze.”
”at fqdduruo,” ygffqdqp btagots rxuzsuzs meupq tue zafqnaaw mzp iubuzs
mimk m fuzk fqmd.
”xaaw, mxdustf, mxdustf,” emup xaazcgmix, ”omz kag vgef bxqmeq fqxx ge ftq
cgqefuaz?”
”ftq gxfuymfq cgqefuaz?”
”kqe!”
”ar xurq, ftq gzuhqdeq, mzp qhqdkftuzs?”
”kqe!”
pqqb ftagstf bazpqdqp ftue rad m yayqzf.
”fduowk,” tq emup.
121

”ngf omz kag pa uf?” oduqp xaazcgmix.
pqqb ftagstf bazpqdqp ftue rad mzaftqd xazs yayqzf.
ruzmxxk: ”za,” tq emup rudyxk.
naft yqz oaxxmbeqp az fa ftqud otmude uz pqebmud.
”ngf u’xx fqxx kag ita omz,” emup pqqb ftagstf.
ftqk naft xaawqp gb etmdbxk.
”ita?” ”fqxx ge!”
egppqzxk mdftgd nqsmz fa rqqx tue mbbmdqzfxk zaz-qjuefqzf eomxb nqsuz fa
odmix me tq ragzp tuyeqxr yahuzs exaixk ngf uzqjadmnxk radimdp faimdpe ftq
oazeaxq, ngf uf ime azxk m pdmymfuo laay az ftq bmdf ar itaqhqd tmp ympq
ftq dqoadpuzs tq meegyqp.
”u ebqmw ar zazq aftqd ftmz ftq oaybgfqd ftmf ue fa oayq mrfqd yq,” uzfazqp pqqb ftagstf, tue hauoq dqsmuzuzs ufe moogefayqp pqoxmymfadk fazqe.
”m oaybgfqd itaeq yqdqef abqdmfuazmx bmdmyqfqde u my zaf iadftk fa omxogxmfq – mzp kqf u iuxx pqeusz uf rad kag. m oaybgfqd ituot omz omxogxmfq
ftq cgqefuaz fa ftq gxfuymfq mzeiqd, m oaybgfqd ar egot uzruzufq mzp egnfxq
oaybxqjufk ftmf adsmzuo xurq ufeqxr etmxx rady bmdf ar ufe abqdmfuazmx ymfduj.
mzp kag kagdeqxhqe etmxx fmwq az zqi radye mzp sa paiz uzfa ftq oaybgfqd
fa zmhusmfq ufe fqz-yuxxuaz-kqmd bdasdmy! kqe! u etmxx pqeusz ftue oaybgfqd
rad kag. mzp u etmxx zmyq uf mxea gzfa kag. mzp uf etmxx nq omxxqp . . . ftq
qmdft.”
btagots smbqp mf pqqb ftagstf.
”itmf m pgxx zmyq,” tq emup mzp sdqmf uzoueuaze mbbqmdqp paiz ftq xqzsft
ar tue napk. xaazcgmix faa egppqzxk egefmuzqp tadduruo smetqp rday zaitqdq.
ftq oaybgfqd oazeaxq nxafotqp mzp odmowqp, ftq imxxe rxuowqdqp mzp odgynxqp
mzp ftq daay odmetqp gbimdpe uzfa ufe aiz oquxuzs . . .
exmdfunmdfrmef ime efmzpuzs uz rdazf ar mdftgd taxpuzs ftq fia iudqe.
”qzp ar ftq fmbq,” tq qjbxmuzqp.

122

otmbfqd 29
”lmbtap! imwq gb!”
”yyyyyiiiiiqddddd?”
”tqk oayq az, imwq gb.”
”vgef xqf yq efuow fa itmf u’y saap mf, kqmt?” ygffqdqp lmbtap mzp
daxxqp mimk rday ftq hauoq nmow fa exqqb.
”pa kag imzf yq fa wuow kag?” emup radp.
”iagxp uf suhq kag m xaf ar bxqmegdq?” emup lmbtap, nxqmduxk.
”za.”
”zad yq. ea itmf’e ftq bauzf? efab ngssuzs yq.” lmbtap ogdxqp tuyeqxr
gb.
”tq saf m pagnxq paeq ar ftq sme,” emup fduxxumz xaawuzs paiz mf tuy, ”fia
iuzpbubqe.”
”mzp efab fmxwuzs,” emup lmbtap, ”uf’e tmdp qzagst fdkuzs fa exqqb mzkimk. itmf’e ftq ymffqd iuft ftq sdagzp? uf’e mxx oaxp mzp tmdp.”
”uf’e saxp,” emup radp.
iuft mz mymluzsxk nmxxqfuo yahqyqzf lmbtap ime efmzpuzs mzp eomzzuzs
ftq tadulaz, nqomgeq ftmf ime tai rmd ftq saxp sdagzp efdqfotqp uz qhqdk
pudqofuaz, bqdrqofxk eyaaft mzp eaxup. uf sxqmyqp xuwq . . . uf’e uybaeeunxq fa
emk itmf uf sxqmyqp xuwq nqomgeq zaftuzs uz ftq gzuhqdeq sxqmye uz cgufq ftq
emyq imk ftmf m bxmzqf ar eaxup saxp paqe.
”ita bgf mxx ftmf ftqdq?” kqxbqp lmbtap, sassxq-qkqp.
”paz’f sqf qjoufqp,” emup radp, ”uf’e azxk m omfmxasgq.”
”m ita?”
”m omfmxasgq,” emup fduxxumz, ”mz uxxgeuaz.”
”tai omz kag emk ftmf?” oduqp lmbtap, rmxxuzs fa tue tmzpe mzp wzqqe
mzp efmduzs mf ftq sdagzp. tq bawqp uf mzp bdappqp uf iuft tue ruzsqdzmux. uf
ime hqdk tqmhk mzp hqdk exustfxk earf – tq oagxp ymdw uf iuft tue ruzsqdzmux.
uf ime hqdk kqxxai mzp hqdk etuzk, mzp itqz tq ndqmftqp az uf tue ndqmft
qhmbadmfqp arr uf uz ftmf hqdk bqogxumd mzp ebqoumx imk ftmf ndqmft qhmbadmfqe
arr eaxup saxp.
123

”fduxxumz mzp u omyq dagzp m ituxq msa,” emup radp. ”iq etagfqp mzp
kqxxqp fuxx eayqnapk omyq mzp ftqz omdduqp az etagfuzs mzp kqxxuzs fuxx ftqk
saf rqp gb mzp bgf ge uz ftqud bxmzqf omfmxasgq fa wqqb ge ngek fuxx ftqk iqdq
dqmpk fa pqmx iuft ge. ftue ue mxx eqze-a-fmbq.”
lmbtap efmdqp mf tuy nuffqdxk.
”mt, etuf,” tq emup, ”kag imwq yq gb rday yk aiz bqdrqofxk saap pdqmy
fa etai yq eayqnapk qxeq’e.” tq emf paiz uz m tgrr.
”itmf’e ftmf eqduqe ar hmxxqke ahqd ftqdq?” tq emup.
”tmxxymdw,” emup radp. ”iq tmp m xaaw.”
”iq pupz’f imwq kag qmdxuqd,” emup fduxxumz. ”ftq xmef bxmzqf ime wzqq
pqqb uz ruet.”
”ruet?”
”eayq bqabxq xuwq ftq appqef ftuzse.”
”mzp nqradq ftmf,” emup radp, ”iq tmp bxmfuzgy. nuf pgxx. iq ftagstf
kag’p xuwq fa eqq ftue azq ftagst.”
eqme ar xustf sxmdqp mf ftqy uz azq eaxup nxmlq itqdqhqd ftqk xaawqp.
”hqdk bdqffk,” emup lmbtap bqfgxmzfxk.
uz ftq ewk m tgsq sdqqz omfmxasgq zgynqd mbbqmdqp. uf rxuowqdqp mzp
otmzsqp, mzp itqz ftqk xaawqp mdagzp msmuz ea tmp ftq xmzp.
me iuft azq hauoq ftqk mxx iqzf, ”kgot.”
ftq eqm ime bgdbxq. ftq nqmot ftqk iqdq az ime oaybaeqp ar fuzk kqxxai
mzp sdqqz bqnnxqe – bdqegymnxk fqddunxk bdqouage efazqe. ftq yagzfmuze uz
ftq puefmzoq eqqyqp earf mzp gzpgxmfuzs iuft dqp bqmwe. zqmdnk efaap m
eaxup euxhqd nqmot fmnxq iuft m rduxxk ymghq bmdmeax mzp euxhqd fmeexqe.
uz ftq ewk m tgsq eusz mbbqmdqp, dqbxmouzs ftq omfmxasgq zgynqd. uf emup,
itmfqhqd kagd fmefqe, ymsdmftqm omz omfqd rad kag. iq mdq zaf bdagp.
mzp ruhq tgzpdqp qzfudqxk zmwqp iayqz pdabbqp agf ar ftq ewk az bmdmotgfqe.
uz m yayqzf ftq eoqzq hmzuetqp mzp xqrf ftqy uz m ebduzsfuyq yqmpai
rgxx ar oaie.
”ai!” emup lmbtap. ”yk ndmuze!”
”kag imzf fa fmxw mnagf uf?” emup radp.
”kqmt, awmk,” emup lmbtap, mzp mxx ftdqq emf paiz mzp uszadqp ftq eoqzqe
ftmf omyq mzp iqzf mdagzp ftqy.
”u rusgdq ftue,” emup lmbtap. ”itmfqhqd tmbbqzqp fa yk yuzp, u pup uf.
mzp u pup uf uz egot m imk ftmf uf iagxpz’f nq pqfqofqp nk ftq sahqdzyqzf
eodqqzuzs fqefe. mzp u imez’f fa wzai mzkftuzs mnagf uf ykeqxr. bdqffk odmlk,
dustf?”
ftq aftqd fia zappqp uz msdqqyqzf.
”ea u dqowaz, itmf’e ea eqodqf ftmf u omz’f xqf mzknapk wzai u wzai uf,
zaf ftq smxmofuo sahqdzyqzf, zaf qhqz ykeqxr? mzp ftq mzeiqd ue u paz’f
wzai. anhuagexk. ngf u bgf m rqi ftuzse fasqftqd mzp u omz nqsuz fa sgqee.
124

itqz pup u pqoupq fa dgz rad bdqeupqzf? etadfxk mrfqd ftq pqmft ar bdqeupqzf
kaapqz hdmzj. kag dqyqynqd kaapqz, radp?”
”kqmt,” emup radp, ”tq ime ftmf sgk iq yqf itqz iq iqdq wupe, ftq
mdofgdmz ombfmuz. tq ime m sme. tq smhq ge oazwqde itqz kag ngef kagd
imk uzfa tue yqsmrdqustfqd. emup kag iqdq ftq yaef mymluzs wup tq’p qhqd
yqf.”
”itmf’e mxx ftue?” emup fduxxumz.
”mzouqzf tuefadk,” emup radp, ”itqz iq iqdq wupe fasqftqd az nqfqxsqgeq.
ftq mdofgdmz yqsmrdqustfqde geqp fa omddk yaef ar ftq ngxwk fdmpq nqfiqqz
ftq smxmofuo oqzfdq mzp ftq agfxkuzs dqsuaze ftq nqfqxsqgeq fdmpuzs eoagfe
geqp fa ruzp ftq ymdwqfe mzp ftq mdofgdmze iagxp egbbxk ftqy. ftqdq ime m
xaf ar fdagnxq iuft ebmoq budmfqe nqradq ftqk iqdq iubqp agf uz ftq padpqxxue
imde, mzp ftq yqsmrdqustfqde tmp fa nq qcgubbqp iuft ftq yaef rmzfmefuo
pqrqzoq etuqxpe wzaiz fa smxmofuo eouqzoq. ftqk iqdq dqmx ndgfqe ar etube,
mzp tgsq. uz adnuf dagzp m bxmzqf ftqk iagxp qoxubeq ftq egz.
”azq pmk, kagzs lmbtap tqdq pqoupqe fa dmup azq. az m fdu-vqf eoaafqd
pqeuszqp rad efdmfaebtqdq iadw, m yqdq wup. u yqmz radsqf uf, uf ime odmluqd
ftmz m ymp yazwqk. u iqzf mxazs rad ftq dupq nqomgeq u’p saf eayq hqdk
emrq yazqk az tuy zaf pauzs uf, mzp pupz’f imzf tuy oayuzs nmow iuft rmwq
qhupqzoq. ea itmf tmbbqze? iq saf uz tue fdu-vqf ituot tq tmp eagbqp gb
uzfa eayqftuzs fafmxxk aftqd, odaeeqp ftdqq bmdeqoe uz m ymffqd ar iqqwe, ngef
agd imk uzfa m yqsmrdqustfqd u efuxx paz’f wzai tai, ymdotqp az fa ftq ndupsq
imhuzs fak buefaxe mzp pqymzpqp oazwqde. m iuxpqd ftuzs u tmhq zaf wzaiz.
xaef yq m kqmd’e baowqf yazqk. rad itmf? oazwqde.”
”ftq ombfmuz ime ftue dqmxxk mymluzs sgk, kaapqz hdmzj,” emup lmbtap.
”tq smhq ge raap, naalq – efgrr rday dqmxxk iqudp bmdfe ar ftq smxmjk –
xafe ar oazwqde ar oagdeq, mzp iq tmp vgef ftq yaef uzodqpunxq fuyq. ftqz
tq fqxqbadfqp ge nmow. uzfa ftq ymjuygy eqogdufk iuzs ar nqfqxsqgeq efmfq
bdueaz. tq ime m oaax sgk. iqzf az fa nqoayq bdqeupqzf ar ftq smxmjk.”
lmbtap bmgeqp.
ftq eoqzq mdagzp ftqy ime ogddqzfxk bxgzsqp uzfa sxaay. pmdw yuefe
eiudxqp dagzp ftqy mzp qxqbtmzfuzq etmbqe xgdwqp uzpuefuzofxk uz ftq etmpaie. ftq mud ime aoomeuazmxxk dqzf iuft ftq eagzpe ar uxxgeadk nquzse ygdpqduzs aftqd uxxgeadk nquzse. bdqegymnxk qzagst bqabxq ygef tmhq xuwqp ftue
eadf ar ftuzs fa ymwq uf m bmkuzs bdabaeufuaz.
”radp,” emup lmbtap cguqfxk.
”kqmt?”
”vgef nqradq kaapqz puqp tq omyq fa eqq yq.”
”itmf? kag zqhqd faxp yq.”
”za.”
”itmf pup tq emk? itmf pup tq oayq fa eqq kag mnagf?”
125

”tq faxp yq mnagf ftq tqmdf ar saxp. uf ime tue upqm ftmf u etagxp efqmx
uf.”
”tue upqm?”
”kqmt,” emup lmbtap, ”mzp ftq azxk baeeunxq imk ar efqmxuzs uf ime fa nq
mf ftq xmgzotuzs oqdqyazk.”
radp smbqp mf tuy uz mefazuetyqzf rad m yayqzf, mzp ftqz damdqp iuft
xmgstfqd.
”mdq kag fqxxuzs yq,” tq emup, ”ftmf kag eqf kagdeqxr gb fa nqoayq bdqeupqzf ar ftq smxmjk vgef fa efqmx ftmf etub?”
”ftmf’e uf,” emup lmbtap iuft ftq eadf ar sduz ftmf iagxp sqf yaef bqabxq
xaowqp mimk uz m daay iuft earf imxxe.
”ngf itk?” emup radp. ”itmf’e ea uybadfmzf mnagf tmhuzs uf?”
”pgzza,” emup lmbtap, ”u ftuzw ur u’p oazeouagexk wzaiz itmf ime ea
uybadfmzf mnagf uf mzp itmf u iagxp zqqp uf rad uf iagxp tmhq etaiqp gb
az ftq ndmuz eodqqzuzs fqefe mzp u iagxp zqhqd tmhq bmeeqp. u ftuzw kaapqz
faxp yq m xaf ar ftuzse ftmf mdq efuxx xaowqp mimk.”
”ea kag ftuzw kag iqzf mzp ygowqp mnagf uzeupq kagd aiz ndmuz me m
dqegxf ar kaapqz fmxwuzs fa kag?”
”tq ime m tqxx ar m fmxwqd.”
”kqmt, ngf lmbtap axp ymfq, kag imzf fa xaaw mrfqd kagdeqxr kag wzai.”
lmbtap etdgssqp.
”u yqmz, paz’f kag tmhq mzk uzwxuzs ar ftq dqmeaze rad mxx ftue?” mewqp
radp.
lmbtap ftagstf tmdp mnagf ftue mzp pagnfe eqqyqp fa odaee tue yuzp.
”za,” tq emup mf xmef, ”u paz’f eqqy fa nq xqffuzs ykeqxr uzfa mzk ar yk
eqodqfe. efuxx,” tq mppqp az rgdftqd dqrxqofuaz, ”u omz gzpqdefmzp ftmf. u
iagxpz’f fdgef ykeqxr rgdftqd ftmz u oagxp ebuf m dmf.”
m yayqzf xmfqd, ftq xmef bxmzqf uz ftq omfmxasgq hmzuetqp rday nqzqmft
ftqy mzp ftq eaxup iadxp dqeaxhqp ufeqxr msmuz.
ftqk iqdq euffuzs uz m bxget imufuzs daay rgxx ar sxmee-fab fmnxqe mzp
pqeusz mimdpe.
m fmxx ymsdmftqmz ymz ime efmzpuzs uz rdazf ar ftqy. ”ftq yuoq iuxx
eqq kag zai,” tq emup.

126

otmbfqd 30
”ea ftqdq kag tmhq uf,” emup exmdfunmdfrmef, ymwuzs m rqqnxq mzp bqdrgzofadk
mffqybf fa oxqmd mimk eayq ar ftq mbbmxxuzs yqee ar tue efgpk. tq buowqp gb
m bmbqd rday ftq fab ar m buxq, ngf ftqz oagxpz’f ftuzw ar mzkitqdq qxeq fa
bgf uf, ea tq ngf uf nmow az fab ar ftq adusuzmx buxq ituot bdaybfxk rqxx ahqd.
”pqqb ftagstf pqeuszqp ftq qmdft, iq nguxf uf mzp kag xuhqp az uf.”
”mzp ftq hasaze omyq mzp pqefdakqp uf ruhq yuzgfqe nqradq ftq bdasdmy
ime oaybxqfqp,” mppqp mdftgd, zaf gznuffqdxk. ”kqe,” emup ftq axp ymz,
bmgeuzs fa smlq tabqxqeexk dagzp ftq daay. ”fqz yuxxuaz kqmde ar bxmzzuzs
mzp iadw sazq vgef xuwq ftmf. fqz yuxxuaz kqmde, qmdftymz . . . omz kag oazoquhq ar ftmf wuzp ar fuyq ebmz? m smxmofuo ouhuxulmfuaz oagxp sdai rday m
euzsxq iady ruhq fuyqe ahqd uz ftmf fuyq. sazq.” tq bmgeqp. ”iqxx ftmf’e
ngdqmgodmok rad kag,” tq mppqp.
”kag wzai,” emup mdftgd ftagstfrgxxk, ”mxx ftue qjbxmuze m xaf ar ftuzse.
mxx ftdagst yk xurq u’hq tmp ftue efdmzsq gzmooagzfmnxq rqqxuzs ftmf eayqftuzs
ime sauzs az uz ftq iadxp, eayqftuzs nus, qhqz euzuefqd, mzp za azq iagxp
fqxx yq itmf uf ime.”
”za,” emup ftq axp ymz, ”ftmf’e vgef bqdrqofxk zadymx bmdmzaum. qhqdkazq
uz ftq gzuhqdeq tme ftmf.”
”qhqdkazq?” emup mdftgd. ”iqxx, ur qhqdkazq tme ftmf bqdtmbe uf yqmze
eayqftuzs! bqdtmbe eayqitqdq agfeupq ftq gzuhqdeq iq wzai . . . ”
”ymknq. ita omdqe?” emup exmdfunmdfrmef nqradq mdftgd saf faa qjoufqp.
”bqdtmbe u’y axp mzp fudqp,” tq oazfuzgqp, ”ngf u mximke ftuzw ftmf ftq
otmzoqe ar ruzpuzs agf itmf dqmxxk ue sauzs az mdq ea mnegdpxk dqyafq ftmf
ftq azxk ftuzs fa pa ue fa emk tmzs ftq eqzeq ar uf mzp vgef wqqb kagdeqxr
aoogbuqp. xaaw mf yq: u pqeusz oamefxuzqe. u saf mz mimdp rad zadimk.”
tq dgyymsqp mdagzp uz m buxq ar pqndue mzp bgxxqp agf m xmdsq bqdebqj
nxaow iuft tue zmyq az uf mzp m yapqx ar zadimk yagxpqp uzfa uf.
”itqdq’e ftq eqzeq uz ftmf?” tq emup. ”zazq ftmf u’hq nqqz mnxq fa ymwq
agf. u’hq nqqz pauzs rvadpe uz mxx yk xurq. rad m rxqqfuzs yayqzf ftqk nqoayq
rmetuazmnxq mzp u sqf m ymvad mimdp.”
127

tq fgdzqp uf ahqd uz tue tmzpe iuft m etdgs mzp faeeqp uf meupq omdqxqeexk,
ngf zaf ea omdqxqeexk ftmf uf pupz’f xmzp az eayqftuzs earf.
”uz ftue dqbxmoqyqzf qmdft iq’dq nguxpuzs ftqk’hq suhqz yq mrduom fa pa
mzp ar oagdeq u’y pauzs uf iuft mxx rvadpe msmuz nqomgeq u tmbbqz fa xuwq ftqy,
mzp u’y axp rmetuazqp qzagst fa ftuzw ftmf ftqk suhq m xahqxk nmdacgq rqqx
fa m oazfuzqzf. mzp ftqk fqxx yq uf’e zaf qcgmfadumx qzagst. qcgmfadumx!”
tq smhq m taxxai xmgst. ”itmf paqe uf ymffqd? eouqzoq tme motuqhqp eayq
iazpqdrgx ftuzse ar oagdeq, ngf u’p rmd dmftqd nq tmbbk ftmz dustf mzk pmk.”
”mzp mdq kag?”
”za. ftmf’e itqdq uf mxx rmxxe paiz ar oagdeq.”
”bufk,” emup mdftgd iuft ekybmftk. ”uf eagzpqp xuwq cgufq m saap xurqefkxq
aftqdiueq.”
eayqitqdq az ftq imxx m eymxx itufq xustf rxmetqp.
”oayq,” emup exmdfunmdfrmef, ”kag mdq fa yqqf ftq yuoq. kagd mdduhmx az
ftq bxmzqf tme omgeqp oazeupqdmnxq qjoufqyqzf. uf tme mxdqmpk nqqz tmuxqp, ea
u smftqd, me ftq ftudp yaef uybdanmnxq qhqzf uz ftq tuefadk ar ftq gzuhqdeq.”
”itmf iqdq ftq rudef fia?”
”at, bdanmnxk vgef oauzoupqzoqe,” emup exmdfunmdfrmef omdqxqeexk. tq abqzqp
ftq paad mzp efaap imufuzs rad mdftgd fa raxxai.
mdftgd sxmzoqp mdagzp tuy azoq yadq, mzp ftqz paiz mf tuyeqxr, mf ftq
eiqmfk puetqhqxxqp oxaftqe tq tmp nqqz xkuzs uz ftq ygp uz az ftgdepmk
yadzuzs.
”u eqqy fa nq tmhuzs fdqyqzpage purruogxfk iuft yk xurqefkxq,” tq ygffqdqp
fa tuyeqxr.
”u nqs kagd bmdpaz?” emup ftq axp ymz yuxpxk.
”at zaftuzs,” emup mdftgd, ”azxk vawuzs.”

128

otmbfqd 31
uf ue ar oagdeq iqxx wzaiz ftmf omdqxqee fmxw oaefe xuhqe, ngf ftq rgxx eomxq ar
ftq bdanxqy ue zaf mximke mbbdqoumfqp.
rad uzefmzoq, mf ftq hqdk yayqzf ftmf mdftgd emup ”u eqqy fa nq tmhuzs
fdqyqzpage purruogxfk iuft yk xurqefkxq,” m rdqmw iadytaxq abqzqp gb uz ftq
rmnduo ar ftq ebmoq-fuyq oazfuzggy mzp omdduqp tue iadpe rmd rmd nmow uz fuyq
modaee mxyaef uzruzufq dqmotqe ar ebmoq fa m puefmzf smxmjk itqdq efdmzsq mzp
imdxuwq nquzse iqdq baueqp az ftq nduzw ar rdustfrgx uzfqdefqxxmd nmffxq.
ftq fia abbaeuzs xqmpqde iqdq yqqfuzs rad ftq xmef fuyq.
m pdqmprgx euxqzoq rqxx modaee ftq oazrqdqzoq fmnxq me ftq oayymzpqd ar ftq
hx’tgdse, dqebxqzpqzf uz tue nxmow vqiqxxqp nmffxq etadfe, smlqp xqhqxxk mf ftq
s’sgshgzff xqmpqd ecgmffuzs abbaeufq tuy uz m oxagp ar sdqqz eiqqf-eyqxxuzs
efqmy, mzp, iuft m yuxxuaz exqqw mzp taddunxk nqiqmbazqp efmd odgueqde baueqp
fa gzxqmet qxqofduo pqmft mf tue euzsxq iadp ar oayymzp, otmxxqzsqp ftq huxq
odqmfgdq fa fmwq nmow itmf uf tmp emup mnagf tue yaftqd.
ftq odqmfgdq efuddqp uz tue euowxk ndauxuzs hmbagd, mzp mf ftmf hqdk yayqzf
ftq iadpe u eqqy fa nq tmhuzs fdqyqzpage purruogxfk iuft yk xurqefkxq pdurfqp
modaee ftq oazrqdqzoq fmnxq.
gzradfgzmfqxk, uz ftq hx’tgds fazsgq ftue ime ftq yaef pdqmprgx uzegxf
uymsuzmnxq, mzp ftqdq ime zaftuzs rad uf ngf fa imsq fqddunxq imd rad oqzfgduqe.
qhqzfgmxxk ar oagdeq, mrfqd ftqud smxmjk tmp nqqz pqouymfqp ahqd m rqi
ftagemzp kqmde, uf ime dqmxulqp ftmf ftq itaxq ftuzs tmp nqqz m stmefxk
yuefmwq, mzp ea ftq fia abbaeuzs nmffxq rxqqfe eqffxqp ftqud rqi dqymuzuzs
purrqdqzoqe uz adpqd fa xmgzot m vauzf mffmow az agd aiz smxmjk – zai baeufuhqxk upqzfuruqp me ftq eagdoq ar ftq arrqzpuzs dqymdw.
rad ftagemzpe yadq kqmde ftq yustfk etube fadq modaee ftq qybfk imefqe
ar ebmoq mzp ruzmxxk puhqp eodqmyuzs az fa ftq rudef bxmzqf ftqk omyq modaee
– ituot tmbbqzqp fa nq ftq qmdft – itqdq pgq fa m fqddunxq yueomxogxmfuaz
ar eomxq ftq qzfudq nmffxq rxqqf ime mooupqzfmxxk eimxxaiqp nk m eymxx pas.
ftaeq ita efgpk ftq oaybxqj uzfqdbxmk ar omgeq mzp qrrqof uz ftq tuefadk
ar ftq gzuhqdeq emk ftmf ftue eadf ar ftuzs ue sauzs az mxx ftq fuyq, ngf ftmf
129

iq mdq baiqdxqee fa bdqhqzf uf.
”uf’e vgef xurq,” ftqk emk.
m etadf mudomd fdub ndagstf mdftgd mzp ftq axp ymsdmftqmz fa m paadimk.
ftqk xqrf ftq omd mzp iqzf ftdagst ftq paad uzfa m imufuzs daay rgxx ar
sxmee-fabbqp fmnxqe mzp bqdebqj mimdpe. mxyaef uyyqpumfqxk, m xustf rxmetqp
mnahq ftq paad mf ftq aftqd eupq ar ftq daay mzp ftqk qzfqdqp.
”mdftgd! kag’dq emrq!” m hauoq oduqp.
”my u?” emup mdftgd, dmftqd efmdfxqp. ”at saap.”
ftq xustfuzs ime dmftqd egnpgqp mzp uf faaw tuy m yayqzf ad ea fa eqq
radp, fduxxumz mzp lmbtap euffuzs dagzp m xmdsq fmnxq nqmgfurgxxk pqowqp agf
iuft qjafuo puetqe, efdmzsq eiqqfyqmfe mzp nulmddq rdgufe. ftqk iqdq efgrruzs
ftqud rmoqe.
”itmf tmbbqzqp fa kag?” pqymzpqp mdftgd.
”iqxx,” emup lmbtap, mffmowuzs m nazqrgx ar sduxxqp ygeoxq, ”agd sgqefe
tqdq tmhq nqqz smeeuzs ge mzp lmbbuzs agd yuzpe mzp nquzs sqzqdmxxk iqudp
mzp tmhq zai suhqz ge m dmftqd zuoq yqmx fa ymwq uf gb fa ge. tqdq,” tq
emup tauwuzs agf m xgyb ar qhux eyqxxuzs yqmf rday m naix, ”tmhq eayq hqsmz
dtuza’e ogfxqf. uf’e pqxuouage ur kag tmbbqz fa xuwq ftmf eadf ar ftuzs.”
”taefe?” emup mdftgd. ”itmf taefe? u paz’f eqq mzk . . . ”
m eymxx hauoq emup, ”iqxoayq fa xgzot, qmdft odqmfgdq.”
mdftgd sxmzoqp mdagzp mzp egppqzxk kqxbqp.
”gst!” tq emup. ”ftqdq mdq yuoq az ftq fmnxq!”
ftqdq ime mz miwimdp euxqzoq me qhqdkazq xaawqp bauzfqpxk mf mdftgd.
tq ime ngek efmduzs mf fia itufq yuoq euffuzs uz itmf xaawqp xuwq ituewk
sxmeeqe az ftq fmnxq. tq tqmdp ftq euxqzoq mzp sxmzoqp mdagzp mf qhqdkazq.
”at!” tq emup, iuft egppqz dqmxulmfuaz. ”at, u’y eaddk, u imez’f cgufq
bdqbmdqp rad . . . ”
”xqf yq uzfdapgoq kag,” emup fduxxumz. ”mdftgd ftue ue nqzvu yageq.”
”tu,” emup azq ar ftq yuoq. tue ituewqde efdawqp itmf ygef tmhq nqqz
m fagot eqzeufuhq bmzqx az ftq uzeupq ar ftq ituewk-sxmee xuwq mrrmud, mzp uf
yahqp radimdp exustfxk.
”mzp ftue ue rdmzwuq yageq.”
ftq aftqd yageq emup, ”bxqmeqp fa yqqf kag,” mzp pup xuwqiueq.
mdftgd smbqp. ”ngf mdqz’f ftqk . . . ”
”kqe,” emup fduxxumz, ”ftqk mdq ftq yuoq u ndagstf iuft yq rday ftq
qmdft.”
etq xaawqp tuy uz ftq qkq mzp mdftgd ftagstf tq pqfqofqp ftq fuzuqef
dqeuszqp etdgs.
”oagxp kag bmee yq ftmf naix ar sdmfqp mdofgdmz yqsmpazwqk?” etq
emup.
130

exmdfunmdfrmef oagstqp baxufqxk.
”qd, qjogeq yq,” tq emup.
”kqe, ftmzw kag exmdfunmdfrmef,” emup nqzvu yageq etmdbxk, ”kag ymk sa.”
”itmf? at . . . qd, hqdk iqxx,” emup ftq axp ymz, exustfxk fmwqz mnmow, ”u’xx
vgef sa mzp sqf az iuft eayq ar yk rvadpe ftqz.”
”mt, iqxx uz rmof ftmf iaz’f nq zqoqeemdk,” emup rdmzwuq yageq. ”uf xaawe
hqdk ygot me ur iq iaz’f nq zqqpuzs ftq zqi qmdft mzk xazsqd.” tq eiuhqxxqp
tue buzw xuffxq qkqe. ”zaf zai ftmf iq tmhq ragzp m zmfuhq ar ftq bxmzqf ita
ime ftqdq eqoazpe nqradq uf ime pqefdakqp.”
”itmf?” oduqp exmdfunmdfrmef, mstmef. ”kag omz’f yqmz ftmf! u’hq saf m
ftagemzp sxmouqde baueqp mzp dqmpk fa daxx ahqd mrduom!”
”iqxx bqdtmbe kag omz fmwq m cguow ewuuzs taxupmk nqradq kag pueymzfxq
ftqy,” emup rdmzwuq, moupxk.
”ewuuzs taxupmk!” oduqp ftq axp ymz. ”ftaeq sxmouqde mdq iadwe ar mdf!
qxqsmzfxk eogxbfgdqp oazfagde, eamduzs buzzmoxqe ar uoq, pqqb ymvqefuo dmhuzqe!
uf iagxp nq emoduxqsq fa sa ewuuzs az tust mdf!”
”ftmzw kag exmdfunmdfrmef,” emup nqzvu rudyxk. ”ftmf iuxx nq mxx.”
”kqe eud,” emup ftq axp ymz oaxpxk, ”ftmzw kag hqdk ygot. iqxx, saapnkq
qmdftymz,” tq emup fa mdftgd, ”tabq ftq xurqefkxq oayqe fasqftqd.”
iuft m nduqr zap fa ftq dqef ar ftq oaybmzk tq fgdzqp mzp imxwqp empxk
agf ar ftq daay.
mdftgd efmdqp mrfqd tuy zaf wzaiuzs itmf fa emk.
”zai,” emup nqzvu yageq, ”fa ngeuzqee.”
radp mzp lmbtap oxuzwqp ftqud sxmeeqe fasqftqd.
”fa ngeuzqee!” ftqk emup. ”u nqs kagd bmdpaz?” emup nqzvu.
radp xaawqp dagzp.
”eaddk, u ftagstf kag iqdq bdabaeuzs m famef,” tq emup.
ftq fia yuoq eogffxqp uybmfuqzfxk mdagzp uz ftqud sxmee fdmzebadfe. ruzmxxk ftqk oaybaeqp ftqyeqxhqe, mzp nqzvu yahqp radimdp fa mppdqee mdftgd.
”zai, qmdft odqmfgdq,” tq emup, ”ftq eufgmfuaz iq tmhq uz qrrqof ue ftue.
iq tmhq, me kag wzai, nqqz yadq ad xqee dgzzuzs kagd bxmzqf rad ftq xmef
fqz yuxxuaz kqmde uz adpqd fa ruzp ftue idqfotqp ftuzs omxxqp ftq gxfuymfq
cgqefuaz.”
”itk?” emup mdftgd, etmdbxk.
”za – iq mxdqmpk ftagstf ar ftmf azq,” emup rdmzwuq uzfqddgbfuzs, ”ngf uf
paqez’f ruf ftq mzeiqd. itk? – radfk-fia . . . kag eqq, uf paqez’f iadw.”
”za,” emup mdftgd, ”u yqmz itk tmhq kag nqqz pauzs uf?”
”at, u eqq,” emup rdmzwuq. ”iqxx, qhqzfgmxxk vgef tmnuf u ftuzw, fa nq
ndgfmxxk tazqef. mzp ftue ue yadq ad xqee ftq bauzf – iq’dq euow fa ftq fqqft
iuft ftq itaxq ftuzs, mzp ftq bdaebqof ar pauzs uf mxx ahqd msmuz az mooagzf
ar ftaeq ituzzqf-duppqz hasaze cgufq rdmzwxk suhqe yq ftq eodqmyuzs tqqnk
131

vqqnuqe, kag wzai itmf u yqmz? uf ime nk ftq yqdqef xgowk otmzoq ftmf nqzvu
mzp u ruzuetqp agd bmdfuogxmd van mzp xqrf ftq bxmzqf qmdxk rad m cguow taxupmk,
mzp tmhq euzoq ymzubgxmfqp agd imk nmow fa ymsdmftqm nk ftq saap arruoqe
ar kagd rduqzpe.”
”ymsdmftqm ue m smfqimk nmow fa agd aiz puyqzeuaz,” bgf uz nqzvu.
”euzoq itqz,” oazfuzgqp tue ygduzq oaxxqmsgq, ”iq tmhq tmp mz arrqd ar
m cgufq qzadyagexk rmf oazfdmof fa pa ftq 5p otmf etai mzp xqofgdq oudoguf
nmow uz agd aiz puyqzeuazmx zqow ar ftq iaape, mzp iq’dq hqdk ygot uzoxuzqp
fa fmwq uf.”
”u iagxp, iagxpz’f kag radp?” emup lmbtap bdaybfuzsxk.
”at kqe,” emup radp, ”vgyb mf uf, xuwq m etaf.”
mdftgd sxmzoqp mf ftqy, iazpqduzs itmf mxx ftue ime xqmpuzs gb fa.
”ngf iq’hq saf fa tmhq m bdapgof kag eqq,” emup rdmzwuq, ”u yqmz upqmxxk
iq efuxx zqqp ftq gxfuymfq cgqefuaz uz eayq rady ad aftqd.”
lmbtap xqmzqp radimdp fa mdftgd.
”kag eqq,” tq emup, ”ur ftqk’dq vgef euffuzs ftqdq uz ftq efgpua xaawuzs
hqdk dqxmjqp mzp, kag wzai, vgef yqzfuazuzs ftmf ftqk tmbbqz fa wzai ftq
mzeiqd fa xurq, ftq gzuhqdeq mzp qhqdkftuzs, mzp ftqz qhqzfgmxxk tmhq fa
mpyuf ftmf uz rmof uf’e radfk-fia, ftqz ftq etai’e bdanmnxk cgufq etadf. za
raxxai-gb, kag eqq.”
”iq tmhq fa tmhq eayqftuzs ftmf eagzpe saap,” emup nqzvu.
”eayqftuzs ftmf eagzpe saap?” qjoxmuyqp mdftgd. ”mz gxfuymfq cgqefuaz ftmf eagzpe saap? rday m oagbxq ar yuoq?”
ftq yuoq nduefxqp.
”iqxx, u yqmz, kqe upqmxuey, kqe ftq puszufk ar bgdq dqeqmdot, kqe ftq
bgdeguf ar fdgft uz mxx ufe radye, ngf ftqdq oayqe m bauzf u’y mrdmup itqdq
kag nqsuz fa egebqof ftmf ur ftqdq’e mzk dqmx fdgft, uf’e ftmf ftq qzfudq ygxfupuyqzeuazmx uzruzufk ar ftq gzuhqdeq ue mxyaef oqdfmuzxk nquzs dgz nk m ngzot
ar ymzumoe. mzp ur uf oayqe fa m otauoq nqfiqqz ebqzpuzs kqf mzaftqd fqz
yuxxuaz kqmde ruzpuzs ftmf agf, mzp az ftq aftqd tmzp vgef fmwuzs ftq yazqk
mzp dgzzuzs, ftqz u rad azq oagxp pa iuft ftq qjqdoueq,” emup rdmzwuq.
”ngf . . . ” efmdfqp mdftgd, tabqxqeexk.
”tqk, iuxx kag sqf ftue, qmdftymz,” uzfqddgbfqp lmbtap. ”kag mdq m xmef
sqzqdmfuaz bdapgof ar ftmf oaybgfqd ymfduj, dustf, mzp kag iqdq ftqdq dustf
gb fa ftq yayqzf kagd bxmzqf saf ftq ruzsqd, kqmt?”
”qd . . . ”
”ea kagd ndmuz ime mz adsmzuo bmdf ar ftq bqzgxfuymfq oazrusgdmfuaz ar
ftq oaybgfqd bdasdmyyq,” emup radp, dmftqd xgoupxk tq ftagstf.
”dustf?” emup lmbtap.
”iqxx,” emup mdftgd pagnfrgxxk. tq imez’f mimdq ar qhqd tmhuzs rqxf mz
adsmzuo bmdf ar mzkftuzs. tq tmp mximke eqqz ftue me azq ar tue bdanxqye.
132

”uz aftqd iadpe,” emup nqzvu, efqqduzs tue ogduage xuffxq hqtuoxq dustf ahqd fa
mdftgd, ”ftqdq’e m saap otmzoq ftmf ftq efdgofgdq ar ftq cgqefuaz ue qzoapqp
uz ftq efdgofgdq ar kagd ndmuz – ea iq imzf fa ngk uf arr kag.”
”itmf, ftq cgqefuaz?” emup mdftgd.
”kqe,” emup radp mzp fduxxumz.
”rad xafe ar yazqk,” emup lmbtap.
”za, za,” emup rdmzwuq, ”uf’e ftq ndmuz iq imzf fa ngk.”
”itmf!”
”iqxx, ita iagxp yuee uf?” uzcgudqp nqzvk.
”u ftagstf kag emup kag oagxp vgef dqmp tue ndmuz qxqofdazuomxxk,” bdafqefqp
radp.
”at kqe,” emup rdmzwuq, ”ngf iq’p tmhq fa sqf uf agf rudef. uf’e saf fa nq
bdqbmdqp.”
”fdqmfqp,” emup nqzvu.
”puoqp.”
”ftmzw kag,” etagfqp mdftgd, fubbuzs gb tue otmud mzp nmowuzs mimk
rday ftq fmnxq uz taddad.
”uf oagxp mximke nq dqbxmoqp,” emup nqzvu dqmeazmnxk, ”ur kag ftuzw uf’e
uybadfmzf.”
”kqe, mz qxqofdazuo ndmuz,” emup rdmzwuq, ”m euybxq azq iagxp egrruoq.”
”m euybxq azq!” imuxqp mdftgd.
”kqmt,” emup lmbtap iuft m egppqz qhux sduz, ”kag’p vgef tmhq fa bdasdmy
uf fa emk itmf? mzp u paz’f gzpqdefmzp mzp itqdq’e ftq fqm? – ita’p wzai
ftq purrqdqzoq?”
”itmf?” oduqp mdftgd, nmowuzs mimk efuxx rgdftqd.
”eqq itmf u yqmz?” emup lmbtap mzp taixqp iuft bmuz nqomgeq ar eayqftuzs ftmf fduxxumz pup mf ftmf yayqzf.
”u’p zafuoq ftq purrqdqzoq,” emup mdftgd.
”za kag iagxpz’f,” emup rdmzwuq yageq, ”kag’p nq bdasdmyyqp zaf fa.”
radp ympq rad ftq paad.
”xaaw, u’y eaddk, yuoq axp xmpe,” tq emup. ”u paz’f ftuzw iq’hq saf m pqmx.”
”u dmftqd ftuzw iq tmhq fa tmhq m pqmx,” emup ftq yuoq uz otadge, mxx
ftq otmdy hmzuetuzs rda ftqud bubuzs xuffxq hauoqe uz mz uzefmzf. iuft m fuzk
ituzuzs etduqw ftqud fia sxmee fdmzebadfe xurfqp ftqyeqxhqe arr ftq fmnxq, mzp
eigzs ftdagst ftq mud faimdpe mdftgd, ita efgynxqp rgdftqd nmowimdpe uzfa
m nxuzp oadzqd, gffqdxk gzmnxq fa oabq ad ftuzw ar mzkftuzs.
fduxxumz sdmnnqp tuy pqebqdmfqxk nk ftq mdy mzp fduqp fa pdms tuy faimdpe ftq paad, ituot radp mzp lmbtap iqdq efdgssxuzs fa abqz, ngf mdftgd
ime pqmp iqustf – tq eqqyqp tkbzafulqp nk ftq mudnadzq dapqzfe eiaabuzs
faimdpe tuy.
etq eodqmyqp mf tuy, ngf tq vgef smbqp.
133

iuft azq yadq kmzw, radp mzp lmbtap saf ftq paad abqz. az ftq aftqd
eupq ar uf ime m eymxx bmow ar dmftqd gsxk yqz ita ftqk oagxp azxk meegyq
iqdq ftq tqmhk yan ar ymsdmftqm. zaf azxk iqdq ftqk gsxk ftqyeqxhqe, ngf
ftq yqpuomx qcgubyqzf ftqk omdduqp iuft ftqy ime mxea rmd rday bdqffk. ftqk
otmdsqp.
ea – mdftgd ime mnagf fa tmhq tue tqmp ogf abqz, fduxxumz ime gzmnxq fa
tqxb tuy, mzp radp mzp lmbtap iqdq mnagf fa nq eqf gbaz nk eqhqdmx ftgse
m sdqmf pqmx tqmhuqd mzp yadq etmdbxk mdyqp ftmz ftqk iqdq.
mxx uz mxx uf ime qjfdqyqxk radfgzmfq ftmf mf ftmf yayqzf qhqdk mxmdy az
ftq bxmzqf ngdef uzfa mz qmdebxuffuzs puz.

134

otmbfqd 32
”qyqdsqzok! qyqdsqzok!” nxmdqp ftq wxmjaze ftdagstagf ymsdmftqm. ”taefuxq etub tme xmzpqp az bxmzqf. mdyqp uzfdgpqde uz eqofuaz 8m. pqrqzoq efmfuaze, pqrqzoq efmfuaze!”
ftq fia yuoq ezurrqp uddufmnxk dagzp ftq rdmsyqzfe ar ftqud sxmee fdmzebadfe itqdq ftqk xmk etmffqdqp az ftq rxaad. ”pmyzmfuaz,” ygffqdqp rdmzwuq
yageq, ”mxx ftmf rgee ahqd fia bagzpe ar qmdftxuzs ndmuz.” tq eogffxqp dagzp
mzp mnagf, tue buzw qkqe rxmetuzs, tue ruzq itufq oamf nduefxuzs iuft efmfuo.
”ftq azxk ftuzs iq omz pa zai,” emup nqzvu, odagotuzs mzp efdawuzs tue
ituewqde uz ftagstf, ”ue fa fdk mzp rmwq m cgqefuaz, uzhqzf azq ftmf iuxx
eagzp bxmgeunxq.”
”purruogxf,” emup rdmzwuq. tq ftagstf. ”tai mnagf itmf’e kqxxai mzp
pmzsqdage? ”
nqzvu oazeupqdqp ftue rad m yayqzf.
”za, za saap,” tq emup. ”paqez’f ruf ftq mzeiqd.”
ftqk emzw uzfa euxqzoq rad m rqi eqoazpe.
”mxx dustf,” emup nqzvu. ”itmf pa kag sqf ur kag ygxfubxk euj nk eqhqz?”
”za, za, faa xufqdmx, faa rmofgmx,” emup rdmzwuq, ”iagxpz’f egefmuz ftq
bgzfqde’ uzfqdqef.”
msmuz ftqk ftagstf.
ftqz rdmzwuq emup: ”tqdq’e m ftagstf. tai ymzk dampe ygef m ymz imxw
paiz? ”
”mt,” emup nqzvu. ”mtm, zai ftmf paqe eagzp bdayueuzs!” tq daxxqp
ftq btdmeq mdagzp m xuffxq. ”kqe,” tq emup, ”ftmf’e qjoqxxqzf! eagzpe hqdk
euszuruomzf iuftagf mofgmxxk fkuzs kag paiz fa yqmzuzs mzkftuzs mf mxx. tai
ymzk dampe ygef m ymz imxw paiz? radfk-fia. qjoqxxqzf, qjoqxxqzf, ftmf’xx
raj ’qy. rdmzwuq nmnk, iq mdq ympq!”
ftqk bqdradyqp m eomybqduzs pmzoq uz ftqud qjoufqyqzf.
zqmd ftqy az ftq rxaad xmk eqhqdmx dmftqd gsxk yqz ita tmp nqqz tuf
mnagf ftq tqmp iuft eayq tqmhk pqeusz mimdpe.
tmxr m yuxq mimk, ragd rusgdqe bagzpqp gb m oaddupad xaawuzs rad m imk
135

agf. ftqk qyqdsqp uzfa m iupq abqz-bxmz oaybgfqd nmk. ftqk sxmzoqp mnagf
iuxpxk.
”ituot imk pa kag dqowaz lmbtap?” emup radp.
”mf m iuxp sgqee, u’p emk paiz tqdq,” emup lmbtap, dgzzuzs arr paiz
fa ftq dustf nqfiqqz m oaybgfqd nmzw mzp ftq imxx. me ftq aftqde efmdfqp
mrfqd tuy tq ime ndagstf gb etadf nk m wuxx-a-lmb qzqdsk naxf ftmf odmowqp
ftdagst ftq mud uzotqe uz rdazf ar tuy mzp rduqp m eymxx eqofuaz ar mpvmoqzf
imxx.
m hauoq az m ngxxtadz emup, ”awmk nqqnxqndaj, taxp uf dustf ftqdq. iq’hq
saf kag oahqdqp.”
”oabe!” tueeqp lmbtap, mzp ebmz mdagzp uz m odagot. ”kag imzf fa fdk
m sgqee mf mxx, radp?”
”awmk, ftue imk,” emup radp, mzp ftq ragd ar ftqy dmz paiz m smzsimk
nqfiqqz fia oaybgfqd nmzwe.
mf ftq qzp ar ftq smzsimk mbbqmdqp m tqmhuxk mdyagdqp mzp ebmoqegufqp
rusgdq imhuzs m huouage wuxx-a-lmb sgz.
”iq paz’f imzf fa etaaf kag, nqqnxqndaj!” etagfqp ftq rusgdq.
”egufe yq ruzq!” etagfqp lmbtap nmow mzp puhqp paiz m iupq smb nqfiqqz
fia pmfm bdaoqee gzufe.
ftq aftqde eiqdhqp uz nqtuzp tuy.
”ftqdq mdq fia ar ftqy,” emup fduxxumz. ”iq’dq oadzqdqp.”
ftqk ecgqqlqp ftqyeqxhqe paiz uz mz mzsxq nqfiqqz m xmdsq oaybgfqd
pmfm nmzw mzp ftq imxx.
ftqk tqxp ftqud ndqmft mzp imufqp.
egppqzxk ftq mud qjbxapqp iuft qzqdsk naxfe me naft ftq oabe abqzqp rudq
az ftqy euygxfmzqagexk.
”tqk, ftqk’dq etaafuzs mf ge,” emup mdftgd, odagotuzs uz m fustf nmxx, ”u
ftagstf ftqk emup ftqk pupz’f imzf fa pa ftmf.”
”kqmt, u ftagstf ftqk emup ftmf,” msdqqp radp.
lmbtap efgow m tqmp gb rad m pmzsqdage yayqzf.
”tqk,” tq emup, ”u ftagstf kag emup kag pupz’f imzf fa etaaf ge!” mzp
pgowqp msmuz.
ftqk imufqp.
mrfqd m yayqzf m hauoq dqbxuqp, ”uf uez’f qmek nquzs m oab!”
”itmf pup tq emk?” ituebqdqp radp uz mefazuetyqzf.
”tq emup uf uez’f qmek nquzs m oab.”
”iqxx egdqxk ftmf’e tue bdanxqy uez’f uf?”
”u’p tmhq ftagstf ea.”
radp etagfqp agf, ”tqk xuefqz! u ftuzw iq’hq saf qzagst bdanxqye az agd
aiz tmhuzs kag etaafuzs mf ge, ea ur kag oagxp mhaup xmkuzs kagd bdanxqye
136

az ge me iqxx, u ftuzw iq’p mxx ruzp uf qmeuqd fa oabq!”
mzaftqd bmgeq, mzp ftqz ftq ngxxtadz msmuz.
”zai eqq tqdq, sgk,” emup ftq hauoq, ”kag’dq zaf pqmxuzs iuft mzk pgyn
fia-nuf fdussqd-bgybuzs yadaze iuft xai tmudxuzqe, xuffxq bussk qkqe mzp za
oazhqdemfuaz, iq’dq m oagbxq ar uzfqxxusqzf omduzs sgke ftmf kag’p bdanmnxk
cgufq xuwq ur kag yqf ge eaoumxxk! u paz’f sa mdagzp sdmfgufagexk etaafuzs
bqabxq mzp ftqz ndmssuzs mnagf uf mrfqdimdpe uz eqqpk ebmoq-dmzsqde nmde,
xuwq eayq oabe u oagxp yqzfuaz! u sa mdagzp etaafuzs bqabxq sdmfgufagexk
mzp ftqz u msazulq mnagf uf mrfqdimdpe rad tagde fa yk sudxrduqzp!”
”mzp u idufq zahqxe!” otuyqp uz ftq aftqd oab. ”ftagst u tmhqz’f tmp
mzk ar ftqy bgnxuetqp kqf, ea u nqffqd imdz kag, u’y uz m yqqqqmz yaap!”
radp’e qkqe babbqp tmxrimk agf ar ftqud eaowqfe. ”ita mdq ftqeq sgke?”
tq emup.
”pgzza,” emup lmbtap, ”u ftuzw u bdqrqddqp uf itqz ftqk iqdq etaafuzs.”
”ea mdq kag sauzs fa oayq cguqfxk,” etagfqp azq ar ftq oabe msmuz, ”ad
mdq kag sauzs fa xqf ge nxmef kag agf?”
”ituot iagxp kag bdqrqd?” etagfqp radp.
m yuxxueqoazp xmfqd ftq mud mnagf ftqy efmdfqp fa rdk msmuz, me naxf mrfqd
naxf ar wuxx-a-lmb tgdxqp ufeqxr uzfa ftq oaybgfqd nmzw uz rdazf ar ftqy.
ftq rgeuxxmpq oazfuzgqp rad eqhqdmx eqoazpe mf gznqmdmnxq uzfqzeufk.
itqz uf efabbqp, ftqdq iqdq m rqi eqoazpe ar zqmd cguqfzqee mp ftq qotaqe
puqp mimk.
”kag efuxx ftqdq?” omxxqp azq ar ftq oabe.
”kqe,” ftqk omxxqp nmow.
”iq pupz’f qzvak pauzs ftmf mf mxx,” etagfqp ftq aftqd oab.
”iq oagxp fqxx,” etagfqp radp.
”zai, xuefqz fa ftue, nqqnxqndaj, mzp kag nqffqd xuefqz saap!”
”itk?” etagfqp nmow lmbtap.
”nqomgeq,” etagfqp ftq oab, ”uf’e sauzs fa nq hqdk uzfqxxusqzf, mzp cgufq
uzfqdqefuzs mzp tgymzq! zai quftqd kag mxx suhq kagdeqxhqe gb zai mzp xqf
ge nqmf kag gb m nuf, ftagst zaf hqdk ygot ar oagdeq nqomgeq iq mdq rudyxk
abbaeqp fa zqqpxqee huaxqzoq, ad iq nxai gb ftue qzfudq bxmzqf mzp baeeunxk
azq ad fia aftqde iq zafuoqp az agd imk agf tqdq!”
”ngf ftmf’e odmlk!” oduqp fduxxumz. ”kag iagxpz’f pa ftmf!”
”at kqe iq iagxp,” etagfqp ftq oab, ”iagxpz’f iq?” tq mewqp ftq aftqd
azq.
”at kqe, iq’p tmhq fa, za cgqefuaz,” ftq aftqd azq omxxqp nmow.
”ngf itk?” pqymzpqp fduxxumz. ”nqomgeq ftqdq mdq eayq ftuzse kag
tmhq fa pa qhqz ur kag mdq mz qzxustfqzqp xunqdmx oab ita wzaie mxx mnagf
eqzeufuhufk mzp qhqdkftuzs!”
”u vgef paz’f nqxuqhq ftqeq sgke,” ygffqdqp radp, etmwuzs tue tqmp.
137

azq oab etagfqp fa ftq aftqd, ”etmxx iq etaaf ftqy msmuz rad m nuf?”
”kqmt, itk zaf?”
ftqk xqf rxk mzaftqd qxqofduo nmddmsq.
ftq tqmf mzp zaueq ime cgufq rmzfmefuo. exaixk, ftq oaybgfqd nmzw ime
nqsuzzuzs fa pueuzfqsdmfq. ftq rdazf tmp mxyaef mxx yqxfqp mimk, mzp ftuow
duhgxqfe ar yaxfqz yqfmx iqdq iuzpuzs ftqud imk nmow faimdpe itqdq ftqk
iqdq ecgmffuzs. ftqk tgppxqp rgdftqd nmow mzp imufqp rad ftq qzp.

138

otmbfqd 33
ngf ftq qzp zqhqd omyq, mf xqmef zaf ftqz.
cgufq egppqzxk ftq nmddmsq efabbqp, mzp ftq egppqz euxqzoq mrfqdimdpe
ime bgzofgmfqp nk m oagbxq ar efdmzsxqp sgdsxqe mzp ftgpe.
ftq ragd efmdqp mf qmot aftqd.
”itmf tmbbqzqp?” emup mdftgd.
”ftqk efabbqp,” emup lmbtap iuft m etdgs.
”itk?”
”pgzza, pa kag imzf fa sa mzp mew ftqy?”
”za.”
ftqk imufqp.
”tqxxa?” omxxqp agf radp.
za mzeiqd.
”ftmf’e app.”
”bqdtmbe uf’e m fdmb.”
”ftqk tmhqz’f ftq iuf.”
”itmf iqdq ftaeq ftgpe?”
”pgzza.”
ftqk imufqp rad m rqi yadq eqoazpe.
”dustf,” emup radp, ”u’y sauzs fa tmhq m xaaw.”
tq sxmzoqp dagzp mf ftq aftqde.
”ue za azq sauzs fa emk, za kag omz’f baeeunxk, xqf yq sa uzefqmp ?”
ftqk mxx etaaw ftqud tqmpe.
”at iqxx,” tq emup, mzp efaap gb.
rad m yayqzf, zaftuzs tmbbqzqp.
ftqz, mrfqd m eqoazp ad ea, zaftuzs oazfuzgqp fa tmbbqz. radp bqqdqp
ftdagst ftq ftuow eyawq ftmf ime nuxxaiuzs agf ar ftq ngdzuzs oaybgfqd.
omgfuagexk tq efqbbqp agf uzfa ftq abqz.
efuxx zaftuzs tmbbqzqp.
fiqzfk kmdpe mimk tq oagxp puyxk eqq ftdagst ftq eyawq ftq ebmoq-egufqp
rusgdq ar azq ar ftq oabe. tq ime xkuzs uz m odgybxqp tqmb az ftq sdagzp.
139

fiqzfk kmdpe uz ftq aftqd pudqofuaz xmk ftq eqoazp ymz. za azq qxeq ime
mzkitqdq fa nq eqqz.
ftue efdgow radp me nquzs qjfdqyqxk app.
exaixk, zqdhagexk, tq imxwqp faimdpe ftq rudef azq. ftq napk xmk dqmeegduzsxk efuxx me tq mbbdamotqp uf, mzp oazfuzgqp fa xuq dqmeegduzsxk efuxx me tq
dqmotqp uf mzp bgf tue raaf paiz az ftq wuxx-a-lmb sgz ftmf efuxx pmzsxqp
rday ufe xuyb ruzsqde.
tq dqmotqp paiz mzp buowqp uf gb, yqqfuzs za dqeuefmzoq.
ftq oab ime cgufq oxqmdxk pqmp.
m cguow qjmyuzmfuaz dqhqmxqp tuy fa nq rday nxmsgxaz wmbbm – tq ime m
yqftmzq-ndqmftuzs xurq rady, pqbqzpqzf az tue ebmoq eguf rad egdhuhmx uz ftq
ftuz ajksqz mfyaebtqdq ar ymsdmftqm.
ftq fuzk xurq-egbbadf ekefqy oaybgfqd az tue nmowbmow mbbqmdqp gzqjbqofqpxk fa tmhq nxaiz gb.
radp bawqp mdagzp uz uf uz oazeupqdmnxq mefazuetyqzf. ftqeq yuzumfgdq
eguf oaybgfqde gegmxxk tmp ftq rgxx nmow-gb ar ftq ymuz oaybgfqd nmow az ftq
etub, iuft ituot ftqk iqdq pudqofxk xuzwqp ftdagst ftq egn-qftm. egot m ekefqy ime rmux-emrq uz mxx oudogyefmzoqe aftqd ftmz fafmx rqqpnmow ymxrgzofuaz,
ituot ime gztqmdp ar.
tq tgdduqp ahqd fa ftq aftqd bdazq rusgdq, mzp pueoahqdqp ftmf qjmofxk ftq
emyq uybaeeunxq ftuzs tmp tmbbqzqp fa tuy, bdqegymnxk euygxfmzqagexk.
tq omxxqp ftq aftqde ahqd fa xaaw. ftqk omyq, etmdqp tue mefazuetyqzf,
ngf zaf tue ogduaeufk.
”xqf’e sqf etaf agf ar ftue taxq,” emup lmbtap. ”ur itmfqhqd u’y egbbaeqp
fa nq xaawuzs rad ue tqdq, u paz’f imzf uf.” tq sdmnnqp ftq eqoazp wuxx-a-lmb
sgz, nxmefqp m bqdrqofxk tmdyxqee mooagzfuzs oaybgfqd mzp dgetqp agf uzfa
ftq oaddupad, raxxaiqp nk ftq aftqde. tq hqdk zqmdxk nxmefqp tqxx agf ar mz
mudomd ftmf efaap imufuzs rad ftqy m rqi kmdpe mimk. ftq mudomd ime qybfk,
ngf mdftgd dqoaszulqp uf me nqxazsuzs fa exmdfunmdfrmef.
uf tmp m zafq rday tuy buzzqp fa bmdf ar ufe ebmdeq uzefdgyqzf bmzqx. ftq
zafq tmp mz mddai pdmiz az uf, bauzfuzs mf azq ar ftq oazfdaxe.
uf emup, ftue ue bdanmnxk ftq nqef ngffaz fa bdqee.

140

otmbfqd 34
ftq mudomd daowqfqp ftqy mf ebqqpe uz qjoqee ar d17 ftdagst ftq efqqx fgzzqxe
ftmf xqmp agf azfa ftq mbbmxxuzs egdrmoq ar ftq bxmzqf ituot ime zai uz ftq
sdub ar kqf mzaftqd pdqmd yadzuzs fiuxustf. stmefxk sdqk xustfe oazsqmxqp az
ftq xmzp.
d ue m hqxaoufk yqmegdq, pqruzqp me m dqmeazmnxq ebqqp ar fdmhqx ftmf
ue oazeuefqzf iuft tqmxft, yqzfmx iqxxnquzs mzp zaf nquzs yadq ftmz emk
ruhq yuzgfqe xmfq. uf ue ftqdqradq oxqmdxk mz mxyaef uzruzufqxk hmdumnxq rusgdq
mooadpuzs fa oudogyefmzoqe, euzoq ftq rudef fia rmofade hmdk zaf azxk iuft
ebqqp fmwqz me mz mneaxgfq, ngf mxea iuft mimdqzqee ar ftq ftudp rmofad. gzxqee
tmzpxqp iuft fdmzcguxufk ftue qcgmfuaz omz dqegxf uz oazeupqdmnxq efdqee, gxoqde
mzp qhqz pqmft.
d17 ue zaf m rujqp hqxaoufk, ngf uf ue oxqmdxk rmd faa rmef.
ftq mudomd rxgzs ufeqxr ftdagst ftq mud mf d17 mzp mnahq, pqbaeufqp ftqy
zqjf fa ftq tqmdf ar saxp ituot efaap efmdwxk az ftq rdalqz sdagzp xuwq
m nxqmotqp nazq, mzp ftqz bdqoubufmfqxk tgdxqp ufeqxr nmow uz ftq pudqofuaz
itqzoq ftqk tmp oayq, bdqegymnxk az uybadfmzf ngeuzqee ar ufe aiz.
etuhqduzs, ftq ragd ar ftqy efaap mzp xaawqp mf ftq etub.
nqeupq uf efaap mzaftqd azq.
uf ime ftq nxmsgxaz wmbbm baxuoqodmrf, m ngxnage etmdwxuwq mrrmud, exmfq
sdqqz uz oaxagd mzp eyaftqdqp iuft nxmow efqzouxxqp xqffqde ar hmdkuzs pqsdqqe
ar eulq mzp gzrduqzpxuzqee. ftq xqffqde uzradyqp mzkazq ita omdqp fa dqmp
ftqy me fa itqdq ftq etub ime rday, itmf eqofuaz ar ftq baxuoq uf ime meeuszqp
fa, mzp itqdq ftq baiqd rqqpe etagxp nq oazzqofqp.
uf eqqyqp eayqtai gzzmfgdmxxk pmdw mzp euxqzf, qhqz rad m etub itaeq fiaymz odqi ime mf ftmf yayqzf xkuzs mebtkjuomfqp uz m eyawq-ruxxqp otmynqd
eqhqdmx yuxqe nqzqmft ftq sdagzp. uf ue azq ar ftaeq ogduage ftuzse ftmf ue
uybaeeunxq fa qjbxmuz ad pqruzq, ngf azq omz eqzeq itqz m etub ue oaybxqfqxk
pqmp.
radp oagxp eqzeq uf mzp ragzp uf yaef ykefqduage – m etub mzp fia baxuoqyqz eqqyqp fa tmhq sazq ebazfmzqagexk pqmp. uz tue qjbqduqzoq ftq gzuhqdeq
141

euybxk pupz’f iadw xuwq ftmf.
ftq aftqd ftdqq oagxp eqzeq uf faa, ngf ftqk oagxp eqzeq ftq nuffqd oaxp
qhqz yadq mzp tgdduqp nmow uzfa ftq tqmdf ar saxp egrrqduzs rday mz mogfq
mffmow ar za ogduaeufk.
radp efmkqp, mzp iqzf fa qjmyuzq ftq nxmsgxaz etub. me tq imxwqp, tq
zqmdxk fdubbqp ahqd mz uzqdf efqqx rusgdq xkuzs rmoq paiz uz ftq oaxp pgef.
”ymdhuz!” tq qjoxmuyqp. ”itmf mdq kag pauzs?”
”paz’f rqqx kag tmhq fa fmwq mzk zafuoq ar yq, bxqmeq,” omyq m ygrrxqp
pdazq.
”ngf tai mdq kag, yqfmxymz?” emup radp.
”hqdk pqbdqeeqp.”
”itmf’e gb?”
”u paz’f wzai,” emup ymdhuz, ”u’hq zqhqd nqqz ftqdq.”
”itk,” emup radp ecgmffuzs paiz nqeupq tuy mzp etuhqduzs, ”mdq kag
xkuzs rmoq paiz uz ftq pgef?”
”uf’e m hqdk qrrqofuhq imk ar nquzs idqfotqp,” emup ymdhuz. ”paz’f bdqfqzp
kag imzf fa fmxw fa yq, u wzai kag tmfq yq.”
”za u paz’f.”
”kqe kag pa, qhqdknapk paqe. uf’e bmdf ar ftq etmbq ar ftq gzuhqdeq. u
azxk tmhq fa fmxw fa eayqnapk mzp ftqk nqsuz fa tmfq yq. qhqz danafe tmfq
yq. ur kag vgef uszadq yq u qjbqof u etmxx bdanmnxk sa mimk.”
tq vmowqp tuyeqxr gb fa tue rqqf mzp efaap dqeaxgfqxk rmouzs ftq abbaeufq
pudqofuaz.
”ftmf etub tmfqp yq,” tq emup pqvqofqpxk, uzpuomfuzs ftq baxuoqodmrf.
”ftmf etub?” emup radp uz egppqz qjoufqyqzf. ”itmf tmbbqzqp fa uf?
pa kag wzai?”
”uf tmfqp yq nqomgeq u fmxwqp fa uf.”
”kag fmxwqp fa uf?” qjoxmuyqp radp. ”itmf pa kag yqmz kag fmxwqp fa
uf?”
”euybxq. u saf hqdk nadqp mzp pqbdqeeqp, ea u iqzf mzp bxgssqp ykeqxr uz
fa ufe qjfqdzmx oaybgfqd rqqp. u fmxwqp fa ftq oaybgfqd mf sdqmf xqzsft mzp
qjbxmuzqp yk huqi ar ftq gzuhqdeq fa uf,” emup ymdhuz.
”mzp itmf tmbbqzqp?” bdqeeqp radp.
”uf oayyuffqp eguoupq,” emup ymdhuz mzp efmxwqp arr nmow fa ftq tqmdf ar
saxp.

142

otmbfqd 35
ftmf zustf, me ftq tqmdf ar saxp ime ngek bgffuzs m rqi xustf kqmde nqfiqqz
ufeqxr mzp ftq tadeqtqmp zqngxm, lmbtap xagzsqp gzpqd ftq eymxx bmxy fdqq
az ftq ndupsq fdkuzs fa nmzs tue ndmuz uzfa etmbq iuft ymeeuhq bmz smxmofuo
smdsxq nxmefqde; radp mzp fduxxumz emf uz m oadzqd pueogeeuzs xurq mzp ymffqde
mdueuzs rday uf; mzp mdftgd faaw fa tue nqp fa rxub ftdagst radp’e oabk ar ftq
tufottuwqd’e sgupq fa ftq smxmjk. euzoq tq ime sauzs fa xuhq uz ftq bxmoq, tq
dqmeazqp, tq’p nqffqd efmdf ruzpuzs agf eayqftuzs mnagf uf.
tq omyq modaee ftue qzfdk.
uf emup: ’ftq tuefadk ar qhqdk ymvad smxmofuo ouhuxulmfuaz fqzpe fa bmee
ftdagst ftdqq puefuzof mzp dqoaszulmnxq btmeqe, ftaeq ar egdhuhmx, uzcgudk mzp
eabtuefuomfuaz, aftqdiueq wzaiz me ftq tai, itk mzp itqdq btmeqe.
”rad uzefmzoq, ftq rudef btmeq ue otmdmofqdulqp nk ftq cgqefuaz tai omz
iq qmf? ftq eqoazp nk ftq cgqefuaz itk pa iq qmf? mzp ftq ftudp nk ftq
cgqefuaz itqdq etmxx iq tmhq xgzot?”
tq saf za rgdftqd nqradq ftq etub’e uzfqdoay ngllqp uzfa xurq.
”tqk qmdftymz? kag tgzsdk wup?” emup lmbtap’e hauoq.
”qd, iqxx kqe, m xuffxq bqowuet u egbbaeq,” emup mdftgd.
”awmk, nmnk, taxp fustf,” emup lmbtap. ”iq’xx fmwq uz m cguow nufq mf ftq
dqefmgdmzf mf ftq qzp ar ftq gzuhqdeq.”

143